Shit National Geographic won't tell you

ITT we share stories about next to unknown reasons why you country got assblasted hard

>Be a Gaul
>Be Brennos
>Gaul don't allow torture
>Gaul don't ritual sacrifice
>Gaul don't do cannibalism
>Pray the old Gods
>Shit is fine and dandy, kick the ass of Germans and some weird dudes from the North
>Yearly meetings of chief of each house in Gaul to discuss politics, military, economy and settle some bullshit from peasants
>I, Brennos, a noname warrior drunk too much ale and claim me and my boys could raid and fuck the shit out of Rome
>Chiefs laughs and say "fuck off Brennos, you're drunk"
>"I will show them"
>18 of July 390 BC
>Time to raid
>Crush Roman army
>What's left of the Roman army btfo to Cerveteri and Veio
>Begin the sack of Rome
>"I like this place, i will stay for a while"
>After 2 months it's not fun anymore, ask a ransom to go be a raider somewhere else
>"Gimme 1000 golden shekels"
>"B-b-but that would barely be all we have"
>Put my sword on the balance, thus increasing the price they will have to pay
>Say out loud "Vae Victis" to the whimpy faggs
>They pay
>Go to north of Italy and settle here, rich of many shekels, foods and bitches
>TheMadmanActualyDidIt.png
>Chiefs of each house learn that and have a common solid kek
>Back to business

>Be 60 BC
>Be Julius Caesar
>Make one of the biggest selling point of my campain to be a Governor to use the 4 Legions given to the Governor role of this region to kick the Gaul's ass so bad they will serve as slave for the next 200 years
>Go as far a bribing Pompey himself
>"Ok Julius, you're in charge now"
>Payback.avi
>Not enough money anymore from bribing left and right, payback Gaul even harder and toss back "Vae Victis" to their "savage" faces at Alésia

Rest is history.

fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brennos_(IVe_siècle_av._J.-C.) it's here, but in baguette and lack alot of shit, like what happen'd to him in the end, Romans where pissed about that and burned quite some books talking about it.

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Brennos absolute MADMAN

It's all fun and game until Caesar come to vaporize your country

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Jordanes wrote a book called Getica in which he linked the goths to the Getae (dacian) tribe.He even claimed that the Getae were part of the ancestors of the gothic people.Funny shit.

I like the theory that the Gauls never even intended to sack Rome, and that they were just on their way to fight as mercenaries in Sicily when they came across a city ripe for sacking.
Who knows if thats true, but it puts everything in a different light.

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>blocks your path
>Non auro, sed ferro, recuperanda est patria

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By the heavens, what I wouldn't do to get into a room full of gorgeous naked roman women like in OP's pic.

Just lol at roman faggots having to resort to falsifying history to retain their pride. Bunch of cunts couldnt face the facts

user, your masturbation to the days long gone doesnt change the fact that gauls got BTFO hard, regardless of whether romans "re-wrote history" or not