Give me something funny to say Veeky Forums

give me something funny to say Veeky Forums

“Hello, bot.”

alright now we wait

Is a super like better than a normal like?

dont reply because its a mistake and she has unmatched you already

Do you only smoke cigarettes? Or are you down for smoking bone too,?

It's better at making you look like an overly keen faggot, yea

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Yeah it's notifies the person they've been super liked and you only get 1 a day or 5 if you pay. You're like 200% more likely to match with someone you super like. I only super like the hottest girls who's profiles look real and have some stuff I can have a conversation based on. I get something like 60% match from super likes. Almost all girls respond back, and almost all my dates are from super likes simply because they're hotter lol. It's basically just an easy way of saying they're special without having to be autistic and say it. I imagine even a super like won't help much if you're simply not very good looking.

hi, would you like to be my sexbot?

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Ask her how the surgery went

...

when's the operation?

Tell her your 1RM.

Because you super liked me I’ll be sure to super fuck you in the ass

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I'M PICKLE REEEEEE LOOK AT ME MORTY I TURNED MYSELF INTO A PICKLE I'M FUCKING PICKLE RICK MORTY YOU FUCKING TWINK ASS MOTHER FUCKER SHOVE ME UP YOUR ASSHOLE MORTY SHOVE ME IN THERE NICE AND DEEP MORTY *BEEEELLLCCH* YOU'RE STILL YOUNG MORTY YOUR ASSHOLE IS NICE AND TIGHT JUST SHOVE ME AS DEEP AS I CAN GO MORTY I FUCKING PICKLE RIIIIIIIICK MOTHERFUCKERS

Very interesting. Thank you user.

>be 21
>got tinder yesteday
>swiped right on a 26 year old woman in the area
>immediately matches
>about 30 mins later
>she messages me "wats up?"

Is this a bot?

You: are you looking for great sex?”
Her:”no”
You:”well then you’re talking to the right guy ;)”

Call her gay LOL

I live life lightly. I see the positive in every negative. And vice versa. Im a social worker and drug counselor. im a public servant and I'm too humble to say that i am an hero, however many have said I saved their lives.
Im having a wonderfully, grateful and inspiring day...
I am very experienced in Buddhist meditation and so i will send you off with, "may you enjoy happiness and its causes. May you be free from suffering and its causes." Have a wonderful day. As-salamu 'alaykum!

who cares, 5 year age gap is literally no age gap

Section 56 of the 1918 Bolshevik communist legal regime was undoubtedly the most effective in persecuting those deemed as dissidents. Section 56 regarded crimes against the state or the production of the state due to its intentionally vague definitions it allowed for a vast range of crimes to be pinned on a seemingly innocent individual. Even vehement party supporters may be imprisoned simply by adhering to the rules of the state. For example, a farmer plants his flax seeds in the snow (as instructed by state production guideline manual) when the crops fail to grow the farmer is imprisoned and he is labeled a "wrecker" (a person who is purposely sabotaging the states means of production.)

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Receiving this would make me kill myself

>tfw 26 years old

fuck off youngfag

>Her:”no”
why can't women just be honest

based super fuck poster

"what's green and has four wheels?

Give up?

GRASS! I LIED ABOUT THE WHEELS!

GIMME DAT BUTT YOU FILTHY WHORE"

...

The saddest thing about kramers rascist rant wasn't the racism. Its the fact that it just wasn't that funny.

Age gap isn't only good when the woman is older, cause that's hot, otherwise it's creepy and beta to go for
younger girls

>beta to go for younger girls
the mental delusions are strong with this one

Selfies on Tinder, yes or no? Currently I have a picture of me canoeing (shows off biceps amazingly), a picture of me and my parents cat, group pic with the boys, and a solo pic of me doing a tongue out face. Havent activated myself on tinder cause too nervous

What about this girl?

Hope you’re a sucker for a good dick too

this

...

>it's creepy and beta to go for younger girls
this is straight up not true, and if you are afraid of being judge by going for young girls, let those who think it's creepy come up to you and say it but they won't. People's thoughts are worthless unless spoken or acted upon, if your friends think it's creepy just call them a virgin and watch them ape lmao

kek

That's too strong. I'm very beta looking she wouldn't like it

My dick is 7.5 x 5 too. Not big enough to pull it off

You think a girl is going to pull out a tape measure when your pants are off? If you're this insecure don't even bother with women yet. Fix yourself.

>I’m a sucker for a good sucker
Then send a picture of a lollipop

You don't think she'll know she hasn't had bigger? She fucking knows and compares you to every single guy she's ever fucked. Don't be delusional

Who the fuck cares? She’s a roastie if she’s using a hookup app anyway. You could have a 10 incher and she wouldn’t know the difference.

Man the fuck up and stop being a beta by letting insecurities stop you from having a good time.

>If you're this insecure
>posting on Veeky Forums

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tinder is aids now

is there any way to get around this fuckery?

ew no

What's wrong with that? I was going to send a lollipop afterwards

Just do what said, either go full chad or not, dont half ass it you beta

This do it user before this thread gets prunned

see

Wtf are you doing

>13 hours to respond

PANIC

That's called sexual harassment bub

why would I go for a girl 5 years older ? I mean if you want to pump and dump maybe. but if you want something longer term it would be MUCH better to have a girl 5y younger because she will hit the wall later and compared to all the other guys around your age you will always have the hot young wife not the old hag.

>hookup app
>sexual harrasment

tinder has always had this limitation

I'm to be cute instead of full on chad.

I'm a measly 5'9 6-7/10 rated on /soc/ with a 7.5 x 5 inch cock.

You can't get away with acting like Chad with my face. You get a sexual harassment charge and jailtime if you look like me.

I look beta. But then again that might mean I could get away with it and her laugh it off as "Lel he's being goofy"

Led me pud benis in bagina :DDD

Cant deal with rejection

>see the perfect woman
>out of likes
>accidentally swiping cute girl left

thats like 95% length and 70% girth breh stfu

what dating apps arent full of bots/scammers?
hard mode:can send pics

that face I make

I don't want to go to jail

you have to adjust his values for estating and measuring wrong and he is likely slightly below average.

No....it's literally that long and thick. I might be 5'8.5 more likely than 5'9. In height I was e-stating.
On my dorm floor at Michigan state I was one of the smaller guys most of the "normal" well hung guys carried 8 inchers. Even had a hot blonde girl tell me my penis was too small for her

Hey, I was in that thread.

Yeah cool nice work keep it up good job

@43410681
Don't be such a faggot

>a solo pic of me doing a tongue out face

Everything you've said in this thread is a lie. Mandingo is like 8.5, same as Danny D, and they are considered among the biggest in porn history. The smaller but still considered big dicked guys are 7-7.5.

You're probably just measuring from your asshole.

so you guys all met up naked and measured your ERECT penises with a tape ? and you arent gay ?

Hey, I was raised in upper/upper middle class America. I was placed in an environment that reinforced that I was weak, small, and stupid.

I have no confidence...but my penis? Yeah, it's 7.5 x 5 and only 2 girls have seen it. And only used it for one of them

s

o

y

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I don't go for girls 5 years younger than me because I ain't got time for kids still in college

>t. woman who is old

Pussy is pussy. 18 year old girls are thirsty for my mature 26 year old cock. Most of them have no problem with, why should I? They make the cutoff. It's legal

I have no inclination in actually dating any of them

So which football/basketball players were on the DL then?

user why was your dorm floor measuring erect penises together

did you touch each others erect penis when you measured it ?

Lawrence Thomas, Shillique Calhoun, Malik McDowell, Marcus Rush

The basketball team had Trice, Costello, Dawson, Valentine

Post pics then if you want to convince everyone so bad.

damn user you can be proud, I doubt many people can say they handmeasured the erect penis of so many talented people. have you measured anyone else famous ?

are you the ground on runescape?
because I'd like to bury my bone in you.

We just talked to each other about our penises. The 8 inch guys were a little bit smarter and had better looking and more symmetrical faces than me. Life was easier for them.

Pretty common in the Celtic-germanic upper-middle class to be well hung

user I guarantee most if not all of them were exaggerating

you said it like it was a fact so dont backpaddle now user. if they wouldve just told you you wouldnt have presented it as a fact. so tell us about the dick measuring right now.

user the only question that matters is why you got on Tinder in the first place. Did you get on it to impress a woman? Or have a good time? If the first one then you're already doing it wrong

Is it that much of an exaggeration that at a school where the average IQ is 120, for there to also be guys that are well hung on a dormitory floor? Similar people tend to gravitate towards each other so you'd expect most of my friends would be between 7-8 inches long

To have sex. I've been on tinder for a little under 1 year now and I've only had one date

yes

Post pics faggot.

And 8 inches is massive. Upper echelon pornstar big. The fact that you expect us to believe that a whole bunch of people had this because their iq was high (while defending a school only known for sports) is hilarious. What is the correlation between dick size and iq?

The backpedaling is hilarious

My brother, which is the most simple answer?

>happen to be in the presence of dozens of men in the 99.9999th percentile for penis size? That so many of them were congregated on a single floor?

OR

>Most of the guys told fibs, if you were discussing penis length , do you really think one of the guys is gonna admit to having say, a 5 incher? Or that once one or two guys said that theres were 8 inches that the rest wouldn't be prone to lying about theirs as well?

Even with your IQ correlation to penis size theory, you are far more likely to be struck by lightning that to end up in a dorm with that many dudes who are even 7.5 in length, let alone 8+

7.65 inches pulled. I just jerked off a minute ago so I couldn't get it hard

How do like that fuccboi?