Cringe thread

crossfit is the most bugmen sport there is

>webm
looks like a lot of fun to do

i honestly thought it was reversed to loop until the angle changed

> boasting on an exercise video about getting no sleep

Holly shit at the pic
ultimo cuck

so whats cringe about this? thats pretty heavy

OPs 1 rep max

thats chris spealler. he won the crossfit games a few years back so he's definitely fit as hell despite the faggotry

is this video called "how to get a hernia 101 while boosting your worthless ego pretending to look like olympic powerlifter lifting rubber plates"?But seriously this circle jerk of bad form and low self-esteem inflation is painful to watch, plus someone explain to me why those people try to imitate real powerlifters with that phony behavior while they would shun them in an actual gym for doing the same shit but with an actual weight?

Idgi. How is helping out with his kids and being rewarded for it being a cuck?

>all that kipping
>chin doesn't even reach the bar 90% of reps
Fucking cuckfit

Why do they all do this? None of them can power clean. They all do that thing where they pull it up to their guts, lean back, rest the bar on their guts, then fumble around trying to press it after. The mixed grip ones are especially hilarious. Who tries to clean something they can't hold double overhand?

He won a contest of this? Wow, I am much impressed. Truly a fine athlete.

>and how much are you weighing
>like 138, 139
AHAHAHAHAHA

>He weighs 139lbs
that's the real cringe

it's a continental clean, strongman technique. They shouldn't try it. but your post shows that you aren't exactly well-informed either

youtube.com/watch?v=gJ3cRBcPU-Q

10, 20, 30

these are normal things you should do as a parent, and the reward is normal things you should do as a wife. its written in a way that implies the mother does not do this stuff regularly/finds these things hard, which makes her a colossal bitch. also she is the one dictating what he should do and how much she will do for him, and drawing it all up on construction paper with princess stickers, making him the most emasculated man on the face of the planet

...

Actually looks pretty amazing; unlike most of the CrossFit crap out there.

This. Exactly this. I do these things routinely and also work full time while my wife is a stay at home mom, which is also a tremendous amount of work. How fucking patronizing this poster is. The guy must have a good sense of humor. I’d roll the poster up and stick it up her ass.

>Why do they all do this? None of them can power clean. They all do that thing where they pull it up to their guts, lean back, rest the bar on their guts...Who tries to clean something they can't hold double overhand?

This is a legit technique called the continental clean, you pleb. They're making a mockery of it, I agree, but it has been around in strongman for decades.

A lot of rock climbers used to practice like that in the old days.
Build up that dynamic strength to do an awesome catch.
They figured it was great. Until their joints popped like popcorn.

Nowadays they train differently. Stressing the muscles instead of the joints.
Unless this guy is a "no pain - no gain" mentality he'll probably change his technique as the elbows starts aching.

>this man is married and does what hr loves for a job
>majority of Veeky Forums cant get a gf

this comment does the video justice

ZERO

>Blowjob after cleaning throw up
How do you even get a boner after something like that?

He's not natty and possibly won't live to 50 y.o.
>what natties actually believe in

kek not snap divorcing when she makes this chart

>106 pulls ups.
I didn't see a single pull up. I was a guy doing swing-assisted half-pull-ups and destroying his shoulders and elbows.

...

It's nice that your wife lets you use the internet

lost really really, really fucking hard

>not pulling so badly even the machine tries to get away

retarded

Why is he doing that?

this is what happens when you separate a calf from it's mother too early

Sure, but what’s wrong with making a game out of it? I don’t get why this would trigger anyone.

>its a game
its too late, youre beyond saving

>not doing manlet punches
kek, good luck during the next manlet uprising.

First off. The chart has to be a joke. If it’s not a joke, then withholding beer, sex, and basic human decency until a list of tasks are complete hardly sounds like a game and is quite literally the definition of a shit wife.

This is your hero

holy kek user

Isnt that Sheamus?

Would not wife/10.

What on Earth?

youtu.be/viQnHOXyqEg
behold: the sovereign king of retards

Behold, it's already been posted.

Guess who just got crowned the new sovereign king of retards?

I hope that wife gets beaten

...

Funny, I'll save this to post on /pol/ later.

does anyone have the video of the guy in sunglasses doing 2 inch ROM leg presses for time?

I'm dying at this video. One of the funniest things I've seen in a while. "Insufferable" doesn't do that dude justice.

Ohio is full of inbred looking dudes like this, also just look at how bleak everything is there.

I’d fucking do it for shits and giggles. You don’t always have an opportunity to get a close up view of the mentally ill

>clean up throw up
>conditioned to get an erection after smelling and looking at puke
>mfw

fronk wannabe

GET YE GONE

Even if you fags got good at kipping pullups you wouldn't even come close to doing how many he did. That is impressive as fuck Chris Spealler is a beast, he placed among the top against people who are much bigger than him in the Crossfit games. No one here on Veeky Forums even comes close to having the willpower and determination this man has.

Another note, no one in the crossfit world considers strict pull ups the same thing as kipping pull ups. Only idiots that are mad they can do 10-15 pullups think crossfitters put them in the same category and think they're trying to steal their glory. Bitch your pullups aren't fucking impressive sit the fuck down no one gives a shit and no one is trying to "steal" your glory.

>he learns if he rams it in it causes her gag reflex to spew vomit on his dick
>a few times of this causes the bj reward to be removed from the board

Chris pls go

Ok, I'll bite: what the fuck are kipping pull-ups for? Since crossfit claims to be training and "the sport of fitness" in one, it follows that kipping pull-ups are seen by people in crossfit as very useful and versatile for training... what exactly? Upper body endurance? You can do that without grinding your tendons to shit. Coordination? You can do that without stress-testing your AC joint.

I like Jujimufu but he is trying way too hard in that webm.

Why do deadlifts? Why do squats? You're just going to stress your joints. I've never heard of an exercise more damaging than deadlifts yet they're one of the most popular lifts in existence.

Why do kipping pull ups? Exactly as you said, upper body endurance. There's no substitute to accomplish what kipping pull ups do except maybe rock climbing or something. I've never, fucking heard anyone injure themselves doing kipping pullups. Yeah you might link some article of how it's theoretically bad for you and some anecdotal articles, but everything has the potential for injury. I used to do them all the time, nothing humbles you more than thinking you can probably do 50 kipping pullups(I could do 25 strict dead hangs) only to barely scratch 35. You guys all think its easy cause they make it look easy. They make pistols look easy, they're not. Everything looks easy before you try it. I just hate people here that talk shit about things they've never tried.

I made a long post a few days ago answering this, the tl;dr is its a quantity over quality thing. Here, quality is stressed and seen as the most important part of working out (fewer reps with good form > a million reps with shit tier form). Sadly, the majority of normies only give a fuck about the raw number they get in the end. They dont care how they get there or the dumb type of shit they do so long as they can get a big number when theyre done. people interject this mentality into everything, and crossfit was born from this

very clever

wait is Veeky Forums hating on juji now? he's one of the only good ones left, everyone else takes themselves way too seriously

You are a fucking moron. That's not what crossfit is about at all. Maybe if you took your head out of your ass you'd know that.

Every movement has a minimum requirement to have the rep count. They give minimum restrictions on how these are accomplished. This way if someone finds a more efficient way to complete the movement then they're ahead of the rest. Using momentum is a natural part of life in everything you do. Crossfit is about the total amount of work done. It's about endurance. You can sprint a marathon, but it's smarter to jog it. Doing all the movements efficiently IS quality. It takes a long time to learn the butterfly kip and even longer to be efficient at it.

Again, kipping pullups are a totally fucking different thing than strict. This is like comparing a sprint to a jog. They are two different movements each accomplishing a different goal.

>Why do deadlifts? Why do squats?
They cause significant hypertrophy, CNS conditioning that translates into almost every human activity, increased bone density and joint integrity, and flexibility.

Kipping pull-up do none of that: They're dog-shit for hypertrophy, the movement itself is not applicable to nearly as many activities, they actually decrease joint integrity, they don't stretch any muscle trough full ROM.

>Exactly as you said, upper body endurance.
And as I said: there are ways (assisted pull-ups, lat pull-downs, light rows) to do the same in a more consistent and much less hazardous way.

>I've never, fucking heard anyone injure themselves doing kipping pullups.
Rotator cuff injuries or shoulder separations are rarely traumatic, they're cumulative. By that logic: I've never seen someone die from smoking one cigarette or even a pack - so all that anecdotal evidence and theoretical bullshit about them being bad must be a lie.

>They make pistols look easy, they're not.
Neither are they something elite, basically just: don't be a fat fuck, don't have the patellar tendon integrity or ankle mobility of a sedentary fuck and have a decent squat.

>I just hate people here that talk shit about things they've never tried.
I never tried eating lead shavings, but I can make an educated guess that it wouldn't be much fun. Based on theoretical bullshit and doctors advice and stuff.

Question: if crossfit training methods are so sound, then why do most top-tier crossfitters follow routines that are more akin to powerlifting or weightlifting or strongman routines than actual crossfit?

Veeky Forums hates on everything
It's only a matter of time before they turn on Bugenhagen once they realize what he's doing(unconventional lifts) is the exact same thing as what crossfit does. They just don't have the mental capacity to make that connection yet.

this HAS to be a joke

My daddy told us not to be afraid of our lifts...

>jefferson deads for triples is the same as rounded, hitched and dropped deads
Besides, if crossfit was a competition or an exhibition: few people would have a problem with it (besides that it is boring as fuck to watch.) The problem is that it is supposed to be a training method, a branded and up-sold variation on circuit training. Not even that would be that much of a problem; if it also wasn't bad, really bad, circuit training.

...

youtube.com/watch?v=PbUhaljPCss
kek

>Kipping pull-up do none of that: They're dog-shit for hypertrophy, the movement itself is not applicable to nearly as many activities, they actually decrease joint integrity, they don't stretch any muscle trough full ROM.

That's not what I said at all. Do you think people who run marathons don't know that's dogshit for hypertrophy and CNS conditioning? If so, you should go tell them.

>Rotator cuff injuries or shoulder separations are rarely traumatic, they're cumulative.

If you can show me an actual quantitative study that shows any significant injury to rotator cuff injuries directly correlated to kipping pullups that's more hazardous than squats or deadlifts and the numerous injuries they are linked to I'd be happy to give that to you. Until then, you are just talking shit.

>Neither are they something elite

Wtf that wasn't my argument there either. Reading comprehension must not be your strong suit. I said they are hard to do. Muscle ups are hard to do. Clean and jerk and snatch are hard to do with good form. These are all things normies and most of Veeky Forums can't do. If you can do them pat yourself on the back I don't care.

>I never tried eating lead shavings, but I can make an educated guess that it wouldn't be much fun.

That's a fair point. However I'm the type of person that doesn't talk shit about things I haven't tried or researched. You definitely haven't been exposed enough to actually see through the bullshit. If all you've seen was fail videos of crossfit of course you're going to think it's stupid. However I used to be like you. I talked a lot of shit about it, how it's bad for you and all that. Tried it just for shits and was completely humbled by it. Not only was I completely immobile to do half the lifts but I wasn't even as strong as I imagined I'd be on some things like the clean and jerk, let alone not even remotely close to the endurance.

Like it or not, this is what peak performance looks like

>That's not what I said at all.
That was my answer to your question of why one should do deadlifts or squats. Just making it clear that kips do none of that as an adjunct.

>If you can show me...
fitnesspainfree.com/why-are-kipping-pull-ups-causing-shoulder-injury-and-what-can-we-do-about-it/
It's an article, but references 5 relevant studies. The key to staying injury free: stopping once you fatigue your rotator cuff and can't pack your shoulders anymore ie. not doing them for max reps. And even then they still pose a significantly elevated risk.

>Reading comprehension must not be your strong suit.
You said that crossfitters make them look easy, the direct implication being that they are not - unless I'm having a stroke. Otherwise, why bring it up in the first place? Nothing that is a part of any kind of widely done training programme is that hard.

>Tried it just for shits and was completely humbled by it...
If you want to be explosive - just do normal Olympic lifts or sprints or box jumps (just fucking step down instead of jumping down heels first.) Endurance - run, swim, cycle; upper body endurance - row. Raw mass - barbell compounds. Crossfit is simply a tepid compromise in every respect. It kinda reminds me of that movie about military engineers trying to build a new infantry scouting vehicle and every so often they get handed down new specs and features, so every new iteration gets more and more "versatile" ie. shit.

TIK TIK BOOM

impressive backflip d e s u

m.youtube.com/watch?v=MSid_ettevQ

Clickbait hgh gut

CALIFORNIKEKS BTFO

youtube.com/watch?v=SDfMq7cpA2M
the guy is a true master of physical training

she probably made this to discourage him from fucking their kids. my parents molested me a lot until a social worker came and made a sexual incentive board like this and the molestation really dropped off for a while.

>That fucking video
I would literally offer to spot him on a bench press then smash the barbell down on his throat until his eyes pop out.

I DO KICKERS

...

what the fuck? how does a board with stickers on it decrease dad-cocking? why would a social worker suggest it and leave you with your very loving father?

i don't know. but it worked. it looks like the same board actually, i think they print a bunch of copies and just hand them out to diddlers.

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read.

He literally weighs lmao 1pl8 and can't even do pullups.