Tinder Pickup Lines

OK buddy boys, I need some good pickup lines/funny introduction for my profile. I just started tinder linked to a fake facebook profile that has nothing but a picture of me on it and some other shit.
I lost my virginity to a hooker a few months ago and now I'm a sex addict, so to save money I'm trying to find a good way to hook up with thots, the lower hanging the fruit, the better.
I also have a 5" dick, but I don't kow if making fun of that in my intro would be a wise move.
What would the chads of Veeky Forums do?

Just make a profile saying all you're looking for is sex in the bio. Photo and contact number only if you match. Also add the reasons why people should fuck you in your profile (try not to sound cringey here)

I am also an idiot and don't know how tinder works. Can you just use it on the webpage, or do you have to use a mobile device for chatting? I've spent over $700 on whores and I'm between jobs right now, so this could be my life line.

Anyone have any experience hooking up with thirsty, desperate, slightly ugly milfs? Is a Veeky Forums body enough attract sloots?

>reasons why people should fuck you
See, I can't think of any. I don't really know how hookup culture works since I've only had sex with escorts. Are there really women out there just looking for a quick dingus-tickle? If they're ugly that's fine.

Yes, there are. Especially in uni.

Don't explicitly say that you're not picky. They'll think you're probably ugly for having no standards. Just say stuff like you're down for some fun, and you're going to give them a great time or whatever. If tall, indicate height. Offer dinner or alcohol if you can. Only mention looks if that's something you're confident about (then again, you wouldn't be having trouble getting laid in the first place)

If you lower your standards, probably.

I'm a 23 year old virgin, but I'm quite good looking, tall and ottermode. I get a lot of matches.

Should I tell the girls who are interested in fucking straight up that I'm a virgin? I'm thinking that would be cringy if I was an ugly NEET, but I am genuinely an above average looking guy, and I only need one girl to accept. Thoughts?

op here, go on backpage and hire an escort. You can do incall (you go to them) or outcall (they go to you), ad just straight up tell them when they get there you're a virgin. Depending on the girl (you can check first) you can try all sorts of positions, go down on them, etc. Around where I am most go for about $150 a half hour.

Make sure to do your research first, though, to be able to recognize fake ads. Always use reverse image search - if it's some girl's instagram, or similar ads have appeared half way across the world, it's probably fake. Never do money transfers either.

Not giving a fuck works wonders on tinder. You can pretty much say dumb shit as long as it isn't desperate or gross.
No coffee or dinner dates. Drinks or drugs works.
Take a pic with a dog/an instrument.
Clean your place.

That's an option I've considered, and I have a girl picked out if I want to go that route. But I think I'd like to lose it to a normal girl if I can.