I overthink everything I do and can't just organically speak or do what I feel like and all I ever feel like doing is nothing but dicking around because it's the only way I know to alleviate anxiety from doing literally everything else I'm obligated to do, and therefore I never take initiative or create/follow through with goals. I'm a fucking psych major and don't know what I want to do when I graduate so basically I'm fucked. I've been trying to lift consistently for over 4 years now and I've made no progress and just have small bursts and then I give up either out of being tired or being discouraged. I don't have any concept of intimacy, I'm 22 and basically a gay virgin but the people on the dating apps are like 3/5 faggots or skinny nerds or normies and the ones that I'm interested in don't care about me, and even if something good happened I wouldn't know how to keep a good conversation going so that they'd keep replying.
I just want to be able to be consistent and productive and able to be functional and in control of my life, but I can't even get up out of bed in the morning most times until right before I need to. I'm sick as shit right now and everything I actually do make an effort to do feels impossible and makes all of these other things I want to do seem unachievable.
How do you people keep such a structured way of living? I don't even know most things that most people know, just small windows of things that I have deep background knowledge of but at the cost of knowing as broad a range of things as everyone else. How do I actually have discipline and help myself?
All I ever hear is "just do it" and that it exactly what doesn't work for me, I'm a spoiled sheltered little shit that has no self discipline and I just want to be able to make myself do things but I swear to god I don't know how to be able to help myself to help myself.
You're saying there's nothing you want out of life? If you can't set goals you have nothing to work towards. And thats the basis of improving. Get some mental help man.
Nicholas Turner
I have broad ideas, like someday I want to be more muscular and someday I want to be able to have made music, but I feel like I'm not able to ever do any of these things I want to do. And even if I were able to do these things halfway I feel like I'd still just keep finding problems in them.
And the problem is that the way I work towards things is so inconsistent and non-productive, I don't know how to set structure for myself at all and all that ever happens are very small bursts of large activity and then I just dip and nothing happens for a long time. I have no concept of holding myself to any kind of regimen, I had my parents taking care of me most of my life and now that I'm an adult I don't know how to do it for myself.
Cooper Watson
>I had my parents taking care of me most of my life and now that I'm an adult I don't know how to do it for myself. Join the army soyboy, you will behave like a man real quick once you are put out there to deal with the consequences of being weak and irresponsible
Luis King
Damn son, this sounds exactly like me apart from I'm not gay.
Brayden Smith
>gay virgin
Man you must be really ugly sorry dude
Chase Rivera
I think we've all been there user. Everyone's experience is different so you're just going to have to figure out what works for you. Maybe you need to try nofap, chronic masturbation can lead to a lack of motivation. Maybe you're not eating right. Maybe you're on medication that's making you fatigued? Maybe you have a vitamin deficiency? What do you think is holding you back user?
Sounds like you got symptoms of anxiety and depression. You should prolly try an SSRI. My father was depressed and psychotic, made him normal. I have intense anxiety and lexapro has made my life so much better.
Brandon Kelly
I could get most anyone I wanted if I weren't socially retarded, except like 3/5 of the people on the apps are goddamn faggots or nerdy city fucks or normie garbage I just want to meet people in real life but that's not possible with gay shit and the only way that would happen is if the person were obviously gay (which fucking defeats the point) or if it were at some gay-type group (which are full of faggots and also defeats the point)
I couldn't even if I wanted to because of the SSRI I take >you shouldn't take those I literally have to take them or I feel even worse and life is horrible and scary to me, I've taken either zoloft or lexapro since I was like 10 And I feel like I'd get my ass kicked in the army and then I'd end up stuck in a situation with a bunch of people who hate me with no way out
Nolan Brooks
You've got dreams and you need to set realistic goals. You want to be muscular? Set a realistic goal for growth. You won't be Dorian Yates, but you can tack on 5lbs of muscle a year. You want to make music? You won't be Jimi Hendrix but you can become accomplished at the guitar. Start small and hit your targets and go from there. Have the discipline enough to realize that you're going to stall and screw up along the way and accept that as long as you keep pushing.
Jacob Clark
No OP, don't just jump into antidepressants at once. Don't get me wrong, they work. But there are a lot of side effects and risks involved. Try less invasive stuff first, like maybe talk to a shrink. Or if you want to try OTC supposed, try 5HTP. It's basically an amino acid that the body uses to make the neurotransmitter serotonin which is basically a mood stabilizer. There is a possibility you may not be taking enough tryptophan in your diet.
Cooper Smith
Yeah I take Lexapro and Zyprexa for depression/anxiety and OCD, I can't live without it but it doesn't do nearly as much as I need it to
I fap off and on, sometimes multiple times in a day and other times not at all. My eating is shit but that's because I'm a major picky eater, but either way I don't even have any concept of how to cook and I can't imagine rationalizing myself to cook full blown meals 3 times a day every day in my adult life when I can just grab something and eat it in so much less time. Like I can't conceive of how people rationalize spending an hour making a meal that they eat in 10 minutes, this obviously makes no sense on my part. My rationale is "why would I spend that much time for something so minor (in the short term) when I could spend my time not doing work instead and not have any immediate negative consequences?". And I've always been a picky eater too, a lot of normal foods gross me out, and that aside I generally don't know how to cook food on a stove.
James Murphy
Ivan?
Luke Walker
>netflix and chill? >nah, lexapro and crunchyroll
Nicholas Campbell
you're just lazy
Daniel Thomas
I've been on them most of my life and I literally cannot exist without them, without Lexapro everything in my life makes me scared and sadly sentimental and nostalgic and sad that I'm not in the past. And I do see a psychologist off and on but that only helps somewhat. >5HTP What does taking this do in terms of effects? >tryptophan What is this? And are these available over the counter?
Nathaniel Hughes
yeah that's my problem I don't know how not to be
Kayden Phillips
Listen to Alan Watts Listen to Alan Watts Youtube Alan Watts Watch videos of Alan Watts. Fuck OP just listen to Alan Watts Erryday
Jordan Baker
I've been living by myself on and off for about a decade. I am a shit cook, but I'm still able to feed myself. Eggs, bacon, oatmeal and milk for breakfast lunch and dinner most days. Fruits and yoghurt, or cheese for snacks scattered across the day. Do you still live with your parents? Not being mocking here, just asking. don't want to skips meals, because a lot of mood disorders are from deficiencies. Antidepressants don't work if you're eating crappy. Most antidepressants work by keeping certain neurotransmitters in the synapse of brain neurons. Antidepressants won't be able to work on those neurotransmitters if your body isn't making them in the first place. Also check that "self-improvement pill" on YouTube might be helpful for you.
John Garcia
Forget that 5HTP if you're already on antidepressants. It could make things worse. 5HTP is basically tryptophan. It's an essential amino acid that's synthesized into the neurotransmitters that make you feel good. Since you're already on antidepressants I would advise against 5HTP. Just get ur tryptophan from from your diet. Milk and poultry are good sources of it.
Sebastian Martinez
this just makes me sad, I'm so insignificant to this guy. How am I ever supposed to accomplish anything good when I can't even talk good
Jayden Brooks
You're alone and tired. It sounds like you've never really worked for anything in your life which is fine at your age but it has the effect of you not realising that you can do things. You can achieve whatever it is you want. You think you don't know but really when you strip everything back, get rid of all the bullshit clouding your mind you'll know what you want or at least what feels right. Just go down that path and things get infinitely better.
Moreover you haven't experienced meaning in the struggle. How do you think everyone on this board keeps going? None of us are happy really but we know that you don't need to be totally content, just in the struggle.
Brah don't worry
You're gonna make it.
We're all gonna make it.
Henry Gonzalez
What worked for me was improving a little every day. Its really hard to just change your life but if you get better every year you'll be chad in like 4 years.
Adrian Powell
How did you do this? Thanks dude, that helps me see this a bit better at least
Jonathan King
Fuck cunt just make a start somewhere rather than shitting all over the help offered to you. If it's all too hard just give up already because if a successful motivational speaker on videos can't help you than unimportant user opinions won't do shit.
Dominic Adams
no dude I didn't mean that, it literally did help me, I just feel insignificant compared to the dude
Jackson Rodriguez
That's the first step. You know where you are and you know some place that's better. Head in that direction until you find something you'd rather have.
Justin Bennett
then fuck off to leddit
Parker Russell
>I just want no you fucking liar or else you would just do it
you want other things dipshit
Grayson Gonzalez
It's pointless to compare yourself to others. There are going to be A LOT of people better than you. That's just how the world is. Some people are better than others. You can only strive to be better than the former you.
Blake Peterson
I don't think so. I think It's better to have something or someone to compare to in order to understand what I don't have and improve myself. How else can I know what's actually better than my situation?
Obviously I don't see all of the individual decisions that led to whatever point the person I'm comparing myself to was able to achieve but I'll be damned if it wasn't at least a hint as to what I should look for or try to do.
Isaac Bell
all I want is to avoid having to do work at any given moment like a useless lazy shit, but that isn't possible and also doing that leaves me unfulfilled and unhappy, I tend to wallow in my own misery for this reason. I need to want things other than what I instinctively want and this is why I am in a bad place right now
Christian Walker
Stop thinking dipshit, you will no more think yourself into getting things done than you would think yourself out of the water while drowning. Brain off and stay off. There's only so far in life using it will take you unless you go for the academic life, and even then your final destination is a dead end job with shit pay and everyone walking all over you because you're just another fucking egghead teaching kids shit they can pick up a lot better on their own with the help of a bit of will to learn, wikipedia and 2-3 books. Stop thinking. If/when you do it right you won't care about whether you're motivated, answer the question "why bother" or "what's the end goal we all die anyways" because you won't need to process things that way. You'll be doing things.
Evan Rivera
there are things I wish to accomplish but all I'm ever really good at being able to see is what is right in front of me in the short term. If accomplishing something I want to do requires me to do something in the short term that is hard for me to do then my desire to accomplish said goal will not override my trouble with getting the hard task dealt with.
James Bell
trips don't lie check'd
if you haven"t seen JBP's vids yet OP please do now
Ayden Cox
Ohh, sorry bruv went a little zero to hero there. Yeah you're right I do too, but then I remember we've all got heaps of time and he got there through years of effort. So can we. Never give up cucumbruh
Jayden Cox
It's all about splitting your major goals into smaller goals and then splitting those goals into a daily schedule. You need to make a connection between your short-term and long-term.
David Cooper
Do you need any motivation to watch anime? Do you need any motivation to browse Veeky Forums? No! You just do it. You don't even need goals, you don't even need to see progress, you just do it. And so you do it, you do it every single day, and you find yourself doing it over and over and over again for no reason other than to do it. Then years later, as your body fat hits single digits, as you breach the fridges of the natty limit, as you become surrounded by women, it soon dawns on you how empty your life has been and will always be. You retreat into your inner world, as you have many times in the past. Its invisible walls, floor, and ceiling, painted with the brightest of pastel hues, offer you comfort, a brief respite from reality. You lose yourself to the bright colors, all dancing to the rhythm of an inaudible beat when all at once, a chorus of discordant tunes echo between your ears - first as a thought, but then it grows. As it does, the walls, floor, and ceiling darken like a cancerous black blot spreading on a canvas. This startles you. Instinctively you crawl to an unseen corner and make yourself as small as you physically can. The cacophony swells louder and louder: both within and without, and those three flat surfaces, your sanctuary, melt into the blaring tenebrous crescendo. In that bleak and utter darkness you are blind to the source of the shrill symphony, and know not if it closes upon you or if you close upon it. The deafening weight of the endless bears down upon your soul as the void's cold black embrace squeezes the last bit of sanity inhabiting your mortal mind-space. As your fragile psyche is hammered by the whirlwind of echoing noise, you hear a whisper: faint, yet hideously loud amidst the resounding chaos: AZATHOTH.
