Mental Health

Sorry for the blogpost -I need to vent somehow.
>Be 5'10, 175 lbs
>started working out three years ago, began college as a dyel incel
>graduated college and landed a job that I genuinely love
>acquired a kind, conservative gf and likeminded friends that I sincerely care about
>feel that I'm finally contributing positively to society in a tangible way
>contemplated suicide for the very first time last night
I feel like such a bitch for even posting this drivel, but I've never experienced depression like this in my life. How do I get over myself and learn to be grateful for what I have?

I though gf was supposed to make the bad feelings go away

I used to think this as well, until the magic of a new relationship wore off.

Create a new goal for yourself, something long term and difficult. Give yourself a reason to get up and get it done everyday.

I'm angry all the time. It is my default mode. I try not to think about things and end up unmotivated and depressed. I drown myself in distractions, but the minute they're through I'm back to clenching my teeth and trying not to lose my shit.

Killing yourself is for pussies, but sometimes I worry I'm going to end up on a shooting spree.

Suicide is for bitches, OP. Hang in there until it gets easier (it will).

It certainly helps, but it isn't a quick fix.

I take steroids, I don't even workout anymore

Getting blood work soon, my estrogen might be out of order or something, I've been heavily depressed recently

I think I'm suffering from something similar. I need to see a professional but I'm apprehensive of what he'll find.

Not in my experience