Is a monthly 1hr professional massage worth it, bros?

is a monthly 1hr professional massage worth it, bros?

I only get massages if theres a happy ending

If you can afford it, yes.

the only massages you should be getting are sports massages, unless you are some fag who wants a gay swedish or stone one to "relax"

absolutely
else when will i show my body to the opposite sex?
i will move job in a month to a company that provides free massage service twice a month, looking forward to it

sometimes i'm not in the mood for HE so i go to legit massage place but by the end of the session i'm so horny i keep blaming myself wtf didn't i go to HE parlours

>tfw going to pop a boner
>tfw dick below average

Yes. Or even weekly if you're single.

Make sure you get a male if you get one. Ive had both the female ones you just kinda lay there and enjoy. The male ones you are an active participant.

sure, why not, but you're doing this for the happy ending? thats pretty sad right? go to clubs and make out with sluts, they will jerk and suck you off on the club bathroom

wait "happy ending" is a porn meme, isn't it? is it really common for you to get a handy by the masseuse?

do you have to say something special or flaunt a tip?

There are rub and tugs all over the world

Go to an asian place and they usually offer it

>get a handy
HOLY SHIT you get a massage AND a cellphone?! That's a great fucking deal! Now all you need is a place that also offers handjobs.

>spotted the potential bratwurst

i am about to start doing weekly sports massages once or twice a week. 30 mins for upper body, 30 for lower when I have mega DOMS. 65$/per session

shit seriously helps and fuck foam rolling, id rather pay for someone to rub me. not interested in happy endings. i dont even want to get naked

T-this can't be real... Right?
What degenerate would even patronize such a place... Right guys?...

>Wife buys us both massages for my birthday
>Never done it before, only given them
>Get to place
>Waiting for like 30 min
>They Take us back to room with two tables, leaves for us to undress
>proceed to have a nice throbbing panic attack
>I DON'T WANNA DO THIS I DON'T WANNA DO THIS IT'S WEIRD I DON'T KNOW THIS LADY
>wife starts crying because I ruined her present
>masoose lady consoles her
>leave
Help

Where do you live?

yes. go to a massage therapist and get a sports massage. the hardcore one that hurts like fuck, but does wonders to your body.

find out were you have muscle knots or tense muscle beforehand, research what leads to those so your therapist can properly adjust the issue. you need to do this yourself, otherwise many will just keep you there for extra hours.

it depends on who does the massage

w-what kind of fag are you?

How the fuck did you even obtain a wife with that level of cuckxiety?

You honestly got that shook from a couples massage? Kys

>get sports massage for my legs
>think this is gonna be relaxing as fuck
>some old fart gets really fucking deep into the muscles and it feels like im being raped
it was worth it thought

This happens in literally every asian salon I've been to. Atleast in the Netherlands.

And it's not just handjobs

Any place where prostitution is legal, but brothels are not, the massage places are de facto brothels.

Holy fucking shit are you 12?

It's not a real massage place. It's a brothel with the plausible deniability of a massage parlor.

theres an app for that, I think it's called rubmaps

my thai massage uses her finger to massage my prostate. i guess she's bored and wants it over quickly, but i like it.

Dunno. Never had an issue like that in my life