/MHG/ MENTAL HEALTH GENERAL

How are you holding up today, Veeky Forums?

Confess your deepest, darkest, negative thoughts. Get it all out!

>Confess your deepest, darkest, negative thoughts. Get it all out!

I do a PPL routine but haven't done the L in about 6 months, and I do not feel any shame or regret.

What has happened to my life?

Where did it all go so wrong?

>Being a beyond degenerate asshole betamale-male faggot satisfied with his hedonist addict life
>Having very few friends
>Realizing I am pathetic and put a couple years into self improving
>Nofap, diet, fitness, cutting videogames, porn, procrastination, etc
>Actually become fairly well developed and have a go-getter attitude
>But I lost all my degenerate friends because our lifestyles are so much different and they didn't wanna try and fix their problems
>Now have literally zero people left in my life who care about me beside my immediate family
>Never developed decent social skills and am left in the dust unable to make new friends and the people around me already despise me
>Not being good enough for oneitis

^Pretty much the most extreme form of loneliness and extreme form of regret.

Help, make it stop, it hurts I am experiencing my first real depression cycle.

Do something like starting aesthetics, in which you add some "leg" exercises without dedicating an entire day to them

Go out and meet new friends user

ITT: Taco bell employees

I want out of this game called life
I put on a facade of cheer and happiness when really I’m fucking depressed
Therapist wasn’t any help so I’m just wait for an act of god to take me out

considering you're tripfagging on Veeky Forums I'd say just muster up the courage and do it, it's better that way

I'm running out reasons to get up in the morning. I'm losing enthusiasm for everything. I no longer get satisfaction from accomplishments.
On paper:
>20, 5'11'', ~15-17%bf, otherwise good bill of health
>In uni for CS, dropped a course a couple weeks in to this semester but still doing pretty good in other courses (like 90% avg.)
>Have a year or so work experience, quite a few thousand in the bank
>Lifts intermediate, cardio improving
>hobbies of shooting guns/gardening, play vidya in evenings

It seems at least to me that my life is on track, but I just feel stagnant, like a failure, like I've gotten almost nothing done in my life.

I recently cut out the last of my "friends", I cut one out because he was an actual pathological liar, and had admitted to me that he "like to lie for fun sometimes". I caught him lying many times, not about anything particularly important, but he denied the lies in the moment to my face, and generally started rubbing me the wrong way with his demeanor, and how he borderline shitalked about other friends to me. The others I wish well, but they generally went from guys who were motivated to go to the gym, learn outdoorsy skills and try to grow socially with others, to guys who just stayed in the comfort zone and drank with eachother every few days.

I go out everyday with a smile on my face and talk to classmates and can genuinely enjoy people's company in the moment, and it seems they enjoy mine. I try and talk to guys and girls both any chance I get when I am in class, even so far as to sit next to attractive women when the opportunity presents itself. This has really yielded nothing in terms of real social connections so far, as most of my classmates are living in residence on campus, so most of their social activities revolve around the people they live with.

I dunno, I just want to feel good about getting up in the morning, and be able to appreciate what I'm doing in earnest.

Not great

Lifting is going to shit

At the very least i've got myself an oculus rift, boy is it great and fun

[spoiler]still miss my Ex, getting over her is hard mang[/spoiler]

I have pretty much similar situation, someone please answer this guy

Been trying to convince my ex gf to come back to me but its beyond the point of return.

>recently broke up a month ago
>I became cold and distant and I blamed her all the time
>she'd constantly argue over the smallest things
>drove me further away
>now that its been a month I keep thinking of the good times
>I text her in a crying mess asking her if shes okay
>"I'm fine user. Leave me alone."
>shes found another guy and rubs it in my face
>I ask her if all of our memories were meaningless
>"no. But I don't care because it was with YOU."
>Theres no chance for us to get back together and I dont know how to get rid of this feeling of hope

Then even worse
>girl I've been friends with went out the other day
>we've had a weird dynamic and attitude towards each other
>she used to have feelings. I never did
>now its the other way around
>she has a boyfriend now
>to add to it, one night we got drunk and starting making out hard, and fooling around
>she invited me to a haunted mansion so I agreed and was excited
>I get there and apparently she bought our tickets and bought me a souvenier
>her and her boyfriend are on a break because he wanted to fuck around still, and she is always telling me how hurt she is
>I'm not one to be used to cry on, but I hate how weak of a man her boyfriend is so I help her out
>ergo the drunken sex
>ff the night apaprently it was a double date
>her two friends are a couple
>then there's us
>I start getting the feels again and wonder why she wanted me here with her
>whole night she avoids me
>we laugh and talk and joke
>but when she's scared she walks away from me to find her friend
>when her friends walk off she tries to catch up, etc
>I dont understand
>after the tour we go to a restraunt and just chill
>she gets tipsy and we all head home
>when we get to her house all three of them are asking me to spend the night
>okay where do I sleep
>"oh on the bed next to Aonnette."
>okay...what the fuck is going on

Cont.

I’m scared about the possibility of failing this semester. How do I get myself motivated to study for the classes that I’m struggling in? I just need a C in two of them and I’m fine, but I’m at like 60% in both. What’s a good way to motivate and stay motivated for something that you hate but need to do?

>whole time my friend is staring at me and smiling
>okay why not
>get inside and start relaxing on her bed
>start falling asleep until
>"user get up in making you a spot in the floor."
>what.jpg
>tell her I'm not moving and she laughs awkwardly
>at this point I feel extremely sad and confused but keep pretending to be asleep
>overhear her friends telling her to sleep with me
>whole fucking night they kelt hinting that we should be a couple so I've assumed she tells them about me
>eventually lights are out and she wakes me up to lay right next to her (I was towards the foot of the bed when I just tapped out)
>what in the fuck
>lay next to her and immediately she goes on her phone texting her ex and ignoring me
>okay no I'm out
>make up an excuse that I had to take care of my cousin (wisdom teeth removal) and cant spend the night
>"oh... Now? You're leaving...? Why now?"
>the sound of abandonment in her voice made me even more confused
>left immediately
>get home and start fucking bawling

I'm already an emotional mess but I wanted to do so much. Hold her hand. Kiss her. Etc. When we got into her apartment I just grabbed her from behind and held her and she just embraced it for a minute. Not sure at this point what to do. Shes like a drug. Every time I'm with her I feel more sad inside. But I enjoy the time. I dont want to drop her.

Should point out

Shes 28 and I'm 20.
Most think we have completely different views on dating. But I grew up way too fast and I feel the same way she does. She wants to settle down already. I know I Can't give her that.

Also
I hit a 225 bench for once so I'm fucking ecstatic. I guess.

>I'm sad cuz I have a cold and I have to work 6h from my gf during the weeks
>life can be cruel

just add leg extentions to push day and leg curls to pull day

Fuck it. When I die, I wanna go to hell
I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
No sleepin all day,
All my life I been considered as the worst
I have lied to my mother, steal out her purse
I know my mother wished she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger
I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Also, my Gf is 8 months and her little sister's 2 m/o, guess whos daddy

If not failing isn't enough motivation I don't know what is.

how does sex feel

>tfw just want a nice mare and endless wilderness

Disappointing

I managed to reach a point in my self improvement where a chick I work with is really into me. Without thinking, I invited her to go hiking with me in November. Part of me is really into her but part of me wants to stay away and I'm not sure what to do.