Okay Veeky Forums, this is real. I got myself into big trouble and I need to disappear. There's some people coming after me and might try to kill me.
I need to injury myself. It's gotta be for 1-2 months. It can't be superficial enough that I can "walk it off", it can't be bad enough that I can never lift again. It can't look like I did it on purpose.
Suggestions?
jump down a flight of stairs and break your ankle by intentionally landing wrong
what will getting hurt help this situation at all? how does this help you disappear?
what the fuck did you do user
this might work, i just hope it don't end up with a sprain, or a really bad injury.
i was drunk at a nightclub and picked a fight with the family member of a gang. The dude was humiliated and his gang cousin was not happy that "i made his family look weak in public".
im in uni and they found out where i live. i can't go to the police or the school. i dont want to quit outright because it will look bad for my master degree. I cant let anyone know this is gang related. Im hoping I can get a forgivable medical leave and transfer to another school.
You pussy. Too soon junior
idk if you know anything about mexicans, but they don't fuck around. they don't beat, they kill.
there's a chance youre overreacting
Go to the police dumbass. Breaking your leg won't do shit
Sounds like he wanted to scare you and succeeded. Retard.
How do you know that they found out where you live?
Because they fucked OPs mom,obviously
Seriously mate, if you "don't have much time", and the first thing you turn to is Veeky Forums there is no hope left for you
bruh i live in mexico. there aint a person that'll save me here. and im not overreacting, you see what they do to people for basically nothing
Why the fuck do you think being injured will make you go to another school? This isn't the military or work you dumb fuck.
Just carry a knife on you and keep a bat by your door.
or you know a gun
>Mexicans show up by the dozen at OPs doort
>Equipped with guns and the intent to kill
>Give 'em hell OP, just keep swinging that bat
He's a spic and he's scared of other people to a point where he comes here to ask how to injure himself. He'd probably shoot himself in the face.
He should just offer the gang pictures he drew of Vegeta as payment
that'll teach you for living in a 3rd world country
Why haven't you dedicated every resource you have to moving to a developed and civilized country? Oh well you didn't and now you're fucked, hindsight is 20/20
What they're going to do is hold a machete to your knife and tell them they're going to slit your throat and kill you.
They wont. But next time they will beat you to death.
it's almost impossible to not have gang run ins here. but they major difference is disrespect, especially family. threatening is if you just screw up and get them pissed for a dumb reason. if you disrespect a member of family, they take action. since i hurt his brother, he will most definitely hurt me many times more
he will find you and put a machete to your throat but wont kill you.
Why do you think transferring to a school will save you? iLife they found you once, they can just look you up in the system and drive to fuck you up? God damn you Mexicans are stupid.
im not mexican, i just go to school in mexico. if i transfer out, id be going to one in my country.
but seriously, how can i injury myself for 1-2 months without long term damage
who the hell is not from mexico and goes to the mexican university???
>this is real
>LARPING
>/fit
for my specific line of medical research, it was a logical decision to perform a masters degree here before seeking a phd in the states.
That sucks user. But I honestly doubt you will get somebody coming to merc you. The kid you beat in the nightclub was acting out and drew undue attention to his family. Cartels dont like that. If youre seriously worried, flee the country.
can we move away from the mexican side of things and more about injuries?
theres gotta be something you did that hurt you bad enough to put you on crutches, and can be easily replicate.
my school has a strict policy about leaving. without getting into it, i'll get into why a medical leave is better. my tuition will be partially refunded, my insurance will cover my medical expenses and get me a flight home for free
basically, its "penalty free"
all i need now is an explainable injury for 1-2 months about why I would need to go home to seek treatment.
>actually telling spics to come to his country
>>>r/cuckold
Why the fuck are you going through all these loops about injuring yourself and shit you fucking retard?
GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY ASAP, BUY A FUCKING PLANE TICKET AND STOP FUCKING AROUND
>muh school
>muh research
Your life or your degree, pick one.
Holy shit you're actually retarded OP I hope they kill you so you never get near a living human.
>go to Mexico
>know Mexico has a massive gang problem
>pick a fight with some random knowing that gang problem
>won't just leave and claim a gang was threatening you
Seriously hope they fucking kill you. Really though why can't you claim you're being threatened? Don't mention the fight I doubt there's tape of it, just claim self defense and now they're after you but you're too fucking stupid to think of that. By your writing I assume you're some sort of low IQ bean.
fake a back injury
it's the american way
>risking his life for muh tuition
You're not scared enough or don't care enough about your life.
>picking fights with mexican gang members
>is studying medical
I think you should fly back now cause you never had a chance. How the fuck did you even get into a fight situation anyway?
>tfw I dont go to clubs
>tfw I dont drink
I know this is larping, but feels good something like this will never happen to me
yolo, just say sorry and take the ass beating that's coming to you, if they kill you it doesn't really matter
Find them and suck their dicks, they'll be too confused to stab you
This guy is correct OP.
I don't know how many TV shows you've watched where they juice up the drama and pretend that you're going to get 86'd over some club shit.
You're going to be fine, harden the fuck up. Worst case you can just apologise, respect and humility are important traits when it comes to gang shit, you'll be fine.
Snap a tendon deadlifting. Knocked me out of commission for 3 months.
OP did you forget you aren't on the internet to an irl Chad
>picking a fight at the club
You deserve it, Stephen
>>/adv/
Here’s what you do, you tear your rotator cuff while dumbbell benching.
You achieve using heavy weight, around your 5RM. Go for a set like you normally would and around your 3rd or 4th rep, while you are pushing, let your arm fall back while you are still holding the dumbbell. You want the dumbbell to essentially bring the dumbbell down so it is perpendicular to your ear. From there, try to bring the dumbbell back up in an aggressive manner. This should injure your rotator cuff.
Keep in mind, rotator cuff injuries will pretty much put you out of lifting for a long time, and you’ll must likely need surgery.
An easier alternative would be to drop a pl8 on your foot from squat rack height. I recently broke my toe by dropping a 25lb weight on it from about 3 feet. If you drop a 45lb plate on your foot from chest height, it should break your foot.
>people go to college in 3rd world countries
Organize a meet with the guy, apologize, take beating if he wants to beat you, never show your face around there again.
>i live in mexico
Sorry to hear that user, maybe I'll see you in one of those gore webm threads one day.
But seriously good luck, you know better how things work over there. And if you're just larping then fuck yuou.
Start carrying dude
I'm mexican, GTFOH. This country is a shithole.
This. Moron.
Fuck your knee up
Load up a bunch of weight like you're going to squat
Lift
Stand on one leg
Twist
The whole injury idea is retarded.
Bite the cunts ear off. No one wants to mess with someone who is capable of anything and thats why you are currently shitting your pants
You can't come here though paco
Canada will gladly take you though
Oh now it makes sense you're fucked lol
Them gains aren't going to help you when your dismembered body is hanging from a bridge
I've got the perfect solution
Step 1: buy a gun and ammunition
Step 2: shoot yourself with it
This isn't fitness related, get off my fucking bord
Pretend to be injured.