How do you get rid of the innate male ass smell?

How do you get rid of the innate male ass smell?
It seems no matter what, within an hour my ass smells.
How am I supposed to get a gf like this?
Am I the only one?

Buy a bidet.
They sell mechanicals one you can simply attach to a toilet.

what have you tried?
my ass doesnt habitually smell, but you could try gold bond or something if its a sweat issue, shower more often with strong smelling soap if its a dirt issue. i use baby wipes everytime i poop cuz i cant stand feeling like i have a dirty ass and then i shower asap

What does that mean

Sweat/musk or shit?

If it's the first then it is what it is.

If you mean shit, that's hygiene. A better diet will give you better shits. Take morning shits and shower after, clean your hole like you're gonna eat it,

Dude, that's how you get a girl friend. Bitches love the nasty ass stank. (Its not overpowering or noticeable until you are hot and heavy, and then its hot).

I'd describe it as having a greasy ass. Just after a few hours after showering it accumulates. Even after showering clean it still has a bad smell.
I'm considering douching my ass at this point

Shave off the hair between your ass cheeks for less sweat and cleaner shits.

trim your pubes
actually wash your ass using soap
on hot days maybe use talcom powder

this my ex gf had a dirty asshole and i never did doggy because of this. I said it was poor leverages but i didnt want to look at her nasty dirt star kek

i pity guys who don't drool over girls' buttholes, it's too delicious not to lick/smell/play with

but yea, only if she's clean
I love the musk that radiates off of it, but none of that shitty shit

not OP but i am terrified of doing this

i trim my pubes with a hair clipper and my ass isnt hairy but my asscrack is hairy as fuck and ive heard horror stories about shaving your ass. it gets so prickly you can barely walk, horrible feeling sliding asscheeck back and forth, etc. hair is supposed to be in cracks to reduce friction.

>I love the musk that radiates off of it, but none of that shitty shit

Can you actually smell your own ass or are you putting your hand in it then smelling your hand? Either way, something's not right with you.

from my experience, its like the hairs themself stink and the only way to fix is to trim. the other part is realizing that anxiety sweat has a smell, arm pit sweat has a smell and golly gee asshole sweat HAS A SMELL

pic related is now u

Learn how to clean your ass.

wipe your ass after you shit

>Shave off the hair between your ass cheeks
No, this isn't an excuse. My ass is hella hairy and I'm able to clean it with no smell problems. OP is probably a "let the water run through" subhuman.

they sell flushable wipes at the grocery store. case closed

What the fuck is happening, that shit is not normal.
Unless you're six hundred pounds, your ass has no business accumulating the scent of the swamps of bodegah within a fucking hour.

Get some fucking help.

My ass only has issues at work due to cheap as fuck toilet paper. And it's pretty much a shared issue there. OP buy better toilet paper.

what do you guys do if youre at work and have one of those nasty shits where you touch the TP down there and its obvious that a soft dingleberry is stuck on your hairs? this is where i run into shit issues like OP. i have like literally pulled the dingleberry out of the hair but then even if it was really small theres a ton of shit residue left in the hairs and i have to press and dab my asshole to try to get all the stuff out and eventually do something horrilble like soap up my finger and rub it

N A I R
A
I
R

Don't fucking do it. I repeat, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT.

An excerpt from a post of wisdom:
>Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

>Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

>As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

don't do this OP unless you like chemical burns on your anus

Ive done it before and that's literally never happened.

Also, you don't apply on your asshole

>let me just put this caustic chemical in and around my buttcrack and anus
Hair is there for protection. It reduces friction, thus reducing sweat and stench. I made the mistake of shaving once. Forget running, simply walking became an agony. I was chafed beyond all reason. If you have shit in your asshair, you need to take a shower, not shave off your asshair.

I'll let you in on a little trade secret

>burn your ass crack hairs away with a liter

Serious, saw someone post it on here in like 2012 and I've been doing it ever since.

Nads works for me but leaves little bumps. It's amazing to get in the shower and the hair just pours off

Thanks, might have to do this or use floor wipes as they're stronger.

Some people sweat more from their ass, they can't help it, i dare not sit on a bench for long or i will leave a huge sweat patch. Especially after squatting.

It's not a shit issue, it's a sweat issue coming from the area of your body that shits.

You just need to wet some paper in the bowl and wipe better.

just use this shit, you cant really fuck yourself up and it takes 15 seconds to use

Girls have hairless asses and never have any issues

I pluck my ass hairs with my fingers while bodywashing my ass. It's not 100% plucked, but I just kinda got into the habit of doing this.

Here's something that everyone should know:

Unless you are a fat piece of shit, there is no reason for your ass checks to grind together and cause friction. Second: shave your asses. If you have literal pieces of shit caught in your ass hairs, and there's no way to clean that without showering: you have a problem.

Aesthetic digits my brah

how is it someones fault if shit gets stuck in their ass hairs

>(you)

i never have EVER experienced swamp ass because for as far back as i remember i've showered after i shit. i REFUSE to shit in public and because of my autism i've never experienced ass stank. also because of my hygiene i will also never get a pilonidal cyst

Well I don't know user, maybe you should reevaluate your fucking situation if you walk around with shit smeared in your ass hairs. It's a perfectly preventable situation.