FPH - OC Edition

>very sex

>Riding my bike to work
>Stop at red light
>Two morbidly obese women pass very close in front of me
>Holding sugary drinks from Dunkin
>They smelled like vinegar (???)
>Feel very bad for them

Story of Samson, "Out of the strong, something sweet. Out of the eater something to eat" theyre bees actually and there's honeycomb in the lion carcass

>squat-jump onto the barrier
>do lunge backflip double barbell curls as I walk by
>deadlift the bridge up to my feet
>flex a 'cep and moonwalk away

Your mom is a genuine discorse

>approach them on my bike
I know you didn't mention a bike but I'm always riding it.
>say 'on your left'
>they jump to the left like fucking retards
>hit them
Probably how it would go down.

>vinegar smell

Yeah that's a sign of badly out of control diabetes. Like that only shows up when you get to the amputation stage.

lol fuck off racist

I would really like to have committed some minor crime and find myself in front of the judge in pic related, I would make all of my testimony fat jokes until she got angry enough that she died from a heart attack on the bench
>You see your honor the air was THICK with tension
>weigh my words carefully now,
>there would be some HEAVY consequences
>like a fat woman at a buffet I just wanted more and more
>the sound of the police sirens was like the dying whirr of a walmart scooter battery slowly dying

What a supremely retarded post made by a clearly supremely retarded boy.