Help me become that weird guy at the gym. Right now I'm a normie

ohp feels like a small one compared with the others, even if still necessary

prolonged eye contact without head movement

say "hey how you doing" to regulars twice in a row, nod both times upwards and raise your right hand

I just realized that the guy has cancer :(

She sat next to the ugly guy because he's no threat, he knows his place and wont hit on her.

But the average dude probably has the ridiculous idea of escaping the friendzone, so she wont risk having to reject him.

This bothered me until some time ago

Read fit between sets and quietly chuckle to yourself

DELET

Step one: Learn to talk roughly like Crazy Dave from plant vs zombies

youtube.com/watch?v=QNiqa1iTsR8

Go to gym and play shitty music on your phone at the volume where other people can hear it over the gyms music, but not so loud that you need extarnal speakers

step 3: Whenever someone comes to confront you really agrssively confront them while acting liek a handicap while spewing incoherent bs

step 3.2 if noone confronts you, start mumbling to yourself louder and louder

step 4: scream like a fucking reatrd each tiem you finish a set

step 5: stare as many people down as possible while smiling like a windowlicker

Arms day every day and stare at yourself in the mirror while walking back and forth across the gym flexing taking long periods of time between low weight sets and talking to other guys who get tans. Idolize these kinds of people.

curls, lat pulldown machine, leg press and lateral raises

how about bodyweight squats?

I-I think you just redpilled me...
I'm considered good looking and am clearly fit, but women my age always avoid sitting next to me. Always wondered

(...or they can smell the onion breath)

do bodyweight diddlys.
just the movement for 50 reps or so. if anyone asks tell em u read a blog or some shit how its good.

pistol squats , pull ups , dips and hanging leg raises

the bench press is an assistance exercise for The PressTM

>never shower after your workout
>wear clothes and shoes that are full of holes
>let your beard grow for 3 months before buzzing it down to a stubble and then repeat
>have a resting bitch face that makes you look like you want to kill someone
>never talk to anyone
>never respond if someone says something to you
>if someone dares to look at you, death stare into their eyes until they look away

Has worked fine for me so far.

Drop a gun out of your gym bag

>"haha oops that's just for me"

are you me

Only do 1 or 2 heavy compound lifts, max out everyday, headbang and dance around to psych yourself up for your max.

>live in Kalifornia where men live and die without ever touching a firearm
>out drinking with some friends
>bend over
>gun falls out of waistband
>archetypal bugman programmer friend notices
>put back in waistband and give him a wink
>hfw

Id be looking at you like a retard if you dropped your gat too you inept dumb cunt. It’s called a pancake holster.
Don’t be a bag of shit and keep a hold of your weapon system you fucking shitbag

this desu
but since its the lightest compound you will do you have to go as heavy as possible

>Asks Veeky Forums for advice on how to be "that weird guy"
>Normie
Choose one.
Youre asking a board of autists how to be "Weird xD" do you really think thats normal OP, Time to start re-evaluating your life decisions desu.