Could a man beat a baboon

Chimps are dirty fightin motherfuckers. They immediately go for the nuts and will bite any loose skin (lips, eyelids, ears) off your face. Plus their manlet size gives them better leverage. Unless I got a big ass stick or a knife I'd rather not.

>manlet size gives them better leverage

Leverage is force times distance

>Plus their manlet size gives them better leverage
...what?

Easy, I read several studys showing the claim that chimps are 8x stronger than gigachads is bullshit, and they're only about 1x stronger (0.25x stronger than me)
and that's p4p, so considering they're shorter than me (6'5) they're probably not that strong
most of the people who die from chimp attacks are weak antifas, manlets and soyboys n shit
I honestly could to take on a chimpanzee
hell probably a gorilla and a orangutan on a good day
I'm a big guy (for you), I deadlift 600lb and I weigh 240lb so I'm way stronger than a you, also I train Kung Fu Monkey Style and several samurai sword techniques so I could probably teleport behind him and whisper *nothing personel kid* in his ear before I unsheath my tempered steel katana and unleash my final form (see my lift(s) above)

You fucking betas disgust me

Pops went to SA to hunt and told me about a 'nam vet that would hunt baboons. He would first shoot them around the belly area, and then go for the kill with a knife. Not sure if it's believable, cause the ones who told him about it were the trackers, not the man himself. Anyway, I believe it's doable but we need some leverage like the vietnam guy.

I want to share a story my brother told me about Africa:

>be in Africa
>working close to the jungle (working the mines)
>staying with a local village at night because they live near the mine
>one night boss decides to put on a movie for the local villagers with a huge projector screen
>about 30 villagers very excited happily watching a shitty movie in the middle of the jungle
>brother's work colleague notices but 1 villager NOT facing and watching the movies but facing the opposite way looking at the dark jungle
>thinks nothing of it
>the villager facing the other way swaps out for another villager who does the same thing (watching the dark jungle)
>5 mins pass and another villager swaps
>eventually work colleague asks his boss "hey mate, why do they keep doing that? don't they want to watch the movie?"
>boss responds: "Well user, a few kids have been kidnapped from the village so 1 person always has to be on the lookout."
>work colleague: "Kidnapped? like.. from rebels or something?"
>Boss replies: "Nah, from baboons."

Also, they live in corrugated iron huts, with no walls/windows etc under trees (in the jungle) so at night cheetahs actually kidnap and kill people in their sleep. They say you can tell by the sound they make when landing on the roof whether its a baboon (safe) or a leopard (you're fucked). One night a leopard landed on their roof.

lmfao

yeah just shoot them

I’d love to fucking kill a monkey, any type. There is something about monkeys, their uncanny resemblance to us makes me want to kill them for some reason

get the fuck out of here dirty phillipino nigger.

Anyway you can beat a baboon in a fight, they aren't good fighters and rely on bluff to survive any engagements with actual predators. They are generally very weak in comparison to other primates.

They’ll rip your face off

I KNOW! id love to see a chimp scream in terror and lose its smugness (if they do even have smugness) as i pull its arms out of their sockets and punch through its skull.

...

Have you seen the fangs on those things ?

The nostrils makes his snout look like a jumping spider.

> I deadlift 400 and weigh 240
user I weigh 160, am 5'11", am 18 years old and have been living for a year. There were at least 5 guys at my highschool who could dl 500+ lbs and I can dl 400lbs
Stop thinking your strong because you're fat

Holy shit. Real?

NVM looked it up and it's a shitty asian-canadian fucking with a bear and surviving unharmed.

Imagine actually beating one of these things.

I'm straight but I would suck his dick

We are humans, the least retarted of the apes
We CAN win against one, but by using our brain: using ambush, trowing rocks, blinding them, using a spear or knife, fight in the water to drown them etc etc
As human we must use everything to our advantage.

stop posting this garbage

Also: trwoing sand at their eyes or doing something to tired them out

>No human could beat any animal because humans are weak

> 18 years old.
> Living for a year.
What did he mean by this?

Gorillas, largest of the primates, are regularly killed by catlet leopards. Dont drink the primate coolaid, while vicious they are overblown in their ability to prey on other animals. Thats why they eat mostly plants and dont go around killing tigers and shit

I think he meant "lifting" not "living"

I agree with you that gorillas and primates are overhyped to hell and back. But gorillas don't prey on things because they are literally herbivores. With slight omnivore tendencies like eating insects

You are underestimating big cats. Leopards are insanely strong and have a fistful of steakknives

You wouldn't last 3 min you hairless fuck

This is navy seal tier

>30 posts in and no Joe Rogan

is this the tiger thing but with a chimp

I dunno, you miss the first swing that ape would be up one side of you and down the other, literally. Sayonara face, genitals, hands.

>could a human beat a baboon in a fight?
Yes but they need good wrestling, didn't you catch Stipe Miocic's latest fight?

>what is centre of gravity for 100, Alex

> Fighting something whose first defensive instinct would be to bite your face off.

Its our first instinct too dummy, ever notice how kids always bite things and each other when fighting? its the easiest way for any weak animal (or really most animals) to inflict a lot of damage.

Chimps' insertions are farther away from their joints (in the arm, their elbow), giving them better leverage.

Saved.

Which predator could a grown man actually take on with his bare hands?

maybe an ocelot

stray dog

I would say a great white shark is a good match for a grown man without completely shredding him. If you can manage to go for the eyes or start pounding the shit out of its head, you could fuck it up pretty good while you might lose an arm. Something like a tiger or bear is too unrealistic. Those things are way too strong and will easily shred a man to pieces

>great white shark

kek

if ambushing by hanging from a tree and dropping? any bear shy of polar
if just a fight to the death in an arena I think big cats are a good match (maybe favoring humans though). There was an instance of an old lady choking out and killing a mountain lion while it clawed her.

>be NIGeria
>have your 9 children dragged away by baboon, leopard and shit
>still live in wall-less hut
>yfw

If a shark comes up out of somewhere and grabs you, it’s peobably not gonna be an instant death. It’s eyes are right up in your face so if you act quickly, you could fuck it up. Debate me, nigger

if a great white nigger bites you it's going to crush and slam around your fucking skeleton like a soda can

BRAAAAAAAAP

how can they be so stupid

it's less about intelligence and more about not having the means or resources to make something better or leave

Let's not kid ourselves. It's largely due to intelligence. Africa has an abundant amount of natural resources yet the whole continent is one big shithole except for the white parts.

>Not raping it to show dominance after winning the fight.

Maybe, but some cats are fucking vicious

Theres a reason humans evolved to use weapons

This just made my day

it's easy, you should film yourself doing it and shut Veeky Forums up forever
everyone will know you're badass and they were wrong, what's the downside?

lmao discovered metalworking how many thousands of years ago and have never thought to just drive the fuckers out

no, you're absolutely right, you could totally fight a great white shark in the ocean
if a shark grabs you first it puts you in a perfect position to poke it's eye

...

the amount of delusion here is incredible

One of those really small dogs those chinese girls keep as pets

>White part has the most AIDS
Makes you think

the white part is also total anarchy due to niggers. do you think they can just go up to random tribal niggers in the desert and ask if they have AIDS?

they take our women
let's take theirs right back

Yes, easily. They're fucking retarded.

I would rather fight a bear than any fucking simian or large prosimian. They are like humans with a strength of a giant and teeth that of a boar, but lack any fucking empathy. They would mercilessly shred you to shit, torture you and eat you alive

Imagine believing any of this

Not total bullshit. You could easily best a chimp if you're good at a kicking martial art. A decently fit person can leg press more than 500lb a couple of good kicks and you'll probably be able to disable it. That being said you have to be fast and hope the chimp doesn't grab a limb.

bears will literally eat your face. They don't have the great killing technique that dogs or cats have. Also every primate bar orangutans or gorillas are weaker than humans. Chimps are roughly equal.

You go and fight a fucking baboon, I will laugh when it will tear off your dick and chew on it while you're bleeding out on the ground dying

Baboons aren't chimps. They have sharp canines but they are terrible fighters and are some of the weakest primates/monkeys. Mandrills are the largest and only grow to 90 pounds.

Primates are smart as shit, that's what I'm saying, they'll got for your weak spots. If I was clad in an armor I wouldn't give a fuck, I'm only worried it would poke your eyes out and shit
They don't fight alone though, do they

but OP is referring to a 1v1 situation

I could literally pick one up and throw it against a wall hard enough to shatter it's skull

youtube.com/watch?v=PcnH_TOqi3I&t=38s

Oh yeah then you could probably beat it unless it goes for your dick, neck, face or ears. Humans are stronger but we feel pain and are intimidated as well, I imagine if this fucker screamed at my face I would most likely shit myself
Well you go to the zoo and kill a baboon there, don't forget to record yourself

I could definitely kill it. Baboons can bite with their sharp fangs but they have very little muscle behind those jaws. Meaning the worst they can do is lead behind some holes in your arms. They won't be mangling any fingers, noses, or ears off. Also it's small enough to the point that you can keep it away with kicks. Animals also feel pain dude. This isn't a wolf or a chimp.

I could take on a wolf

I like your digits but there's no way in hell you are taking on a healthy grey wolf.

A wolf, dogs, smaller cat animals and some monkeys I would say. Animals bigger than us are basically impossible to do damage to unless armed, think moose, bears, tigers etc.

aren’t bamboos/monkeys vegans? no fucking way does a soyboy vegan monkey take me in a fight.

why do people think they can take on a 150+ pound dog with a bite capable of crushing moose femur? although "wolf" is a broad term, most people just refer to grey wolves which is a joke to think you can beat one. muscles don't mean shit when the limb they are on is shattered

I'm pretty sure I could take on an otter or a house cat, maybe even coyote

Humans are weak :Alone
Humans are strong: With Tech
Humans are unstoppable: Groups +Tech

Obviously not all dogs and obviously not the average western man would be able to win vs a wolf. This is not winning unscarred, but a stronger than average male would likely win vs an average grey wolf if it were a standoff situation.

no they wouldn't. You go for a headlock and you lose a hand, you go for a kick and your leg is now crippled, you attempt to run away and you're on the ground with 2 jaws stronger than your body closing in on your head. Humans get fucking destroyed by 60lb pitbulls. Pic related is an average for a male mackenzie valley grey wolf.

>I deadlift 400lb and I weigh 240lb

that's fucking EMBARRASSING, you fat little bitch.

>also I train MMA

you mean you practice holds with other tomato cans who give you free openings in your little shit hole in the wall "dojo" you fucking fraud.

this turd is just terrible, from top to bottom. LMFAO.