The gym witch is hogging the hex bar again

>Gym hours change
>Only open 7-7 now
>Daylight Savings coming
>tfw vampire

>braphog is a witch who let out a fart
>people start dropping dead from the wretched smell

...

>The skeletons at the gyms keep asking me for tips

Fuck OFF

>LITERALLY get one chance at death
>ONE chance
>tfw permabulkin in third circle of hell
>Forced to listen to Chad fucking sluts in second circle for all eternity

>vampire tried to do crossfit
>spontaneously combusted

>gym reception skeleton keeps tipping his hat at me
he's also been rattling his teeth in laughter at me lately. should I be scared?

>Village Lich took up the whole gym training his skeleton army AGAIN

>Bar disappears right as I'm about to hit my bench PR
>See black figure out of corner of my eye hopping away and giggling
>Turns out it was the gym mimic AGAIN

One of these days I'm finally gonna catch that bastard

>gym mummy says he can deadlift more than me
>uses wraps

>The headless horseman left his head in the squat rack
Is it rude if I move it to the side?

Quality

>Using gym shower
>Only one there
>Suddenly skeleton comes in
>Takes shower right next to mine despite being empty
>Try to avoid socket contact
>Feeling pretty uncomfortable
>Realize he's staring at me
>Turn to him
>Asks me if I'm an archaeologist
>mfw

>not sleeping in a coffin for max gains

>forgot to ask the receptionist trick or treat before i walked into the gym today
>friend who works there said that they could cancel my membership over this

>Doing Romanian deadlifts
>gym vampire keeps staring at me
It's making me uncomfortable

>Gym Frankenstein stole my left deltoid.

Who builds a monster with only one delt tho

>Can't get in gym because gym blob is on a bulk again
>Not only that, but he ate my favorite personal trainer

Honestly considering switching

I'm honestly thinking about switching, this is like the third time this has happened.

>gym zombie trying to convince me brains are full of good protein for gains
at least I think that's what he was trying to say

Gym ghost keeps possessing me on >my orm.
Its like im not even hitting it

>Stacey mirin me, "accidentally" touching my arms
>"Wow user your so muscular!"
>Get number
>Tfw on full moon pump

Think it'll be ok if I wait a month or should I show up as regular me and see what happens?

>Gym zombie chained to treadmill
>Managed to escape somehow
>Bit a cardio bunny
>Quickly spread throughout the gym
>"gains, gains, gains" growing louder
>Currently hiding on top of squat rack

Kek

Becareful, I here the tallman have silver bullets

>gym demon curses the gym
>whoever touches a barbell becomes gay
>nothing changes

>gains goblins are haunting the squat rack
>go ask the gym exercist to exercise the demons
>he anoints his barbell with protein powder and equips his finest earbuds to block out their whispers of temptation
>he goes over to the squat rack and begins loading lmao5pl8 onto the bar
>the gains goblins start freaking out and doing everything they can to drive him off
>it's no use, with his earbuds firmly nestled in place he begins to squat
>half the gym stops to watch as he bangs out 10 reps
>by rep 7 all but the strongest of the gains goblins have fled back to whatever hell spawned them
>gains goblins are losing their shit now, doing everything they can think of to disrupt his concentration
>he shrugs off their foul suggestions as easily as he would a manlet clinging to his shoulders
>he pushes through the last rep, banishing the last of the foul creatures back to the dark they came from
>gym exercist reracks the weight, sweat dripping from his forehead
>everyone who was watching congratulates him on a successful exercisom
>he waves away the praise, says it's his duty to do all he can to protect the gains of this sacred place
>goes back to the gym chapel to thank the gods of Veeky Forumsness on our behalf for the life we've been given
what a great guy

>keep confusing the gym ghost with my towel
Management said if it happens one more time I'm banned

>my protein powder and chalk got switched
>walk out of the locker room with white powder stains on my shirt and mouth
>gains goblins keep laughing at me from the squat rack

REEEE leave me alone!!!

>tfw gym is full of traps

>Giant curling in both squat racks again

I'm considering complaining to management

I love you guys

>tfw no qt.3.14 jack o lantern gf

Hold me bros

This fucking ghost at the cemetery is getting all the succubi meanwhile I’m a skeleton drink milk all day every day
I gotta get my bones rattled man

>fitizen touches the bar
>becomes slightly less gay

Just go out and carve yourself up one user

>fucking aliens taking up half the gym
>theyre all working out in jeans and a polos and are speaking a weird language

Alright bros my costume is one of those ghost costumes where you poke eyeholes in a sheet and wear it. I decided to poke armholes aswell and make it a muscle shirt. I am the "swole ghost".
will it work?

...

Looking good

great reddit maymay friend :^D
1 upvote for you haha wow
be sure to like and subscribe XD

fucking hilarious lads

>headless horseman comes through gym for a round of decapitations
>roid beasts hogging all the PUMPkins for gains so he doesn't have one on his shoulders
>gym police see that he's 5'9 without his head and sentence him to the pit

Nightly reminder that you're DEADLIFTING and eating GRAVE MOSS while FRANKENPRIME trick or treats at Stacey's haunted house.

>Gym necromancer hogging all the barbells to make a pentagram for a gainz ritual
>Arcane symbols in chalk and ballsweat everywhere
>Gym ghost rattling chains 24/7
>Voodoo doctor spilled preworkout concoction on the platform

Some days I just feel like getting a goddamn firehose of holy water and ending it all, lads

underrsted af
will smash stacey tough

1/10

>mass banishing of weremanlets to the pits
>frankenstein hogging the decline again for crunches
>vampires working out one of the rooms with the lights off
>witches brewing their chad love potions in the toilets
this time of year sucks

>manlets bite my ankles off
>drop below 6
>thrown in the pit

>rotting for this

> ate raw garlic all week
> accidentally breath in gym vampire's face
> his face melts off
> they're threatening to revoke my membership
What do /fit?/

>giant doing barbell flys again

>first time going to the gym
>it's fucking halloween
>decide to say trick or treat to the first guy I see
>he's fucking huge
>he says trick and smirks like he's about to trip me as I walk by
>instead he bends over and his gains fall off
>they travel to me but the distance makes them shrivel up because lmaocardio
>start doing this to everyone
>I'm fookin zyzzbrah on my first day
>as I leave after a successful day of working out the gym jester says trick or treat to me
>he starts tickling me so I can't respond
>the 5 second window to respond is closing
>I lose all my gains to him and he walks out with Stacy as I'm stuck at the door saying pls respond

>Manlets did a ritual sacrifice to gain 3 inches of height
>they ended summoning a zombie horde by accident
I thought the gym priests were going to crack down on this shit

underrated post