Men's lack of social touching

Gentlemen, I am here today to make you aware of a serious men's health issue that you may instinctively know but not really think about all that hard.

Touch Isolation.

Frankly, we have a problem. About as soon as puberty hits, boys stopped being socially touched. Cuddling on couches, Back scratches from mom, being picked up and carried by dad, being stuck in a giant pile of other boys on a couch after you've tuckered yourselves out eating cake at a birthday party, holding hands with other kids when going out, seeing your friend and giving them a big hug. All of this peters off about the time puberty begins, but only for men. Women continue to have social touching as part of their lives.

We end up with the majority of touch coming from only a few sources: Women and Family.

And when I'm talking about touching its not any of the sexual shit. I'm talking about just being flopped all over each other on a couch. I'm talking about us Veeky Forums gym bros Bear hugging the shit out of each other. I'm talking about being comfy with leaning on each other to take naps on a subway or bus.

More BRO-FISTS. More ELABORATE HANDSHAKES. More Huddles with each other's arms round each other's shoulders.

Imagine a couple situations, don't think about how others look at you just imagine the feeling.

>>A little kid comes up and give you a big hug round the leg and asks if you could push them on the swing.

>>You get down off the stage from graduating from high school, your father is there and he has a big beaming smile and gives you a giant long hug, while telling you of how proud he is of you.

>>You are sitting on the bus and a girl sits next to you, she falls asleep and slowly leans her head onto your shoulder.

>>You are playing football. You've won the second to last game in the series. Beginning of the game everybody huddles up and your shitty quarter back actually says some good shit for once. You break out of the huddle with smiles on your faces.

Other urls found in this thread:

artofmanliness.com/2012/07/29/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>You are sitting on the bus and a girl sits next to you, she falls asleep and slowly leans her head onto your shoulder.
>You are sitting on the bus and a girl sits next to you

>as soon as puberty hits, boys stopped being socially touched
t. unloved nerd that never was part of a sports team
I've seen more touching in my rugby club than in a gay porn and we were past puberty
If no male friend touch you is because nobody want to touch you, the others aren't the problem, you are

So you've imagined that. They all kinda felt right. But we cant do that normally cause...

We've become sensitive to touch.
A girl comes up and scratches your back a bit and suddenly you think you may be in love. Thats cause you've become sensitive to touch.
Another dude comes up and gives you a hug, you start to feel good and immediately think that shit is you turning gay or something and over react. Sensitive to touch.

And you know what the worst of it is? MOTHER FUCKING PREJUDICE!

You hug a dude, you're gay.
You hug a chick, you're a perv.
You hug a kid, you are a pedophile abducting a child.

Further more, Imagine a big scary dude.
The big scary dude is less likely to be hugged at all cause people think he will beat the shit out of them if they do.
Poor sad scary dude deserves love too.

If you are still holding out on this shit being wrong I have one more example for you.

Imagine you own a dog, you would totally cuddle the shit out of a big floofy dog wouldn't you? Thats whats missing from the male psyche. Were pack animals damnit.

Its hurting us.

Its hurting our ability to be PEOPLE.


Share some stories here.
Go hug some fuckers.
BE MEN ABOUT IT.

>I'm talking about just being flopped all over each other on a couch. I'm talking about us Veeky Forums gym bros Bear hugging the shit out of each other. I'm talking about being comfy with leaning on each other to take naps on a subway or bus.
that sounds pretty gay tb h

get a gf, get a pet, visit your mom/aunt/grandma

Imagine the bus is full. only spot available.
Also I said imagine, ignore your own reality for a second.

Tell us some of that comradery shit then Rugby bro. Put up or shut up.

I was just meme'ing, but seriously. A girl falling asleep on a bus and leaning her shoulder on you? What the fuck?

You gay nigga

You've never fallen asleep on a bus or a subway and had people lean against you a little cause they fall a sleep and slump a bit?

touching the adversary's balls in the melee to distract him, slapping your friend's butt, showering all together
no homo tho

I think it's just a cultural thing, some of my male friends are very non-hugs and all that, some are. I think I read once though that in some European countries, it's very common for men to be very touchy feely with each other and that's a normal bonding thing for them. Each to their own I guess.

You ever bro-fist? Do more of that shit.

Interesting article here actually I just found.

artofmanliness.com/2012/07/29/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/

cancer

Damn right no homo.

Yeah other cultures are interesting for that shit. Like the East Indian dude dance together and hold each other's hands as a normal thing.

>Like the East Indian dude dance together and hold each other's hands as a normal thing.
there you go, just find a pajeet (boy)friend

I touch all of my friends a lot. They don't like it much but I'm bigger than them and there's nothing they can do about it.

In countries where the child is almost never put down and affection is shown physically, everyone tends to be incredibly secure. It's a gigantic problem that we shy away from physical interaction.

Holy shit, good find. Its interesting, All these ancestors of ours are taking group photos like it ain't even shit.

How do you touch them? Do they actually not like it? have you talked to them about it?

Which countries are these?

Op your post reminds me of something, a english & arts teacher in high school once told the class

"people need 10 touches a day to feel human" or something along those lines then went into a ramble about connectedness

really made me think, then made me sad

[spoiler] two years after I finished high school my siblings told me he lost his job for some weird relationship with a student ( non physical sending gifts [/spoiler]

Touching another person in any way, that I don't want to fuck, makes me uncomfortable.

I get massages partly for this reason.

>No I don't go for handjobs

>what countries
Typically mountainous countries with close-knit communities like Tibet and that meme country with the pretty rock city I can remember the name of. Children can be held for up to 23 hours a day usually, since they literally go by "it takes a village".

After you thought about it, did anything change? Did you try to pat your friend's backs a little more, bro fist em more, hug them more. put a hand on their shoulders when talking to them maybe? Did you notice people avoiding contact?

Whats your opinion?

Men kiss in plenty of countries. I'm not good with social kissing though.

I don't like seeing some friendzoned guy get one of those pentagon hugs where the crotches are so far apart that both parties have to dramatically lean forward.

That's totally OK user. If its how you feel, Its how you feel. Have you thought about why you feel that way?

This is caused by the suspicion of homosexuality. In societies where homosexuality is outlawed men who are friends walk down the street holding hands together because the thought of that being a sign of homosexuality never enters into their mind.

But in western societies where heterosexual men don't want to be perceived as gay they constantly are on their guard against appearing gay. This undermines men's platonic friendship and bonding.

But the handjobs are definatly appreciated?!

Massages, back scratches, getting your hair shampooed at the local hair cutter. Its all good shit.

I'd suggest keeping to what's comfortable, Just do more of it.

Everybody loves a happy ending.

You're a fucking faggot.

...

Any tips to rejoining the touching game. It feels weird when you've been out of it for a while. What are some simple excuses to touch somebody, so it seems more natural and you get comfortable with touching people.

IKTFB

Judo

A good image. that cheetah looks hella chill.
You got any personal stories?

I don't know about you but any touch feel too sexual for me. Weather or no it's in a sexual context or not, doesn't even matter if it's human touch or not. I avoid all contact because of this, it's not even that I think of sexual things I just get a sexual sensation from contact with another being, it's sort of electric.

...

Ironically this is a result of the near-complete disappearance of formal, near-ritual standards of decorum and compulsory social interaction between and within the sexes.

This is probably also at least partly behind the tendency towards hysteria over sexual harassment. When the rules are clear, it’s easier to tell when they’re being broken.

I unironically don't like it when people touch me unless it's a woman or close family though. Like Elliot out of Mr Robot. No autism I promise. Ok maybe a little.

Try putting your hand on someones shoulder while giving them advice.

Or just straight saying to a friend that you've had a really shitty day and need a hug.

Or just declaring a bro fist while walking by someone.

For some of them, its just a thing that happens. If you see someone having a bad day walk up and give them a back pat and ask if they need a hug.

Sounds like an elaborate plot by /lgbt/ to me

yeah, such sports will probably work, but no chance of it happening right now. Or any matter of lessons such as dancing. Something that requires no money. (the money problem comes from travelling costs t b h.)

Mental Health user, imo you're pretty on the mark, but the way you're talking about it is just asking for trolls from Veeky Forums, unfortunately.

I grew up from a decent, but non physically affectionate family.
Also grew up hella socially awkward until around 20-21, and after my first serious relationship realized how dead inside I've felt this whole time with it missing from my life.
Fucking love platonic cuddling or trading back massages with friends, but idk how to bring it up without coming off as flirting.

...

I hug my bros when I see them and when I say goodbye. I hug my dad and I kiss my mom. Stop being faggots and show the people you love some affection.

It's kinda sad but not really.
Though I have come to realize that the effects of caffeine and beta-alinine do simulate that warm fuzzy feeling of being around a girl you really like.
I wonder if this is the reason why I work out so much.

Sugoi.

fuck I missed a chance today. Probably the best time of the year to see sad people is now. (exams month).

ARe you making more of these threads in the future? It's the first thread about touching I see here.

>When you are walking alongside your bro and your hands accidentally touch

mfw

That would be touch sensitivity in action. you may not be getting enough social touching in the first place. Trouble being that it would be an uncomfortable time fixing it.

Does cuddling or petting dogs feel good? If not then that's just how you are, if it does you may be touch sensitive and wary of the way society thinks of you.

Could you throw down some easy examples?

I haven't physically touched anyone or been touched by anyone for 8 months. The only moments when I get to be touched is when I get laid. Which is sad.

When I do actually get laid I usually go overboard on the touching, and basically try to absorb as much physical contact so I can survive until the next opportunity.

>maneuvering down a crowded hall
>his hand swings into your dick

I hug my friends all the time. I hug my mom, my dad and my sister and my dog.
Hug's are the shit, love it. I'll hug any user near me and you can't stop me.

>cuddling in bed and his erect benis slips into your butt

The Gays took part of our social lives away because we wanted to distance ourselves from them. I find that to be a cowardly act and want that shit back.

Be friends first to build trust the introduce it slowly. We've got trust issues in our society related to touch, so trust has to come first

Brofist.

Fuck I might. Its not like the thread is over. Tell us a story.

Just do it and declare no homo.

You need to find yourself some bros.

My god, he's on a hugging rampage.

sauce on the animu?

>super old lady sits next to me on the bus
>rests her elbow in a way that it touches my side
>feel a fraction of her living weight and shape with the bus' motion
>massive erection the whole ride

Re:Zero

Don't like it when people touch me.

Wait what? Really? Me and my friends had plenty of social touching such as bro fist, wrestling, rough play, bear hug when one of us had a big accomplishment, etc. I always thought everyone is just like us. It seems not. Huh.

...

Man you are right. People think I'm a total chad and I get a more girls than I should just because I touch other people. I grab a girl and hug her, I give a guy a shoulder pat, etc. People, especially girls, pick up on this and just assume you're alpha. But you should do it with everyone and from the moment you meet them dont be selective with people and dont suddenly start touching people or you'll be see' as a creep.

The only downside to this is that some people that question their own sexuality will question to themselves if they're gay or not and will become insecure.

Its actually a fairly large issue and has been for the last 80 something years. Individuals are effected by how they are raised, their ability to be social, their own level of self-confidence and the perceptions of others around them. Treasure your friends.

Have you ever asked yourself why?

Hello Matt how are you doing?

>Have you ever asked yourself why?

Probably because i'm an introvert.

Preach it Reaper-man. We need to make it return to feeling normal for anyone to do.

(Matt)
Did I steal someones trip or something?

Introvert meaning you have a limited amount of energy for dealing with people socially or introvert as in you have crippling anxiety talking to someone on the phone much less in person?

The first is legit, the second may require therapy.

Jesus fucking christ, this cuts deep. Ever since I've made female friends they've started to touch me. It feels good but it kind of freaks me out.

It freaking you out likely comes from feeling insecure about it. instead of waiting for them to do it, try to be the one starting the action. Over time it will become more normal for you. Also try doing it with your male friends. introduce that shit slow.

I pat guys on the back whenever the opportunity presents itself. It's only gay if you don't put enough force into it, which everyone knows and is perceptive of. Subconsciously it triggers all the emotions they felt when an older paternal figure gave them a pat on the back for having done something good.

So by patting them on the back, not only are you demonstrating the confidence to touch another guy who may only be an acquaintance, but also possibly conjuring subjective emotions that put you as senior to them.

>inb4 beta males accusing me of being gay
Go outside and observe Chad. He's pattin guys on the back left and right. Chad is happy with his life and loves to share his positive emotions. He doesn't even consider the homosexual implications of guy-to-guy touch because he's a font of testosterone and slays puss weekly

>Introvert meaning you have a limited amount of energy for dealing with people socially
That, though i do have a dislike for talking to people on the phone.

I slap my mates arse after he grinds out a pr on the bench? Nothing gay about it bro just being encouraging. He does the same to me.

If being able to pat someone on the back leads to the result of being more confident about yourself and instilling confidence in others, then I don't see a problem with it also giving off the vibe of being alpha as fuck. A Leader cares for the group as well as themselves. Good call.

During those few times where you actually want to hangout with others for short periods, do you hug a motherfucker? Shit makes you feel confident as fuck. Also fucking phoning people sucks doesn't it.

Confidence is key. Lotta trust between you. What about your friends outside the gym?

I would say that the more sports/athletic/outdoor stuff you do, the more touching there is. I think that muscular dudes are much more receptive to bro hugs. I've never been uncomfortable with touching because all of my female friends like to give hugs and lean on people

So group activities that lead to bonding and trust often also lead to more physical touching. That makes sense to me. now you say you aren't uncomfortable about it, but do you only do so with your female friends or do you also innitiate such actions with your male friends? We need to look at this shit critically.

>gay


/thread

>During those few times where you actually want to hangout with others for short periods, do you hug a motherfucker?

Haven't felt the desire to hang out with anyone for many years now, i'm pretty content being a hermit.

>Also fucking phoning people sucks doesn't it.

Yes

Yeah it did slightly change how I apprached friends, we normally did that hand shake hug thing anyway and other friendly contact, occasionally hugs although they were rare and resevred for hard times

it just lead me to reflect on how my family never really had much physical contact with me and contact with friends was less than the "10 touches a day"

I hate it when people do this to me. It feels very patronizing

That's because you're getting mogged, beta male

It's Puritanism. Practically everything involved in it fucks you up mentally by depriving you of things necessary to be a normal human. Not that there's anything wrong with Christianity at its core, but what Northern Euros did to it in order to curb their natural inclination towards heathen-ocity is destructive to the normal human psyche.

>You are sitting on the bus and a girl sits next to you, she falls asleep and slowly leans her head onto your shoulder.
d-delet this

I wish I could be like this. People joke about being "trans-height" but I legitimately believe my mind suffers from being in a body too small to engage socially in the way I'd be most comfortable with.

I'd touch your butt user, you seem chill (no homo)

Me and my friends shake hands but that's about it.

Somehow I unintentionally give off some vibe of not wanting to be touched that I don't know how to change. Usually when greeting extended family they will hug and kiss my brother but just skip over me. I'm really not as outgoing as him but I don't think I'm trying to repel people. I've been getting better at it though.

...

DELET

I know its none of my business at this point, but you got some kind of social supporter types yeah? Family making sure you're ok? Neighbor you say hello to maybe once a week then walk away? Some idiot on the internet you happen to message on occasion? Hug those fuckers.

Your social battery is like a muscle, you gotta try to be a little social to increase its capacity. It isn't going to recharge like that bitch Stacy from high school with her god damned social cliques.

This is personal advice from me, a fellow introvert. Ive managed to increase my social battery to about 3 hours at full power before getting grouchy and wanting to get the fuck out and back to my comfy bull shit. Recharged by the next day. That said if I'm social for like 8 hours I'm fucked for the entire week and go back to hermit mode.

And maybe you dont want this advice and shit in which case I'm sorry for assuming.

Think of it like a competition, pat em HARDER.

Could you expand upon that? Specific examples, which parts of Christianity do it too much, religions where that isn't the case and so forth?

You are sitting in your bedroom and you cat hops on your lap and purrs.

This is where specialty hugging comes in. Running tackle hugs, laying down on peoples laps when couches are available, AND FORMING MECHA SHIVA CAUSE YOU BE LIGHT ENOUGH TO SIT ON THEIR SHOULDERS!

No homo? sweet. *slaps back* Good game coach.

You may actually have to verbally state it the first few times.
Slightly exaggerate the tiredness, then say you need a goddamned hug, and be slightly angry about it.

As for family passing you by, act shocked that they would forget you. with a slightly cheeky expression.

"What no hug for your favorite(always call yourself the favorite) INSERT-FAMILY-RELATION-HERE"

I really really really like this post.

No in all seriousness, this is a great point. I think one of the problems we face is that many things in day to day life have slowly devolved into less physical/impersonal means. Texting rather than calling. Memes instead of learning about jokes (I'm serious about this.) Emojis instead of expressiveness.

You made me realize also how distant I've become in fear of being vulnerable or weak or "questionable."

Personally reason I'm weird around kids:
>if I'm friendly with the kid would their parent think I'm TOO friendly?

Dont touch my guy friends besides hugs
>pat on the shoulder or massage is weird would he think I'm gay

Holding hands in solidarity not as a flirty gesture
>this is gay but it also means I trust the person. Should i avoid it?

Fuck this I'm gonna go be more forthcoming from now on.

no homo

Righton user. I'm glad to see you've taken a hard look at your own life and come out better for it. Spread that feel good. Talk to your friends about it. And try to be aware of it when you interact with others. Be a man. Do some Hugging.

Lions are so manly that even when is obviously homo, it still aint homo. Its just practise for then they get those fine lionesses.

>Could you expand upon that?
Puritanism casts all physical pleasure as a worldly attachment that gets in the way of your relationship with God. What this means in practice is that you can't be a good Christian unless you're physiologically miserable. America was founded in part by the people who left Europe so they could enforce that shit on themselves and their neighbors.

Any difference between Protestantism and Catholicism in severity of removal of physical pleasure?

>This is where specialty hugging comes in. Running tackle hugs, laying down on peoples laps when couches are available, AND FORMING MECHA SHIVA CAUSE YOU BE LIGHT ENOUGH TO SIT ON THEIR SHOULDERS!
I'm at the point in my life as a young man where my masculinity and sense of self depends on my ability to impose my emotions on others physically. Since I can't do it incrementally, it comes out in eruptions that tend to get shut down, leaving me a shell of a person.

I just want to be big enough to bearhug smaller men in a show of loving domination.

In that case, work on power cleans and when hugging a motherfucker full-nelson them into couches.

Traditionally, Catholics are less strict and let you buy/pray your way out. Shit is weird in Protestant countries though because the threat of violence caused them to have to be more inhibited and upright. Protestantism at its core is about razing the loopholes Catholicism made and getting back to "Throw everything away except your love of God because that's the only thing you'll have in the end anyway and he requires it," but the lack of millennia old rules and traditions leaves room for shit like Evangelicals who push prosperity theology.

I'm 5'8" it just doesn't work.

Come on work with me here, hug beneath their arms and squeeze the air out of their lungs, you are the perfect high for a wheezing squeezer.

So.... both hate hugging? What about that whole love your neighbor stuff then? you just have to say it or something?

Can relate. Even the slightest bit of contact from a female while sitting on the bus gives me a warm feeling inside.

>Tfw lonely

Unless a family lives adjacent to a rectory, there will be no form of intimate touching between neighbors that are traditional Catholics.

>he doesn't shake hands with every man he meets

>uhh, yeah h-hi

2 handed hand shakes are a good place to start.
Clap your friends in the back/shoulder when you see them or are leaving.
Hug more, always tight. Soft hugs are awkward.
High fives are great.
Arm wrestling is good.
Spotting in the gym is good.
Rough housing is great.


The key is not being uncomfortable with your skin touching other people