Roastie thread

/rtg/ - roastie general
Share your roastie stories. Shit posting after a heavy gym session with my housemate. We have an epic roastie tale (posting shortly in greentext). Share yours

>Be housemate and I
>Hosting for a sports tournament for different colleges
>We study at a stemiversity
>Receiving guests from our local roastiversity
>Roasties and chads arrive dressed in the theme (nun costumes) and proceed to get extremely trashed
>Brad breaks a table by sitting on it
>Asian brad too drunk to realise it is broken so we have to move it into another room
>One roastie running around slapping everyones ass
>One guy passed out in the bath
>Only 7 o'clock

Cont.

>Chad decides to start smoking in the house, ashes on the floor
>Blonde roastie sitting on chads lap
>Force of a thousand reeeees build up inside me, not only is chad behaving as chad always does, but a roastie is encouraging his behaviour
>Chad and I end up talking, chad belittles me in front of roasties. Chad is 6'3, tfw manlet 5'10
>Friend goes upstairs to find a different chad and roastie fucking in his room, they are pushed against the door so friend can't get in to stop them
>Eventually breaks in and sends them downstairs. They are too drunk to argue
>Eventually everyone heads out to go to the club
>Some roasties fail to leave the house as they are too drunk
>Take up role of roastie wrangler and get roasties to the club
>End up chatting to some chill guys from the sports team not all is lost
>Arrive with all roasties at club, no casualties as of yet
Cont.

bump

>Herd roasties into club
>They encounter other roasties from other unis
>Go off and chat and I am left free without responsibilities
>Go get a much needed drink with housemate and chat whilst watching roasties and chads interact. They are a strange species
>Get a call from back home, some are locked outside
>Bike back home, set new pb on strava, all is good
>Let chads and roasties in
>Have a quick drink of water and head upstairs to ask if they need anything else
>See 1 chad getting a blowey joey under the covers whilst pretending not too and another chad trying to chat up 2 roasties. Leave and go back to the club
>Probably banged in my friends bed
>Watch more roastie chad interaction at club
>As night draws to a close, herd remaining people back from the club home with housemate
>House is an absolute state, nos balloons everywhere, beer spilled on the floor, roasties throwing up in the bathrooms
>Fuck it, they have a good track record of cleaning, they'll do it tomorrow
>Do once over of the house and grab some beer cans, put them in bin, grab some water and about to pop up to bed
>Really nice chad has managed to make his way back on his own, chat in kitchen, he retraced all his steps over 3 miles whilst hammered in a town he's never been to before. I was impressed
>Tell chad I have a spare hammock in my room he can crash in
>Awoken in the morning at 8am to the sound of roasties complaining that they don't have a full length mirror (they are playing sports, they don't need this...)
>Fall back asleep
>Wake up at 12. House was meant to be clean, no-one has touched anything
>Heard from my housemate that there was a slip up with the coach and they all have to leave early
>Took over 4 hours to clean the house
>House mate was out all day and when he came back told me apparently some roasties did not know how to cook bacon
>One roastie didn't want to touch the bacon because touching it wasn't haram. But was happy to eat it. And was also happy to drink...

We sit here, exhausted after all the cleaning. Jubilant that we have survived the night of a thousand roasties. The house was littered with makeup wipes, the toilet splattered with chunder and the air thick with the smell of whatever they had vomited up last night

Lesson learned. Never invite a roastie into your home

>being this autistic
>inviting people that don't respect you into your home
>allowing them to disrespect you in your home
>roastie wrangling

What the fuck is wrong with you m8?

I really don't understand why you posted this greentext, are you looking for sympathy for how pathetic you and your friend are?

You babysat some people, let them walk all over you, and then cleaned up after them. Did you even know these people or what?

Why would you share a story like this, let alone let people do this to you?

Holy shit you sound like the biggest beta

>inviting Chad's and roasties to your house ever
>being a roasty herder, ever
>biking to a club and back

This better be bait

LMAO

so u took on the bitch role and didnt get laid

ur a fag

bro why did you do any of that? If I'm not personally friends with someone I'm not going to let them party at my fucking house.

>be 27
>have female childhood friend
>Confess to her
>She says ok
>Wind up having sex
>Notice her vag has meat flaps and not aesthetic puffy Volvo
>Whatever roastie pussy or not, too late to back out
>Stick it in
>She's tight as hell
>She whinces in pain
>There is blood
>She's a virgin
>"You're my first, user"

Fit, I'm confused, if a girl has a roastie pussy but is a virgin, is she still a roastie?

hey im going to come over and trash your house and make you clean it

Is this bait?

No. Meat flaps are genetic, anyone who tells you different is a virgin. What makes a girl a roastie is if she's a whore.

I wonder if there is an evolutionary reason for them... a function?

it's bait

Veteran roasties can use betabux to purchase a new hymen. I'm serious.

Roastie general would be /rg/ ya dingus

this some girls just have em

That's a terrible story please consider the listener when you are speaking or attempting to do so.

she was lying to you, chances are you were the virgin

>I'm the virgin roastie childhood friend and she's the Veeky Forums Veeky Forumsizen who broke my hymen?

What bid be bean by this? (Sorry, keyboarb broke mibway through shit posting)

it means you are too stupid to believe she wasnt a virgin

its literally by science impossible to be a virgin roastie

Anyone save that post saved about the guy who went to a new gym and failed a warm up set because he overheard a roastie telling her friend she has a yeast infection?

...

I could not have predicted this outcome
Though it is INTRIGUING.

>believing roaster lies