How socially autistic is Veeky Forums?

Thanks for the chuckle.

I bitch slap her.
Only my paying clients are allowed to touch.

At this point it's too easy to not fuck up. Make some ambiguous shit like a wink and a smile or a hand wave that could've been for the person behind you or some other shit.

girls did that to me in high school (bullying) and I just looked down or went back to what I was doing. How beta is that?

>"who dared you to do this?"

>"Alright where are the hidden cameras."

BACK THE FUCK OFF?!?!

well i'm being raped so i'd tell her to stop and then leave

>let's bully user by giving him a massive boner and showing sexual affection, that'll really piss him of teehee!
Those girls were not very good at bullying.

Grab her and stick my tongue down her throat.
>she objects to this!
"You started it, deal with it."

They were probably into you and your autistic mind didn't realise it until years later when you were in bed

That is sexual harassment and it is 100% not okay. I would make this point very clear by violently raping her in return.

I got bullied so much, whenever a girl would flirt or mess with me I automatically thought she was making fun of me or trying to hurt me somehow. I missed a lot of opportunities.

Grab her and slightly squeeze her neck while I initiate a kiss myself. After some time hooking up tell her "we need to get back to my place I have something to show you" then give that's same big sarcastic wink back when she asks "what"

I'm a weird awkward sperg and the older I get, the worse it gets.

>proceeds to give her a bowl of eggs

Grab her ass
Toss her over my shoulder
Find the nearest semi private area to dick her down, or get a bj in.

...

How do i see her wink if she kiss cheek?

>never gonna make it

what are you, a fucking faggot?

Somebody please post the screencap of this national treasure of a thread

Lol, what a loser you are

Spoken like a thirsty beta.

If I'm in a room alone she is getting raped, just saying.

One of 2 things would happen

>she's gross or fat or im just not interested or drunk enough (this is the likely option)
>i brush her off and she keeps at it so i get mean until she gets the idea

or
>shes really attractive and/or im very drunk and/or im feeling decently confident enough so as to not puke spaghetti on her
>make out for a little bit
>start overthinking things
>start worrying about being seen as a manwhore by people around us
>start worrying about getting it up if we bang (even though i have a big pee pee)
>come up with an excuse why i have to leave for a sec (close my tab, run to the bathroom)
>run away to my home and hate myself

well, i have a gf now so if anyone tried that now id just tell her to fuck off, unless i was really drunk then i would enjoy the attention for a few because i feel neglected sometimes

i would put her feminine penis in my mouth and suck it.

I have literally never been in anything resembling a sexual situation and the thought of it completely terrifies me. I imagine I'd panic and flee. Thankfully it'll never happen because I'm a tremendously unattractive person. My face is covered in acne scars, I have no chin and a thin wispy beard that isn't capable of hiding it, my eyes are perpetually gooey and are too close together, my mouth is disturbingly small in comparison to my giant head, my hair is super gay looking, my hips are too wide, I'm doughy and have no muscle definition" and I constantly smell like hotdogs despite never eating them. I'm also fat, but I'm losing weight. Ultimately I used being fat as another shield against having to interact with women, but I got sick of being tired and slow all the time, so I started going to the gym. I'm worried about what'll happen if I stop being fat, though.

This milf at my wife’s work didn’t know I was her husband. Sitting at the bar. She’s a bartender. Said milfs comes over to me and grabs my dick and says like I saw you watching me or some shit. So I talked to her a bit then she was showing me nude pics on her phone. At one point my wife came over and milf got nervous and was like oh they’re muscle car pics and switched her photos really fast to show me. At that point she turned it to my wife and managed to flip back to her titty pic showing my wife her tits. It was epic. Before she left I got her number.

I don't understand what you are getting at?

are you having a stroke

what the fuck is happening to your face?

Honestly, I can pretend to be alpha and type what I think I would say, but I honestly would freeze up like I normally do in most social situations.
So I guess you could say I'm pretty autistic.

Fuck off, I'm married.

...

>wakes up

>stop it please

>cums

underrated

>"I have something to show you"

Your collection of anime figures covered in cum?

>Y-you too

"Yeah she's probably just joking, I'll just play it safe and laugh. It's too early to say she wants me yet."

...

probably laugh

>tfw this is the reason I am still a virgin at 24
Please help how do I stop this

I panic over the fact that she might realize I have a small dick (7.99x5.99") and instinctively hit her in the face

You sound like an amazing man who your wife is very lucky to be with. Im sure her father imagined exactly you sitting at a bar having your dick fondled by a whore when he dreamed up his daughters future husband. Keep on being a great person.

Make a move. Simple as that.

Worst case, oh user I don't like you that way. Hurts your pride but whatever we all deal.

Best case lose your virginity

I'm a 26 year old kissless virgin. I could have a girl do this, or tell me directly that she wanted to go out with me/have sex with me and I'm sure that I would still reject it from the fear of having no experience and humiliating myself. In fact if a girl did this I'd probably first cum in my pants.

Also I have a large dick so someone grabbing my dick playfully might actually be surprised by that

my penis is like 1.5 inches soft, I literally go paranoid of someone touches while soft

>buddy tells me stories about how his gf just likes fondling his dick/balls when they're in the bath, cuddling etc
My dick is approximately 2.5" soft and like four and a half hard, on top of that I have phimosis. I'm a KHV at 23, I don't even want to go to a hooker with that shit. I can flirt with women no problem but I can't bring myself to ever try to hook up with one because it would be so fucking embarassing; on top of all that I live in a pretty small town so I fear that my friends would find out in a matter of days, even if they don't tell me. Being a dicklet is suffering.

Maybe you guys can help me out. I work at an investment bank in NYC and have a really cute coworker. We’re both going to deer valley coincidentally at the same time next week. One day we’re going skiing and going to the hot tub after.

Now, I’ve been lifting for 2-3 years, and while I’m not crazy fit, by normie standards I’m Adonis. How do I convert this into sex?

must be nice being super wealthy

Why you posting this cracky wannabe?

You just touch her a lot, flirt with her and when the timing is right (presumably when you're in the tub) you kiss her, when the date is about to be over you just invite her over to your place.

T-thanks, I love you

Eh it’s alright. I spend most of it on rent, staying the most fashionable in my office, buying drinks for my friends that can’t afford them, and donating the rest, because I’m dead inside anyway from a vapid life of profiteering off the average American.

Yea but what if she says no or rejects my kiss? I usually only hook up with girls who I’m positive won’t reject me. This girl is a total flirt and I don’t like the idea of rejection :(

kek

lmao, make way for the supreme gentleman

I-it’s okay user there will be more chances

Why is it that now im fit girls tend to fill in my social blanks with their effort? What I mean by that is im usually too autistic to go in for the kiss and shit like that. Now theyll usually make the move for me. Even one girl told me that she thought it was hot that I was respectful enough not to rush to sex when in reality i constantly wanted to fuck her brains out but i was too autistic to know how to ask for it. Back then I wouldve just been friend zoned. Are the silent Chads just as autistic but we think theyre cool because they look good?
>pic related

>Yea but what if she says no or rejects my kiss? I usually only hook up with girls who I’m positive won’t reject me. This girl is a total flirt and I don’t like the idea of rejection :(
If she likes you then she won't reject you. If she doesn't like you then you won't have a chance to sleep with her in the first place. Knowing that, what reasons do you have for not making a move on her? You miss all the shots you don't take, if you fear rejection then why take the risk of going on a date with her in the first place unless you just want to make small talk all night?

>people always complain about the double standard with men vs women for this shit
>with all the sexual harassment/assault stuff lately, this is even more prevalent
>men get furious that these men are being taken down by sometimes jsut accusations, while women can do physical shit to men and get nothing

>this guy says he would tell the girls they dont get a pass to sexually assault him, which seems like common sense
>you call him a supreme gentleman loser

WEW really makes you think

>Why is it that now im fit girls tend to fill in my social blanks with their effort?
You said it yourself, because you're fit. People more readily associate good looks with good traits. By no other merit than being fit (and therefore attractive) women will convince themselves that you are a better person than you are simply because they WANT to like you. The difference between being assertive and creepy is how attractive you are.

Good point. I suppose I am also worried about the ramifications of trying to sleep with a coworker especially given recent news of sexual harassment in work related settings. That said she is also my level at work and slightly older than me.

If you're worried about stuff like that and if your office has policies etcetra against relationships between coworkers then you probably shouldn't try fucking her in the first place. Either way, if you decide to stick to your plan then just feel her out, if the date goes well, she's in a good mood, laughs at your stupid jokes and responds well to touching then go for a kiss, if she responnds well to that then you can take things further. She already thinks you're attractive enough to go on a date with you, I doubt she would throw a fit over an unwarranted kiss.

bottom line is let her make a move on you, dont do it yourself

>grab her by her face and throw her bitch mug to the ground
>PAY RESPECT TO YOUR MASTER
>trying to steal my precious seed
>trying to steal my precious gains
>not today roastie
>proceed to contort into ball and suck own dick
>stupid bitch sits there like the useless ROASTIE she is
>all women are obsolete
>bro comes into room and we both swap gains, mirin'
>call the police and get her arrested for sexual assault
fucking roasties

You gotta learn to not give a shit. I mean by 23 you should have grown out of this baby dick syndrome by now.

Chicks have no idea what dick size is average. And why would a hooker care about your cock size? She sees different cocks all day. You gotta get some self confidence.

Started out alpha, but each line got more autistic

That's for marriage, you heathen

How do you go from 0 to 100 in terms of self-confidence though? I know it's not SUPER small and that you can still have normal, functional sex with it but I can't fathom how fucking awkward it would be to lose my virginity, on top of that girls talk so much my entire social circle would know about it and there goes the rest of my chances. I feel like my only shot is finding some really nice girl and have her put up with my inexperience in secret.

leave you drunk bavarian

My dick is 1.5 inches soft and barely 5 hard and I've never gotten laughed at for it. It's only bad in your head, once you get over your own insecurity dick size stops mattering.

>unless i was really drunk then i would enjoy the attention for a few because i feel neglected sometimes
dude, you're better than this. act like it.

The vast majority of chicks can't cum from vaginal stimulation (cock in pussy), the best way to get a chick off is really good foreplay, followed by eating her pussy, and then fuck. Most guys only last a few minutes anyway.

Honestly, you best bet if you are really worried about local chicks knowing your a virgin. Bang a bunch of hookers, gotta learn what your doing in the sheets. First time you drove a car you really didn't know what you were doing, but with experience you became confident, sex is the same way.

Lose your virginity to a hooker, get over that mental hurdle and see how you feel. If you are still nervous bang another hooker, practice makes perfect.

that's genuinely reassuring

BEGONE THOT

get nervous
go have a smoke
go home
watch people streaming themselves playing some boring game I don't even play
fap to traps
make like 10 extra feelposts the next day

also I have done basically this on more than one occasion

oh also of course never speak to the girl again and avoid her at all costs

which leads to extra social isolation because these girls are usually friends of my friends and then eventually you end up alienating and drifting apart from all your friends because you are autism or memexiety or memepression or something haha

I can routinely last for 15 minutes the first time.

My girl cums every time. I have to hold her down or her orgasms are so strong she can literally kick me off of her. She convulses wildly.

Who needs to be Veeky Forums when you make women gush and cream so easily?

Probably not autistic, probably just naturally introverted and not used to that much social interaction

Are you me?

Although I usually get them to cum before I even stick it in first

>this guy says he would tell the girls they dont get a pass to sexually assault him, which seems like common sense
>you call him a supreme gentleman loser

this guy was being ironic but it actually seems you are the supreme gentleman

...

y-y-you t-too...

>begrudgingly hand her the remote
>put on some tea
>start doing the dishes

>Grab her hair and pull her head back
>Pull her in and make out.

id flex a 'cep and dive rite in

Tell her to stop, sex before marriage is a sin

I wasn't even bullied that much, but I would prefer getting insulted rather than getting complemented. If I get insulted, I just switch to classic bants mode and insult em back. If I get complimented, I sperg out and awkwardly say thanks