Best Dom Mazzetti Quotes

>Like they say, build 1000 bridges and suck one dick, you’re not a bridge builder you’re a dick sucker

Bitches love avacado toast

"You can't save the world if you want to be the center of it"

You idiot, it's not his quote, it's from Play to the Bone. But if seriously
>Sharing is caring, and I just do not give a fuck

from latest video
When you make a girl laugh, you are making her orgasm, and she's thinking "If this guy can do this to my body with just words, imagine what he can do with his dick".

>When all's said and done, just shut up and deadlift. It's better to die on your feet than lift on your knees.

>”Telling me not to grunt in the gym is like telling a shark not to be awesome”

>what were you even doing at the smith machine?
>tried to remove the bar, all other barbells were being used

>this is the dude that's about to cheat in his girl every time he goes out
>but says "kissing aint cheating...and neither is moderate fingering, or full blown penetration as long as you don't nut...or as long as you use a condom..." Or dont whatever bro, you're a man you got needs...

very relatable

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>"I aborted the joke."

i will desolate

>Now, liberally apply chalk. When I say liberally, I don't mean complain about it while you do it.

Oh, shit. You guys feel that? ARE YOU GUYS FEELIN' THAT? *runs outside* Yep. I knew it. It's the fuckin' vernal equinox. CAN'T DO LEGS TODAY

>"Comedy used to make people feel good, they'd laugh about something and be like "Hah! A reason to live!"

>you’re Nala, go find your Simba. Or at least go back to Scar.
>Don’t fuck the TOUCAN

>”They say if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”
>”Well I don’t stand for curls and I’m fallin in love with these gains”

>16R
>12P
ouch...

>You wouldn't ride a plane built by the wright brothers

>i hope you have two boys two beautiful boys and they feel what its like to lose the use of their legs
>Dont you put that curse on me ricky bobby

>Girls look at you like you have a problem. GOOD. You do. It's called, "I can still fit through doorways."
>The day you started lifting is the day you became forever small, because you will never be as big as you want to be
>Flexibility is not the ability to flex, but it should be

>I'd rather be a leaning tower of pisa, than a perfectly straight hut of nobody gives a fuck

>there's a monster in the gym, a fucking biclops
it's the simple ones

what vid is this

nvm found it, dad bod

>this dude is wrestling with his sexuality, and with his girlfriends physically, who is a man

>bodybuilding is building a house, while crossfit is being able to hammer nails into a plank

The most truest statement ever made...

>it’s not about how much you can lift, it’s about how much you LOOK like you can lift.

"I got 99 problems, and these ugly bitches are four of them."

>what do I need to train legs for? I got two of them.

>you'll never be as big as your pump

And
>‘abs are like hot chicks, as long as they look good, who cares is they’re stable’

>keep your scapula routtinnie nice and al dente

Well, thats the point of bodybuilding...

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>"If you were to come up to me as a grown ass adult and tell me how high you can jump, I would sincerely think you are retarded"

>"kurt kobain!"
>*shotguns a beer from a shotgun shaped beerbong*

>"I don't have a buddy, because I don't have friends, because everyone is competition"

>Yes you are black.
>Do you lift in a park?
>Yes, alright bro have a nice day didn't mean nothing by it.

wow Dom must really be hurting if he has gone back to shiling on Veeky Forums

I lost.

>"The article than says, quote 'we don't want a guy, who makes us insecure about our bodies' "
>"EXACTLY, it's the same reason I don't read books, because books intimidate me and remind how dumb I am. Who should I be getting smarter, or you know, making peace with my insecurities, when I can just level the play field and watch Digimon reruns with my retarded cousin. Like that sounds like a Saturday to me!."
Always cracks me up

Kek that video is golden

>It's like using a fleshlight the first time you wack off. What are you fuckin Inspector Gadget? Use your hands like a fucking man.

>I treat my legs like my ex-girlfriends
>Ignore them, and let them disappear

"what's with all the tip toeing? What are you tip toeing around your sexuality?"

>it's from Play to the Bone
It completely isn't, it was just part of teen parlance from the 80s.

>a fucking biclops

There's only so much fitness content he can realistically do before he ends up wrapping around. At least he realized it.

Just about to start his vids.

What are some of his best ones?

How to get your girlfriend to lift.

The porn one was the first one I ever saw. Not fitness but its still golden.

why calisthenics won't get you laid

Start from the beginning and work your way through. They get less funny in general as time goes on but some of the newer videos have diamonds in there

"The day you started lifting, is the day you become forever small"

It hurts

>CrossFit is a class. I should just stop there.
>Fitness classes are like riding the bus. Everyone is going to the same destination, and you ain't driving.

>The difference between weight lifting and CrossFit is the difference between building a house and being real good at putting nails in a board

The CrossFit video was gold

>As a powerlifter, you gotta wear belts, shoes, knee sleeves, singlets, and so on, in order to show them what they can't otherwise see with their eyes. That you actually lift.

S A V A G E
A
V
A
G
E

>Pain is weakness leaving the body. My father taught me that.
>Pain is also your father leaving. My father taught me that too.

Having a retarded cousin to watch childrens anime with sounds pretty nice though.

powerlifters on meltdown

>Some say Deadlifts are for Leg day, some Say they are for back day. I say they are for another day.

>Captain or no Captain, right now were just two assholes lost in the woods

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the do you even lift flowchart and how to cook chicken one are my favorites

>BRO TIP:if you find a bear in the wild, so heavy lateral raises until YOU ARE THE BEAR

>haven't watched dom videos in a while
>watch his newest video
>ranting about liberals

I remember why I stopped watching

> "No matter how small you are, deadlifts start at 135 pounds, which is roughly equivilent to 0 pounds. Anything less is like running a 5k; it doesn't count, and neither do you."

The day you started lifting is the day youve become forerver small because you will never be as big as you want to be

>you gotta mindfuck your brainpussy into beastmode

Back to Buzzfeed for you soyboy

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>you started lifting for girls, but after a while you do it because you want to be better than other people
paraphrased from the dad bod vid

What is CrossFit

From the swoly bible

how to deadlift

> Pull Sumo, eat butt.

> The most boring protein paired with the blandest carb. What a day."
I watch "How to Cook Chicken Without Wanting to Kill Yourself" weekly... Usually while eating a depressing pile of chicken and veggies.

it's satirical nigga, mike graduated from NYU with a degree in film & tv and his closest friend/creative partner is a brown man, think about it

I love Dom but why does he look like shit unless he's flexing

Not my favorite but I managed to work in this quote in an assignment this semester.

Oh, lord. I forgot this one.

Because he's one of the only fitness youtubers who are actually natty.

SUPERSET.
Also watch the Dom vs. videos

On what?

>try Tuna
>wtf you like chicken now

The dadbod video

>"Foam rolling is too much science"

>they day you started lifting was the day you became forever small

>read thread
>like his quotes
>try watching his videos
>can't stand it

Street workout with Kali Muscle was amazing

Holy kek that's perfect

Even "How to be alpha all the time"? That one was amazing.

t. Bradley Martin

Time for some Dom gifs

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>I mean don’t get me wrong, solid form is always rule no.1. Rule no. 2 is LIFT MORE WEIGHT PUSSY
From his bicep curl vid

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