HO-HO-HO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

I grant you the gift of Tinder and Happn. You should probably go back to Aldi's and see if she is a regular.

I grant you the gift of self awareness. You now realize the only person in the world that you need acceptance from is yourself, because you now realize you are the writer and character of your own history. If you want to be ok with the way you look, the only validation you need is your own, fuck everyone else and fuck this vain world.

Please let me recover from my injuries so I can lift heavy again...

>my presents are fuck apps

T-thanks santa

A mere crush? Not worth it. A crush is passion, passion is temporary. Relationships may or may not be. Your happiness can't fuck with that of someone else's.

I just want her to like me and not think of me as a 'mistake' for fucks sake. Maybe it's because I was dating some girl at the time, but that's all about to be over.

If that's too faggy then i just started my first cycle. Please make it a good one. I want to look like a Greek God at the end of it. I want to get our coworkers wet over me, if only to get her jealous on what she's missing out on.

I just wanna get laid santa

Wasn't a fuck what you were looking for?

What is the nature of your injuries?

Max arm aesthetics so I look good in short-sleeves

I want everybody to have a year of gainz

Thank you Swoll Santa! I wish for a merry gains-filled program - one I can stick to for 12 weeks at a time before making any adjustments.

Thanks again, Santa! Merry Christmas, Santa! Merry Christmas, Veeky Forums!

>qt
>posts andro 13 year old gay shit

>Maybe it's because I was dating some girl at the time, but that's all about to be over.

You need a ghost of Christmas past. There is nothing I can do for you in this situation, besides telling you that juggling women is a stupid idea if you want one of them to like you.

> If that's too faggy then i just started my first cycle. Please make it a good one. I want to look like a Greek God at the end of it.

I grant you the gift of suggestion and accountability. Keep your diet and training in check and don't expect drugs to do the work for you.

I grant you the gift of truth.

If sex is all you seek, then you have no problems with prostitutes. If you want something meaningfull, then pursuing only sex is not the way to get it.

I wish for a girl to be romantically in love with me despite my obvious permanent physical and character flaws.

I grant you the gift of close-grip chin-ups, barbell curls, weighted dips and close-grip bench presses. Accept those gifts and this time next year you won't need bigger arms

Now go and make me proud.

guide me to have the strength of laid god

Hi santa.

I wish to feel something towards another person.

user,
Age 31.

Give me the strength to be the Person i always wanted to be - already training this 5x5

> I wish for a merry gains-filled program - one I can stick to for 12 weeks at a time before making any adjustments.

Done, I grant you the gift of consistency. But you need to realize the main component of whatever program you run is yourself, without you, a program is words on paper. The athlete is the one that makes it all work. You will find something you like and you will make progress, but how long you must walk that road is for you to decide. Keep it consistent, solid results don't come from 12 weeks, it comes from 12 months or more.

I want to find a purpose to live. I feel like I'm living just to live

No I want the qt back she hasn't been there for months.

Small correction, i want every user who reads this not to off himself because hes lonly on christmas

Train good.
Eat good.

Ignore memes. Look at what those who have been sucessfull have done. Apply it to yourself.

One does not become a god by walking among mortals.

Granted.

But I need you to go out, go somewhere, introduce yourself to someone, make friends. Just like we must go out of our comfort zones in training, so must we in life.

I grant you the gift of sacrifice.

Sacrifice yourself to yourself, on the bloody altar of your mind. All that you are now, for all you can become. All that' you can't do now, for all you want to do later.

You are your own god. Strength is not granted, it is developed.

Set yourself on the path, and strength will find you. Remember you are not alone.

Your wish itself is already a bright light for all of those lost in the darkness you wish them out of, they must only stare at it.

i thought this was gonna be another shitpost thread, but Swole Santa is actually cheering me up.

Merry Christmas mate, I wish everyone in here has a great christmas. You are not broken people, we are all gonna make it.

Grant me the ability to make conversations and not throw spaghetti when talking to girls

I wish for Jerusalem.

Santa-senpai I want to feel fulfillment with my life

Give me a 180 kg front squat until next christmas

Granted. Stop thinking of girls as untouchable goddesses, start seeing as people with the same insecurities and fear as you.

Stop having second intentions. Converse with them because you want to, not because you want to get in their pants, women can pick that up a mile away.

Stop caring, and the rest will flow.

Fulfillment comes with the pursuit of whatever purpose resonates within you, no matter what that is.

I grant you the gift of realization. Find that which makes you happy. Find that which brings you peace and quiets the doubts in your minds. You will be fullfilled.

qt Nordic gf bls

Granted.

You should probably front squat this entire year instead of back squatting. You should also take 70% of that front squat 1RM and work on it. Add reps when you can't add weight, add weight when everything feels light. Remember to eat. Remember to keep at it even when you feel stuck. And you should probably hit the leg press to build those quads and work capacity.

Thank you Santa. I will do my best.

Merry Christmas, ganbatte everyone. We're all gonna make it

> tfw Swole Santa actually made my day better
T-thank you Santa, I believe in Christmas again.

Show me Strength, Santa. 3 years of procrastination has me up against unbeatable habits. I haven't given up never have, but failing seems to have become the norm for me.

i want a gf with abs who also is also feminine and also like anime

I want to be able to smash the requirements for my military joining test.

I want my girlfriend's dad to stop dying

fuck, me too user

I wish to finally hit 1/2/3/4 this year
Pls santa, I've been in a funky plateau for so long

Good. Go out and fail again. This is how we win. We fail, we fail again, we fail yet again, then we fail a little less, then a little less, then we don't fail.

Strength has already found you because you never gave up. Feed it. Learn from your mistakes and fail no more.

What are those requirements?

It is not for me or anyone to dictate when one's time is up, that's decision is higher up the food chain. Death is not an end. I can't save your father in law, but I can offer you the gift of knowing that when he does pass, whatever are his pains on this earth will be no more.

I wish that fuck-up at my job would got solved easily with no complications. I did so much to make up for this but some small details can ruin everything.

Dear Santa,

Grant me a cured back. I got a lower back injury while playing soccer. Its healing slowly.

I just want to deadlift and squat again without fear of re-injury, i want to be able to push it to near my limit again.

Give me the strength to get through this
I’m getting my life together but this next year will make or break everything I’ve worked for
I’m scared as fuck bros

>Your happiness can't fuck with that of someone else's.
oh fuck, Swole Santa needs to happen year round

Granted.

You will start by doing whatever movement you can without pain. You will build on it, does not matter if it's back extensions or something along those lines. Light. Sets of 100, sets of 50. Get blood flowing on your upper back.

You will also work you abdominals and obliques, so that your lower back is never injuried again.

With time pain will subside, much faster than it would if you had not trained at all. And with time you will heal. Injuries are not permanent, unless we are dumb about it.

> Get blood flowing on your upper back.
I meant lower back. Santa hasn't eaten and is dumb from hypo.

Either most of my interpersonal differences with some people to be resolved or an 8pl8 DL for reps by 2019 (5pl8 x 5 now). Whatever is easier.

Fear is normal, fear is human. Fear is what made you get your life back together. But don't let the fear of losing it all make you paralysed.

Make it or break it. Fear not. If you've been broken before, know that you can pick yourself back up and jump back into the fray. Strength has already found you because you yourself decided you want to make your life better. Strength will never leave you, but it demands sacrifice.

> Whatever is easier.

No, nobody gets anywhere by taking the easy road.

It is not wishing or wanting something that gets you there, nor is knowing which road to take. Results come from the pursuit, not from reaching the end of the road.

Swole Santa is the one true god.

...

I wish to have the mindset required for the law of attraction.

Forgiveness

Remove my gyno santa

I wish to be the strongest thing in the universe

>I'm Swole Santa and I'm here to grant you your fucking Christmas Gains. You get one fucking wish.

100 pull-ups by the next year, please.
I barely make 3 right now.

One copy of this wish granted, please.

I want to perform at Basic Training, and have a good time.

Help me get my healthy appetite back please

I meant whichever is easier for you to grant, because both are pretty much equally unreachable from my current position on my own. But thanks for the chuckle and inspiration to keep on keeping on.

I can't lift my feels away Santa. I want to lift them away.

I'd like an extra boost in my arm and shoulder gains

im just a fat fuck that wants change so i guess some luck would be nice

Thank you Santa! I hope ill be deadlifting and squatting heavy soon again.

I would love to finally have the drive to go to the gym.

Help me figure out an Upper/Lower routine for this year, swole santa

I want to recover from DOMS faster.

can you inhibit my selfdoubt a bit?

>the main component is you
Thank you based winter solstice saint

2018 unironically looking good

I want a 1.5pl8 snatch and a 2pl8 clean&jerk by October please. I'm explosive but the balance is hard.

I also want to get back into an elite university, and be employed again in the beginning of January.

I also want a qt3.14 gf who is actually smart, not "muh smart girl" who is actually a brainless twat without critical thinking, I want somebody with hobbies, ambition, and discipline who can take over the world at my side.

That is 5 wishes, but I never said I didn't have a lot of hopes or dreams. Thank you Swole Santa.

I want to see my girls again.
I want to hear her laugh and see her smile one more time.
I want to spend one more morning just laying in bed with them.

>but I never said I didn't have a lot of hopes or dreams

You have some indeed.
But you - static.
No offense.

Swole santa, please give me strength, motivation and a bit of luck for me to get into medical school, i want to become a MD so i can make more of this fucking life thsn just being a mere spectator

Merry Christmas Santa, next year I'd like a thicc(optional) Qt3.14 who loves me and sits on my weiner, who I can do fun things with

I wish you would never make a post again.

Cure these huge man tits, Santa, give me a proper man's chest

Year supply of sterons for everyone itt please, santa-sama

I wanna fix my knees swole santa!

100 pound of whey and 5 pound of creatine would be helpful. Also, 200 pounds of chicken, my freezer has enough space. And maybe 100 punds of oats, too.

I wish to break this upper body plateau Santa

i want to make it

give me the will to loss more weight and gain a lot of muscle so i can stop being a manlet shitskin fatfuck and become a well built shitskin manlet.

Swole santa is actually really insightful.

I want the perversion and filth in me to die and strength to thrive

Thats Reinhardt.

I wish my squat would get unstalled

a gf who loves me

you don't know shit about me nigga

Please increase my peen by 3 inches swole Santa it’s the only thing the gym won’t fix minus my disgusting personality.