Gym stories

>be skelly dyel
>new at gym
>start doing SS
>after a year of social ineptitude and a dirty bulk I get close to 1/2/3/4
>Things seem to be going well, will be able to start my first cut soon
>FF two months, have reached 1/2/3 and am missing my fucking deadlift
>can't seem to be able to up my diddly 1x5
>some gym dude who's way past my level gives me advice
>"you should streghten your lower back first, you're lacking there"
>ask him how could I do that
>he shows me some hybrid (dl and farmer walk)
>just do a deadlift and walk around with it
>try that shit, whatever for my 4pl8 diddly
>pull the bar, start walking
>acute pain in my back, drop the weight, can't stand the fucking pain
>doctor tells me I slipped a disc
>tfw I fucked up my back forever
>tfw now i fear the walking dead

kek

You are a fucking retard. Why didn't you put less weight on the bar and redo with proper form?

newfag here. wtf is 1/2/3/4?

lame ass joke, kys.

Oh sweet summer child

1 plate overhead press - which means 1 plate on each side so it's 135 pounds.
2 plate bench press - which is 225 pounds.
3 plate squat - 315 pounds.
4 plate deadlift - 405 pounds.

nice reddit spacing faggot

It refers to the big 4 upperbody lifts
100 pound curl
200 pound overhead press
300 pound row
400 pound bench

For reps? Or just one rep max?

are you retarded?

one rep max

Tried writing about it other day but thread died really quick
>grab squat rack next to kid who looks like typically Veeky Forums fit user
>protein farts are a little out of control today, due to greek yogurt even though I’m lactose sensitive
>squeeze one out before I remember
>thatonesawhoosie.jpg
>don’t want to be blamed so cover my nose with my shirt and cough like it smells bad
>hoping user will blame crossfit Guy next to us
>see in the mirror a gym thot begins walking to the smith machine next to me
>still smells like rotten milk and fermenting protein
>immediately see her face scrunch up and she looks at me, I still have shirt covering nose
>shrug with the force of a thousand suns to maintain my innocence
>after a few minutes user-kid leaves, gym grill looks at me and we both have a giggle
>mfw after all these years in the gym I’ve put on a performance worthy of an Oscar

Lol no it's for 5 reps. If 1234 are your one rep maxes you will still look dyel unless you're a manlet.

Actually manlets have shorter limbs and torsos so they are able to lift more (compound lifts) earlier than taller people

Trumpsaywrong.jpg

400 pound curl idiot

I suggest you stop eating shit and consume probiotics.

>tfw got a bj from Alex while bouldering/camping once
Her hands were rough and manly.

>in the gym
>cute girl does cardio
>see a red stain in her pants
>boys laugh at her
>I help her
>I get her number
>we have sex

what?

>be skelly dyel
Stopped reading right there faggot

>counting the bar

>counting the pl8s on the bar

what a shitty greentext. kys

>I help her
What ?

she said she gave some 4/10 who was on her period without knowing it a tampon and then they fucked

???

You have inadvertently revealed yourself.

>"if 1234 is your 1rm, you still look dyel"
thats what he's saying, you retard

I dropped 300lbs on my left leg after a failed power clean years ago. I still have a knot in my leg from it.

Actually laughed very hard. Good post.

This is bait, right?

fuckingchristmasbreakredditfaggotsshittingupthisboard

1 plate curl
2 plates chest press machine
3 plates leg press
4 plates shrugs

British jail routine

>be me growing up
>whenever I was struggling with something (getting knot out of shoe laces, trying to reach something on a high shelf, etc.) my dad would say ‘can the monkey get the banana’ and the walk away laughing
>ff to high school
>be lifting in gym with football team
>half black running back trying to adjust the safety things on the bench press
>see him struggling with it
>walk over and say “Can the monkey get da banana?”
>start laughing and walking away
>he tackles me and I end up getting kicked off the football team
>didn’t realize what I did until I had a meeting with the principal
I’m glad high school was a long time ago.

Kek all whiteys is WAYSIST

jesus dude

made me kek

>tfw no rough gf with a pretty face

nice story user, made me kek

Fucking kek