/v/ here

im fucking dying of heartburn help me how the fuck do i fix it?

kill yourself you retarded faggot. no bump.

maybe get off your fat ass, eat more fibre, drink more water and stop your diet of hot pockets and cola

no meme responses please what the fuck do i do

i ate pizza cereal chocolate 2 753 ml bottles of pop two big chocolate chip cookies xl coffee (triple triple)

im thinking theres some kinda Veeky Forums herb i can eat to cure heartburn. like basil or something. tell me what the remedy is

Post your
>Age
>Height
>Weight
>Describe your typical diet
>Describe your typical weekly exercise, if any
Also, since you're probably a retarded shitposter
>Tell us about a time that you spilled spaghetti, preferably with a grill

After that, Ill help you

take an antacid you fucking moron

26
5'8.5
218.8 last i checked (no fucks)
typical diet is carbs and meat. mostly carbs. cold or microwave only. kettle maybe. stove never
lol exercise

uhh one time i was in grade 4 and this chick liked me so we went to a dance. the whole summer i was stressed as fuck that shed think we were boyfriend girlfriend cuz i wanted to be alone

so i confronted her first day of school and her and her friends laughed


also no im not a shitposter this is the right board for heartburn issues

i did it doesnt fucking help. do i need to avoid water after drinking tums? also i stuck a finger down my throat and puked up all my stomach acid... but the heartburn came back

eat a tablespoon of cinnamon

Die and the pain will stop

dude youre lying cinammon is acidic as fuck

Alright, to start with the obvious, you're overweight and eat a ton of heavy foods with tons of sodium. Your weight contributes to acid buildup (and therefore acid reflex), and your diet in turn contributes to this.

Exercise, preferably cardio (swimming, running, biking) can help alleviate some of your problems, but it wont be a cure all. Reduce your sodium intake and heavy foods (substitute red meat with white meat as much as you can), eat foods that digest easy and with lots of fiber (brocolli, sprouts, oats, etc). If you have to eat bread, eat wheat. Try to cut out soda entirely or drinking lesa at the very least. Diet cokes are shit, but still may slightly help you.

Also, try to sit up more if possible. The more vertical you are, the less likely acid with reflex into your chest. This includes when sleeping at night; try to keep your head/chest propped up using a pilloe or your bed's backsplash. Take Tums if the acid reflex gets particularly bad, and make sure to drink a gallon of water a day.

This is a good start if you can actually commit. Please don't be a lardass and give up day 1.

why are you playing video games at 26

ok yeah i dont eat fruit or veggies but i do drink a ton of water. also i dont typically drink pop or coffee. so ill get back to that.

can i drink water after eating tums? does it wash the powder in my tummy away? how does that work? also i usually try to count calories. when i eat good portions i dont get heartburn. i have pills that make me hungry though.

are antacids the one solution for heartburn outside of preventitive measures?

cuz i love them

ALSO for exercise can i just jump up and down in one spot while listening to an audiobook

i dont wanna put in any effort.

It's beyond just eating fruits and veggies. Sodium and greasy fats reduction is important. Also, this includes some occasional vegtables and roots, such as garlic onions; dont eat those if you want to avoid heartburn.

Disperse your water drinking throught the day. When taking tums, drink warm water at least 20 minutes afterwards.

The best solution is always preventive measures. Try to calculate your daily calories burned and try to eat 500 calories less than that. If you eat more than that, try to do some moderate exercise. Dont let family or pills convince you to eat more like pic related: your diet makes you psychologically hungrier more often when you dont need more.

And I'm serious about being upright as much as possible, even when sleeping. The damage has already been done to your chest and it needs time to repair itself. As such, stay vertical as much as you can so gravity can push the acid down. Sleep with your back to the wall, or at least at a 30 degree pluss angle for a while.

Jumping jacks CAN be fine if you stay committed to having an elevated heart rate for periods of at least 10 minutes at a time. Jump rope is a better exercise for standing in one spot though.

google it you autistic twink

Mix a tablespoon of baking soda and about 8 oz of water and down it. If you start burping that means it's working. I had severe heartburn for several years and had to change my diet because it was so bad.

yeah my grandma (who i live with) is fuckin awful for that

ive been sticking to roughly 2000 calories. i dont give a fuck about losing weight. if i gain more than a few more pounds ill hang myself though

i take a lot of pills for mental shit. some of them cause hunger. any advice? im really against fruit and vegetables unless its sliced peaches in syrup. it fucking aggravates me when fruit goes bad. also ill sleep with my head up for sure now

i meant just jumping naturally till im used to some kinda physical activity. i dont think you understand how out of shape i am. just jumping or running makes my knees hurt. i definitely dont mind jumping though and my heart does beat fast. doubt i can do ten minutes though

i shouldve known better than to ask here. even when people seem genuine im afraid of being trolled

Is that a cuphead gif? That game looks really interesting

1) Stop caffeine
2) Don't sip cold water
3) No food/drinks at bedtime
4) Nothing chocolate
5) Stop forcing yourself to throw up, that hurts your sphincter and esophageal lining
6) Use H2-blocker (Pepcid, Zantac) with or without calcium carbonate
7) Gaviscon might work in 2 gulps
8) Nexium, Prilosec, Prevacid, and other similar ones don't work instantly and can make it worse if you stop a daily dose

1 + 2 fuck me hard. i used to take 2000mg of caffeine pills daily. ive only been able to reduce it to 1000mg

yes im fucking retarded

also cold water???? really????

im crashing but ill read shit in exactly 4 hours

>ive been sticking to roughly 2000 calories. i dont give a fuck about losing weight. if i gain more than a few more pounds ill hang myself though
Losing weight will making a big difference mate, not kidding

>i take a lot of pills for mental shit. some of them cause hunger. any advice?
The hunger is psychological. The pills aren't causing your metabolism to increase, so you really don't need more food. If you really want to combat it, eat foods that make you feel full but with few calories, like grapes. Find some veggie or fruit that you can tolerate eating.

>i dont think you understand how out of shape i am. just jumping or running makes my knees hurt. i definitely dont mind jumping though and my heart does beat fast. doubt i can do ten minutes
Mate, I started exercising when my weight was as high as 230 lbs (5'10"), and I felt like shit for the first few months. I could only jog for 10 minutes max at a slower pace. I fucked up my knees dozens of times. But you recover and feel better by the next time. Your knee joints will typically repair themselves just like muscles. Nowadays, I'm 190 lbs (still wanna lose 15 more lbs) and capable of running at 8mph for a full 30 minutes. You just need a bit of dedication, and you go to feeling like a greek god eventually.

>also ill sleep with my head up for sure now
make sure that your chest is elevated or angles as well, since your esophagus goes down as far as your upper chest.

>Is that a cuphead gif? That game looks really interesting
I'm play a decent number of games, and not too many platformers, but it's hard and fun. Worth the money

anons why are you even replying to this manchild? he'll read half the responses, decide half of those are too much effort and then find excuses not to do the rest of them

fuck you op

But maybe you shouldn't go running if you are scared for your knees. Biking or swimming will burn calories but not fuck up your joints.

Probably, but even if there is a 5% chance it's worth to try to change a life.

I can't tell if this thread is ironic or no ... Well if not good luck op you will need it you can make it too if you want