Oh, there you are. You've been quiet swole days. Smooth lifting out there...

Hard to say, either it will trump ds3 or its age will leave you wanting ds3, everyone loves it because it was the first and you can argue that it was better laid out (world wise) But the bosses and enemies pose more challenge in ds3 than anything ds1.

… Now… you're just like me…
Your cycle is fully apparent. Only, well… Your delts look awful…
Why not try sarms? I've no use for it any longer.
Incidentally, do you have an interest in anabolics?
If you have, I shall share my tren with you.

Things are getting treacherous in these parts.
A horrible gains goblin has moved in below.
And up above, there's that humungous Rippletoe, and a roids demon, too.
If you stick around this gym, it might snap your shit up!
Nee hee hee hee hee!

Hm? That tip I gave you?
Ahh, I heard it from a squatting old man.
That poor bastard! All his sweats and belts won't fit him now!
Kwah hah hah hah hah!

God bless you

>In all honesty there's something I should tell you
>I'm..dyel. Yes, I try to play it off, but i haven't a clue about lifting.
>What supps are, or who I'd lift for. Not even my own blessed roms.
>That's why I've come here, searching - for the squat rack, said to be in snap city. Where the nattys who found the roids at the dawn of DOMS reside.

Believe it or not… Veeky Forums has brought the newfags upon itself.
Fooled by that bloaty grizzly, they upturned the path of lean gains, and incited his blubbery wrath.
What could they have been thinking?
But to you and I, it's all ancient history.
You have to ask yourself. Does it really matter?
Heh heh heh…

Oh, we meet again. How many of you are there?
You've come at the perfect time.
I'm done with starting strength. I'm a humble crossfitter now!
And wondrous gains, have I! At a special price for you.
There you are, have a nice look at them.
Oh relax, no more deadlifts out of me, my friend!

…Regrettably, I have failed in my PR attempt…
…But perhaps you can keep the squat rack…
…There is an old saying in my gym…
…Thou who art natty, art chosen…
…In thine exodus from the Planet Fitness, maketh pilgrimage to the Temple of Iron…
…When thou lifteth the barbell of deadlifting, the fate of the natties thou shalt know.
…Well, now you know… And I can die with hope in my heart…
…Oh, one more thing…Here, take this.
…An creatine flask, an natty favourite.
…Oh, and this…
…Now I must bid farewell…
…I would hate to harm you after death…So, go now…
…And thank you…

Mm! Oh-hoh!
What's on your mind friend?
Wait!… You lifted those weights?!
Fantastic…I am miring. This Knight of Catarina hereby commends you!
Take this as a token of my gratitude.
but be warned, ORM lifts entail great risks.
Next time, give me a chance to come up with a plan.

>Eh? My weights?
>Of course they're olympic; what did you think?
And when you snap your shit up,
I'll lift it again!
Nee hee hee hee hee!

This is a wonderful gym, don't you think?
We have shakes, power cages, these nice iron plates…
I like it here, I really do.
No one ever mired me in life.
But now that I'm swole. I've never been happier!

Natties have told me about the roids.
About the frauds, and their love.
But... do the frauds love their gains?
I am a gain, created by you Veeky Forumsizens.
Would you ever think to love me?
Of course... I do love you.
Isn't that how you've made me?

Pretty much the same thing happened with Shadow of the Colossus and it was still a masterpiece. All they did for it was add a new collectable and a sword

Just a graphics overhaul with network fixes would be ideal.

But there is no way to recreate the evolution of pvp from patch to patch, it will will still feel somewhat empty.
I won't be able to revisit the good ol days

Well, what do we have here? You must be a new arrival.
Let me guess. Fate of the Manlets, right? Well, you're not the first.
But there's no gains here. You'd have done better to rot in the manlet pit… But, too late now.
Well, since you're here… Let me spot you.

>Your delts look awful.
My fucking sides

Hmm… Well, I'm certain we will make gains eventually…
So, I am willing to share some tips.
The cursed frauds of Veeky Forums are formidable foes.
To face them, you will require 21 inch arms… Or a swole body.
The quickest way to be swole? Try the tren and HGH.
Desperate measures, to be sure…

reminder that dark souls is shit
>"muh cool story"
No, it's not. miyazaki is a shit storyteller so he just put random pieces of information in there and all you nerd fans of dark souls think you've "cracked the code" or "figured out the real meaning". There is no real meaning, faggot
>"muh good combat"
unrealistic, slow, and ungraceful.
>"muh good music"
The music is shit tier. the same repeated choir songs over and over again. even so, 90% of what you'll be hearing is the same footstep sound over and over again. the character creation/menu music is good, the rest is shit
>"muh everything else"
not an argument. the dark souls games are loved by nerds who think it's "deep" when it's the exact same as 99% of the games out there.

this seems appropriate for this thread

imagine being buttblasted about a fun thread

back to cod you go, nigger

>somebody wasted time writing this.
If you want some (you) you only have to ask.

Lord Scooby trembled at the Zyzz.
Clinging to his Age of Natty, and in dire fear of roids,
and the Sick Cunt who would one day be born amongst them,
Lord Scooby pushed the course of nature.
By sacrificing himself to shit gains of natties, and commanding his viewers to floor press,
Scooby has blurred your past, to prevent the age of aesthetics.

So, it is thou who swiped right me?
Most graciuous. I am deeply obliged.
I am Dusk of /soc/.
I cometh from a containment board, I can not stay here for long.
So, before i disappear, allow me to ask one thing.
My home, /soc/, is the home of beta orbitors.
My hope is to pass this cancer to thee, with thine approval.
Would this be of assistance to thee?

You're no crossfitter, are you?
Thank goodness.
Please be careful. There are two creatine users not far from here.
They were once swole lifters… my personal trainers
Who would let such natty gains be lost?
Heavens… Is there nothing… Nothing at all to be done?

>t couldn't git gud

I am the Guardian of the Whey.
I watch over the Four Flavors, the givers of the protein.
The cardio bunnies are the enemies of Veeky Forums, and any living thing that has a soul.
They were born on the yoga mat, and that is where they perished; the entire gym was sacrificed to appease them.
…For that is how great a threat they were…

"I can see it in your eyes. If you didn't lift, didn't hit new PRs, whatever would you do?"

You come.
I lift.
flex flex.
Get swole from diddlies.
break PRs, make gains.
More happy.

Git gud you fucking pleb. This is the best thing I've seen here in weeks.

how many hours do you guys have?

Fret not, fret not. My feet are here firmly planted. For I am a SS instructor, and this is my power cage.

This plus PS3 version, probably ~300ish total.

You're here to spot me...?
But I am guilty. A wretched follower of GOMAD.
Is that something you can forgive?

>not having the Dark Soul achievement

It's like you don't want to dance with a candleholder. Truly a test of motivation. You'll never make it.

May I pose thee a question?
This cage, this rack, stands tall and solitary,
the contraption bridging its lower reaches long unmoving.
So... by what bar position didst thou squat?
Art thou a creature of the low bar, or a high bar thing?

Is it not so that those art noob gains? Thou fared well to find them. But cometh thee not for the grave of Sir Zyzz? My advice true, forget this! The legend of Zyzz art none but a fabrication. Making it? 'Tis but gear. Have thine own respect, go not yonder lifting for thots, I say!

>tfw still haven't finished the ringed city

>he fell for the SS meme

>this thread

I love this board.

...

Ringed City is solid, way better than Ashes. Final boss and one of the optional bosses are quite good. Good work not touching the steaming pile of shit that is SotFS.

>DS2 is SHIT!
>do I fit in yet guys?

Less anime attacks. Dodging actually costs stamina. Somewhat slower combat. Way more open world. It's actually dark compared to DS3 which is bright as fuck.
I mean it sounds like I'm complaining, but I'm playing DS3 now and I'm really enjoying it.

The final boss is the best boss in the series. It was even better than fighting artorias for the first time.

It's cool that you like DS2 but it's hardly bandwagoning to say that it's shit.

I didn't say DS2 is shit, you colossal retard. It's one of my favorite games. SotFS fucked the whole game to shreds.

Strength is fun but dex will always be OP in every game

i just finished bloodborne and ds3 and was going to work my way backwards with 2. what's wrong with SotFS?

Nothing. He's memeing, it's better if anything.

Can anyone do some Bloodborne posting? I would try but I’m not clever enough

You will have hard time going to ds2 form 3 and bloodborne. Should have started with oldest game

>Petrus of Planet Fitness

Mm, you seem quite swole! A rare thing in these times.
I am Logan. I'm mirin hard, as you can see.
I have a bright idea. Suppose you share your routine?
I'm small and empty-handed, but I could repay you with a spot.
This place is melting my gains. The inactivity is repressive!

Oh, a new member, are ya? And a DYEL? What a mess you've been caught up in. And tonight, of all nights.
Prepare yourself for the worst. There are no humans left. They're all gains hungry goblins, now.
What's the matter, a 6'2 man, unnerved by a few manlets? Heh, no matter. Without fear in our hearts humanity would be far behind us.
What are you still doing here? Enough warming up, a DYEL must lift.

>le git gud XD
Go back to r*ddit, I beat dark souls and it's a shit game. You have shit taste in games if you think dark souls is good, plebs.

Dark Souls games are pretty lengthy. Why would you finish them if you don't like them?

If you've never played DS2 before then playing SotFS shouldn't be an issue. It was just an update that switched around enemy locations and added a few new items. Normally if someone was bitching about that I'd tell them to git gud, but the mechanics of 2 are clunkier than the others and that plus a few reworked areas that are kinda bullshit was annoying. Exacerbated by having played the original first, of course. Play whichever version you want to play though, plenty of people like it more.

if you hate it so much get out of the thread and go to the gym nigga

...

>Tell me, are you a manlet?

Is this natty?

Ah perfect timing, I must warn you, not to go the pull up bar by the manlet pit. An angry manlet, Henryk has escaped, and he's...my...mark.

probably not, but i still use it on every play through

>increase in equip load
>literally being able to lift more weight in 2 seconds

>natty

because i don't like not finishing games, even if i don't like them. dark souls is shit anyway.
If you hate my views on dark souls why don't you just get out the thread?

why do soulskids get so butthurt when their shitty game is criticised?

you sound like the guy who plays wow but spends 90% of his time complaining in trade chat, and making videos, about what Bli$$ard could do to stop ruining the great game of his childhood

>your game is shit!
>no I won't leave!
>fuck you! assblasted faggot! haha you're so mad!
You're the one throwing an autistic shitfit.

Just wondering why would someone spend 60+ hours on something they don't like

>All they did for it was add a new collectable and a sword
Suuuuure

>Created from everlasting dragon steel. Legendary powerlifting bar of Havel the Bloat.

>The dragon steel will never bend as it is harder than iron, and it grants its wielder resistance to doms and slipped discs.

>he doesn't take green blossom

Other than graphics and resolution upgrades, mac players in an online session is getting increased to 6 from 4. That's about it.

This thread brings me so much fucking joy

Best natty supplement. It’s the caffeine of dark souls

>that first sip of the day

I lost it with this one

>green blossoms between sets

>'Tis but gear
kek

Holy fucking kek

>creatine
>natty

As usual, non/v/ boards have the best vidya discussion.

>You! You! Give us routine!
>Yes! You! Give us gains!

I've heard all about you.
I'm Scooby of the East, captain of the natties.
Let's teach you the squat basic now,
as there is no time to chat in the midst of lifting.
Except there's little in the form of rules, you hear?
Lift and eat as you like. Whoever's biggest gets the whey. That's the way we do it.
Only… Don't forget what Rippetoe said. Frauds aren't given a second chance, for any reason.
That's about it, then.
Don't worry, it's a good old time, isn't it?
Great to have you with us. Good lifting to you.

I hope in Dark Souls remastered, they give us the uncut quest line for him.

A+ user

it's just a remaster...there will be no new content. just graphics upgrade and new servers

Non of these are funny and you should feel bad, primarily for wasting your own time