Could Veeky Forums survive prison?

Any guys here curently in prison, going to prison, or served a sentence? What is prison like? What did you do? I heard there are some cute traps in prison.

I went last year
>be me drug addict drunk
>crash motercycle drunk
>dui 3rd
>sentenced 18 months
>33 days couenteen jakson mi
>3 weeks leval 1 prison
>90 days prison bootcamp
best thing ever happened to me
>clean and sober since I got out in may
>fit as hell
>gained 40lbs
>good job
>own place
>home gym
>have a 3.14 chubby girl with no strins
feels good man
Prison not what you see in the movies if you get fucked it's your fault

Mark R. is that you?

how were you able to gain weight?

does a standard prison meal have enough calories to make gains?

did you have to take the food of other prisoners?

i assume drug addict wasn't eating, now he's not high he has an appetite

>Prison not what you see in the movies if you get fucked it's your fault
This. Just mind your own business and lift weights. Only the obviously insecure and meek men get picked on.

no
>they have weight pits 55lbs bars
>betteter equpment than most gyms
>pull up bars/dip bars every were
>they feed you good loads of beans
>you can trade a cokie for a whole try in the chow hall

boot camp is were I gained the most
>they pt the shit out of you

>not posting greentext

I don't believe you

i have only been to jail but i assume prison has a similar meta to it. days are spent lifting, playing cards, gambling food/commissary. the people in there are very good manipulators so you have to be pretty guarded in what you say/reveal. they will test you to see if you're a pussy. i played cards and gambled my lunch tray and won. the guy didn't give his tray up so that was pretty much the test to see if i would do anything. i had to beat the shit out of him

shitty nutrition sources in prison. everyone is bulked up with sodium and shit

I worked in a level 3 prison in South Carolina. I can tell you that if you have any muscle mass whatsoever, and don't have the misfortune to be put in the dorm with the young guys, you'll probably be alright. Protein is hard to come by in prison, even through the commissary. This leads to most people being scrawny fucks.
My prison also lacked weights, though. May be different in the lower levels.
Just don't be a jackass. Common courtesy goes a long way; take showers, clean up after you take a shit, don't leave your stuff all over your cell for your roomie to deal with. And if you're going in for some serious shit, find your race and stick to them, whichever race that is. Trust me.

jail sucks
I hate to say it but Prison is way better
got there and was like this is it
i'ts like a summer camp I was only leval 1 so everone is going hoe soon
glade I got the boot camp though it shaved off a lot of time
If you go
>don't gamble
>don't steal
>mind your bisness
>don't lend or borrow or acept gifts
>don't be a sochal butterfly
>don't be a chomo (pedo) unless you got money to pay for protection
>and never fucking snitch see no evil hear no evil speak no evil
If you follow these simple rules. You will be just fine

Yes but I don't live in a third world shithole.

I went to prison in Thailand. Lots of trap prostitutes there if that's your thing. I had a girl in the connecting women's prison though that I could bribe the guards to let me see. From what I've heard American prison varies massively facility to facility. Good luck!

>no gamble

I was able to gamble enough food to afford protection that I didn't even need because

>mind your buisness

>American prison varies massively facility to facility.


This is true. Everyone thinks prison is all the same. It depends on a lot of factors though, your crime, the state you live in, federal/state prison, etc. No one will have the same experience.

actually sounds comfy as hell desu, did they teach you some muay thai in prison? if so this just sounds like my ideal vacation

Not where I was but I trained it elsewhere before the legal troubles, being a big westerner you were unlikely to get trouble and there were lots of whiteys there that stuck together plus everybody is corrupt as fuck. I wouldn't recommend it as a vacation its dirty, boring, uncomfortable and the anxiety of not knowing what will happen to you is really shit to deal with. You have no idea whether you will get early release, firing squad or will they just leave you to rot with them. I had health problems when in there that went untreated that were pretty fucking hellish.

Yeah plus it is so decentralised wardens are given a lot of free reign as to how they run the facility, so a good or bad authority could make the world of difference in how day to day life was.

I’ve always heard that gambling in jail only leads to trouble and this story sort of confirms it.

>Guy at party tries to rape friend
>Nearly beat him to death
>Charged with GBH
>Eventually go to trial on OBH
>Magistrate likes me
>Prosecution can't string a narrative because he'd have to admit his client was drunk, using cocaine and attempted rape prior to the assault
>3 month sentence and $10K fine
>Scared shitless
>Spend a month in holding and jail
>Actually get to prison
>Entirely racially segregated
>Stay away from Aboriginals
>Play pool
>Watch TV
>Hang out with some of the more sociable guys
>Go out to tend crops for the market garden
>Share porn
>Present a united front every time Aboriginals want gimmes
>Work out to pass the time
>Lose a lot of weight and get gainz

Only problem I ever had was with junkie Aboriginals trying to steal shit. Turns out prison doesn't make them into fighters, so it's piss easy to smack them around being an average white male.