Who do you think is the biggest Chad in the entirety of history? I think it's Julius Caesar.
>able to think far outside of the box to win hopeless battles
>btfo gaul adding vast amounts of land to the republic
>btfo beta political rivals
>lay groundwork for the most well known and looked-up-to empire in all of history
>had sex like, 10 times
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Either Napoleon or Genghis Khan.
>10 times
Try thousands of times
Edward I
Alexander the great
Fight me
literally who?
>A whiny faggot
>A Chad
user, please.
Khan. He actually had sex with hundreds of women, unlike Ceasar and Napoleon.
>Educated by Aristotle
>Never lost a battle
>King of the Greeks
>Pharaoh of Egypt
>Emperor of Persia
>Reached the gates of India
>Greco-Buddhism
>Hellenistic Period
>All before dying at 32
>Literally buried in honey
>Julius Cesar wept at his grave like the beta cuck he was.
Chad as fuck.
Talleyrand
Peter the Great was the tsar of all the chads
A god tier Chad.
The man with the greatest lineage and chin of all time.
>chad
...
>whiny cuckold who bitched his way into prominence
>Chad
no
Simon Bar Giora
> Led Jewish revolt against the Romans
> Executed brilliant tactical moves on the battlefield capturing countless beasts and Roman seige weapons
> Rolled into Jerusalem and instantly ended the infighting umong the various factions
> Stood naked on the ramparts of the city taunting the Romans while being fired at with ballistas and shit
> Lead from the front in every combat, motivating his men to ever greater feats
> Was in command of the Jewish forces at the final battle of the temple
Here's where it gets fishy
> Supposedly hid in the sewers after the sack of the temple, then autistically appeared in purple robes to "scare" the Romans
> Was captured and executed in Rome
Personally, I think Simon turned himself in fearing retribution against his followers, was crucified, and became the inspiration for Jesus Christ.
His story was altered and erased from history because of obvious reasons.
Gets cucked then pickles the guys head in a jar and gives it to his wife. CHAD.
Diogenes was badass
>gets cucked
>chad in any sense of the word
t. beta
>became the inspiration for Jesus Christ
What do you base this on?
Pretty sure christcucks existed and had been persecuted before the first revolt.
Andrew Jackson, easily
>christcucks
Go fuck yourself, that's literally what they were at that point in time. 1-2 century was a very fun time to be a member of that "fucking weird jewish cult."
Gaius Julius Caesar is the smartest, greatest, most beautiful man to ever have lived and he's my husbando so kindly back off
So, my theory (and trust me, it's imperfect at best, for whatever reason intuitively this just "feels" right to me)
I believe that one, the shroud of Turin is real and has been Deliberately suppressed by the church, and two, that it is infact Simon who's image was *somehow* transferred to the shroud.
Basically, his status as an inspiring leader, who by the way was widely thought to be the Messiah before his death, coupled with the nature of his sacrifice, ie. Turning himself into the Romans to stop reprisals against his people, and THEN a perceived miracle happens when the shroud is discovered in his tomb, not only created a cult around him, but jump-started the mythos of the "resurrection." Word of the miracle spreads like wild fire, and the shroud is taken to Edessa, where it is incorporated into early gnostic rituals which are the beginning of current day Christianity.
Later, when the Romans decide it's time for a state sponsored religion, they take the infant Christianity, which is rife with opposing sects and literature, and adopt it. It then becomes important to erase Simon from history in order to ensure the anonymity of the Christ.
The irony is that Simon is reffered to twice in the NT, once as Simon of Cyrene (that's an interesting passage, depending on interpretation, it could be said that Simon after being compelled to carry the cross was the one crucified upon it) and as Simon Magus, the original heretic. Sadly, in real life it was the gnostics that were closer to Christ's teachings, and the Romans were the true heresy.
Btw, I'm not disputing that *Christians* existed before the revolt, but they were closer to kabbalistic gnosticsm than today's Christians. It wasn't until the 3rd century and the cannon that everything was officially settled as far as the authenticity of the whole Christ narrative
If you haven't yet, I strongly recommend reading the Gospel of Thomas (said to be Jesus twin or *image*) and the Hymn of the Robe of Glory. Both of which, when taken in the context of the shroud of Turin which was the image of Edessa back then, makes the text very illuminating. Lots of scholars think that the Gospel of Thomas is the mysterious "Q" document, which was the inspiration for the cannoncial tales of the new testament. There's no doubt that the hymn, and gospel of Thomas are dated to 60-80ad, right in time to be the very first writings of the proto Christians.
Honestly, seems fucking retarded.
They trade one dead jew that they killed for another dead jew that they also killed but without a revolt and giant genocide behind it as a giant cover up maybe they should've changed the conflict and the story behind it than erasing a giant chunk of cults history without leaving any possible evidence?
The fuck for anyway? Like seriously, who fucking cares? Jews barely exist at that point. Were they going to complain about 6 gorillions and Hadrian? If Constantine and co knew about it maybe he should've pick another one, monotheism was hot shit back then. Besides, do you seriously think that they fabricated fucking Tacitus works. This is an interesting but a completely improbable theory. You don't erase 3 centuries of history of a widespread religion in an empire who didn't know how inflation works. It wouldn't even work probably, remember how Augustus tried to erase Mark Antony from history. Worked well and he was just trying to erase not replace.
And if you say it was done later in medieval era, then I'd have a shit tone more questions of why would anyone tried to do this at that point, instead painting JW-R wars as something else and not just PAY THE TAX KIKIES OR BE MEMED OUT.
The only thing I envy about these conquerors and warlords is that they got to fuck any woman they wanted within their territories and conquered lands.
Just think about it, being able to choose any woman you want from an entire country, being able to choose them of any age you wanted as well so you could have really young and virginal concubines do whatever you want whenever you wanted. Imagine having your own harem of the most attractive and succulent young women in the kingdom.
Meanwhile here I am, 25 years old, had sex an incredible three (3) times my entire fucking life. Shit.
>dies like a bitch to his own troop
>leaves no heir
>empire dissolves right after his death
>literal army of we wuzzers
Well, it's easier to erase a war leader and inspirational figure who has a "miracle" attached to him, rather than an entire conflict where 1 million + people died. It was politically expedient at the time since they were adopting Christianity as the official state religion. And yes, when where's only 2 or 3 primary sources for the time period, all of whom were either Roman, or under direct Roman control, it's quite easy to replace someone from history. The truth is in the texts, but hidden deeply and veiled in allegory and mythos. Not to mention in the 3rd century when the church doctrine was being finalized, it was all on behalf of the Roman Catholics anything apochryphal was considered heresy, and you were killed for even having it in your home. Pretty easy to suppress when your life is in danger.
Alexander is the only acceptable answer. He was too perfect for this world.
TIMOTHY DEXTER
Alexandr Nevsky, because why not
>be 16
>already a chad warlord defending his country
Agreed, shitsux man. Thankfully, I know how to get prostitutes off the internet, so that takes the sting off a bit.
>limping back from Egypt and Russia in humiliating defeat and being exiled to a pathetic existence on St. Helena
Those are not the characteristics of a chad.
but he was gay LOL
>Go fuck yourself, that's literally what they were at that point in time
I don't think you know what "cuck" means
Alexander of Macedonia! And also check this out!!
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I Like you Man . Check this out:
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Henry II de Plantagenet
>Born a random French Count owning a small ass land parcell
>Take over half of France
>Then take over England and become king
>Son is badass crusading king Richard the Lionheart
>Dynasty retains the throne of England for the next three centuries
>not posting the biggest chad in history
Penetrated hundreds of thousands
It's obviously Leon trotsky. He formed the red army out of nothing and btfo over 10 countries that tried to invade.
nobody hates jesus christ more than the jews, your theory is needs more education
Henry VIII
The first Chad of all history is obviously Brennus.
Gotta be Genghis Khan, although a lot of his sexual activities probably weren't that voluntary
Does anyone have a picture of what 1,000 pounds of gold looks like?
>be robin olds
>be world war 2 ace fighter pilot
>go from lieutenant to major in a millisecond
>marry hot 10/10 superstar
>later in Vietnam single-handedly unfuck the 8th tactical fighter wing.
>be a revered USAF fighter pilot for the rest of aviation history
Robin olds is the most chad of all pilots to ever exist.
> tfw ywn will never have 16 million descendants
bump
BUMP!
Atila the Hun, absolutely BTFO of the Romans
Fucking Patrick McGoohan
Thanks mate. That killed me.
>Plays with toys instead of procreating with his wife
>Practically throws her away in a distasteful manner to get a peasant girl from the baltics
>Builds his autistic capital in a marsh on enemy territory
>Defeats and reverses all Swedish victories and achievements in one day
>Doesn’t use the military as an excuse to run away from women
t. butthurt swede
>shit in a theater
my fucking sides, how was this guy not remembered as some demented old man, what his philosphical contribuitons besides shitting on other philosphers [spoiler] and theaters [/spoiler]
so fucking chad he didnt need children only his high t caused by generations of inbreeding