Let's play a game Veeky Forums.

DeathDog
DeathDog

You will be transported to June 1st, 1000 AD.
You will retain all of your current memories and knowledge.
You will arrive in perfect health however you will still be vulnerable to illness.
You can choose 2 languages (like Greek or Latin) and 1 skill (blacksmithing, archery, etc.) to learn automatically.
You must select which city or province you will arrive in.

What will you choose, what will your goals be, how do you plan to obtain them and why?

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All urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamicisation_of_Xinjiang

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

/qst/

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

1 Persian

2 Arabic

Gunsmithing

Visit Baghdad

I’m gonna fuck shit up

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

OP, even with this I'd still be fucked

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

1 Old Norse

2 Latin

Cartagropher

Visit Hydeby

gonna lead the first viking settlers to north america and south america and colonize it 500 years before the spanish and portugeese arrive.

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Methshot
Methshot

Hebrew, Latin
Chiseling
Grand Canyon

time to troll the future by chiseling a bunch of biblical quotes in the rock before succumbing to the elements

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

Greek and Latin.
Be a soldier of Eastern Roman Empire.
Fight and kill bulgarians together with my emperor, Basil.

Lunatick
Lunatick

Mandinka and Dyola

Balafon player

Becoming a legendary Balafon player in the Mali Empire.

Firespawn
Firespawn

Latin, Greek. Personal armed fighting. Arrive in Rome.
There'll be an abundance of men to speak with, while I learn contemporary languages, and can, hopefully, become a notable intellectual. Even if I'm unable to reinvent a million things, just being as literate as I'll be could get me a position in the Church. Ideally, I can become an adviser in a good royal court.

FastChef
FastChef

1, Nahuatl. 2, Spanish
Skill: blacksmithing
City: Tenochtitlan, year 1515.

Basically I'd show up, play the part of the pale Thunder God and get the Aztecs ready with metal weapons to resist the Spanish. Fuck with history a lot

TreeEater
TreeEater

Old spanish and latin
Skillfull on geography or chemistry
Visit the kingdom of Aragon
I'd expell the muslims on spain and reconquer past roman territories in north africa and Italy.
Bring back the western roman Empire baby!

WebTool
WebTool

Languges: Turkic and Persian
Skill: Equestrian skills (archery secondary)
Samarkand

Serve in the many mercenary bands and adventure around the area to participate in
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamicisation_of_Xinjiang
Fight and beat up Buddhists, Get QT iranic slave girls, tons of money, get famous and maybe an award from the Caliph.
Travel to China and India or the Near East, etc.

Playboyize
Playboyize

Old English and Norman French
Soldiering
Caen
Try and and become a Norman knight then travel to England and try to establish a knightly system so that the English can have some damned cavalry, for both Canute and Willy

Skullbone
Skullbone

1, English 2, German
Nuclear Physics
1941, Los Alamos.
Gonna fuckin rekt those gooks before they even Pearl Harbor.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

Are you retarded? The Mali Empire and the Balafon didn't exist in June 1s, 1000AD.

cum2soon
cum2soon

I think that's why he may be legendary, as in he only exists in we wuz legends.

Techpill
Techpill

Latin and Ancient Greek

Blacksmithing

Rome

Start the industrial revolution. Become an industrialist, venture capitalist and public intellectual

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

Location: Italy, Venice maybe.

Language 1: Contemporary Italian, Venitian I guess?
Language 2: Contemporary Latin.

Skill: Master's degree in Chemistry, thanks.

Although reliant on a few technologies, I figure chemistry is a good choice. Italy at the time had a big glass making industry, so I'd be able to get some laboratory glassware made up, of varying quality. Coppersmiths would be useful for me too. One problem would be a supply of reagents, but as long as I could identify local natural sources, I should be able to synthesise the main stuff.

With that, I could do all kinds of shit. Make modern fertilisers, introduce distillation of alcohol and water, set up a soap factory, make explosives.

Distillation of alcohol would probably be my first aim though. That'll get me rich enough to pursue other things. Fertilisers will probably help too. Soap and distilled water would improve the living conditions of people, but it probably will only get me a good reputation.

Explosives, I'll probably keep under my belt for the time being. I could imagine people reacting with suspicion and calling me Satan or some shit, but the others are all good, health-giving things, so I think I'd be safe with them. But if I get into a tight spot, I'll rain down God's judgement on a motherfucker, I swear.

I could probably also help out with iron working with some of my knowledge. I don't know actual metalworking or engineering, but I would know eg. the relationship between carbon and steel, as well as adding other things like silica, etc. so I could at least push metalsmiths in the right direction.

All those ventures are already probably enough for one lifetime's work, so I'll leave it at that.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Old English and Old French
Alchemist
Winchester
Demonstrate how to make gunpowder and explain the significance of it at the royal court of Æthelred
observe as Æthelred the unready becomes Æthelred the ready
BTFO Swein Forkbeard's viking invasion with cannons
Invade Normandy with newfound cannon technology
Become rich from royal patronage for new invention
the good life

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Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

This, but pretend I'm God and humiliate the Christian Church. Then I'd fuck off to America and make America Great again.

Emberfire
Emberfire

Like you could forged the tolerances required for steam

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

Mandarin

Latin

Gunsmithing

Kaifeng

Enter the service of the Emperor and get rich. Teach Portuguese to some chinks. Return to Portugal, which doesn't exist yet and make it independent. Tell my nobles everything about the Fifth Empire, which eventually comes true

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

you forget that metalworking and chemistry isn't advanced enough to either mass produce cheap steel (necessity for industrial revolution) or to make steam engine powerful and resillient enough to withstand the pressure required to power a machine or locomotive

Nojokur
Nojokur

If you're a chemist then you'll want to make purple dyes, the colour purple was astronomically expensive back in the day

Spamalot
Spamalot

Have you read "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"? The protagonist is a foreman or superintendent at a weapons factory before he is time-traveled so he gets to do all sorts of cool shit in his alchemickal wizard's tower, much to the consternation of Merlin, who is a fucking joke

Your plans remind me of him. You might get a kick out of it. It's twain, so it's funny too.

happy_sad
happy_sad

Oh yeah... And it was made from rancid cockle shells or something. Nasty shit. A lot of traditional dyes were pretty fiddly to make.

w8t4u
w8t4u

Iberia
Centre of western Roman Empire
Hmmmmm

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massdebater
massdebater

Nope, never read any Mark Twain, he's not real big here in Australia.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

Because they taught him in school I only ever bothered to pick him up years later. He writes about Australia some in his travelogue "Following the Equator". Helped me get more interested in your country. What does "sheep-dip" smell like? Can you eat it?

Evilember
Evilember

Get dropped off in baghdad learn Arabic and how to make an ak47. That way I can speak and defend myself. I would bring modern physics and math to the house of wisdom. And then I would set up the internet, so even when the Mongols come my teachings would survive. This would set humanity forward about 1000 years.

StonedTime
StonedTime

invent the ak47 and internet in 1000 AD
with what fucking infrastructure and metalworking/chemistry, smartass?

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

What does "sheep-dip" smell like? Can you eat it?
What?! No, it's a chemical you mix together with water, and you pen up the sheep and drive them through a run that goes into a trough of the stuff, so they're forced to jump into it to get over the other side, out of the pens.

It's for maggots and stuff. Fly struck sheep is a major problem here in Australia. I get the impression it's not such a big deal elsewhere, but we had to crutch sheep every year on the farm, which is shearing off the wool around the arse of the sheep and treating them if there were maggots already eating them.

So yeah, it smells kinda bad, but maggots eating into live sheep is a lot worse.

Spamalot
Spamalot

gross

I saw a really long video of Norwegians making a sweater from scratch (really from scratch) and when the shearer gave the sheep a couple of cuts -- which I guess you expect to do with a writhing animal -- I was disappointed that nobody applied any dip to it. I thought "poor sheep"! Maybe in Norway the flies aren't such a problem, like you said. Twain had never heard of it and AUS is hardly the only place where sheep are sheared. In the US we have shearing festivals on old estates but I was much too young to take note of the process.

massdebater
massdebater

Lets change the rules

What scientific innovations would you be able to "discover" in year 1000 that we all use now

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

Gravity and kinematics

hairygrape
hairygrape

For cuts, it's something different. We used a styptic powder, basically looks like flour, but people used to use like a thick tar/paste before the powder was invented.

Methnerd
Methnerd

The balafon has been played since the 12th century=1100AD-1200AD, so yeah he is retarded because he will need to live more than 100 years to finally play his instruments.

Emberburn
Emberburn

I think that paste is the stuff I read about. Maybe Twain was confused, the term was multipurpose, or the process has changed.

Turns out styptic isn't something you'd even need to invent in 1000 AD. "A detailed description of a substance called alumen occurs in Pliny the Elder's Natural History.[5] By comparing this with the account of stupteria given by Dioscorides[6], it is obvious the two are identical. Pliny informs us that a form of alumen was found naturally in the earth, and calls it salsugoterrae."

So it seems likely that they'd have that too in 19th C. AUS.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

Old French, Latin
Monk in Knight's Templar
Jerusalem, ~1170
Build up my influence in royal court, my knowledge of the future will help with this. Then secure King Guy's trust, and properly repel Saladdin's attack in 1187. Saladdin would probably try one last time in his life before he became too old.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

old norse and some meme native american language they speak in canada
sailing
team up with leif and clear up any misunderstandings with the natives so shit doesnt go to hell

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

Nigga how you going to live to 170?

Supergrass
Supergrass

This. The game is only fun if I get to live forever. What good is changing history if I don't get to see how it turns out?

Booteefool
Booteefool

This would be solid. The rest of the world would fear the Nordic/Indian half breed. Breed out the alcoholism and the red warrior stays mighty.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

The fuck you getting 170 from? The timeframe I'm considering is around 1170 to 1200

Emberburn
Emberburn

OP said you will be transported to 1000AD and you're describing events in 1170AD

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

Old English and Old Norse

Gunsmithing

Winchester, England.

I'd arm the Anglo-Saxons with guns and help them kick out the D*nes once and for all. I'd warn them of the 1066 invasions and if I was still alive I'd help them repell William and Harald

DeathDog
DeathDog

Latin and Old german. Bavaria. I learn to be a scribe. Live a comfy life and fuck one of my ancestors probably.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

An easy invention is the press

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Supply line management and accounting

Lunatick
Lunatick

Personal hygiene aka build sewers so people stop shitting in the streets

Spamalot
Spamalot

Advanced Algebra & Calculus

w8t4u
w8t4u

Wow you must be smart

hairygrape
hairygrape

Nah, only some knowledge from engineering.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

Smarter than you Achmed

Flameblow
Flameblow

I'll pick whatever the local language is, plus Latin, and for my skill I pick sorcery. I'll make a living as a travelling sage / entertainer until I can attract a rich patron thru rumours of my wonder-working, then use his money to propagate the germ theory of disease (I'll make a microscope to show people the teeming hordes of plague demons that live in water) and change history dramatically by causing a massive population boon.

SniperWish
SniperWish

enjoy getting burned at the stake

Techpill
Techpill

He has mastery in playing it, I'm sure he could talk an instrument maker thru the process of making one. He would be more than just a famous player, he'd be the inventor, too.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

In 1000AD? Who's going to burn me? Besides, I would stick to the backwoods and avoid major cities for fear of disease anyway, doubtful I'd come to teh attention of any priests going around doing magic tricks for peasants.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

Easy in concept, hella difficult in execution.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

Ooga booga rockstop

Methnerd
Methnerd

What possible use would that be, tho?

Evilember
Evilember

not using your guns to lead the Welsh in a glorious reconquista of their island
CYMRU AM BYTH

Emberfire
Emberfire

What possible use would that be, tho?
Let me guess, american?

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

Just someone who doesn't see what use someone in 1000AD has for calc. Even after it was actually invented it took hundreds of years to be useful for anything.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

It paves the way for complex engineering and even more advanced math among other things...

farquit
farquit

Establish the Welsh empire. They first conquer the island of great Britain, then Ireland, then all of northern Europe. They slowly expand throughout all of Europe and then using the resources build a vast navy and colonise the world.
The mighty Welsh empire

askme
askme

I'll just wear this shirt, go anywhere and rule the world.

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Inmate
Inmate

Okay. How is that useful in 1000AD, you dimwitted faggot? What engineering projects will it help with, building castles and cathedrals? They did pretty well without it but okay it might help a but I guess. But if engineering is all you cared about, you should just take the recipe for concrete instead. Advanced math? Waste of resources for a medieval society.

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

Whatever the most scenic, hospitable part of New Zealand is. Polynesian, on the off-chance that they were there by 1000. Only need survival skills. Objective is live quietly till I feel like an hero

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

Huh, that sounds like the last game of Crusader Kings I played, Only I started as the Isle of Man so I could be the Empire of Man.

... I'll show myself out.

Snarelure
Snarelure

Wow that's pretty dark. Just take "polynesian-style boat building" as your starting skill and try to reach China or something.

WebTool
WebTool

Languages, church latin, english
Skill, painting
City, Oxford

Enroll to become a priest that's it, I'm not worthy to change God's plan, might become a monk if too many people start dying around me though

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

building castles and cathedrals?
Yes? I mean, it could be applied to improve building techniques in general.

Advanced math? Waste of resources for a medieval society.
I am thinking about the future, imagine what would have been discovered by now.

DeathDog
DeathDog

the year is 1000 tho

TechHater
TechHater

Most math discoveries postdate the computer tho. You'd do better introducing them to germ theory, or even by introducing better machine tools so they can develop other technologies more rapidly. the math will be discovered as its needed, ad hoc measures can be very effective in the interim.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

blacksmithing
yeah because gold is such a good weapon for metal
I read that as soldering and thought you were gonna make plate armour in 1000

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

not ignoring at least part of OP when replying

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Stupidasole
Stupidasole

But the machinery for corning gunpowder doesn't exist yet, nor does the metallurgy for effective cannons exist yet
the only thing you could achieve was the Steam toy spinning silk

Illusionz
Illusionz

Not that colossal faggot, but you do realize they have iron ores in Mexico, right? They didn't know to extract them, but they had all the technology they would have needed to do so had some kindly time traveler shown them how.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

The Chinese had gunpowder before 1000AD, presumably they had some method to manufacture it. And even if not, then making such a machine would not be beyond medieval technology, as is proven by the fact that they did make such machines once they found about gunpowder.
Rome
Idk, if you have the right set of skills you could industrialize ancient Rome. Ofc the main problem is getting the power to do so, but even via example you could go a long way. The Roman state would be sure to take notice if some private citizen built a railroad or something, no matter how crude it was.

Booteefool
Booteefool

it already exists tho, where else do you think all the oil comes form
So just tell people to pave the roads

King_Martha
King_Martha

You might be right...

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

He obviously means the printing press, whihc also existed at the time, but he probably actually meant the moving type printing press, which is only half the equation to mass literacy (you also need paper) so he's wrong anyway.

Methshot
Methshot

Old French and Old English.
Gunsmithing
Normandy

Try to avert a violent invasion of England, but still have William take the throne.
Arm Normans
Keep Old English around
Teach William's stupid fucking son some manners
Teach people to wash their fucking hands
Warn the people of the plague
Emphasize the necessity of eating meat, grains, and vegetables and not have a retarded diet.
Because i'm a giant fucking Romeaboo teach how to build aqueducts.
Spend time learning Latin
Record events, write basic chemistry books, medical books, and sustainable(for the time) farming techniques.
Die at like 80 or 90 in a nice house in either southern England or Northern France.

TreeEater
TreeEater

READ NIGGA
machinery for cornering gunpowder
KEY WORD: Cornering
that's what stops it separating into constitute parts and thus more effective
You need good metallurgy to stop the cannon just breaking apart

Snarelure
Snarelure

you know you can print on cloth as well right
in which case it's flanders you want to stay

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

How complex is this machinery, and could it be made using medieval technology? I'll give you a clue: yes, yes it could.

TechHater
TechHater

Sure and clothing rags were pounded down into thin sheets and server as the usual source of paper before the paper mill, its just not even close to the cheapness and quality of wood pulp paper.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

you're in flanders, cloth is cheaper there

Soft_member
Soft_member

mediveal technology
Well ofc it's mediveal technology because the end of the mediveal era is the rise of the gunpowder era, but you're an alchemist not a blacksmith

happy_sad
happy_sad

Cheaper than wood pulp?

Bidwell
Bidwell

He's a time traveler, not a blacksmith or alchemist. He can google this shit before he goes, its not actually hard to do once you know how to do it. You could probably have made a working canon even back in Roman times, the technology was never developed because ofc no gunpowder and because chinks had shit for metallurgy.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

he selected alchemy as his skill

MPmaster
MPmaster

Imagine doing that and actually reproducing the tech. This shit coloured shirt would be reveared more than the shroud of Turin.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

Well he's an idiot. But he can still google how to make gunpowder before he goes.

iluvmen
iluvmen

Old Czech
Latin

Caligraphy

And i'm gonna make our first history book and my name will be renown for millenia

SniperWish
SniperWish

Good luck having your book survive. You know how many 1,000 year old books there are from northern Europe? Maybe you should be an engraver or something.

hairygrape
hairygrape

I pick Latin and Italian Vulgar as languages and Divine Magic as my skill
I arrive in Rome
I'll call myself the 2nd coming of Christ returned after one millennium
I sort of look the part already what with the long brown hair and the beard
I plan to rally Christendom and Europe as a whole under my banner and after defeating the Muslim menace I shall lead them towards the new world which will not be called America but Alexandria in my honor
I can be Alexander Christ right? After all Jesus was just a name he was given

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

This is the best answer

askme
askme

Czechia
Northern Europe
hm

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

Is Czechia southern Europe in your mind?

SniperGod
SniperGod

Central/Eastern

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

If it's north of the Alps, it's northern Europe.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

Galician and ocitan, i would be a troubadour and fuck noblewomen from court to court around europe

Techpill
Techpill

t. Italian

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

If only

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