How do i stop being a mute fuck?

how do i stop being a mute fuck?

>can't think of anything to say I'm conversations
>literally have no stories to tell (friendless loser with no hobbies or goals, that spends all of his time in front of a computer or lifting)
>can't really voice any opinions
>only respond with one word answers because i can't think of a sentence or two to say

like if someone says
>this weekend i was sick
or
>i like X tv show
i 99% of the time respond with "okay", and then there is silence
how do i think of responses? how do i start up the conversation once i end it with something like "okay"

help Veeky Forums
i don't want to be a friendless khv any longer

...

bump

name?

Start by developing opinions.

Volunteer these opinions on relevant topics without being asked.

I wish I had some advice for you user, but unfortunately I have the same issue. Shit sucks.

Same issue here. Maybe I just need to order become more worldly but I'm pretty centralized with my hobbies.

I was this way in hs
Luckily there were girls very very very very very interested in me who constantly tried to get me to talk and eventually did, but if you can't do that just go to a senior center and talk to them. They are usually lonely and have interesting stories to tell. People always talk to them like they're dumb but if you just talk to them like a normal human being it's just as fun as talking to someone your age. They'll be more forgiving of your social ineptitude as well. Just volunteer or offer to play chess make art with the residents.

Im sorry user carisma is genetic but dont give up start conversations and feign interest

It's just harder depending on how attractive you are. If you're super attractive people just want to talk to you so it gets forced on you but if you love in bumfuck you probably lose out on that in a way

>tfw all i do is make offhand comments that make people laugh all the time but cant have any in depth conversations because i really have nothing to add since ive been a friendless autistic shut in permavirgin for so long

Ask about their opinions on the topic they bring up. Ask for more details, how it started, etc.
Get out of the house more, do stuff, hobbies, hike if you have nothing else to do

Gotta get out there and do things for yourself before you can do things for others (ie. Stories)

Im with like around family but social, talkative, and funny around friends and social gatherings with friends

How come Veeky Forums?

Wat

Most of the time I just ask questions about the other person because normies love talking about themselves. Tell them you like Rick and Morty and they’ll be your best friend, gauruntee it. Develop hobbies so that you have something to talk about when they ask about you. If you have no funny stories to tell just make them up.

i feel like (say whatever you feel)
how are you?
what did you do last weekend?
what's that show about?
oh man, are you feeling better?
blahblahblah
nobody cares

Surely you have stories to tell - you got up today and wanted to eat scrambled eggs but eggs went rancid and you stank up the whole kitchen. Or you got up today but you didn't sleep so well. etc. This is what actually people talk about.

Seriously, the more time you spend with people the more you realise they talk about meaningless bullshit. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to sound like Gandalf everytime you open your mouth. With that said, a great story teller will always win in a group setting but it takes having actual stories to tell and knowing how to tell them. Telling stories is like greentexting, when you break a leg you don't say:
>umm, I broke a leg yesterday h-heh
instead you have to build up the tension, tell the whole story

Also to add to that, when you're telling a story, it can be the most mundane story ever but you can make it interesting by the way you talk. Knowing how to talk is actually more important than having interesting stories.

i feel like i can't think of opinions on the spot, i need to think of what was just said to come up with a good response

i don't think I've ever made anyone laugh before, how do you do it?

My life wtf

>i don't think I've ever made anyone laugh before, how do you do it?

basically i just make observational humor comments. i guess you could say im "quick witted" (other people use this term to me) and i can make funny responses to things people say/do or stuff around us.

but people just dont want to be friends with me. i think i know what it is, a combination of me being ugly, weird, and having ADD which turns me annoying. its still kinda surprising to me though that people really want nothing to do with me outside of forced interactions (used to be school, now work)

>tfw all my replies are mean as fuck and my coworkers just play it off as a joke
I'm sorry I'm autistic.

thanks for the advice

>literally voted wittiest in high school
>I'm actually a huge social retard who just practiced having conversations with myself in the shower
Steal goofy ass green texts from here and pretend like it's something you made up or knew someone this happened too. Be sure to remove any racism and memes.

yes but did that thing in high school lead to you having friends/girls/a big social circle?

Just ask questions. It's what I do. Look for opportunities to let people talk about themselves. It's what normies are best at.

>tfw all my coworkers are mean as fuck and I just play it off as a joke

>literally have nothing to say (friendless loser with no hobies or goals)

Read a book