Does anyone here use a bidet? Why aren't these things more popular, especially in the U.S.? I bought one that attaches to my existing toilet water line and it absolutely changed my life.
In what other unconventional ways can we take care of our new Veeky Forums bodies? Looking for a few similar ideas.
I bought it but I hate it because if I use another toilet I never feel as clean.
how do you dry your ass? tp?
ayy brah tremendous to hear. I do not respect people if I find out they drywipe their ass.
How is spraying a jet of water up your shitty asshole, which in turn splashes shitty water all over your ass and toilet, considered a cleaner option than wiping? Just hop in the shower and give yourself the old soapy finger.
Honestly, you're going to have shit particles all over you after going so the best option is a shower and clean clothes afterward.
>shooting water in your asshole is lifechanging
I have that exact model. It's less than $30 on Amazon. Had it for five years now and yeah, it's changed my life.
>self-administered enemas at the turn of a dial aren't lifechanging
Ok kid
>A healthy human being shits about 3 times a day
>showering 3 times a day
>implying you'll always have a shower available
>that water sprays up to your ass and in fact does make it cleaner
>water that flows into a toilet is the same damn water that comes out the shower and sink.
>the old soapy finger
Man why are there so many things wrong with your post?
I have a similar model to that photo. Its amazing.
>let water run
>scrub a bit
>try with tp
Its life changing, feel so clean
Dry*
>shower after every shit
OP here
Yep.
It's disgusting to go without one and walk around on a hot day
Yes. No wiping, only patting. Feels super fucking fresh.
Here in the States I know exactly 0 people besides me that have one of these
It doesn't "splash" anywhere necessarily, most people set them just to "rinse" and not "blast"
Also I agree with and . Very few people have time for 3 showers a day.
It's the feeling of "not walking around on a hot day with shit wiped all over your sweaty asshole"
I had one when I lived in Korea. When I returned to the US, I ordered that exact same model of bidet.
>3 times a day
that's really extreme, not the average at all.
why not just use baby wipes? its what i use. also has anyone successfully gotten rid of hyper-pigmentation on their back?
I have one, changed my life. After coming back from Japan I couldn't live without it. Like realizing you've been living in a sewer your whole life.
What if you have a hairy ass? How would you dry that
Argentinian fag here.
In our 3rd world country we have one of those in every bathroom
There's supposed to be a towel next to it to be used exclusively for drying up your butt
It's honestly weird how we see using only TP as normal. It's the equivalent of getting shit on your arms/hands and only wiping it off with paper. Who the fuck wouldn't at LEAST use water
>A healthy human being shits about 3 times a day
Yeah it's bizarre and actually a bit disappointing in a way desu. First time I realised this was in Thailand where they have 'butt guns' and it was fucking life changing. Fair enough the weather in Europe, especially the UK, isn't as hot all the time so you're less likely to walk around with a sweaty shit smeared arse but even then the level of hygiene is just totally different. Why the west doesn't embrace this stuff I'll never know, we even invented bidets and people don't have those any more. Don't people want to be clean?
Um. So it uses cold water?
Cold water is freeeezing where i live. That cant feel very good
>A healthy human being shits about 3 times a day
>the virgin tp dry wiper.
Seriously, if you havent tried it you have zero (0) idea what you are missing, everytime you talk about it all you do is demonstrate your ignorance.
You dont need a towel, just pat your ass with toilet paper until dry. As another user said, DO NOT WIPE, just pat.
>not doing IF so you only shit once a day
>not timing it so you get the urge to purge immediately after waking up
feels good man
OP back again, bustin' out those (you)s
With baby wipes you just get diarrhea wiped over your ass. Plus you can't dispose of them everywhere. Plus $$$
Yep. Fuck what /pol/ says, living without a bidet is true degeneracy.
Just pat it. I believe some models even have small fans for assistance actually, but those ones cost bank
Countries without bidets are the real shitholes. I'm speaking as a burger of course.
Yeah. If you were walking along and stepped in dog shit bare-footed, would you be fine with just wiping it off with some leaves? Probably not, everyone would find some water first.
I'm sure /pol/ has an answer. Anyone here /fitpol/?
Some models are heated. They are more expensive of course.
But the cold is very refreshing actually. Will really wake you up in the morning.
Even your puny one-shit-a-day can become glorious with a bidet.
Wait a minute how do you avoid shitting on the bidet?
It is retractable. Some models just use the water pressure to retract/extend but the fancier ones have a nice little electrical system.
>puny
Excuse you, my daily deuce weighs well over a pound
The larger the deuce, the more inefficient your intestines are. Intestinelets like you should be b&.
>tfw i take a shit at work
>usually my shits are firmer so there's little residue left over, but sometimes i get one of those softer ones that leaves stuff behind
>have to pat and press becuaase if i wipe ill wipe it all over everything
>at the end have to soap up my finger at the sink and rub it up and in my asshole to get it clean, fucking disgusting
>have to pile on soap and hand sanitizer to my finger to get rid of the smell
ive had it
Do u know de wae
To save your coworkers' day?
"install a bidet"
is all I can say
you will NEVER go back to normal toilet paper. Imagine trying to clean your asshole with DRY paper...
Would you use dry paper to get feces off your hands?
Shoo shoo hungry skelly
You don't open doors with your asshole, you clown.
>flushable cleaning cloths
>handing over your shekels to wipe jew chemicals all over your ass
>aren't even flushable
Never compare the bidet to this worthless imitation. Leave this thread at once.
I have a shower head with multiple settings. Just squat ATG in the shower and blast your ass with the pressure setting, works great.
Getting warmer, but still not as good as a bidet.
how dirty do you guys figure everyone assholes in public are, even girls? i partly blame by hairy asshole
They are mostly disgusting. That's why the "swamp ass" meme came up.
Even though I am 100% naturally hairy, the bidet keeps me clean. Just have to make sure I'm dry and wear fabrics according to the season.
but then why is "eating ass" such a big meme?
I have always used a bidet since I live in the middle east
these actually don't flush. ask a plumber, senpai
god tier shit regime: shit in a squatting posture to get a full release (use a big ass pasta pot or w/e), use a strong toilet paper, fold it in half to increase surface strength (learned this the hard way lol), pour on a castile soap dilution, wipe, repeat until white, hose your ass with bidet to rinse away soap residue, (you) me later
It shouldn't be, for Americans.
If your girl has and uses a bidet like pic related, there is no reason you can't eat her ass. Also bidets clean up girls' nethers pretty amazingly.
srs question why is it bad to wipe after? thinkng of getting one but paranoid about leaving poop on my ass
You won't leave anything, they really do clean it all up.
I think it's fine to wipe if you're hairy but otherwise you don't want to be wiping a cloth directly on your asshole, it's abrasive AF and can lead to issues
i've had the best shits of my life in Japan, just cause they have heated bidet seats everywhere.
The entire seat gets heated? Whelp, time to upgrade my bidet
Who else is using the Handheld and portable bidet?? It's simple, cheap, you won't shit on it etc.
didn't know about it, thanks just bought 100k
were you on that /b thread before with that guy who sniffed his towel after wiping his ass?
See that image as to why I made this thread about bidets
Story behind that video?
I believe the girl is his ex, she was drunk and fucking with him
dude, it's heaven.
I shit before I shower (still use toilet paper because I'm not a disgusting pajeet).
I love it, I don't know how people shit without them.
>A healthy human being shits about 3 times a day
No they don't you incel.
A normal human being (not you at all) shits once a day.
If you are shitting 3 times a day you are abnormal. I mean that's a given that you are so hurr durr.
I just shower everytime after I take a shit and rub my asshole real good, so its clean.
You're either a Muhammad or some pastafaggot Antonio, which one is it??
I'm a white dude living in the U.S, nobody I know uses one of these
>inb4 56% meme
No 56% meme, but muslims use it for religious reasons, and Italians for cultural ones
I've heard rumors that in japan the use of bidets are causing people to have weakened sphincter muscles and causing incontinence but I've never bothered to fact check that. Any of you anons ever hear of such a thing or had similar issues.?
Never heard of it but I don't see how it would be possible, all this does is rinse you off
no, everyone uses it for hygiene reasons.
but an easy replacement is wetting toilet paper slightly after traditional wiping. everytime i do this, tons of shit I didn't realize was still caked to my asshole comes right off.
Women's asses are clean because they don't have a bunch of hair to trap shit particles.
how does bidet actually work? I mean fecal matter does not just fall of your ass if you spray some water on it (unless its an extreme powerful spray like a jet), its very often not very dry and and sticks to the skin, I cant see how just spraying water (without any soap also) will remove it
I also have known several people who I later found out used bidet and they were always smelling 'funny' literally like shit mixed with water.not saying bidet doesnt work, but they smelled (maybe they just didnt know how to use it properly)
Shitting underwater is the ultimate
Bidet is a life saver. My asshole is so clean I can have anal sex at the drop of a hat. Its literally an enema everything I shit, the insides are sparkly clean, it gets shit deep inside the rectum so your ass is always ready.
Yes they don't know how to use the bidet properly, you're suppose to use bidet like an enema where the water jet shoots into your boipussi and then you enema the leftover feces out. Its super clean in the inside.
OP here
But then you're just wiping a diarrhea-like mix into your ass, and getting fibers from the toilet paper in there too.
Not every girl is clean-shaven back there, we don't all want our girls to be shaven bare to more easily fulfill pedophilia fantasies
You would think it's weird and that it doesn't work, but the pressure is just enough to wash it all clean without being too much to where it sprays shit everywhere
Also perhaps they didn't know how to use it, it's possible.
God-tier.
You can use it like that, some modes are just to get the shit out of any hairs you might have in the region
>400 lbs sheeboon
>takes shit on bidet
>you use it next
>shit aqua injected into your ass
I like the strong water into your boipussi mode, hold the water in for a few second and then squeeze everything out. The water will carry the leftover feces in you and you'll feel so much lighter in your life, seriously.
>innocence
i can't break it to him, brahs
That's why it's best to have a separate bidet as this girl does
Also unironically bidet has cause me to like anal sex even more, 2D or 3D. People keep saying butt stuffs are disgusting but when you realize how clean your ass can be with a bidet, fapping to anal porn makes more sense because you can relate with it.
>she takes a piss
>some of it gets on toilet seat
>you get to lick it off
aaaaaaaaaaah
heaven
>be argentinian master race
>bidets everywhere, literally cannot find a house without one
>only public restrooms don't have them, and some of them do too
>literally never had to wipe my ass like primitive monkeys do
>get 6 month internship in europe
>"guess I'll have to wipe, haha"
>arrive to new house
>take a crap and engage wiping mode
>paper covered in shit
>wipe again, shit
>wipe 100 times, still shit
>feeling like andy dwyer
>"ok, no more poop coming out"
>wipe the other way
>tons of poop on paper
>"fuck"
>after hundreds of carefully analyzed back and forth wiping motions, finally finish
>toilet is full of paper, has a hard time chugging it
>go for a walk
>after literally 15mins I start feeling uncomfortable
>ass itches
>feel dirty af
>go back
>sit down on toilet and wipe
>paper is brown
>"WAT"
Toilet paper, not even once.
I shit 4 times a day
Americans are disgusting people, they have legit arguments about how many times should they shower a day.
Im originally from Azerbeijan and bidets are used by everyone. When I first moved to america, I was having hard times wiping my ass with a dry ass toilet paper and i was end up using the half of the roll to make sure Im clean. After my experience I realised more than %70 of americans walk around with shit stains up their asses
>I shit 4 times a day
That's because you're a fat fuck who can't stop eating.
kys now
>argentinian master race
stopped reading there
t.
la creatura...
I am 100% white (obviously not an american)
>wake up at 7am
>have coffee
>go for shit
>shower straight after
>get ready for the day
That wasn't so hard, was it? It is almost like you americans can't think for yourselves
with shit-stained ass like that? I wouldn't even consider you white
What if you shit more than once a day? What if you don't have time to shower afterwards? What if you are at work and there is no shower?
how could you? you dont even know what white is
Most people shit once a day, any more than twice really isn't normal. You should at the very least know your schedule so you can pre-empt such matters.
People's bodies work differently though, not everyone can schedule their shits to an hour
That as nothing to do with it, if your diet and meal times are strict then you shouldn't have this problem.
first civilised person in the thread
bidets are for fags that like water running against their sphincter
Wet wipes are great for smearing a paste made of Jew chemicals and shit particles all over your ass.
Have fun with your chapped asshole from wiping sulfates and detergents all over your asshole.
>and Italians for cultural ones
kek, what faggots
fuck your gif buddy
I haven't used TP for years.
I live in a top 10 city in USA.
My commode was built in 1976 (says so on the lid), and ain't no 1/2 liter flusher.
I use a wash/dry system to clean up.
I use everyday napkins. They don't dissolve in water, but my old school commode takes them.
>you drink Guinness.... you know what I mean.
>I stepped in dog shit, I should wash it off.
>A bird shit on me, I should wash it off.
>there is shit on my butt, i should use a thin piece of paper only.
I've never used a bidet, but it makes more sense to me than paper.