Guys, I'm so confused even after the sticky. I'm constantly hearing about macros, carbs, fats...

Don't worry about that. Just decrease caloric intake, cut out sugar/deepfried/processed foods. Narrow down the foods you like that are actually healthy and incorporate them as staples in your diet. Grab a multivitamin. Do cardio and lift. You are in the early goings and don't need to worry about the exact science of it all just yet.

Math

There is a legit math equation that professionals use.

OP is too stupid to live.
Never gonna make it.

>Implying there's a consensus among professionals

Jesus fucking christ guys. I ask for one simple thing and you give me the most basic Veeky Forums lol xD answer. For fuck sake. All I wanted was a simple answer but you all ar so far up your own answers trying to be the funniest guy on Veeky Forums by replying with annoying shit.
Fuck off the lot if you.

If ur fat and a complete noob go for body recomp which is like 35-40% protein. In terms of how much carbs lol depends on how you feel day to day. carbs are needed to replenish muscle glycogen, so if you dont get enough it night hinder performance in the gym. Calories in calories out is King regardless of carb/fat ratios so just listen to your body and adjust as needed

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That's extremely basic personal training 101. Read a fucking book

I legit just told you. Now go Google shut up and pay a professional. This is 4 chan you fucking gerber baby

>5'9
Just end yourself manlet. It will be a lot quicker and less painful.

>tsbdjsmbfisj or something
It's "terveisin"

Fucking nobody measures macronutrients and all that other jibber jabber gobbledygook. It’s all about calories and protein. Being a Manlet and a fatty, you definitely don’t need that other shit. Get yourself slimmed down and build muscle before you try to micromanage your gains. Being as fat as you are, you can run the treadmill sporadically. lift weights half-assembly, eat whatever you want in the 3,000 calorie range, and still see amazing progress in a couple of months.

>Fucking nobody measures macronutrients and all that other jibber jabber gobbledygook.

Speak for yourself

fine then, continue being fat. Youre the one who defies any sense in his brain and goes to Veeky Forums for advice rather Rich Piana memes or big male asses. You fucking brainlet

Pfff don't you know we are supposed to do all the work for him, How dare you! You act like getting fat was OP's fault.

No. I speak for all The Who’s in Whoville.

If you really need an answer, which you actually don't, just download the app Mike's Macros and roughly use his equation. Boom, there you go.

If you're really overweight though you should perhaps try intermittent fasting. If that's too much for you, really seriously don't get worked up about macros. Just cut the shit food, eat at a caloric deficit, step up the cardio, and lift weights if you like.

Just try to eat 120-150g of protein per day, keep your total calories below 2000, and lift.
It's the basic 'eat your meat, eat your veggies, throw in rice pasta or potatoes to fill your calories' diet. Do that, you don't need anything more complex at this stage.

Lol all you fucking elitists ragging on this dude for trying to get help. If he's trying to get some self discipline in his life then I'm pretty sure insulting with him will just lower his confidence and cease him from trying to improve his life.

Lurk moar you cunt. Also google it you lazy bastard goat. Am I the only one ego googles everything instead of asking stupid questions like you utter dense moron?

>not improving your life because some people on an anonymous homosexual basket weaving forum didnt help you
but seriously, OP should just fucking google it. Its completely easy to find.

I'm not saying he wouldn't improve his life because nobody in this cespool of dipshits won't help him, but because he was insulted. A lot of people with self caused health problems won't improve their lives because they believe they're worthless pieces of shit, just cuz randoms say so, even though they're human beings with potential to change. Lol christ I know this cockpit is great for fucking with anons but this thread is more about helping people compared to most of the other ones.

Read it again faggot.
It talks about TDEE.

Don’t get caught up in counting calories, most of these people on here forget that energy has quality as well as quantity; meaning it matters more what you eat then the entire quantity.
If you’re just starting out to diet don’t try to go all out and quit everything cold turkey, taper it off so it’s easier to maintain a diet.
The best rule of thumb is eating a lean protein the size of your fist, you don’t need to weigh it out just yet you’re not trying to create a chemical equation. And trying to eat 4 or 5 times a day with the meals spread out evenly.
If you’re not doing fasted cardio in the morning eat within 30 mins of getting up in the morning to jumpstart your metabolism and stay away from carbs late at night or eating too late before bed.
Chicken and fish are best everyday but don’t forget to have red meat occasionally as it has naturally formin creatine.

Eat protein, eat carbs, eat healthy fats, eat veges, eat a lot of them, lift many weights, 3 or 4 times a week if you're new.

Do compound exercises such as squats, deadlifts, bench press

Also do some isolation, curls, tricep extensions etc.

This is enough to begin with.