I think i'm beginning to make it

>working out for 6 months now
>seeing first results
>suddenly tinder match
>after some banter realise we both are just interested in hookups
>ask her "wann fuck?"
>she actually says yes and is looking forward to it

Problem is: this is the first i have a hookup tonight (only long-time gfs so far). How does this even work? I mean, we just smalltalk and then get naked or what? Do i have to act like we're "just" chlling at first? She said she's into it when a man "just goes for what he wants"...

Help i'm spaghetti-ing hard.

Just put peepee in vagoo

Do what you want but she how she reacts. Everyone is different.

If she's coming over or you're going over just lock eyes for a few seconds, it'll happen pretty spontaneously

When she arrives warmly welcome her in and offer her a nice glass of milk. Maybe a snack of some hard boiled eggs and beans.

Once she's at ease, just start stripping. The body is natural. And beautiful.

If she's shy at first put on some relaxing whale song to soothe her gentle nerves, while doing the famous helicopter maneuver to amuse her.

>Inviter he for dinner
>buy ingredients for pizza together
>go home, make pizza together
>talking, touching while doing it
>eat pizza
>chill on couch for half an hour
>get touchy
>make out
>fuck

>Small talk

I hate small talk, had the same issue when i started tinder.
Easy fix is to take control early in the conversation. Tell her that when you come over you want the door unlocked, and her to be naked in bed ready..

Skip cutscene and go right to the action. plus theyre always super wet at the thought of a stranger walking in and fucking them!

I usually have a cup of coffee and ask what she likes, then propose go to the bed. If she wants you there's no need for more.

Cool, make an appointment with one but let me go instead.

Sit on whatever furniture like her couch or bed, then drop a flirty line or something. If she's into it (she will be unless you say something really spergy) place your hand on her face or back of her neck, and bring her in for the kiss. Escalate from there.

She said she's into it when a man goes for what he wants.
That means you can do pretty much anything
That means she is a slut
That means you should probably wear a condom.

Still though, you can do whatever you want with her. Go for it.
Its all she's asking to get out of it.

>hookup
disgusting degenerate behavior. you should feel bad

Invite her in, offer her a drink and then let your friend alcohol do his thing.

The Italian Method.

The French Method.

I really need a few pictures for tinder. Do selfies from some famous places in Japan work?

>Make a girl who already wants you drunk
For what purpose may I ask

>go home, make pizza together
What the fuck man. She's not there for a happy and fun meal. She wants OP to slam her

Just keep the smalltalk rolling and throw in some of what said. If she admitted to being dtf she's gonna be riding your dick by the end of the day unless you do something really off-putting. You've been talking to this girl so you probably got a hint of her personality. Clean up. Act confident (even if you aren't obviously) and flex your best sides.
>She said she's into it when a man "just goes for what he wants"...
You got it in the bag already. Show her what you want.

Anal

The Irish method

Ahahaha good luck trying to shove your dick into a drunk girl who hasn't tried it before (otherwise you'd just ask for it).

Pour her a drink and ask if she wants to see you max out on bench

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPT

>the Veeky Forums method.

The Veeky Forums method is a certified method of birth control, by the way.

>I don't drink coffee at night, it keeps me up

Don't forget to flex 'cep.

>Knock on the door smile when she answers
>walk towards her as she backs away from the door.
>Push it closed without looking away from her.
> Make some cheesy comment about her being even hotter in person.
>Put one hand on her lower back, pulling her closer to you slowly,
>put the other hand on her cheek/chin and slowly guide her heads towards you.
>Make out with her like that for a minute or so.
>stop kissing, take your shirt off
>Turn her around and kiss her neck/ear and ask "so where did you want to fuck me?".
>She'll take it from there

Do this op

...

Add some ice cream/caramel and milk to it and she'll drink two. Women can't stand shitty sugary Starbucks-like drinks.

Possibly the Slav Method.

What the fuck is this? The Connor Murphy Method?

I don't know what kind of autism the people in this thread have, but it's really not complicated. OP, you're probably already overthinking it.
If she doesn't initiate things, just talk for a bit (I guarantee it won't be more than a few sentences), lock eyes, and kiss her.
Seriously, it's not something you need to really think about.

>Slav method
>Krokodil isn't involved
Nah

Isn't that the thing that turns you into a leper and makes everything fall off?

open the door, ask her if she wants something to drink, respond accordingly and go from there. i take it you can hold up normal conversations, she's dtf, you'll get there.

Yeah, literal poison.

>didn't get the reference
what a trash board

friday, 3pm any good for you?

What country?

fuck you russophobe its just russian pot please stop spreading lies

Offer to pay her to walk on you while you lay on the floor and masturbate.

Alpha as fuck.

lol

Where's the force fed meme at lol

I've actually heard this some times.

Care for a soothing glass of milk, user?

this is not even a lie lmao, works every time.

Every time a girl has come over to hook up I offer her a “pregame Gatorade.”
Whether they take one or not it doesn’t matter but I still have 7200 gatorades I need to get rid of.
They usually laugh and take one then end up fucking spilling it on my bed which I’m turn makes me hate women almost as much as I hate Gatorade.

I do the same exact thing, but I purposely offer them the Fruit Punch flavors because I had them and it seems wasteful to just throw them out.

>7200 gatorades
I'll take as many as you're willing to give away, thanks.

i hate this feel
i used to get loads of shitty processed 'baked' goods past their sell date. that was a decade ago and i still wouldn't be able to force a twinkie down if i tried

How does a man acquire 7200 gatorades?

things are made and wasted so often that it's not uncommon to become the owner of a huge supply of one product, usually something perishable

I usually just offer something to drink, put on a movie that we end up watching 15 minutes off, then fuck on my comfy couch, dont overthink it

"So...you like stuff?"

>Whether they take one or not it doesn’t matter but I still have 7200 gatorades I need to get rid of.

>asking for anal
HA!

Top picture to post ratio.

Do you guys wear deodorant or cologne or both for tinder ONS?

remember to ask for permission every 2 minutes or else it is rape

Having a buzz will help your social autism, her being dunk helps a lot more

You’re either 13 and way too young to be here or a 29-year-old rapist

I broke into an old Gatorade factory that had just recently shut down and found hundreds of crates full. So I spent hours putting as many in my pickup truck as possible and making trips to and from the house. I get home and start to open them and realize they are all fucking orange too. My entire guest bedroom is full of fucking orange Gatorade, floor to ceiling.

okay well i was advocating for the idea they were legally given to you but that tells a whole new story

Am I really the only person who wears deodorant every single day?

>7200 gatorades

The Prison Method

>hi, how are you?
>girl replies with hey
Is there any point on bothering with this convo?
what do I say?

“Want a Gatorade?”

Nothing. If she was interested she'd show more enthusiasm.

what if I don't have gatorade? I'm just drinking my green tea.

if its a tinder match and shes coming over or you're going to her (and there arent other people around) its 99% certain you will fuck

DONT FUCKING OVERTHINK IT YOU VIRGINS

Just put a good movie on (preferably like horror but comedy too). Best example is Scary Movie 2

Then sit next to her, pour her a glass of lemonade (alcohol is not needed)

then first make sure she sits cause you are putting up the movie and when she already sits you can sit next to her closely (if you wait for her to sit down last she wont sit close and its awkward when you have to move closer) so wait for her to sit first then sit next to her or put your arm around her or something and then after a while just kiss her and push her down and start kissing her neck etc and then do the rest of the sex

good luck /b/ro's!

>offer her a nice glass of milk
>Maybe a snack of some hard boiled eggs and beans
Fucking kek

he probably works in gatorade factory

so should I act like a cunt without feeling guilty then?

>check girl bio
>"haha I'm so tired of cliche conversation, I want something deep"
>oh boy here we go
>get conversation going
>gives me this whole "I like netflix and traveling xd" shit
After that I dropped the convo, I think I need a break from tinder

No, me and all my friends does too. Several of them wear cologne too.

"Be good at conversation."
"Also I'm not going to put any effort into the conversation"
- every girl on tinder

berate her reading comprehension

what really bothers me is
"btw I'm not really that good looking IRL :)"

>I want something deep

There is a joke here somewhere

>Best example is Scary Movie 2

He's right though.

sell them on ebay for ridiculous discounts so it sells quickly
or try selling them to a local shop
easy money

Include me in inevitable instagram screencap

how do I instagram?

Ask her if she wants some hard boiled eggs and orange Gatorade™

Do young people seriously do this? R regularly have sex with strangers? Wow this society is doomed, especially the urban centers

>7,200 Gatorade's
How the fuck did an autistic like you ever get one girl over, let alone many?

welcome to 2018 gramps

The future is now.

This isn't a nice date she's tinder trash bruh.

kek
i somehow see some autistic Veeky Forumszen reading buy 7200 for the price of 2000.

azerbaijan

I'm more of a pickled eggs guy myself, but this sounds lile solid advice

>and then do the rest of the sex
the state of Veeky Forums

You're way overcomplicating this. Hookups are about honesty. Panicking about how you "should" behave ruins that with pretense and expectation.

Here's what you do:
You put your penis in her. Then you pull it out again.

How about the German method, where you start to get down to it, strip down nude and take a dump on her chest

Why would I want her to laugh?

That's indian metod.
German metod is when you double tap her with your russian neighbor

>Possibly the Slav Method.
can confirm that is true

RIP opie. Have fun when your catfish is a serial killer and only interested in making some snuff kino.