Post top tier historical banter

In 1939 Stalin watched a movie "The Train goes East". The movie was tedious: train rides, stops...

>What station is that? – asked Stalin.

>Dem'ianivka.

>This is where I get off, – said Stalin and left the room.

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en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reply_of_the_Zaporozhian_Cossacks
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Forgot to mention he had the director killed

That movie came out almost 10 years later, but okay.

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Lol that's the best part!

>Stop sending people to kill me. We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle. [...] If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow, and I won't have to send a second.
>- Josip Broz Tito.

The director died in 1994, though.

Fuck you OP your thread sucks.

OP here wasn't me tho I did fuck up the date my b

We are talking about the 1939 movie. There was a remake in the 40s.

Well do you mind providing me a source for this alleged 1939 movie? No matter what I type (including Russian) it leads me to the 1948 movie.

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Stalin always was an absolute mad man

It was lost during the war which is why they remade it.

what’s going on in this image?

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American and French soldiers digging a grave during WW1.

If you say so, champ.

Fucked up, building coffins not digging graves.

that's a solid meme

>*Sends the director on a train straight to Kolyma*
>Heh, nothing personal kid.

This whole thread fucking sucks

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>Build a massive cult of personality through sheer terror
>Thousands of mountains, towns, cities, streets, squares are named after you across all Russia
>Become basically omnipotent, Soviets would clap for more than 10 minutes after his speeches because nobody wanted to be the first one to stop
>Eventually get bored of the constant praise
Was he the closest we ever came to having a living God-Emperor? Would an omnipotent being get bored like this?

>The Finnish communist Arvo Tuominen reports a sarcastic toast proposed by Stalin at a New Year Party in 1935 in which he said, "Comrades! I want to propose a toast to our Patriarch, Life and Sun, Liberator of Nations, Architect of Socialism, Gardener of Human Happiness, Lodestar of Mankind, [he rattled off all the appellations applied to him in those days] – Josef Vissarionovich Stalin, and I hope this is the first and last speech made to that genius this evening."

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This isn't true. There is no sources at all and they even got the date of the movie wrong.

Stalin has lost his pipe. Beria promises to find it for him. Later Stalin finds his pipe. Beria: "Don't worry, Comrade Stalin, two have already admitted and I'll see to it that two more will also admit!"

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Tito was a fucking boss, man. Literally held the balkans together with the gravitational pull generated by his clanking brass balls.

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how does he do it

Building coffins

Even If it is fake it is still amusing
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reply_of_the_Zaporozhian_Cossacks

>Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
>O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse?
>The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.
>Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia,Podolian thief,catamiteof Tartary, hangman ofKamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
>So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. >Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

Truly masters of bants.

EPIC: turkroach MANLET getting DUNKED ON by BASED COSSACKS

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>turkroach MANLET
*ottoMANLET

thats a fake letter

>Bolshakov once authorised a movie for national release without asking Stalin, who was on holiday. At the next showing, Stalin asked him: "On whose authority did you release the movie?"

>Bolshakov froze: "I consulted and decided." "You consulted and decided, you decided and consulted," intoned Stalin. "You decided." He then left the room in a doomladen silence. Eventually, his head popped round the door: "You decided right."

He had so much power he was like a bored kid torturing ants.

One of the more darkly humorous episodes of warfare occurred on 29 January 1945, in Holzheim, Belgium. Funk and his paratroopers were assaulting the town, and he left a rearguard of 4 men, while he scouted ahead to link up with other units, Those 4 men had to guard about 80 German prisoners.

Another German patrol of 10 happened by and overwhelmed the 4 Americans, freeing the prisoners and arming them. When Funk returned around the corner of a building, he was met by a German officer with an MP-40 in his stomach. The German shouted something at him, and Funk looked around.

There were now about 90 Germans, about half of them armed, and 5 Americans, disarmed except for Funk. The German shouted the same thing at him again, and Funk started laughing. He claimed later that he tried to stop laughing, but the fact that the German was shouting in German touched a nerve. Funk didn’t speak German. Neither did any of the other Americans. Why would the German officer expect him to understand?

His laughter and non-compliance caused some of the Germans to start laughing. Funk shrugged at them and started laughing so hard he had to bend over. He called to his men, “I don’t understand what he’s saying!” All the while, the German officer was shouting more and more angrily.

Then, quick as lightning, Funk swung his Thompson submachine gun up and emptied the entire clip into the German, 30 rounds of .45 ACP. Before the other Germans could react, he had yanked the clip out and slammed another in and opened fire on all of them, screaming to his men to pick up weapons. They did so, and proceeded to gun down 20 men. The rest dropped their weapons and put their hands up.

Then Funk started laughing again and said to his men, “That was the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever seen!”

That stupidest fucking thing earned him the Medal of Honor.

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Just gonna pull facts outta my ass. 1939 still had the terror going on and Stalin had to approve every movie before release. Never got around to it. After the Patriotic War, Stalin would force his magnates to get drunk and watch films with him. He would also laugh when Beria would put tomatoes into Mikoyan or Mikoban(?) back pocket and then push him against a wall.

>clip

Stalin always gets his man, even if it takes a while

>Teleports behind you and kidnaps your assassins, kills your terrorist cells, and makes fun of you

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Except Tito.

And John Wayne

expecting bullshit not to get called out on a board full of history buffs...

Stalin did allow plurality in his chain of command. It's well known, for example, that as the Battle of Kursk plan was formulated, Stalin favoured preemptive strike, while Zukov was in favour of defence and counter-offensive, and the latter plan was chosen.

Basically, something virgin Hitler would have never done.

was he, dare I say, an A B S O L U T E . U N I T?