Are apologies emotionally manipulative?
Are apologies emotionally manipulative?
they are when they are not desired or requested
Silence is better.
One should act in way never having to apologize in the first place.
And yes, its manipulative
contrition does not necessarily exculpate the wrongdoer nor take the consequence out of his action
obligated to forgive
Those of good character are merciful. Those are bad character are not. Resentment and spite are ugly things.
I think an apology is needed if you manipulated someone in the first place. If you did harm someone, verbally or physically with no intent in doing so, a mere "excuse me" will be good enough. An apology something bigger, like, you lied to someone and he discovered it. If you want to regain his/her trust, you 'eed to formally apologize by bowing to a 20° angle and say "I'm really sorry, please forgive me for my shitty move". Or something like this idk
Depends on how you use them, you *can* use them as a manipulation tool, but mostly (at least as far as I can tell) common people use them legitimately.
*kills your family*
"Hey sorry senpai I just couldn't resist"
You can forgive, or not. Forgiveness does not necessarily preclude punishment, but it matters very little if you have the guy hanged by the state with anger or cold determination or nothing at all in your heart. The murderer and your family are still dead. You might move on and you might not, but that doesn't really relate to how you felt before.
So you agree apologies are disgusting. People tend to apologize expecting you to forgive them. They're trying to make you forgive them, which is what a "good" person would do. If you want to forgive someone, you could do it on your own without their act compelling you to.
I actually think it's no more or less manipulative than any other interpersonal interaction. Strangers only ever want something from you, so there is no reason to hold "forgiveness" separate from other parts of the give and take of an interaction with them. For family, friends and acquaintences the principle is the same, even though you don't generally view those relationships as transactional because there's more on top that calculus is still going on under the surface.
What's the alternative?
Are you saying people never make mistakes?
There are mistakes and there are choices, a mistake is easy to forgive(depending on how grave, of course) a choice on the other hand is much harder to forgive and often leaves a mark on any relationship, if it dosent kill it rigth off, that is.
Fucking retarded, if sorry isn't good enough or you don't think they're sincere then don't accept the apology.
You're just a limpdicked fag user. Fucking weeb.
None of that has anything to do with whether apologies are manipulative or not, brainlet. You're just saying you don't need to accept it.
Anyone who hears that is obligated to forgive
Shadow Maya, that's dumb as bricks.
Nah. They can apologise but that doesnt mean you have to forgive a single thing.
Op's pic is very japanese but that's it.
They're meant to be a genuine expression of regret, "i know i did something wrong to you, and i won't do it again."
A very honest interaction which has no more potential for manipulation than any other.
Cut your head off faggot.
it's another the japanese are all autistic and don't understand interpersonal relations episode
Doesn't matter how heartfelt if the act is manipulative by its very nature. Blow your brains out, you angry tard.
it's a "autist judges an entire country by an excerpt from a video game" episode
Being sincere doesn't mean it's not manipulative.
False. Good is in no way entitled to be merciful. Lack of mercy doesn't correlate directly to evil.
An absolute good being would just make the apologizing guy serve his punishment anyway, or execute him if that's the punishment warranted by the magnitude of the wrongdoing.
meant obligated, not entitled.
No, if you apologize you mean you were a jerk and that the other person didn't deserve what you made. You are not influencing anyone, just being humble and not a egoic.
I may still be mad at you after you apologize, but damnation, I'll be mad at you long after if it's insincere or not offered at all.