Mirin thread

>didnt sit down with them and get your dick sucked later that night
tf niga

I didn't know how to react user, and I didn't want to ditch my frens

>Last halloween go to a tour in a forest with group of friends and I took a date with m
>Date is going well she's very into me and we already agreed on her staying over
>Get split off group, well w/e, I'll talk to randoms
>Start talking to qt
>She tells me I'm a beast while sliding her hand over my chest
>"Thanks."
>Have runny nose and ask her a paper hanky and she grabs on out of her purse
>Tell her I knes she would have one in that big purse full of crap
>"user the only things I have are whip cream, a condom, wallet and phone."
>Suddenly remember I forgot to stock up on condoms and I'm having a girl over fuck shit
>Ask her if I can have it
>"Oooh, well are you going to get lucky."
>"Looks like it."
>She giggles and we talk a bit. I was going to a party after and she said she'd come aswell.
>"Sure you can come, oi give me some of that whip cream."
>She fucking blasts me with whip cream giggling
>See date and friends up ahead, date saw whip cream funtimes
>Did not think this all would be an issue and just walk up to her and bid the qt farewell
>Date became distant wtf
>Everyone goes to party, date opened up a bit
>See qt from tour, go to her and talk, turned into dancing, turned into grinding
>Date sees this, she mad af and leaves
>Go to qt
>"Looks like I'm not going to get lucky tonight."
>"Keep this up and you are."
>"'Nah, my date left, you saw that blonde right? She was sleeping over and shes mad for some reason."
>Qt's world looks shattered, she thought I was constantly talking about her
>Qt tells me to fuck off
>I'm confused

I did not realize I was flirting with her untill a week after. Cockblocked myself twice in a night with stunners.

user...

Got me with this one kek

I got mired thou. 2 week later I was dating the dates best friend aswell, fucked that up by going over to a friend of her, who was a past good friends major crush and ex. I'm not very good with social and relationship cues. I just wanted to chill with her but she and everyone else assumed we were gonna fuck. Ofcourse that friendship and my relationship ended because of that.

I'm not good in relationships and keeping other peoples emotions into account.

ahahahaha

Geez dude

It happens

P-post beast bod autist Chad

N-no, never heard it except for that one time. I just look like I lift and normal people without body dysmorphia that dont look at big af guys on a chinese nicknackproduction forum I appeae big.

Wow, that's some impressive autism.

And trips to boot.
Even I would have figured out this social situation

holy shit those digits
>trip trips?

Not really mirin in the traditional sense but this still made me feel good.

>Be former competitive oly lifter
>Be 6'4, 315lbs but look like linebacker
>Went to doctor for check-up
>Cute asian female doctor fresh out of UCLA

>"I must say Mr. user, when I saw your weight on the chart, I was expecting something completely different. I had already grabbed some diet pamphlets. You carry that weight well."

post your body.

Post body, no way you're not a fatty

...

Alpha as fuck

he's bloating

>pre-carnival in rio de janeiro
>be ottermode with good delts and back
>bitches and fags mirin the whole day

Feels good man, first time being low bf in my life, complete game changer. Feels good seeing women looking at your body, talking about it with her friends, same girl looking multiple times, etc... Life with developed abs and

Also, 90% of the bitches that come to talk to me even in everyday life always squeeze my arms or pass the hands on my shoulders

>Sister hides and scare me coming out of the bathroom.
>I get startled, tense up in my singlet and jump.
>she snap chatted the whole thing
>send it to her girl friends
>sister told me they all freaked out and said I'm buff af.

>that feel when you're a manlet so this doesn't happen to you

She wants the D

lmao bruh im 5'8 and the friends that i was with were 5'11+

it'll happen on Tuesday or Wednesday

>thots
But fuck man, if you're looking for a relationship you're shit out of luck.

honestly you should fuck your sister and her friends. Imagine how hot that would be.

European? How'd you get into a bar at 18?

>walk out of uni bathroom shirtless
>group of drunk roasties walk by
>one tells me I have a nice bod
>sperg out mumble hey then shimmy to my room

A girl statistically unattractive.

You do realise that it's weird that you have to be 21 don't you?

>start getting into lifting, only one in friend group who does
>already got good face, 6'
>in the gym the other day working back
>notice an chubby manlet looking across at me while I'm doing lat presses
>looks at me like I'm everything he aims to be

Felt way better than mires from roasties or even when my gf wants to squeeze my bicep

>one of them blurts out ‘SHE WANTS TO SUCK YOUR DICK’
reply "only if you buy me a drink"

how well would this work?

>oi give me some of that whip cream

>dating the dates
Seriously you Murricans are destroying English language.

I got a job in a restaurant to flirt with customers but discovered that since I am the only straight man working there who isn't a beta manlet or a poo-in-loo chef that I don't need to try and pull customers because the female/gay staff are mirin every single day almost non stop. It's kind of crazy.

>manager says shes tired and needs a hug
>tell her if she hugs me I'm probably gonna grab her ass
>she hugs me and I squeeze her thicc behind
>'ooh that felt nice actually'
>now she hugs me like 5 times a day to get her ass touched

>'user I've got some good news and bad news'
>'whats the bad news'
>'you've got to close down the bar alone tonight'
>'shit. whats the good news.'
>'you're really tall and good looking.'
>'y-you too'

>19 year old girl starts and I've got to train her
>she keep mentioning my chest and how she can see my nipples
>she pinches them and i pinch her nipple back
>momentarily worry that I've gone too far and i'm gonna get fired for sexual harrassment
>she makes a shocked smiling face and says 'my boyfriend is picking me up later, you probably shouldnt do that while he's here'

>slutty Hungarian girl is talking about her ideal boyfriend
>'tall, maybe some muscles, he needs to be maybe a bit of an asshole. And er...how you say...' *makes the universal sign language for big penis*
>all the girls turn around and look at me knowingly, then start giggling

I've got a million of these, I'm considering going full time at the restaurant because the ego boosting attention is addictive

It's stupid actually.

the fuck? why is this a copypasta?

You're gonna get fired.
Soon.

Nice work dude. Don't slack off. Take charge. Wake up earlier. Pay attention more. You could be a god.

Fucking manlets, am I right? Never gonna learn.

it would work great

repost?

What is some good cardio to help lose fat I've had a really hard time in losing weight at the point where I'm at now

swimming
HIIT

The virgin chad

>grad school mates are full NYR
>they invite me to the gym with them
>go to the uni gym on Wednesday
>they do cardio as I am getting to the gym
>arrive, they are benching
>but for me, it's pull day
>start setting up for DLing
>warm up
>get to LMAO2PLAET111!1
>"bro, that's pretty strong"
>"I'm going to do my working set now"
>do 295 lbs x 5 (currently cutting)
>"wow that's pretty strong"
>gf of one of them says "I could see the bar bend"
>they ask me to teach them how to DL

>>they invite me to the gym with them
>>go to the uni gym on Wednesday
>>they do cardio as I am getting to the gym
>>arrive, they are benching
>>but for me, it's pull day
>>start setting up for DLing
>>warm up
>>get to LMAO2PLAET111!1
>>"bro, that's pretty strong"
is this bait? lmao

This happened to me about 3 months ago

>be me
>enjoying sweet noob gains combined with dbol
>new haircut
>visit senpai
>cousin (15) exclaims "pecs" and feels my chest for 10-20 seconds
>asks if I've been working out
>flex arm "you tell me"
>"oh my god"
>holds my arm as we walk along the street with her friend later that day
>touches my abs at dinner
>"solid"

>mfw

>bar bending with 295lb

It's an old meme sir, but it checks out.

beta detected

kek'd

looking thick, solid, tight. keep us updated on your progress

...

I have some anti-mires

>go back home for Christmas
>grandma visits
>that night she calls at 3 in the morning, crying, saying I got so fat that she's praying to Jesus to help me
>says I'll die alone and a virgin
>asks if I can even see my dick due to all the fat
>says fat people have tiny dicks, and the fatter you get, the smaller it gets
>I'm 6'1" and 240lbs, virgin, with a 5"x4" pencil dick
Should I an hero?

Get swole to win your grandma back!

rape her

Why is your grandmother concerned with the size of your penis?

Eh, why should I? She considers me a dissapointment. Always did. No matter how good my grades were, or what I did. I'm just her only grandchild. She doesn't even like her daughter, my mom, that much. My dad was like that too. All I can remember from my childhood is "look at this kid doing X, why are you not doing it". I wanted to learn German,play the Piano, but they just pushed me into different sports, but excluded martial arts, which I liked. Then again, my dad always loved his brother and parents more than us.

I wish I could be mad, but truth is,they're paying for Uni and they both work hard, so I don't have the moral high ground. But it's clear I was always a dissapointment. I never "missed" anything, but I get the feeling they wanted someone... different.

Can't, cock is too small.

Calling at 3 in the morning, crying,telling me to ask Jesus for help didn't tell you enough? She's crazy. She's spent about 5k on wooden crosses,thinking she's buying Holy Wood.

Does it count as a mire if people complement the new clothes I'm wearing because I've lost weight?

What if they are my teenage students?

fishing for (You's)

But it's a good repost. I stole that "if I hug you, I'm probably going to grab your ass" line and it works. I feel way closer to my aunt and grandma now.

>I feel way closer to my aunt and grandma now.
elaborate?

Jokes aren't supposed to be explained.

I worked as a security guard on Staten Island long enough to tell you to avoid those fucking thots. I mean, you shouldn't even need somebody to tell you to curve those worthless shit-sacs

this is a mire thread but I’m curious if you have any good stories

>user you're so tall
>if my ex saw us together he'd definitely try to fight you... but i think you'd win hehe
>it's crazy the difference in our height
>like how would we even kiss?
>oh user i found a facebook post about small girls kissing tall men hehe at least we know how we'd kiss
>omg user did you feel that moment earlier tonight? like it felt like we were so close to kissing
>it's crazy how much you can tell from a kiss isn't it user? i'm nervous about kissing my first boy after my ex because everyone has a different style, ya know?
>i bet your style is very soft and lovely
>user my ex heard we were hanging out and started calling me and telling me to just fucking kiss you already he was so angry for some reason haha
>my mum said the same thing too
>my brother saw us together and asked who my new bf was
>omg everyone in class already thinks we're a couple that's so weird
>some guy you don't know also told me that you like me user
>user i felt another moment there on saturday
>user, i'm feeling deja vu (my arm was resting around her waist in a dimly lit room with just us two with Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" playing)

Guess who didn't kiss her through ALL of that.

>user we should meet up over the christmas break, there's my train now (hesitates for a solid 30 seconds just staring up at me)
>goes home
>get a text 2 hours later saying "user i'm gonna have to stop talking to you for a bit because my head is such a muddled mess"
Guess who no longer talks to me.

Does it still count as miring if you want to kill yourself afterwards?

not that this isn't mirin status but she sounds mentally unstable

I'm 100% certain now that she was. She gave me all this shit about us being fated to meet and how I might be the one and all this bollocks. Went 0-100 fucking overnight on me and then 100-0 when I didn't respond in an equally 0-100 manner.

Thing is, I was actually planning to kiss her the first time we met up over the Christmas break but that of course never came to be. Weird how life works out.

dont get it

This is Veeky Forums, that's the only thing that counts as a mire

Dodged a crazy bullet there user, well done.

She's so fucking cute though and she's a good friend. Part of me wishes I'd bit that crazy bullet just to see what it's like.

Can't believe you people are still going after mires. Got mired on the daily until realising it's not that fulfilling as some of you make it be.

Don't stick your dick in crazy, user.

But her puss would be so fucking tight.

Doesn't matter anyway, she told me she doesn't have feelings for me anymore because we argued and I called her a cunt lol

>Ex girlfriend is in town
>She's literally a nympho
>Does anal, swallows
>A total bombshell 9/10 latina gal
>We're hangin' out and fucking around the whole time she's in town but we also just hang out like old times
>We do to a bar, and we're sitting by the fire outside
>She tells me I have really big quads
>t-rex mode acheived
>feelsgoodman.png

Went to a rave and saw Astrix yesterday with my festival gang (close friends) I haven't met in 6 months, one of the hot girls said something in the style of "Hey user, you've gone buff :)" so yeah it's only noob gains but i have a good bone structure so my delts look big

fuck them and their condescending self centered expectations user, the only bar you must surpass is the one you set for yourself.

Lose fat, get swole, improve your life for your own gain, remember, the only person that will guaranteed be with you until the end is you, so you better start working to like the man in the mirror.

>i call her a cunt
good move user

a girl asking for statutory rape

cheers m8. in my defence, she was acting like a bit of a cunt. had it been literally anyone else i know, i'd have just cut them from my life but i've known her for years and we've always been "more than friends" according to her, which i can understand by how we get on with each other.

Who is the guy next to zyzz?

She was probably acting like a cunt because you keep friendzoning her even though you seem to show real interest in her as a partner from time to time but turn into turbo autist boy everytime she tries to take the initiative.

Toying with peoples feelings is a douchebag move, even if its by accidental autism. I understand you, i've been where you are, stop that shit or make a move.

Protip: you will really wanna kill yourself once she moves on to another dude. she will be over you once that happens and that "precious friendship" you wanted to keep intact will be gone forever.

295???? dude that's gay

You're not wrong. I'm aware of that now. It didn't actually click into my head how awful it must feel to essentially be rejected perpetually every day for months straight. I feel bad about it, but seeing as she's said she's lost any feelings she had, I'll probably just lay off. Too late to make a move now.

She was the one who begged to keep the friendship alive though. I tried to cut it off after the argument for both our sakes, but she was adamant. We don't see each other outside uni anymore because we live 40 miles apart, so I'll likely never actually see her with another guy, so that's not a concern either.

Slightly worried about her reaction when I mention off-hand that I've got a date for Valentine's because I know the other autist in our little uni group is going to ask if anyone has plans and when I say my plans, he's going to assume it's with her, and then there'll be that awkward moment where I have to clarify that it's not with her.

Dunno. If another "moment" happens, I might just go for it. Even if it nukes the friendship.

How did you stop getting mired after realizing it wasnt fulfilling? Bloatmaxxed? Just bloat?