Normalfags start talking about health and fitness

>"red tea has a lot of protein!"
>"why don't you drink user??"

>Don't eat egg yolks. Fats will make you fat and cholesterol will increase your body cholesterol.

>oh, user, i'd love to work out but my fibromyalgia...

>>Cigarettes don't make me fat
wut

>user, girls dont like fit/aesthetic guys
>it's all about personality
>nah man, i'm fine with cardio
>i don't lift, i use machines
>show me how to gain muscle
>6 million died on the holocaust
>jewish conspiracy loooool

>you can't just not eat, your body will go into starvation mode

>i dream about running a marathon

>it's so hard to hit your delts properly, i do like 30 exercises every time to make sure i work them hard

w-what

>sitting there and taking that verbal daterape
Could you be any more beta?

>know a fuckload about health and nutrition from lurking Veeky Forums and from learning about it in the military
>I'm pretty fat, cutting now to lose weight, but didn't have the discipline for it before
>everyone thought my knowledge was bullshit because I'm fat

I'll show the cunts.

More of a /fast/ post here
>user, you don't know what you're talking about
>if you don't eat you'll lose more muscle than fat
how does that even make sense?
>that's...that's just how it is user
my PR's haven't gone down though
>j--jus---well---do your research and you'll see I'm right
I've read numerous studies to back up my claims as well as fasted for 3 days straight several times
>*shakes head*
Stay fat and weak normalfags

>>Cigarettes don't make me fat
redpill me on this user

>show me how to gain muscle
>6 million died on the holocaust
>t. /fitpol/

>You shouldn't drink cum for gains
At the very least you're recycling proteins right? How's it been going for you?

>everyone thought my knowledge was bullshit because I'm fat
I'm in the same boat here. I've learned not to give people any advice unless you're a MADKUNT with gains to back it up. I'm probably just not gonna give anyone advice anymore unless they ask. People really don't appreciate it when you give them a fucking golden nugget of truth.

>At the very least you're recycling proteins right?
That's what I thought too but cum actually metabolizes into estrogen.

>I'm an endomorph
>when you get older your metabolism will slow down and you'll get fat

Cigarettes suppress hunger. I used to smoke and sometimes i'd miss lunch and not even notice or feel hungry in the slightest.

>I used to be big like you when I worked out more/was younger/whatever

No you didn’t.

>dont worry about your height, just lift and you'll get a gf
Nah. You can just not be autistic though

Slower metabolism is slightly true, though its not directly. Your body literally just loses its nutritional turnover efficiency the longer you are alive.

So much this, plus every fat middle aged man that looks like he's never lifted a weight in his life saying
>yeah I used to bench 350lbs
And it's ALWAYS 350, or 400.

I'd think it would have more to do with the decrease in testosterone production.

>I trying to lose weight
>'I'm doing P90x insanity, the warm up is like a proper exercise teehee'
>I paid £100 for the P90x because if I spent that money on the gym I wouldn't go all the time.
>I don't want to get too bulky
>I just want to be toned

>It's all body type and genetics, you will never ever make it, it's impossible for you to develop a good physique
Not entirely wrong, but such a statement can only be made after trying

>normalfags/normies
If that's what they are called what are you called?

Candyass
F aggot

>I only want to lose belly fat ,that's why i do 20 crunches everyday hehe

>why would you want to lose fat user? you're already in shape. it's not healthy for you.

>when 4banger is over 2l

>ew i don't want to look like a bodybuilder
>you're working out too much user
>don't destroy your health with these unnatural supplements
>yeah i'd like to but i'm very busy
>look user, those are REAL muscles

Candyass I could maybe see like some old guy calling you, if you're a girl different connotation. Faggot though, I've never heard anyone say that irl. You must hang around immature people.

>You shouldn't be using those protein shakes, sometimes they put performance enhancers in there

FUCK where do i get one of those

>FUCK where do i get one of those

>>FUCK where do i get one of those

People generally don't give me advice anymore because I assume they see I can handle this. It's nice to be supported.

I get some odd stuff like a guy asking me my leg press 1RM

fucking this

your newfaggotry is showing

Correct, when you stop smoking many people fill in the cravings with food.

im closeted fasting precisely to avoid this

i have this DYEL in my class that drinks soy mealreplacements, takes like 12 different vitamin and fishoil pills with him to school, drinks like 2 protein shakes a day. He has been going to the gym for like a year and looks like shit.
He accused me of doing steroids because i don't look like shit after doing powerlifting for 5 years.
Since im in STEM most of the guys in my class are scrawny nerds. I don't really talk about my training unless someone asks, but this guy is the complete opposite, hear him telling guys to do brosplits, that they should do 12x3 for squat, dead, push and bench since 5x5 just builds strength and not size.
He seriously said he doesn't train legs because he has "huge" legs as it is (he doesn't).
I seriously can't wait until he snaps his shit up.

He acts just lie the guy in this clip:
youtube.com/watch?v=viQnHOXyqEg

>Campus gym
>"Whoa user, I just squatted 190lbs, crazy right?"
>Pussy pad
>45 degree femur angle, not even memeing
No you fucking didn't

>Same day, different normie
>Finish last set of 220 bench press (inb4 dyel)
>"Whoa, nice numbers user! I used to be pretty close to you when I trained, 200 lbs on the smith machine"
No you fucking weren't

>You shouldn't eat anymore after 6 pm.
Girls at my new workplace say stuff like this all the time.

>Super Normie wants to join a gym, for aesthetics mainly
>Recommend him a decent gym and some very basic lifting advice
>instead he joins a meme fitness club
>hires a personal trainer for EVERY SINGLE SESSION
>Has him doing total meme workouts rolling around on balls and jumping around
>he looks identical after 2 months
PT's are the biggest scam out there, you perhaps need them once to show you the ropes and then they can fuck off.

gfs father always tells me shit like this.
always comments on my diet.
he is round.

>Didn't you say you were full? Why are you eating a salad?
>"I'm trying to lose weight"

I have an experience that's the opposite of the thread's theme.

>been lifting for a month so still in dyel mode
>see a guy deadlifting 140kg
>worst form I've ever seen, total cat back
>physically cringe and get rather scared for the guy
>approach him and tell him how he should keep his back neutral
>contemptly pretends to listen to me
>keep lifting with his retarded form

I hope he's alright

>[friend or relative] eats so much worse than I do but is so skinny!
>Well they probably eat less or exercise more
>no, I know that's not true because [specific instance in which this person ate something worse than I did]
Oh, that explains it.

Holy shit, I heard this today

Le Frog Army

>PT's are the biggest scam out there, you perhaps need them once to show you the ropes and then they can fuck off.
Even PTs realize that the repeat customers are basically just undisciplined, unmotivated people who want a workout buddy. They need someone there to kick them in the ass or they won't put in any work at all. (They still don't)

Can you explain that pic?

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
EVERY TIME
also, every one of my friends
>it's funny how muscles don't really mean much, i mean Marrywether could beat you up easily
>i bet you can't even run with all those muscles, that's what you get for not doing cardio :)

>Getting good at deadlifts
>some dyel comes up to me
>tries to give me form advice
>physically touches me back and butt
>uhhuhh, sure buddy
>Go back to deadlifting
>he's in the corner doing meme lifts and keeps sneaking looks at me
Secret gym gays at the worst

Even someone who does 5 mins of cardio as a warmup for their lifts is gonna be able to run faster and longer than the average schlub off the street. I don't see a point to lots of cardio unless you're doing a very hard cut or into sport like boxing.

I know it's a long distance, but something like a half marathon (which normal people will aim for first) sounds very achievable to me. Realistically, how long can someone with 3 months training jog for before their body physically shuts down? I'd imagine most people can do a half.

>been lifting 10years since 15
>workout 2h per day
>3 months from summer
>"i'm going to sign up to a gym, summers coming!!"

Hahaha fuck. This hit home

James.

jesus christ could you be more of a redditfag

Well sure, you don't take fitness advice from a fat person.

This pic reminds me how I wanted to be a twink superstar, but just ended up falling down the thick rugby cub rabbit hole.

Audible kek

Always suspected Veeky Forums hyperbole when it came to normie shit like this till it happened to me
>work in fast food when i was 17
>had a solid year of newbie gains skinny fat mate starts to notice
>wants to come to the gym with me i say sure and im willing to show him my routine and shit
>after every set tells me he used to be able to do so much more weight than I'm when he used to lift
>humour him until we get to bench
>bench 1.5pl8
>tells me straight faced he used to bench 2 plate and that he was stronger than me
>check his instagram, hes always been skinnyfat
fast forward 3 years, he still hits the gym weekly and still looks like shit, i asked him what his routine is and he said just cardio to look shredded, and by cardio he means 40 mins on the elliptical

I shall comandere this picture from thee. Stat!

>toned...
>Toned...
>TONED...

>you need minimum 48 hours of rest between workouts

>Ohp is all what you need to train delts
I heard this from you Veeky Forums

Ok user...redpill me on the 48 hr rest theory.

Got source on that?

Your muscles spend 48 growing after each workout, and somehow working out again within that timeframe destroys them.
A college told me this after I said I work out 5 times a week

>pushups will get you big it's all you need

>guys on steroids aren't strong it's all fake muscle

Can't count how many times I've heard this shit. I don't juice but i know guys who do and they are strong as fuck

>cigarettes don't make me fat

Thanks user. I (unironically) do SS and I have significantly gotten stronger as I rested in between days.

They weren't lying

>sister tells me that she wears some fucking meme shit around her waist that makes her sweat 'because she wants to lose belly fat and sweating makes you lose weight'
>explain to her that that's all bullshit and she should go for more runs
>she insists that her legs will get too muscular if she runs too often
>after telling her she isnt going to gain any mass if she's eating less she exclaims with the smug asuredness of a retarded child 'haven't you ever heard of toning? Excercise makes your muscles bigger, stop avting like you know how women's bodies work we're totally different to men'.

Why is she such a brainlet lads? I mean really I love her but she's got the mind of a 12 year old

>Why is she such a brainlet lads
genetics

you know fat fucks are probably experts in nutrition after trying to lose weight dozens of times

>Why is she such a brainlet lads?
She’s a woman. They’re all like that. Their brains don’t develop past puberty. They’re literally stuck with the mind of a twelve-year-old for their whole lives. Nice Tony by the way.

She wants a man to come talk to her.

kekked

Give her a good beating for being so arrogant.

Hating on eggs makes me mad. Eggs are the perfect food with ideal macros.

>If you have big muscles, you're gonna have a heart attack! Heart can't handle big muscles!

P90X works if you actually do it, but you're getting plyometric strength not gains.

Creatine?! don't do steroids user, they are illegal.

Creatine ruins your kidneys!

>i dont want to spend a couple hours in the gym per week. I just dont really have the time for it
>watches the same rehashed (((news))) for 4 hours straight every day after work