How you holding up Veeky Forums

On a bender right now, should kill myself

I enjoyed it, Michael b. Jordan was great in it

I feel good but idk how long it'll last. Constantly plagued by regrets and insecurities that i gotta push back down. My confidence come and go as i keep reminding myself that i have terrible social skills.
Ive been sleeping at 9,waking at 5 to gym, then library to study til 6 every weekday but i still feel like a pos.

Wheres the light at the end of the tunnel that was promised. God fucking dammit i cant find the light

Consumed by depression and anxiety.
Wasted years of my life in a shitty degree, no friends or family, no future.
The older you get the more useless you become and the more of a burden you become for others.

Same. I would recommend rethinking suicide when you're in a more rational, sober state. If you feel the same a week later, it's time to seriously consider your options/wrapping up things you're going to leave behind.

If I see that girl on campus tomorrow, I am saying something to her. I have to shoot my shot.

Like a turd wrapped in glitter paper... so overratted. Nothing original about it. They made reference to a hindu god from india, egyptian god and did yoga poses to fly aircrafts. If african culture was so ancient and awesome they shud have more material to make that shit work but instead they misappropriated other cultures. And the wierest scene was when they had 3 african spies in a south korean casino trying to be inconspicuous, like wtf they stick out like sore thumbs.. they bad guys wud have just picked them out of the crowd without even trying too hard.

Okay
Met a girl, trying to get into a healthy mindset outside of self-doubt and trying to construct some kind of persona that I think she'd want/how I'm supposed to act while also keeping my wits about me.

I have a good amount of size (5'8 181lb about 13% bf) and i went to this party and this girl was feeling up on my arms and we talked and were about to bang bt she was on her period so I got her number and left. Text her and talk for a little bit but she leaves me on read. Stuff like this just makes me feel like shit and honestly Im tired of it

Why arnt u idiots doing cardio?? Thats what i do when i feel depressed. U get a good high in 45 mins of intense cardio. And u can think ur way out of a bad situation.

I have at least 3 women interested in me but the only po be I want is not. Or she just likes the chase, it's a bit 50/50 with her.

I don't want THOTS I just want a pure GF.

Hit'd pointbreak a few days ago.

> been dating this 6/10 qt shuttin girl
> literally only talked to her mom con the phone , sister and people from work.
> get invited to lot of weddings this year.
> everyone : hey user you gotta take someone with you
> first time in years I was happy to say I had one.
> she meanwhile says isnt ready for a relationship yet ( she broke up with a long distance bf like a year ago)
> still go out and always invite her to events or hung with muy friends
> out of the blue she start to cut me off
> hey , whats wrong ?
> I am seeing someone else.
> felt into a knee deep depression
What its worse is that I know she isnt seeing anybody, because shes branded as "the quite girl from work" and literally zero social skills , but hurts that she even invented and excuse and prefer to be alone rather than hang with me.

I've been lifting about 3 months and decided instead of bulking I am going to do hypertrophy training and cut because I want an aesthetic body because for the first time in my life I want to look good for myself.

I am actually kind of mad though because hypertrophy doesn't really allow me to set goals. I love crushing a goal I set for myself, and I just can't think of anything around what I am doing. It kind of kills me.

Poorly. I can't have who I want and the napalm she has injected into my heart gnaws my sanity alive. Of course there are other factors but being ronery is definitely up there.

same bruh

good luck

>DON'T WANT TO SHARE THIS BUT FEELS LIKE I HAVE TO

Anyway, on nofap
Go to the store
QT girl cashier
She asks something, and i told her my name right away, not even sure why, or what the fuck happened
She smiled, laughed and said you;re awesome...

anyway, she probably said do i want a receipt, and for some reason i think she is said what is your name, so i told her my name. I swear i think she said what is your name for some reason..

inb4 autism

could be better

>haven't been on r9k in over a year
>Grades are doing fantastic
>Meal prepping is going well, consistently hitting my calorie goals and gaining weight
>Lifts going up as well, filing up my shirts
>Just realized I got my assignment due tomorrow done early

Feels good man.

You actually missed an opportunity. Whenever you fuck up like that if you play it off you're fine, if you roll with it you will be perceived as an autist. You could've said something like
>"Well now that I told you my name, what is yours?"
Just a lesson for next time, if you're willing to use it.

Not great. I've been in a dark place since my mom died dec 2016. She was my only family and I'm not hung up on it, it's just my depression has coincided with her death. I live in my apt with room mates, have a job, am getting ready to go back to college in 6 months, am in relationship, lift weights 3x per week, and am 30lbs lighter and on my way to being not fat for the first time in my life but I just fucking feel like I'm never happy. There's nothing wrong but I have a shadow of depression that follows me everywhere. I just want to feel happy with my life but my stupid fuck brain keeps making me sad or apathetic.

Being reminded that she is happy without me. Being railed by her boyfriend and whoever else. I ran 3 miles and cried.

Death is rough, especially when it's your family; I lost both of my parents.

There's nothing else to do other than to solider on. Keep struggling, keep working out, keep furthering yourself in mind and body.
You might not be happy for a long time. But you can't shut out the future of being happy by giving up in the moment.
I know talking about the future seems like such bullshit because you identify so strongly in the moment, but time moves on, whether you're happy, sad, angry or depressed.
You need to continue to do the things you're doing right now. They may not be making you happy, but they're sure as fuck keeping you from sinking even lower.

Just keep fighting user.

Slaying inner demons and working towards my goals. Talking to a lot more women, reading more, finally getting definition in my arms and chest, and getting better at martial arts. Even started writing a story. Stay strong anons.

I had a test a few hrs ago and I know I failed it. I should be sad but I'm not. I guess I'm just accepting the fact that I'll have to drop out of school and just continue working at my shitty bar tending job for the rest of my life. I've been here for so long that I just feel like there is no escape.

Girl in PhD program who likes to lift is taken. Know that I'll never meet anyone else like her and I'm doomed to continue the March toward wizardry. Opening old wounds kinda feeling.

are you me?

Stay strong brother

> Going on /pol/ and /r9k/ less
> Going on Veeky Forums more and starting to go on Veeky Forums
> Grades doing well aside from one 66 on a test (submitted late)
> Started deadlifting (max 215)
> Accepting that I'm losing my only female friend (she's engaged and on the other side of the states) - she's made 0 effort to speak to me. It's a shame losing a 5-6 year friendship but her silence speaks volumes
> Playing a lot of Skyrim. Mods really make the game great.
> Steadily getting bigger (6' 185ish lbs) - gonna cut when Spring starts
Overall doing well. Thanks for asking OP

>Light at the end of the tunnel

It doesnt exist

>making 200k a year and getting a lot of attention from dating apps but complaining because WAHHHH MY EX GIRLFRIEND WAHHHHH

fuck off

>I don't want THOTS I just want a pure GF.

Confess to your true bae it is the only whey

Some of my normie friends hail it as gods gift to mankind which is pretty cancerous and makes me hate it even more out of spite, but disregarding that it was pretty average for an origin/solo film. I don’t think the character is that interesting to begin with so I had a hard time loving the film. I don’t think it did anything special.

>95% of Veeky Forums are 18-20 year olds in college
>every post talks about studying and campus
>act like their lives are so difficult

really makes you think

you too man - need some lows to really appreciate the highs of life
I don't make anywhere near 200k, not sure where you got that from

>Cucked on read

Fuck dude, don't let the apathy win.
Is there a chance for remediation? What is holding you back from studying?

Are you motivated in your field, can you see a future in it?
If you don't, it's going to be a hell of a lot harder and you'll need razor sharp discipline to muscle through.
But don't pigeonhole yourself in one future. Unless you have heavy responsibilities such as kids, chronically ill spouse/parents you need to take care of, there's still time for you to pursue what you want.

Go for it bruv, shoot that fucking shot

i cant take My complete and utter social retardation anymore. I'm a 26 old kissless virgin and I haven't had friends since I was around 12 years old or so and that led to my abhorrently pathetic life I live now. I'm so insecure about my lack of sexual experience and lack of friends, social life, and being basically a shut-in that I honestly don't even want to meet people because then they will all see plainly how pathetically I live and they will all reject me because of that. And I'm sure everyone I meet in real life especially coworkers would guess probably right after meeting me that I'm a friendless permavirgin.

Sure I'm ugly as fuck and holocaust skinny, but those pale in comparison to my social issues.

Why do school shootings happen to good kids but not me.

this desu senpai

I JUST WANT TO FUCK A CUTE GIRL

GOOD
>quit drinking 30 days (alcoholic)
>quit smoking 4 days (10 years)
>saw black panther got inspired off goal villain bod in that

eh. just need a good job and im set.

I broke down crying in front of two of my teachers today. It was a shitty day. Tomorrow should be better, though, although who can say for certain?

>tfw the 5%

this hits too close desu

Alright I guess. Work is meh, I have low amount of responsibilities so goes by kind of slow. Love fridays because I have all my meetings on those days. It’s an alright job and it’ll give me some good stuff to put on my resume but I’m realizing it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, and the scary thing is what I’m starting to want is getting farther and farther away from my major. Feel like I’m gonna have to make a choice soon to be slightly miserable but make some decent money or go all out and be poor for a while but could be fufilling a dream. Other then that all’s well. Lonely but thanks to internet talk to friends everyday, heading down to see them next weekend, other then that and small chat at work no social life, doesn’t bother me though. Romantic life is just like it’s always been for me, nonexistent but I can’t complain since I’m not trying to make it better. I’m still playing more video games and tempted to spend money on them when i know I shouldn’t. Not reading as much as I wanted to at the beginning of the year. New /out/ hobby is going well though, got some plans for this weekend so super fucking psyched about that. Looking to see where this goes. Lifting is going alright I think, gotten serious about adding cardio and abs to my program so that feels good. Feel like the weight is starting to go down and seeing the beginnings of definition, although I’d credit that to my change in diet. That’s my blog, thanks for reading bros, have a good night Veeky Forums

>still no job
>jerked off to my ex's slutty pics that i had to fucking extract from my phone's deleted pictures cache
>insecure
>no matches on any dating apps
yep

I want to put a goddamn bullet in my head.

Cut myself for the first time today, despite the pain and blood it felt really fucking good. Definitely gonna do it more from now on.

It helps to know I’m not the only one.

>Forced myself to go to a concert alone and try to socialize even though i really just wanted to stay in home and shitpost.
>Did not want to talk to anybody.Wanted to hide in a corner
>Didn't even enjoy the show

Wondering why i am lonely when i don't even try

> saw black panther

The alcohol has done permanent damage.

No, I hate my major. I've changed it like times now and I'm still not happy. I'm just not good at school. I have a hard time staying focused and learning. It takes me forever just to read a few pages from a book. I really don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't want to work at the bar forever but since its the only job I've had, I just feel like I'kl be suck here for the rest of my life.

The other bar tenders have all been here for 20+ years and I just fee like I will follow in there foot steps.

user, do not start down that path, I've been down it.
Yes, you feel a small adrenaline dump, yes, you ignore your present situation and just feel the rawness of the pain but you can't keep running to that as a solution.

Do you have someone to talk to? Would you be open to other methods of stress coping, like taking an ice cold shower or going for a long walk in the winter? Obviously they're not as raw and real as cutting are, but when it gets as low as -30C in the night here, and you're outside, cold as a fuck, there's not much else you can feel. It's comforting in a way you have a very immediate, real "problem", but you're able to withstand it and embrace it.

...

I’m sorry you guys have that feel. Also that’s my favorite picture of Jesus. Here’s another one i like.

how did you get the pics from the cache?

Dude stop
I have enough reasons to give up all hope.

Sorry buddy. I hope you feel better tho :)

Doing great. Planning to move to a better place here soon. My current house is too small

i had to update firmware, root my phone, install app, scan phone and then recover the photos even though they were a fraction of the size and hence are poorer quality

can you tell how fucking pathetic i am yet?

Thanks man. Maybe some day I'll feel better

i have 3 phones from girls that i know are loaded with deleted smut, but i really dont know how to get it off

dude maybe you should just do what you enjoy and be honest with yourself. stay alone if you like to; try hard to socialize if you really feel like it tho

Alright, so I'm assuming you're young then.
Honestly, it's fine if you're not good at school, not everyone is. Not everyone is good at the trades, not everyone is good at business, not everyone is good at retail, not everyone is good at bar tending.

Have you ever entertained the possibility of ADD? I hate to throw it out because it seems like everyone claims they have it, but if you struggle reading through a page, it's something to look into. It could also just be the fact that it's incredibly hard to be motivated or "on" regarding a study you hate, and it takes extreme DISCIPLINE to power through it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't beat yourself up for not being "good" at school, and especially don't beat yourself up for not knowing what to do with your life right now...or ever.
Fulfillment isn't always derived from your achievements or career, or your status and definitely not from your possessions. You could easily work a humble job but have a fantastically fulfilling life through hobbies, social relationships, lived experiences (traveling, special life moments like seeing nature/wildlife, helping out others).
Right now, if you can, try to finish your degree. But if the suffering far outweighs whatever benefit you think you'd derive from your degree, leaving it behind is okay too.
Whatever you choose, try to just get more experiences. Big or small, new or familiar.
Also look into Stoicism.

u good white boi?

I don't know anymore. I feel more numb everyday as my depression comes hurtling back towards me. Things are different now though, in that I truly and finally understand one of the underlying issues holding me back -- a total inability to have a genuine and meaningful relationship of any kind. For whatever reason I simply cannot trust people to the extent that's necessary for something more than superficial pleasantries. Whenever I'm somewhere new, it's great, no one knows me and I don't know anyone. It's when there's familiarity that scares me. People getting friendlier, wanting to get to know me, hell even the occasional woman showing interest... all of it must be sabotaged before they get any closer.

The usual effort I take to remove myself from such situations is to dissappear and never return. To ignore calls, texts, and to completely changed what I do and where I go just so I don't have to feel the shame of seeing them again. Shame is a potent tool I've weaponised against myself.

I've always been an optimist. That anyone can do nearly anything so long as they keep trying. But this? Can I truly condition myself against the years of adolescent abuse I had to endure? And the following years solitude? I'm really tired Veeky Forums. I have no motivation for the present or future.

I just want to feel and believe the affection people show me. Is there hope?

I feel terrible, I trained myself from extreme level of social anxiety to finally be able to talk to people normally, and I still can't manage to get a fucking girl even though I'm extremely close to male model tier. Why does it have to be us, I don't even feel like continuing my schooling anymore. Im probably just going to fail do to how slow I am at learning

>be me
>have qtpi high test fiance for four years
>have 2 year old qt daughter with her
>few months ago fiance is acting cold
>tells me that our life has turned into groundhog day
>she misses that spark and feelings of lust (my words not hers, she just calls it that tingly feeling) we had for first few years of relationship
>misses it enough that she takes my daughter and leaves me to go find herself
>first few weeks i get to skype with daughter everynight
>the calls get less and less frequent
>havent heard my little girl in a month now
>wont reply to skype calls, txts or phone calls
>only option is to take her to court for custody hearing
>only thing comforting me is watching my training improve
>went from squatting the bar when she left to hitting lmao2pl8 for 3x5 last week

Atleast the iron wont leave me, no matter how cold it is... Man do i fucking miss my family.

>girl ive been dating told me if i don't want anything long term its over
>ok its over
>swipe about 200+ girls on bumble
>one match
>its a mtf

o-oh no
luckily a few more matched me within a couple hours but that was quite the scare

Damn sorry to hear that, she’s in a better place I’m sure

Hope all goes well user.

Shut the fuck up and man the fuck up. Every generation has a cross to bear and this is yours. There's no guarantee that you'll get what you want, no straight path where you know you'll reach your destination, but the only way there will even be a sliver of a chance is if you work at it, and not give up.

Friend,

I just started counseling. One counselor believes my inability to form relationships is an inability to trust and lack of emotional development. Due to my father's abuse, constantly trying to kill me i.e... I was kept in a primal mode of constant alert toward danger vs learning what meaningful relationships consist of. I feel you user. We just need to talk about it. Believe me.

I'm in almost the same boat... Want to be making like 15k more a year and i'll be all set... fucking sloot still haunts me too =[

Hang in there user, things are going to get better

entertaining but overrated

she's probably not happy though user

Motivation is only useful for those without depression or who are normally, otherwise healthy people.
You need discipline. You need to do something different, you need to do the seemingly impossible, challenging things you aren't doing.
Every time you want to run away, you need to remember the results of running away, always doing what you usually do.

By shutting yourself out emotionally and not allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you get the worst of both worlds. You don't get to experience any positive feelings, but you sure as fuck get to experience the negative ones.

I know my ex with EVENTUALLY be happy but right now she is

>23
>making $11/HR
>no car
>no schooling
>shopping addiction

I just want to make it before she gets anywhere

Its the same response that is illicited when someone dies, just to a smaller degree. Youll see when you grow up some day that just grinding out pussy gets old man. Youre going to want more than just a pussy someday.. And when you get it and its ripped from you due to no fault of your own, totally outside of your control, come back and tell us how that feeling of complete hopelessness feels.

we're all gonna make it brahs, do not go gentle into that good night

Thots live in desperation. Getting railed out is their only solace.

this

Thanks for the kind words. We're all just looking for someone to love the forgotten child inside us broken men. Guess I'll hit up my therapist and we can talk about my recent revelations. Sorry about your father and childhood, at the very least I was never hit by my parents. Not that I saw them often anyway.

Just graduated with a bachelor in engineering. For the last 3 weeks I've spent most of the day sending out resumes, shitposting or lifting.

Getting real tired of it all

pretty good.

working 4 hours a day, plenty of money in checking/savings/crypto and playing tons of vidya and lifting.

Shit, well said. Thanks. Vulnerability and authenticity are terrifying.

Have persistance faggot. Txt her again. Then again a couple weeks after that. Keep knocking on the door man.

Makes me wish I didn't join the military sometimes.

...

Thinking of joining the canadian military, whats so bad about the military user?

I haven’t been lifting because I get thunderclap headaches. Got a manipulation today, and gonna try some exercises from online to fix my neck/shoulders/posture.
Until I can lift, barely hanging in there.

Not the guy you're replying to but;

It's probably not going to be what you expect it to be. 90% of the time you wont want to be there and the other 10% of time you'll be having the time of your life but that slowly moves to 99:1 once you've been in long enough.

You'll meet some insanely talented people who should be doing something a lot better with their lives and you'll meet some people who are absolute shit.

Entirely depends on your tolerance of bullshit I guess.

I'm in the US Navy. Besides being away from home which is why I joined in the first place it's just the general feeling that I'm somehow missing out on the things other people my age are doing. Though I take comfort in the fact that I've been to a few different countries like Aussieland and lived in Japan for a few years. Still no qt 3.14 Jap gf tho.