Go to workplace social

i can talk about things i know about and work related things

but when people start talking about their opinions on things i dont know about, or feelings they have, i can't think of anything to say

you can be autistic too, retard. just not to the same degree

look at how triggered you are buddy

cool

quiet time now

shhh

try to meet people somewhere related to an activity you know something about and you'll have someone you can talk to

I was actually writing a shit ton of advice, untill i realised you're probably like one of my old roommates.

The creepy guy who can't keep a conversation going.

After a while the creepy guy actually improved himself. When we had conversations, he was interested in what i was doing, while giving me the feeling he was GENUINELY interested.

ASK ABOUT HOW THEIR DAY WAS, SHOW INTEREST IN SOMEBODY. DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR SHIT LIFE AND STAY POSITIVE

Not having an opinion. Same shit the creepy guy had.

You have a long road in front of you xd

Just ask people about themselves. If you fuck up somewhere don't be afraid to laugh at yourself but also don't come across as pitiable. Just bee urself :^)[not rly tho]

You want advice. This isn't Veeky Forums related just because you use the word "gains"

I'm trying new activities, but i dont know how to approach people doing them

i have signed up for indoor climbing, yoga and dance
been to the climbing gym a few times, haven't talked to anyone there though. have yet to take a yoga or dance lesson, but i imagine it will be the same

Lol faggot some people don't care about other people's dumb faggot lives. Humans are mostly shit with delusions of grandeur. Fuck you faggot you're a shit cunt too.

how do i ask someone about themselves in a group conversation?

>group is talking about dogs, discuss what breeds shed, whether small dogs or big dogs bite more
i dont know anything about this. should i have asked the person next to me what kind of dog they have or something in the middle of this group conversation

You sound similar to me OP
I would also like to know

Then just have opinions about things. Surely there must be SOMETHING that crosses your mind when a topic comes up, even if it's just something like "that sort of thing doesn't interest me" or "I never understood the appeal of that". Then you can follow up with something like "I actually dislike it because..." or "I've never actually thought about it, what's your opinion on it?" or "what about it is appealing to you". Probably not word for word exactly what I wrote because it would probably sound autistic but just something along those lines. If you're worried about sounding stupid then just listen to what they think and then decide if you agree with them, then the next time the topic comes up you can just copy what they said. If the topic never comes up, bring it up randomly, people tend to like having to think about random things that people bring up, even if it's not related to the conversation. Having social skills is literally just a willingness to say what you're thinking out loud.

You are retarded just like your advice.

You don't know anything about dogs? Why wouldn't you say that then, and maybe talk to somebody about different dog breeds or something?

if I'm sitting at a table and they are discussing something, i dont think i should ask an individual person a question for only them and try to take them out of the group convo. they were probably interested in the group discussion

>how do i get social skills?

Stop sitting on Veeky Forums for your free time and do literally anything else. Even watching TV gives you something to talk about with others because most people do that.

Next tier is to read, get multiple hobbies - one you're borderline obsessed with, and several others that you dabble in. Fitness doesn't count, and no matter how much you're into it the only correct answer when fitness comes up is "I workout every now and then" unless it's with another lifter.

Just don't be a sperg and drone on about shit no one cares about.

>things i dont know about

Ask questions about it - if you care. People love talking about themselves. Just don't come off creepy or disingenuous.

Mate you are either born with them and develop them further in your early teens or not, its simple as that

Try the metal gear discussion tactic

When somebody is talking, try to remember the key words of what yhey just said and when they are done talking repeat one of those key words with an inquisitive tone.

So that's what it's called? I'm naturally awkward and have had this is my arsenal for years.

Yeah don't say you dislike something, that's only going to work if you rag on it in a funny way. Keep things positive with new people

Idk dude, people love talking about themselves to the point it becomes annoying, I honestly can not realize how you can't open up a person to the point where he babbles on and on about his mundane bullshit.

also called the Dougie Jones tactic

I laughed out loud at this

thanks for the advice

I'm trying to do this

i find it hard to do these in a group conversation though, for this example about discussing dogs i can't think of anything to ask the group as a whole.. or even repeat a word from it

Stop avataring as a woman, it's beyond pathetic. Sorry but I have to be honest with you.

these pictures are not an avatar. only something to bump the thread with and get attention

And how are you going to get attention in a group of friends? Looking like that? I don't think you look like that, and if you're used to getting attention by looking that way then obviously there'll be cognitive dissonance when in real life.

The effect may be slight but it's something to think about.

>Looking like that?
I'm a guy if it wasn't obvious

only want to get attention from those browsing this board, to get more replies

Translating this into positive advice, try to get attention as much as possible. Theres no room for "humility" when it comes to social presence. (not saying to be arrogant, socially that can be even worse than humble)

That's exactly my point. You don't look that way in real life and I doubt you carry posterboards of female models around with you to bars, which is essentially what you're doing in this thread.

OP i recommend you look up and practice the art of cold reading. Its a conversation technique that involved listening to what people are saying and then using the bits of information you get about them to infer other things about them. if you do it right, people will LOVE talking to you and want to be around you.

what if im autistic and speaking out my thoughts is uncomfortable for others 90% of the time
Even the few actual friends i have react irritated when ive had two beers and decide to speak out whatever comes to my mind

>tfw i use the oblivion tactic

I think its working but everyone has started speaking to me slowly and handing me special ed brochures.

What are your hobbies?

uh, vidya and lifting? with other men i can often talk about politics or work stuff or finances or vidya or sports or something. but i cant think of anything that'd appeal to women

Literaly think of yourselves as characters in a childrens book when talking to women. "Do you like dogs?" "what kind of dog do you own?" "how long have you owned him for?" etc

If they say, "Yes, I have a dog, his name is--" interrupt her and ask what the dogs name is. They love that stuff.

They also like your penis going into their pussies against their will.

I find people get tires of this kind of conversation pretty quick.
I can ask anyone questions, but I just don't connect with people the way they do with each other, there must be something else to it.

Well, hopefully, you're a smart guy and maybe one out of ten things you say will be something clever and funny.

i dont know how to tbqh

>interrupt her and ask what the dogs name is. They love that stuff.
really?

Well,, don't be too pushy about it, but yeah. If you ask enthusiastically and friendly-like. Showing platonic interest really is all it takes, man or woman.

Does anyone else have flashbacks of when you were a kid and being excluded out of conversations constantly whenever you try to talk to your coworkers?

Shmell your mother'sh pushy.

>tfw I know OPs feel all too well
>had a work christmas party last year
>I don't do anything too fancy I just work in an office
>don't talk to my coworkers because it makes me uncomfortable
>we have been given a random seating arrangement for the meal for the party
>people on my table are talking
>i honestly have no idea what to say or do
>can't even talk about work because I have no idea what department these people work in
>one of the people at my table is a fairly cute girl
>looks important, I am sure she has an important job
>turn to her and nervously mumble
>'i dd-didn't realise our company was a company that sold prostitutes'
>supposed to infer she is as beautiful as a prostitute
>she only hears the word prostitute
>says 'err... you can't bring them here'
>turns away nervously
>have to get up and go outside to avoid being sick
>ended up getting in my car, finding a prostitute and paying her to go to the party and break in so the woman I harassed would see her and think i was warning that i saw a prostitute
>just gave the prostitute the money though, and have no proof she did what i asked

Social skills are a meme. Your ugly face was discouraging things. If you had a vagina that would also give you I trinsic value but you're doomed OP

thanks

Fucking kek

We lift for gfs.

desu OP i had social skills and what not but at the end o the day it wasnt necessarily worth it in the end.

I fucked like 6 girls in 4 weeks and got drunk a lot and met cool people but i lost all my gains and got fat and got bad grades

Now i'm going back in cocoon mode/ monk mode because fuck socializing desu

You just gotta practice. Practice making small talk with cashiers, waitresses, etc. there’s already a time constraint so it’s always going to be quick. That’s what I did and now I can talk to just about anyone.

This is really just autism. I do this all the time, but then my childhood therapist warned my parents I had early signs of sociapathy. People bore me to tears, I only find amusement in seeing how far I can get with manipulating them. A large part of this is cold reading. Thing is, some people are so easy to read even manipulating them is boring. This is especially true of girls who are into the whole new age hippie shit, alternative medicine and pseudoscientists like Freud and Jung, they are incredibly easy to read, which is ironic considering they usually enjoy all the pseudoscience to learn how to understand their feelings, dreams and emotions and to better read people.

Most people are boring, realize and accept this and your anxiety might go away (it won't, just like my sociopathy won't).

socializing is just asking people questions, telling short stories, and making pop culture references

>implying this place works like real life
Don't know which one of you is more retarded at this point.
Still, I appreciate the test boost from OP.

An Hero before it gets any worse.

Are you able to make connections with people or have friends? Do you ever genuinely care about people?

Are you an interesting person? Are you someone you would want to talk to? Work on yourself. Stop giving a shit about other people.

That being said, I also don't know how to make connections with people. I suspect that when they talk to me they're looking for something I just don't have.

what if i dont have any stories

Who cares bitch? Lifting weights and being Veeky Forums is only one aspect of our lives. Sometimes we want to talk to like minded people about other shit. If you and the mods can't understand that then who are the real autists?

The key in conversating is actually ask questions. Ask how someone is doing, what they like and keep on with that. Every answer you give should end with a question on which that person can continue. Be careful not to go too personal when inappropriate (that's my mistake most of the time)

Try to find something you both enjoy and just go with it.

If you have weird tastes like myself just read or watch a couple of YouTube movies about shit normies enjoy so you can start a conversation.

how do i do this in a group setting?

how do i come up with questions, i often can't think of anything once i get to know someone and ask the usual questions (where are you from, ask about travel plans, etc)

Not necessarily true, I used to work on retail and as a server for years and I can make small talk like a pro, but I still can't make gebuine friends, and especially not get girls.

A simple trick is just repeating the last words someone said as a question, it usually works 99% of the time.

I find you have to show just the right about of interest, you can't be too interested in people because that's just repulsive and shows neediness.

Another big thing, is ironically, to have high social status to begin with. People like people who have a big social circle.

>feel like you've been talking for awhile, kept asking the other person questions to make it seem like you're interested
>conversation starts to wind down because you're out of options
>its been like 3 minutes
send help

It's time to buy a cabin in the woods and start your manifesto. Godspeed.

thanks, what about in group situations

i feel like repeating the last few words won't go off that well, when people are just telling stories and related opinions about a topic

>a big social circle
i have no friends, looks like i need to have friends to make friends

if you 18+ and don't know how to talk to people you should honestly kill yourself, man

no point trying now

alright op imma post fresh shit from a thread a few days ago that i saved, strap in there isn't much better advice out there then this, especially not the fucking conversationlet advice you've been getting in this thread lmao

"read how to win friends and influence people, then read the art of seduction

no no, i'm not a pua faggot, but those books can teach you a lot about not just socializing, but how to socialize well, shit like get out of your head and be interested in other people, talk about yourself as little as possible, talk to people about things that are important to them, not yourself, etc

adderall will help the motivation to do all of those things, as pretending to care about normies and the shit they like is incredibly exhausting to me personally

stand tall, smile more, be open and interesting, and people will gravitate to you, because heres the kicker: almost everyone you encounter is insecure, unmotivated, and generally a little unhappy, if you can provide them with confidence and cheerfulness, they will love you for it" (continued in next post)

>i have no friends, looks like i need to have friends to make friends
Same idea as 'women want what other women want', being attractive makes you seem more attractive. In fact, having no friends /no women interested in you, can make you seem less desirable. You can fake it by forcing yourself to be really social and always talking to different people, it makes it seem like you're a social guy in general.

"literally step 1 to becoming a social god mate, never talk about yourself, only do it if someone asks you about yourself, and even then give short answers, because chances are they're just being polite and wanna go back to talking about themselves

this doesn't mean just grill people with questions, shits not an interrogation, just ask them about themselves, find out what interests them, pretend to be into it to, connect said interest to lofty ideals or principles to flatter them (oh you like reading harry potter? those books are wonderful, they really defined the literature of a generation, great character development, they really embody this one philosophical idea, etc etc blahblah)

compliment people too, never directly though cuz that's weird, do it indirectly (hey user this is so-and-so, (s)he's one of the smarter people I know, loves literature) and shit like that

don't ever be negative or whiny (waaahhh drumpf is our president, doesn't that suck? or waaahhh, sjws are all over the place, doesn't that suck?) because regardless of how much others love to complain, people will revere as a god if you always take the high ground and try to see the light side of things (I hope Trump does what he can with what he has to make America and the world a better place) or (I admire the involvement so many young people have in politics regardless of their opinions, because change comes with action)

it makes you sound like a politician but then again that's why they're smoking cigars made of your tax dollars while marilyn monroe blows them in the oval office and you're here on Veeky Forums posting memes"

theres more if your interested

It works.
>I did this, then this then that
>Oh you did that?
>Yeah because this and this blabla

> DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR SHIT LIFE AND STAY POSITIVE

Not OP, but I find this shit very difficult. Everytime I open my mouth it's about my old job where I had to deal with people dying all the time. I'm praised at my workplace and people talk about how I do all the stressful work with no complaints, swiftly and perfectly. And people complain about having to do that same work to everybody and they ask how I do it.

>there's no responsibility in this, worst thing that could happen is a line gets backed up for 10 minutes and then we just have to rush to get the machine's up again. It's not like we need to make real decisions within 10seconds or people die.
>Hey, wanna see something disgusting?
>Sure.
>girl dislocates her arm
>"It's still attached. You'll have to do worse than that."

I'm fucked in the head.

>This whole thread

You guys don't actually talk to people, do you?

thanks for the advice

this is good if you're after meaningless superficial connections

Life is a social contract faggot, the only meaningful relationships you'll ever have is with your family and maybe one or two close friends.

Everyone else is there to raise your social status. It essentially forces you into the lives of important people.

that's a soulless existence and i pity you. do you live in a city?

>tfw scared of women with makeup like this
she looks like a lifeless doll

>person is successful and prosperous albeit shallow
>dude ur life is soulless must suck to be successful lmao

fuk u

Go fidget spin somewhere else

You know how you spend ten minutes wondering what the perfect thing to say is, but can't think of it?

That's because it doesn't exist. Which is fine, because as long as your body language and voice tone are calm but interested, you can say any mundane thing and at least get the ball rolling. Don't worry about saying perfectly interesting things until you're already able to handle a mundane conversation. Just say "Hi" and take it from there. Be interested in what the person has to say. Even if the subject matter is boring, just focus on how the other person reacts and experiences things. Build rapport that way.

Yes, saying interesting things and leading a conversation are important parts of being a social god. Walk before you run. Just be able to listen, and be able to comfortably engage in regular conversation before you start trying to lead one.

Read a book nigger

See a therapist. Talk to them about this.

Learn to recognize which thoughts are good conversation topics and which aren't. Listen to other people chatting when you go somewhere and determine what they're talking about. Use that as an example.

Also understand that socializing is mainly just pretending to give a shit when you truly don't.

>hi
>hey
>...
>...
nice advice

Then go back to thinking of the perfect opener. Make excuses for being alone.

> How are you?
> Having fun?
> last time we talked, you said...

Boring, mundane shit. Master it before you try to be Chad.