If I'm a 58 year old virgin will getting jacked help me get women...

>/r9k/ final boss

Basically I chose to hangout at home instead of work and i shot coons for my dad to sell so he let me stay on the farm with them

im a 25 year old virgin and im miring cant wait to be a 28 year old virgin

FUCK OFF OP YOU HAVE A RARE OPPORTUNITY

YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME A DOUBLE WIZARD

Double wizard?

dubs wizard

>Shooting coons
>Selling coons
livin' the dream my man

>and i shot coons for my dad
How the fuck did you make a living out of killing niggers?

A coon is an animal you dumbass do you live in the city or something? Google raccoon

im gonna be a Veeky Forums wizard soon hahaha

google coon

Anyone knows a coon is a raccoon unless they lived a sheltered city life

thats a very sheltered opinion to have

You've clearly only lived city life kiddo

For 40 years?

>I admire the fact you haven't killed yourself.

HAHAHAHA omg I can't fucking breathe

I live in Australia where a coon is a boong

How do you deal with your parents disappointment?
As in “we only wanted you to find a nice girl and be happy, this is all my fault for not giving you siblings”

I can somewhat believe you're a Wraith. I have a harder time believing you've never had a job. Have you never wanted money and things it can buy? How have you coped with the boredom of endless days?

I don't like your chances with women. But at this point, you have nothing to lose.

>58

You only have like five more years with a functional dick. Just throw in the towel.

ive probably spent three weeks of my whole life in cities, i used to live in a "city" of 100,000 people and it was awful

>58 years
>Still alive

I be mirin

What disappointment? and I have 2 brothers and a sister

you ever heard "if you don't use it you will lose it"

at damm near 60 are you ever sure your dick will work?

I fap quite often and am always horny, trust me I use my dick a lot I'm not in any fear of losing it

You seem remarkably casual about this, most people would go crazy from a lifetime without physical affection of any sort

I don't really care about affection, I have always occupied myself and didn't need others to stay sane

Why should a wizard care about such things

DELETE THIS

Rhodesia.

It would probably help; I mean, you'll improve your physical appearance and possibly confidence. Though, you seem pretty chill/confident as-is, and if you aren't half-bad looking then it might honestly be a waste of time.

Respect, friend. Glad you did you.

Hard time believing OP is actually 58

Whoosh

I'm 25 and on my way to wizardry, I don't understand this, I've never desired physical affection from a person. I have a dog and a cat that I pet sometimes though.

You're just a late bloomer OP. 2 solid years of lifting and you can start slaying teenage puss. You're in your prime and totally didn't start late.

just go on tinder swipe on everything and fuck the first whore that swipes you back, wham bam thank you maam, its that easy.

I may or may not have been projecting a little, anyways good for you

You lok good desu.
Just fix your retarded face and get Veeky Forums then you will slay stacies

>implying my city's not fucking full of raccoons
ABLOO BLOO YOU CITY FOLKS DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT VARMINTS DO YA?

based.
Are they going to leave you anything when they die?

that's because the autist you are don't really know the feeling yet. when you first experience it you can't go without it

a kind Veeky Forumsizen

If you can't go without it after your first time why have a first time at all if it doesn't appeal to the person?

>58 year old virgin will getting jacked
Getting jacked will take around 5-10 years at best, whereupon you will be a SIXTYeight year old jacked virgin.

I lost my virginity before I started lifting. lifting made it worse actually because I would skip being social in favor of going to gym. I'm only 5'7 and weighted 120lb when I had my first gf. It's not about the body, you do that for yourself. If you wanna have a gf though you just gotta go out enough and get lucky. those days are well over for me and it feels so much better to practically be a monk.

Shame

holy shit I'm surprised you haven't killed yourself yet.
The simple fact that you're still alive means that you're survival mindset must be on par with the last mammals still alive after the asteroid killed the dinosaurs.

youtube.com/watch?v=FgtcajwNid0

dubs don't lie. double wizard it up bro!

If you got to relax why couldn't you download some dating apps and hit up some roasties?

Or go out with some friends, it's hard to imagine not having ANY friends at some point in 40 yrs

You sound like the MC of NHK if he never got better and go much much older

Jesus christ we got a damn Arch Wizard here

brah, with the magical powers he acquired, he can do whatever he wants

op, a wizard is a man over 30 and virgin, you would be a double wizard because you'd be a 60-year-old virgin

Copypasta lads, original thread was days ago.

Consult the archives.