Veeky Forums - tinder general

Just say something like “let me get your number and I promise I’m just as attractive in person as I am humerus”. So you can keep up up with your fuckin bone memes

What do?

Why cant i find a girl that can quote joe blackburn?

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...

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i like how thots (especially fat ones) always use dick size as an isult.
I think that is because you can see her ass and tits. Therefore you can't really use

>You probably got small tits
as an insult cause you can kinda see them anways - same for ass

But the dick is completely hidden - it is a safe insult for them because you can't really proof the opposite.
Fucking everything dude

Guys if a girl has a nose piercing or something like this a good opener?
>nice piecing, did it hurt?
>if you want to feel another tiny prick I can help you out

why are you talking to this fucking manatee

say "OOUUUOOAOOAUUUUUAHHAHUU"
and when she goes "wtf" say that you "thought it would be polite to communicate to whales in their own language'

WORST TINDER THREAD EVER
Bad puns and fat chicks

... This is very fucking pathetic, jesus christ get a life or die trying. These "pickup lines" don't work, learn to actually talk to people you miserable cunt.

>women try socialising, zero fresh content

>I'm a living testament to the fact that women can meme

thats a hot anime babe right there
care to share more?

Tinder general is not s thing on this board.
How is this fitness related?
Report this shit

Social gains are gains too

It's just to get them aware of you and open a line of communication.
They don't give a shit about guy number 576 saying "hey, how are you?", he's boring. You make them laugh or react in some way, THEN you can start talking to them.

Read the Rules for the board wont you.
This do not belong here, back to /soc/ or go to /adv/

Then come up with something original, it's not that hard. "Hey, did you just eat a burger because you look fat... " wait no, the fact that OP's talking to fatties means he's very, very average looking or black, or just plain ol' ugly.

Chatting up to obese woman. Kill yourself.

tibia is a bone
she prolly thinks you are just stupid

kill yourself for the next move, should have been your first
>tfw no gf

I know that. Thats why i kept going for it

tru

this is why i always open with "hitler was right"

>have never matched with a woman
>still a tinder virgin

How can I minmax my profile lads?

Be attractive. Dog pic.
Buy boosts and unlimited swipes.

This, Jesus get some self respect

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
that bitch is probably 200 kgs of pure fat, but you're actually more disgusting than her for liking that.

Veeky Forumss standards everybody

>be attractive
fuck

How do I take good photos for my profile? I just went with a generic face shot but even the best attempt didn't turn out very well.

>dog pic
fuck
(lmao 2cats)

>>boosts and swipes
I might do this, but 1mo is terrible value and I don't want to pay for 12mo when I might still never match anyone

I don't want to enable searching for men to get ideas for profiles in case tinder starts thinking I'm gay.

I know shes disgusting, but someone on this board told me fucking fat chicks gives you a test boost

Can't help you much with pics, but you should have more than one, and not just selfies if you can help it. Have pics where you're actually doing something.
Any cute animal is a plus, so cats are also fine. Personally I'd take a picture where I hold both cats next to my face and pull an ironic mean mug face, showing there's some levity to your personality at least.

I bought 1 month and it's not THAT expensive. If you think about it it's not any more than you'd spend in one night on drinks if you were out trying to meet chicks. So for that you can swipe literal thousands of girls over a month, and if you time your boosts (Friday through Sunday evenings) you should get some matches.

women in their thirties are the easiest

Hey, this seems like pretty good advice, I'll give it a try.

Not sure there's enough going on around my area to justify the tinder premium but I'll try a month and see how I go.

>tfw match with a female more swole than you
>tfw that’s my fetish
>call me daddy and choke me

prepare to get pegged.

As long as some pegging gets done, I’m game. She’s got some nice legs and an ass!

Captcha: open 2300

>They don't give a shit about guy number 576 saying "hey, how are you?"
they will if they are interested enough. i use "hey" all the time, and it does not seem to be any worse or better than sending a unique message.

Why are you interested in moon face?

>you liked this dugong
>she's not even funny or interesting, what's more, she's a prick
You don't want to sell me deathsticks

give more details doe

Why doesn't she just remove you from matches if she's this annoyed

Its probably not a good idea to open with this lol

Lmao

Way to go little boy :3

L I T T L E
B O Y

...

What do you guys do for a living?

I always get unmatched after i tell them im a truckdriver

feels bad man

>"I'm a self-employed logistics specialist"
There ya go, hah

I'm a software dev and get maybe one match every two weeks

yeah you can lie but in the end they know what it is so better to come clean from the start

Do any of you guys fuck fatties regularly? I like the fact that I can do literally anything to them but anytime I get a proper gf I get the need to plow some fatties in the ass

I'm too beta to cheat on my gf just for fat pussy

post pic of her

this is my fetish, how do I approach?

Question about tinder pics.

I posted this in another tinder thread but wasn't much help. Not really looking for critiques, just an answer to my question.

I have no pics that display both my face and body well. My question is, do I make my first photo something that shows my face well but not by body, or one that shows my body well but not my face? Which will lead to more right swipes / profile views?

Pic related is the 'body' pic I would use. Face is edited out but it's basically just me looking down at my phone with bad quality so you can't really even see what my face looks like.

I'm no expert but I would just engage her in some conversation then ask if she wants to hang out fairly quickly

on your first picture you need to frame your face.
>Shirtless pictures at the beach/pool/lake only
>outside pictures only even if its selfies

>unemployed
>likes to travel
what a catch

>dick is completely hidden
not gonna make it

You look really good dude. Im a fat guy and you're my inspiration for weight loss.

Good luck on tinder brah! Soon after my weight is shed ill join your ranks.

These threads are fun stop being a faggot because you never get any matches

Candid photo of you having fun with friends. Anything else screams "desperate loser."

Face always in first pic. Don't use autistic gym selfies to show body. If you're trying to stay classy, use an outdoor pic like other guy said, shirtless at beach or whatever. If you don't wanna go shirtless, get a body pic of you in a nice fitting button up. True chads can do bathroom mirror selfies if they just need to get their dick wet.

Can someone help me improve my bio? I've got 90 matches in my first few weeks but I think I can do better. Bio is: Amateur pillow fighter looking to make it pro
6'2" but I tell people I'm 5'10" to piss off short guys

thanks brahs

Cause she desperate for sum D

Good didgets

>occasionally get matches
>sometimes get numbers
>get numbers but they "busy"

I've been on Tinder since April and have met 15 girls but only fucked two of them. I mostly swipe Asians. It seems my luck comes in waves where I'll get like 10 matches throughout the week and then go a week or two with only two matches.

Any tips?

Brehs I don't have money to spend on an std test what do?

If you're cucking this guy and he's into it maybe you can get him to pay for the std test? Make it even more humiliating for him

>I've been on Tinder since April and have met 15 girls but only fucked two of them
Thats a 13% win ratio right there, pretty good user

Abandon ship

I'm not a kike or a nigger, user. I despise asking for money or asking someone to pay for something.

He's not that beta desu. The couple is really nice, and the husband is like my long lost older brother desu. There both 37, and I'm 21 :/

You're doing pretty decent user. Maybe try getting some better pics too if you want to increase the matches.

This is what perfection looks like

i've had over 500 matches and only fucked one girl, she became my long term gf after that.

I got plenty of dates but was also too pussy to follow through and bailed a few days before we were supposed to mee, so I guess I went on one date and managed to fuck her so i'm at a 100% ratio, right guys?

>I'm not a nigger
Then why are you fucking another man's woman you pathetic sack of shit?

I only use selfies and get a lot of matches (then again I have a good face and I'm a blond american dude living in sweden)
Point being, the only thing that matters is making sure you look good/look good in your pictures. The rest means shit. I have not a single picture with other people in it. I don't get why Veeky Forums is so obsessed with pictures with friends or non-selfies

I had to google a manatee but had a great laugh afterwards

Lmao what the fuck that's some weird shit bro

My fav

you sound autistic and angry so the less you speak the better

>tfw ywn be a tinder chad

Both true, thanks for the advice

So does the girl to the immediate left of Big Bertha just have a gigantic right-hand then? kinda like Ludacris in that one music video?

How exactly am I a pathetic sack of shit? The wife has a kink for younger guys and the guy just wants to please his wife. I could tell he, too, was enjoying himself while his wife and I were having sex, so it's a win-win for all parties involved.

Weird is getting your ass hole fingered by a woman while she's deep throating you and getting fucked by her husband simultaneously. The first encounter was quite the experience.

fucking checked

when will they learn?

pics pls

This fatty might be more autistic than you op