Is your dad proud of you?

All that means is that he wanted better things for you.
Even if you don't believe in an afterlife, from which he can be proud: You can still follow his implicit advice on how to live.
That is what "honoring the memory" means.

>dad is a fat guy
>begin my own journey to fitness
>he calls me "obsessed" because when he picks me up from the gym all i want to talk about is fitness stuff
>in reality i just want him to lose weight so he doesn't die at 65
bad feel

>dad left when I was 10
>haven't seen him since, only a phone call when my mum died
>want to get strong so I can kill him if I ever see him

My parents are dead, but my foster-dad is proud of me. Honestly i don't care though - and maybe that's part of why he is proud.

The gist being: Stop trying to live up to what others think.

You aren't an adult are you

>dad used to be fit but got fat as he got older
>I lift for almost a year and escape skelly mode
>dad starts losing weight because he doesn't like that I am in better shape than him

Feels good because the fact that he is even trying to compete against me is enough to know that he is proud of me.

My father is an alcoholic and probably homeless (and possibly dead), last time I saw him I was 3

My Dad was fit in the beginning of our childhood although he was in and out of life when i was around until i was 5 and just stopped seeing us after that. I remember him playing with us and doing stuff when he would visit. Visited him a few times because for some reason at 13 he tried getting full custody so we had court mandated visitation up until i was 18. He is now a pencil legged big bellied alcoholic. I played sports throughout high school and was relatively fit and he liked to claim it was because of him. Dont talk to him now.

I got a girlfriend who was manipulative and abusive as fuck. Became secluded and depressed. But i gained a lot of weight. My BP was getting high. Gained 100lbs over the course of 4 years. And ended up having a daughter together.

Then one day im playing with my daughter who is now 2 and she is running circles around me. That is when it clicked. Why am i punishing my daughter for my poor life decisions. I remembered the fun times i did share with my dad when he was fit and sober. I remembered the dysfunctional and abusive relationship my mother and father had. I ended up splitting with my ex. And i started exercising and eating right. Ive since lost 30lbs and already have more energy and can play longer with my daughter. I want to set a good example for her.

I cried the first time my dad visited me from his country after bareky talking in 6 years. He told me he loved me when he left again and it just gave me so much to feel good over and motivated me. I truly feel better after that day.

My dad ran at Kona today in the 60-65 age group

I’m shit at cardio sports though, stick to weights. I got up to a half marathon distance in running but it got so painful in my calves. Went to a doctor, got a bone scan, little fractures all up my shins and a huge one on my left fibula. Still hasn’t healed all the way after 4 months. I think this disappoints him, that I’m not able to do these crazy endurance events with him

Caring about what your dad thinks about you is cucked. real niggas only care about what their mom thinks of them.

Come clean and just tell him this.

nah, i know he's ashamed of me as he should be. i've been a shut in loser basically my entire life (25 now) and im his only child

then again, he's a selfish, hypocritical, narcissistic asshole with a nonexistent temper who does nothing but criticize everyone for everything, never taught me any life skills, and in my 25 years of life i have never seen him once do any social activity with a single person who wasn't my mother, so it isnt like he's a great person who im letting down

>Don't lift for grills. Lift for the future mother of your children. And your future children.
Hell yeah man. Keep up the good work.

>dont lift for girls
>lift for the future mother of your children

are you a fucking retard?

...

My dad does full iron man's and he's almost sixty. I like cardio but I'm not that into it, but I feel I need to do at least one with him because I know it'd make him happy.

He is proud of that I chose to git fit of my own free will and he even started working out since I lost 40lbs and now he also lost 35lbs.

Yes user, I'm in exactly the same boat and I think its the greatest feel ever. A few years ago when I first got Veeky Forums I got mum and dad doing some more exercise and eating a bit cleaner as well. Then a few years later I'd stopped lifting and put on 15kg of fat. Fast-forward to now and I've lost it all and am putting on the muscle, and they couldn't be prouder.

Fathers know their sons in a way other men can't. I'm close to certain he would've passed believing you needed a bit more time to get your shit together.

if you can't see the difference between the two user you haven't lived just yet

>implying my father played any sports with me when i asked him to, instead telling me to play with my friends
>implying my father ever offered to go fishing with me, do bike rides, anything with me
>implying i would take girl advice from my selfish, narcissistic asshole father who spent my entire childhood threatening to divorce my mother and who i have never seen have a single friend or do anything with anyone in my 25 years of life besides my mother

Gotta tell him all of that user. Sit him down and tell him you love him and want him to live a long time, tell him about his future grand-kids. Put the science in front of him in easy to digest bits, and let him think about that. I did this with my father years ago and he went from 95kg to 80kg in a year or two and now does some cardio every couple of days and looks decent.

does your dad lurk Veeky Forums. seems he’d fit right in

yes, because lifting "for girls" is completely different than lifting "for the future mother of your children" who would be one of those exact girls right now

people like you who pretend to write philosophical bullshit like that who end up being completely retarded are hilarious

Talk to your father user. Tell him to get his act together before he dies.

He might as well. I hate blaming my parents for me being a complete loser, but I don't think there's any chance I would have become normal having the "nurture" environment I grew up with

> i've been a shut in loser basically my entire life (25 now)

You can change that user. Are you fit?

The ball is in your court now user, there is still time to make your parents proud, even for all their failings, you can make yourself good in their eyes. It is the kindest and greatest thing a son can do in your situation.

you’re probably younger than me, but what i’ve learned as i got older is that you being a loser may have been their fault for some portion of your life. but when you learn to take responsibility for all your actions, good and bad, you’ll start to forgive them and see how human and flawed they are. before my dad died of lung cancer, i told him to go with god because he has nothing to be sorry for. he did the best he could do for me. i’ve made stupid mistakes that i’d thought i’d never do because i promised myself i’d be the opposite of my dad. but this never turns out as ideally as one would like.
anyway, our parents are human and you don’t appreciate their fuck ups until you get older and fuck up yourself

Couldn't have said it any better. Age doesn't even come into it, at SOME stage in your life everyone comes to this conclusion, and your parents suddenly seem a lot more human and its easier to take the good with the bad. Its a good feeling to let go of the negatives and embrace the fact you love each others as family should. Anyone with close family (that haven't done anything outright evil to them) that they haven't talked to in a while, or have grievances over petty bullshit , I fucking urge you to give them a ring and catch up at a minimum. Before its too late.

Regret is a pretty terrible thing, and there's a good chance your parents are feeling it in some shape or form if you are feeling resentful. The shoe will be on the other foot if you let them pass without making an effort to better yourself, if only to make them proud and at peace.

i dont think my father has any regret for me turning out like this, given the fact that he's a completely narcissistic selfish asshole and does nasty shit but still thinks he's a great person

my mom wasn't bad, kinda distant but not that bad.

Why would you post that? :((

You know your parents better than I do man. That said, that doesn't mean you know whats going on inside his head. Some guys are fucking awful at expressing themselves and hide behind the narcissistic shit for decades. Its fucking easy to be an egotistical selfish cunt. Its a lot harder to admit to yourself and your son that you fucked up in your duties as a parent. That would be a crushing feeling if you thought it had crippled your boy for life. To admit that might drive a man to suicide.

My point in light of all that, is that you are in a position to make all of this better. You can make a success of yourself. You can make him proud (and he will be proud) and make him able to confront all of that shit that you've been wrestling with in your mind for the last however many years.

He can't do it, hell, that would drive most men to drink to think that their legacy that they DO love, that that bundle of flesh and emotion was damaged by their own hand. I doubt I'd be mentally able to process that.

Only you can fix things at this point, and realizing the power of personal responsibility is probably the thing that changed my life the most.

If you aren't fit, getting fit is easy. If you have no money, getting money is easy. If you have no success with women, getting women is easy. In isolation you understand. It might seem like you're a kissless 25 neet shut-in skinnyfat loser with no future, or whatever your personal situation is.

But if you break down your soup of different shitty problems into their simplest forms, most thing can be fixed by being brave enough to get outside your comfort zone bit by bit, and by wanting it enough to do so.

>dad's a lazy hippy that didn't live up to his potential and just got extremely lucky with his life
>proud of me no matter what I do because any feat of willpower is amazing to him
>feels worthless to me because he's not really capable of truly appreciating it

Feels weird man

You shouldn’t have ate his food.

R u me 8(

No and i dont care at this point.He would always pressure me about school and force me to get a job or count down the years until i have to get out of the house.I would endure all this but then he started mocking me about not having a girlfriend because his old ass cant understand that women nowadays are a lot different than women his age and i dont want to waste time with any trashbag.So this thing was going on for a good 2 months and everytime he would emphasize it more and more and implied in a joking manner i was gay and shit like that so one day i punched him in the mouth (i have never hit him before) , he thought he could kick my ass or something so when he tried to swing on me i just beat his ass saying myself i was in self defense. Ever since i still continue living in his house but he doesnt dare or want to talk to me or have anything to do with me but im okay with that since i dont have to pay bills and i have food and a roof over my head for free

You sound like an asshole that can't take a joke

Nobody is proud of me

bullying me from young age is no joke

>member of the month

Fucking what

it doesn't sound like bullying though, it sounds like you have incompatible personalities and he still loves you enough to let you stay under his roof

if he tries to kick me out, i will beat him up again

He could call the police user

im sure my mother will prevent that like she did the first time.He now knows who's the alpha male of the house and he better not refer to my name again, now he sees how it is to be bullied and pressured. I no longer have that feeling of holding me back from hitting him and he knows not to cross those lines ever again or he's getting smacked.I bet he regrets now fueling me, physically (with food & money for gym membership) and emotionally with all his bullshit back in the day

Not because of anything related to fitness

Jesus fucking Christ what a tragedy, I bet you're all 90 iq as well holy shit. Utter scum.

>tfw he was a fatty and died before being a real father.

Literal garbage human being user. You're dad is right, not necessarily good or kind, but he is right. You need to get your shit together and get a job and move out or fucking end your life you worthless piece of shit.You are a literal leech on your parents, even more so on your mother.

just because your family is different that doesnt give you the right to judge me like you know what ive been through.When your own blood calls you a dead body, a waste , a loser ,from young age ,before you have even got the chance to form your personality, it scars you and has an impact in every aspect of your life (friends,trust,love,relationships) and all of this is to blaim on him,i see him like the past i hate so much but now im stronger and i like my strong version,i can finally put an end to all those past events.They still hunt me but i will not let things go even further if its in my hand even if that means beating the shit out of my father everyday for the rest of my life.I would never picture myself treating my own child this way, in such a disgusting way so to me its fair game and he gets what he deserves.I know for a fact, things would be a lot different if everyone was minding his own business and didnt try to interfere with my pace of life- i love my mother to death because she will always there for me

>Being a literal psychopath

Fucking end yourself, jesus christ

As a grown man I don’t care what daddo thinks. Be a man not fagboy.

I unfortunately don't know my dad, but my grandfather is pretty damn close to one. He used to be extremely fit and lean, being a home construction worker, then a car bodyshop worker, specializing in the repair of dents, has always wanted me to lose weight, and I want to be nice and thin before he passes. He's already so proud of me, saying how much healthier I look, and it's barely been 2 months since I've started, and honest to god there is no feeling better, than knowing someone like that is proud of you.

explain

You aren't white are you

>He's already so proud of me, saying how much healthier I look, and it's barely been 2 months since I've started, and honest to god there is no feeling better, than knowing someone like that is proud of you.

I know this feel and by god user you are right.

i lol'd, but ye im white

You speak of literally torturing your father to make him suffer exponentially more than you ever did. I'm not saying you didn't suffer as a child, but what you speak of doing is psychopathic behavior. please seek some medication before you shoot up a school

I don't believe you.

If I was your father I would call the cops and have them remove you from my house. Fucking subhuman.

no he's a cunt

If he wasn't white the cops would've already killed his dad before he had the chance to abuse him

kek

It also helps that my sleep has been better than when I was a child, I'm less socially awkward, and feel less like shit. But that approval man.

im not torturing him, maybe just mentaly.The last physical fight we had was around 1-1.5 months ago, but i feel so confused and conflicted.Im to the point im looking for an excuse to fight him, i know morally it is wrong but my hate is overpowering and im just so exhausted,i want all of this to go away and for now this is my only exit- he sees what i went through and trust me i much rather see him in pain than me again,if thats the only solution im fine with it.At least im not turning into alcohol or drugs right?

nice trips

nah my dad thinks im a drug addict

maybe he realized he was in the wrong and saw how he treated me poorly all these years? or the fear that i will fuck him up, he knows im not playing his game no more

Mate, I congratulate you for that. Literally someone who bullies his son from a young age deserves this kind of shit.
I've been through the same thing, but probably to a lesser degree, and this shit fucks your head from a young age, you literally feel like shit and have behavioral problems just because an adult liked to verbally abuse his kid to feel superior. This dumb cunt deserves exactly what you throw at him, he was the one that made you.

You barely speak English cunt. You are a retard and a subhuman, and clearly made of the same shit as your father.

thanks user,i hope you find peace in your mind

its enough for me to communicate and make sense with another.When you learn 3 languages ,we will talk my mother language and see who speaks it better alright? take your frustration elsewhere

Nah, I doubt it.

The main thing I take away from this shit is the depressing realization that there are other retards like you out there, with retard tier parents pumping out violent simpletons. Cunts like you and your kin are why we aren't already exploring the galaxy.

Whats your mother tongue?

>playfully tease your son but deep down genuinely worried he'll be a 40 year old virgin.
>son is autistic and can't handle social queues and beats you up
>so scared and disappointed you avoid all contact so he doesn't go into another autistic rage

...

if you want to take away something from my post,let it be this: Be thankful for your friendly enviroment and upbringing,for the love and support your family gave you, not everyone has it and its not a standard for all families. I envy guys who got it easier than me, felt how a normal life should feel like.I am who i am because of the conditions i was raised under, nobody asked me and it wasnt my choice and i will never get to see who i could have turned into if things were different.I will not hate on you or anybody else because ive seen how it is to be hated on ,when its not your fault, for no reason

>I beat up my father because he makes jokes at my expense, but I continue to live under his roof
>I'm just a product of my environment

I have a feeling you are a product of being born a psychopath

my dad had a stroke recently

i guess he was proud of me, the last interaction i had with him was a facebook message where he said "i love you"

he was never that fit, and he was insecure once i got my first gains, but once he realized i did without trying to undermine him he accepted it and cheered me

my father was the closer thing i had to a real friend, in fact my best friends were just like my father, it's a weird thing, my father didn't took care about his own health and that's why he is now in the hospital instead of enjoying life for the next 20 years as normal people do

I think I'm the favorite son between my two older brothers. My dad isn't one to play favorites but I believe that he secretly likes me the best because I actually do handy shit like him and help him out in the garage on various tasks, while my other two brothers don't really help much and just vaguely show interest.

I got most of my dad's traits inherited genetically where my brothers are more like my mom. Maybe that's why?

How bad of a stroke user? Hes definitely proud of you based on that fb convo.

>turn 21
>join air force
>Veeky Forums prepared me, shit was a breeze
>get back from technical school
>dad does not even acknowledge I joined
>tells me if I want his old car, I need to pay near $3000 ('01 Pontiac Grand Prix)
>wtf no
>brother is 19
>gives car to brother
>grandparents give him another car ('13 ford mustang)
>he lives with grandparents in their basement, I live with parents
>finally stop being a cuck and become a corrections officer
>transfer to air police as well (air guard)
>make decent gains
>flirt with girls all the time
>get my own apartment
>make over $60k a year
>dad won't even respond to my texts or answer my calls
>25 now
>he tells me I should be like my brother who is 23 now and works fulltime at walmart as a stocker

why me?

haemorrhagic stroke, he recognizes me but he has been getting complicated recently with hospital infections and shit

i post it here because i don't have anyone to talk about this seriously, just my mom which is totally destroyed btw

20 pounds in 3 months is slow progress unless you actually put on a significant amount of lean mass. Before and after pics?

I'm sorry to hear that user. Look after your mother, and try to be strong. Remind your Dad how much you love him when you see him. I don't know, its shit advice because there's not really any good advice in that situation. Good luck user.

>be overweight
>280 at 6'0
>dad calls me obese and a fat fuck all the time
>he's easily over 330+
>says he's not obese just fat and that I'm extremely obese
>lose weight by not eating as much and joining a gym
>currently 218
>dad still thinks he's somehow thinner and healthier than me

He's a drunk idiot who can't see that he's a fucking pig. At least when I'm sub 15% bf he'll be well over 35%

He probably wasn't ever close to being 280lb (fat as fucking fuck) at your age. No doubt he wants the best for you, even if hes garbage at motivating you, and has some serious self hate of his own body going on.

218 at 6foot is pretty fat still, but you should sit down and have a heart to heart with him and tell him you want him to be around to see grandkids, so he needs to lose weight. You can help him here dawg, be the bigger man. No pun intended.

It's alright man you're dad and family give more attention to your lesser brother because he needs the attention.

Look at what you've been able to accomplish by yourself without their help. Those are achievements user that do not require other peoples justification, only your own.

>Fuck 'em

>grow up with brother 4yr older
>dad's favorite, always motivated to succeed, Loves the office life same as dad
>He's the shit in my dad's eyes
>I like tools and rough shit
>Grow up as the extra
>we Barely spoke until I was 21
>not too hurt by this, I just wanted to improve and gain his respect.
>I was always mums favorite and she always supported me
>Could tell her I wanted to do anything and she'd give her approval as long as I was safe and happy
>Both parents heavy drinkers, mum worse than dad
>After a night out, mums too drunk to walk, falls over and fucks her head
>Calls to dad for help. Dad too drunk to help until next morning
>Fast forward a few months
>Brain hemorrhage and seizures for mum. Totally fucked.
>Needs surgery but body too broken from all the booze and won't survive
>No choice but to recover normally
>Keeps drinking so recovery never happens and the days just roll by
>Few years later older brother diagnosed with cancer
>Fast forward to modern day. Brothers doing well but cancer gonna cancer. Limited time left
>Trying to make him proud as he was my inspiration from the start
>Mum still fucked, we have the same chat every week, been this way for two years now
>Can't comprehend anything serious
>Doesn't know what I do for work
>Doesn't know about my hobbies or relationships
>Try to tell her things that are important to me in an effort to hear her tell me to go get em and she's proud of me
>She doesn't know what I'm on about. And it all falls on deaf ears. Or in this case a dysfunctional brain.
>Haven't had her approval since 2011.

Cont..

Cont..

>Catch up with dad weekly, and I try to keep him involved too.
>He tells me he's proud but I know it's superficial.
He's not proud of my achievements, or my successes, He's proud that I haven't just become a shit bag. It's nice to know "he's proud" but it's not the pride we all look for. It's not the pride that makes you want to brag to all your friends. It's just the pride that makes you say "he's good he's got a job and isn't homeless"

>Try to show him what I'm doing but he's too tied up with dying wife and dying son to notice.
>Try to get him inspired enough by my journey to make him call up and ask about my day with actual genuine interest, rather than 'its been a while' style courtesy.
>Realise he's a little busy so I don't hold it against him, and I try to support him as much as I can. I just want to make him brag to the world.

They see me as a kid who's just trotting through life with a goal to do well and live good.
Truth be told I'm just doing my fucking best to make sure the world remembers the family name forever. Although we didn't speak much for years, my dad really did have the best intentions for us and was a fucking cracker father.
All I want, is when it's my father's time, i want him to tell me I made him more proud than he ever expected. He deserves a son who changed the world and left our name in the pages of history.
I need to do it for him, and for my brother incase he doesn't get the chance to do it himself.
The world will remember me, and although he was dealt a shit hand, i will make my father leave this world a proud and happy man, just like he deserves.

You will die and be forgotten, like everyone else. Im not even trying to be an edgelord, its just the unfortunate truth. Dont set your expectations that high. One day, when your 45 and realize that you still havent left a mark on the world, you will have a massive crisis that will drill a hole inside of you for the rest of your life. Massive expectations set you up for collasal disappointment.