/MHG/ MENTAL HEALTH GENERAL

How are you holding up today, Veeky Forums?

Confess your deepest, darkest, negative thoughts. Get it all out!

>Confess your deepest, darkest, negative thoughts. Get it all out!

I do a PPL routine but haven't done the L in about 6 months, and I do not feel any shame or regret.

What has happened to my life?

Where did it all go so wrong?

>Being a beyond degenerate asshole betamale-male faggot satisfied with his hedonist addict life
>Having very few friends
>Realizing I am pathetic and put a couple years into self improving
>Nofap, diet, fitness, cutting videogames, porn, procrastination, etc
>Actually become fairly well developed and have a go-getter attitude
>But I lost all my degenerate friends because our lifestyles are so much different and they didn't wanna try and fix their problems
>Now have literally zero people left in my life who care about me beside my immediate family
>Never developed decent social skills and am left in the dust unable to make new friends and the people around me already despise me
>Not being good enough for oneitis

^Pretty much the most extreme form of loneliness and extreme form of regret.

Help, make it stop, it hurts I am experiencing my first real depression cycle.

Do something like starting aesthetics, in which you add some "leg" exercises without dedicating an entire day to them

Go out and meet new friends user

ITT: Taco bell employees

I want out of this game called life
I put on a facade of cheer and happiness when really I’m fucking depressed
Therapist wasn’t any help so I’m just wait for an act of god to take me out

considering you're tripfagging on Veeky Forums I'd say just muster up the courage and do it, it's better that way

I'm running out reasons to get up in the morning. I'm losing enthusiasm for everything. I no longer get satisfaction from accomplishments.
On paper:
>20, 5'11'', ~15-17%bf, otherwise good bill of health
>In uni for CS, dropped a course a couple weeks in to this semester but still doing pretty good in other courses (like 90% avg.)
>Have a year or so work experience, quite a few thousand in the bank
>Lifts intermediate, cardio improving
>hobbies of shooting guns/gardening, play vidya in evenings

It seems at least to me that my life is on track, but I just feel stagnant, like a failure, like I've gotten almost nothing done in my life.

I recently cut out the last of my "friends", I cut one out because he was an actual pathological liar, and had admitted to me that he "like to lie for fun sometimes". I caught him lying many times, not about anything particularly important, but he denied the lies in the moment to my face, and generally started rubbing me the wrong way with his demeanor, and how he borderline shitalked about other friends to me. The others I wish well, but they generally went from guys who were motivated to go to the gym, learn outdoorsy skills and try to grow socially with others, to guys who just stayed in the comfort zone and drank with eachother every few days.

I go out everyday with a smile on my face and talk to classmates and can genuinely enjoy people's company in the moment, and it seems they enjoy mine. I try and talk to guys and girls both any chance I get when I am in class, even so far as to sit next to attractive women when the opportunity presents itself. This has really yielded nothing in terms of real social connections so far, as most of my classmates are living in residence on campus, so most of their social activities revolve around the people they live with.

I dunno, I just want to feel good about getting up in the morning, and be able to appreciate what I'm doing in earnest.

Not great

Lifting is going to shit

At the very least i've got myself an oculus rift, boy is it great and fun

[spoiler]still miss my Ex, getting over her is hard mang[/spoiler]