Why aren't you bouldering, Veeky Forums?

>Boost testosterone
>Increase forearm strength/decrease mortality by all causes
>Enhance cognitive function
>Learn to perform epic feats of chad-strength
>Meet climbing qts (who are dynamite in bed)

I don't want to have chicken legs.

My goal is to die while fucking virgin mountain pussy, solo climbing.

>>Meet climbing qts (who are dynamite in bed)
how do i meet people bouldering?

there are some cute girls, but usually they are with other guy sand girls.

t. guy who can only do V1's at the gym

dunno about you user but there are usually groups of qts who do routes together at my gym. lotta times the newbs will ask for advice (even if you're shit, you're probably not as shit as most girls) and that's an easy in right there. will get easier as your skills progress do ur pullups you're gonna make it

bouldering bitches are usually dirty, smelly, and have rough hands. They're usually awkward as fuck. Not a fan at all...

Strictly yoga, or pilate, bitches are much better.

low test. an absolute epidemic

>tfw too scared to get tested

spoiler alert:
it'll be a little below average. doctor will tell you to get more sleep and eat leafy greens. problem solved.

The girls at my (climbing) gym are top quality. They are better climbers than me too so I can respect them not like at the posers at gym. My (normal) gym membership is up at the end of the month. Won't be renewing, doing bouldering full time now instead.

I'm too scared to go climb by myself because I get anxiety and think everyone is staring at me and talking about me unless i have a few drinks thanks for asking

shits fucking fun
anyone here go dogpatch?

Climbing is the shit

I used to lift weights like 3 years ago, quit after about 6 months because it was boring

Started climbing a year ago, loved it ever since. Even got myself back into lifting weights to make me a stronger climber, but climbing alone will give you shredded arms and a strong core/back with a dickload of functional strength. Oh and it's fun as fuck too

Everyone who does bouldering / rock climbing is a sandal wearing dipshit who smells like dog crap and bug spray.

This

yeah but how many pullups can you do brah

This. I’ve never seen a respectable person who boulders or climbs.

I'm scared my finger tendons

i dont want tendonitis

Only like 15 in a row brah
I don't hate rock climbing I hate rock climbers

just go to university you fucking 60kg hippies, god damn it

rookie numbers user
get on those frenchies and weighted one-arm negatives stat

You are allowed train your legs at the same time mate. Climbing is just fun workout, you're not training for the Olympics

Why are so many people my age becoming skelly/ripped, pot smoking every single day, vegan, rock climbing, instagramming, stuck up hippies now?

the hell's wrong with being a skellyripped vegan who climbs? i dunno if you've noticed user but most stronk bearmode guys are fatties

My university doesn't have this stuff and the gym we do have is quite small, so much in fact that I have to go there at 7, when it opens, just to get a decent workout in before the storm of fags come.

>You can't boulder if you can't pull up

I got tested a while ago and the doctor said it was a bit too high. I was pretty sure it would be too low..

>what’s wrong with being all that

Everything?

I do. It seriously sucks though when you become emasculated by female climbing veterans though.

now user there's no need to be fat

What mickey mouse gyms are you guys going to where the climbers are skelly? The best guys in my gym are ripped and have proper strength training programs outside to supplement their climbing training.

Dunno about you but I only met one guy and he literally weighed less than my skelly gf at 2inches taller legit should revoke his man card. In general most my friends are either skinny fat overweight or skinny with the rare lifter or rugby lad.

All of them ? Hell look up top 10 climbers in the world and they look a step above dyel kid who does push ups and has a pullup bar.

i have long nails on my right hand because i play guitar. bouldering looks like fun but i enjoy guitar too much to try

>tfw my ex is bouldering at the only place in town

I have no idea how to start and spend all my spare time doing totally pointless and unrewarding social stuff with friends.

>too high

There is no such thing unless you roid.

Im scared of heigths

Same problem, bro. I can't get through the villa lobos collection with bare stumps

i want to learn guitar, why do you grow your nails. can't you use a pick?

I want to but I have noone to go with because my friends are either lazy, fat or have another excuse to not go bouldering. and I cant go alone can I ?

for fingerstyle, you use all your fingers to play so having nails helps with strumming/picking in terms of ease and clarity of sound

I only got into it because I have friends who climb. But most of the time our schedules don't line up so I go on my own. Always others there on their own too. It's way more fun when you're with someone though.

dont you need someone to assist you ? someone who holds the rope or some shit like that ? I never actually went I always thought you need 2 people to do it.

i made friends there dood they're generally chill as fuck in those places

no rope or spotter required for bouldering.

>try the bouldering problem they are trying
>discuss potential ways to complete it

bam
you're in

>>try the bouldering problem they are trying
but i suck too, might even be worse than them and can't give any tips

Then ask for tips. Look for opportunities, not problems. Finding problems is useful in a different area of life.

So I moved to Colorado for work about six months ago. Any CO bros here? I’d love to get into climbing.

top kek

you mean, you don't want little thighs because your big thighs turn your homo bf horny?

I don't like outdoors rock climbing because all dudes in charge are jackasses and you will kill or cripple yourself guaranteed if you trust them

bouldering is fine but i find it too stressful, calisthenics and lifting is so much comfy and sustainable in the long run, if i wanted to fuck myself up i would do boxing or grappling desu

Too Chad oriented for most of this board. Veeky Forums largely consists of robots that just automatically do their gym routines and nothing else.

Autistically* not automatically.

>Why aren't you bouldering
Because the gyms around here cost more than a fucking car payment.

>bouldering
>stressful

in what way? can't begin to imagine what you mean by this, bouldering is like meditation and my gym is more crowded than I would like.

>crowded gym
go in the morning
i hate going in the afternoon because it's packed

it is closed in the morning, lmao

Enough to break you and your kind.

>b...b...but all rock climbers are skelly dirty vegans

Only the ones that climb to be included in the social scene.

...

fake natties don't count

>fake

What about that guys physique leads you to believe he isn't natty?

His arms are vascular because he just climbed a route up and down twice in a row.

he's bigger than me

Because I have two fucking screws in my right hand and no knuckles

Low fucking test faggot I cant believe I share board with such a massive fuccboi

nigga, i'm broke

i go to dogpatch and mission cliffs friend :^)

shit is expensive. Twice the price of my gym. The $120 for a decent pair of shoes.

it's stressful on the joints

gym is stressful on your muscles, i can drink while going to the gym with hangovers without thinking i will fuck my body up, but if i try to go bouldering with a hangover it's dooming myself to an injury because it has too much stress on your tendons

i'm speaking of anything going past v5 boulder though

Then a have a few drinks. Being an alcoholic will help you fit in with climbers

mission cliff master race

no spotter needed for beginner bouldering

Duh why would you take joy in climbing a gotdam rock. Might as well be a flight of stairs get the fuck outta here