Mom science rage thread

brainlet here, whats bad about that? also is it bad for weight loss?

When they say women don't like big muscles they're referring to big bodybuilders and dudes with the roid looks, completely disregarding the time and effort needed to get there and immediately saying dumb shit like "you should take it easier at the gym". They do love some natty muscular, lean, athletic body.

And also this:
They have no fucking clue sometimes.

This
All women say they want a nice guy. What they're really attracted to makes them feel bad so they never admit it, or they really don't know because women don't logic.

This.

These really fucked me as a kid.

>You can have as much soda as you want with dinner, just drink a glass of water to balance it out.
>Go ahead, have an extra bowl of ice cream. You're young, you'll burn it off.
>Eat an orange with your XL bowl of breakfast cereal to even it out.

>Enter high school as an obese wobble monster because I thought nutrition was a point-based system that relied on balancing out bad eating with good eating.

Nah, it's just HIIT training for your pancreas

>eating once a day is bad for the stomach
>carbs will fill you up eat more of them
These are true.
>big muscles are bad no girl likes big muscular guys
This is partially true. Believing there is 'one type of man' that women like shows your lack of experience in life.
>squatting is very bad for the knees
It actually is because most of you go past 90 degrees, and you try to increase the resistance too quickly for real adaptation to occur, because of peer pressure.
>deadlift? Your lifting with your back that’s bad for you
If you do DLs wrong, you'll fuck up your back. That being said, again, most of you try to progress the resistance too quickly due to peer pressure, and you end up injuring yourselves.

>implying you know a goddamned thing about women, being an underage b& virgin

>carbs will fill you up eat more of them
I actually misread that; carbs WON'T 'fill you up', except with FAT. My bad.

Mom always complains how she can't digest big meals. She will stare in awe if somebody has two warm meals a day. But she'll compensate by munching on bread and cheese all evening and then wonder why she feels bloated and how young people "get away with" warm suppers and such.

Also the constant enlightenment about how food X is really good for you, then backpedalling a few weeks later ("it really has lots of energy after all") after no positive results, needless to say she never stopped with the bread and cheese.

"Oh I don't eat in the evenings because my stomach is so sensitive" --- > continues the bread & cheese binge.

>"So user, I started reading about vaccinations online..."

look on the bright side, you actually ate some healthy food

That's how diabetes happens

The thing you said about big muscles and girls is incorrect.
OPs mom said that no girls like big muscles, not some, making it a simply wrong statement.

what if I eat 2 large meals a day with some snacks in between?

>Mom understands that I put time and effort into researching what I put into my body
>She trusts I'm old enough to make my own decisions
>Although she's not interested in lifting she always asks me how my progress is and encourages me to stick with it if I'm having a bit of a plateau
Thanks mom, you're alright.

my favourite is when I've just finished 2 hours at the gym and my mum chastises me for eating like a pig when im looking to shove as much protein and carbs in mouth as possible.

>height doesnt matter user, now go get a gf!
o-o-ok mom

fucking kek

>if you're hungry, eat! You're a growing boy and need to feed your body

i wouldn't have come out as fat if mom had never given me any health advice.

To weed out gymcels, Chad only!

My mom is actually extremely healthy and fit even at age 60 but there are certain things she seems to believe:
>yoga burns just as many calories as running
>protein powder is just as bad for you as steroids
>salad is as good for you as sauteed greens
>expensive cheese is good for you because it's more natural
>it's better to use machines than free weights because you can hurt yourself more easily with machines and the motion is easier

I've discussed a lot of this with her and I'm trying to get her to start squatting

Are sauteed healthier?

it's not the method of cooking, it's that romaine lettuce with vinaigrette contains far fewer nutrients than a dish of spinach or kale. I fucking hate lettuce

True
Cooking can also remove vitamin c from some veggies tho. But it also makes the nutrients in carrots more bioavailable

>it's better to use machines than free weights because you can hurt yourself more easily with machines

protein powder is as bad as steroids though, aka perfectly safe

Enjoy your heart problems in your 60s

I enjoyed this feel. Love you, ma

lol what a moron

>You're a handsome boy
>You must be getting attention from all the girls

>started lifting after moving out
>visited after adding 10kg of muscle
>she said NOTHING about it
>when I told her of my progress she went “wow, really? I don't really see it.“
WHAT THE FUCK MAMA

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>just do three sets of 15 for everything
>never bench press alone
the fuck do they feed Marines that makes them so stupid?

Crayons

based momma.

I mean, there are recent veterans who still say 5.56 was designed to wound instead of kill. Surely a little colored wax doesn't fuck you up -that- bad.

Fuck. Caught me off guard.

hey grandma that pie looks good but I'm cutting weight.
>why would you be on a diet, you only have one life enjoy it you could die tomorrow. manja!

>"hey user are you hungry? I made fish. "
sounds healthy
>sure just one piece is good I'm not that hungry.
>"sure user"
>brings out three pieces of fish, a salad, two slices of pie and puts a box of cookies in front of me half way through.

ffs grandma goblin. sometimes I cave for the pie.

Is three sets of 15 bad? It seems like a balanced option.

I fucking hate this one so goddamn much. I've come to terms with being ugly just stop lying to me for gods sake.

>before I started going to the gym
>user you need to find a gf

>after I started going to the gym
>user your thighs are too big

>Lift
>Become objectively attractive
>Doesn't matter what people say or think, everyone is helpless but to deem me
>U deemin brah? (said to cardio bunny, no homo)
>pic related

>just realised deemin sounds like demon
>mfw
>no thx zyzz

>also checkum
>catching dubs like ash ketchum
>mfw
>pic related (shit was so cash)

Is fasting all food one or two separate days a week bad?

Fuck off samefag

I too enjoy this feel

>mom is PT
>dad lifts to prevent age related degeneration
>have seen my cutting results over the summer
>even if they think there's a better way to lose weight, they'll still accommodate my diet to the best extent possible
>only complaints are "do more cardio" and "eat my cooking instead of your powder"

tfw loving family

His mother must really hate him

Name a single steroid user that had non-congenital/genetic heart issues

A single fucking one

>hurr arnie
Had the same heart problems as his non-steroid using father
>hurr zyzz
No one REALLY knows what the fuck happened but it was reported he had an unspecified congenital heart defect

So give me a name.

A single name
Of any person ever who had a steroid-based """"heart problem""""

Literally all of the old steroid users are healthy as fuck, from Zane to arnie to yates

Do more cardio, user

Before cycling 150 km
>don't overdo it user, you might collapse
It is not a race, I don't do a insane sprint in the end.
>you look too skinny
>eat something
I had a BMI >21 at that point

Woah there, calm it with the roid rage!

>Arnie
You mean his steroid using father?
No really?
And I thought it was from his mother.
Can't keep the story straight can they?

Zyzz fucking died because he had a bitches heart and decided that just doing more gear then micheal phelps while doing fuck all in the gym was the best way to go about things.
He's a lazy spoiled kid who died stupidly.

My mom always tells me I'm perfect the size I am, and wants me to stop lifting.

When I did a cycle of Test and Dbol my face puffed up a bit and I told her I was on creatine lol. Now whenever I actually use creatine she goes oh no user your face gets puffy when you take that don't!!!

My fiances parents are dumbfounded that I exercise as much as I do. (3 days lifting, 2 days cardio). I just like exercising. They can't fathom that. They're always like "what are you trying to get super skinny" as if human beings aren't supposed to move around and get exercise

you're an idiot.

they're talking about roiders and synthol oil freaks they see on TV. non-gym going women honestly believe gym-grade muscles come from doing pushups and running

>Be the only one who isn't obese in the entire living family tree
>Don't order dessert after eating and drinking a good 2000kcal at the restaurant
>"Oh my god user, you need to eat more!"
>"If you don't watch out you'll get too skinny!"

>HIIT training
>LCD display

>the only one who isn't obese
>2000kcal at the restaurant

My mother found out about Zyzz a few months ago and has become very desperate to stop me working out because she doesn't want me to end up like him.

She pronounces his name 'Size' because she thinks that is what he would have called himself, and keeps telling me 'don't be like size'. She forces me to give her a blood sample once a week so she can check for steroids. She heard from a friend that steroids make blood turn illuminated so she stares at my blood in the dark to check it.

She also fears me getting a tan or getting tattoos, and will force me to eat at least 2 spoonfuls of cream a day 'to keep me nice and white'. Fucking hundreds of extra calories I have to burn with cardio and I hate that shit. She also fucking HATES Australia now for some reason. She keeps emailing pictures of dead kangaroos to the Australian embassy. Fucking dumb bitch

Do you idiots not talk to your mothers, and do your moms just think you're fucking idiots or something, and don't respect you at all?

...

>She keeps emailing pictures of dead kangaroos to the Australian embassy.
That's awesome though

Nice story user. I don't believe it.

This
>She doesn't question what I do, just encourages me to do my best

Feels good

t. 20% bf

>balance it out
>mfw
No1 is this retarded right? its just a meme.

How did the normies find Veeky Forums?
> And why do they stay

>lifting heavy weights will make your fat hard

thanks mom

she just wants to look after you, be nice user

>t. Manlet

>protein powder? won't that give you kidney stones?

my mom is a clinical oncologist and still hits me with this one sometimes.

>Start off with a big glass of carbonated apple juice because soda is REEEEEEE
>Get a salad with some dressing as starter
>Surrender to the carbs of two slices of "selfmade bread" from the restaurant until the waiter brings your order
>Gyros, one chicken breast, one turkey breast, two skewer of pork, one beef steak, tsatsiki and a well sized portion of potatoes gratinated with cheese
>ForgivemepadreforI'mabouttogetmorestuffedthanaturkey.gif
>Share some of the potates with family, they like 'em so you guys order two more servings, one of which you eat yourself
>Drink another big glass of apple juice
>Estimate the calories a tad higher than your gut feeling just as you assume that you managed eight reps if you're not sure if you've made eight or nine

From my experience the food at restaurants is often fatter than what I cook at home. Just look at a fucking piece of her butter that you get along with your steak; never had one when cooking at home.

>going past 90 degrees in a squat is bad for your knees
Mom! Can you please get the fuck off Veeky Forums!

Yes if deadlifts are done wrong they can put large amounts of sheer force on delicate parts of the spinal column. But saying that deadlifts are "lifting with your back and as such are always bad" is fucking retarded.
Also I can't imagine a natty being able to lift heavy enough to damage their joints while still being able to complete the lift. That and the 90 degree squat thing lead me to believe that you're absolutely fucking full of it.

Shut up skank, the adults are talking

My mom is not the greatest cook, but she always had the best ingredients.
this weekend we had shrimp (pasta) and salmon (risoto). sure, it was packed with carbs, but I value my mother too much to complain about that. Hiit burned it all too

Maybe there's a chance this is real

>Sweetie don't drink store bought milk! Its filled with chemicals.

>Here.....only drink the milk I give you

obviously she's telling the truth, otherwise why would she get with an embarrassment like your dad?

>She also fucking HATES Australia now for some reason

Well they are shitty people.

Everyone hates Australia

how are they going to pretend to be independent if their mom, who they still live with, keeps acting like their mom?

Pajeet

a lot of it is cultural shit they got from their parents, who got it from their parents, who eventually got it from the old country (whichever old country they were from)
it's because in the old days people would get sick so much, and have to work so hard for so long, and tended to have so little money, that the sensible thing was to eat as much as they could
this is part of why obesity is such a problem in America, we've given so many people so much food security so fast that they haven't been able to culturally adapt as fast as things have changed, and because the age of mass media came hot on its heels some of that is sped up but some of it is actually slowed down, because distant people can reinforce each others' outdated or unobjective viewpoints

>Also I can't imagine a natty being able to lift heavy enough to damage their joints while still being able to complete the lift.
well of course not, something will snap before the lift is completed

real question, do any of you actually try to fix your mom's bad habits?
I'm currently working on getting my mom to get more calcium and vitamin D into her system so her hips don't go all wishbone, and also trying to get her to stop smoking

This