Post devlish things you have done in the gym!

>be me
>early morning 5.30am
>do morning ritual, dump, take vitamins/aminos, make a light meal.
>go to gym
>drinking milk
>look on carton
>mfw milk is out of date by 3 days
>idgaf continue drinking - need that calcium
>arrive at gym
>belly hurts, but i cant turn back cause i just paid 80p for the bus.
> decide not to squat or deadlift today
>blitz through chest/shoulder workout
>start letting out gas on the way to locker
>turn around
>nobody behind me
>infact nobody in the gym, retarded resoloutioners quit in less than 2 months.
>need shit, but i dont shit in public shitters
> decide to hodl
>get undressed head to shower
>squat down to wash feet and fart
>didnt realise it was a wet fart till i got back up and saw shit
>shrugged my shoulders and squatted back down to empty bowels.
>figured i shat anyway, and it would not make much of a difference.
>Finish and get up to admire work
>mfw i shat out at least a kilo of shit
>fuck.jpeg
>proceed to turn on shower to wash poop away
>begins to go into next stall, fuark old guy in there.
> quickly dart into shower across from mine.
> here guy scream and then vomiting noises.
>lel
>use water to clean ass.
>clean entire body with soap
>stay in shower for 10 minutes.
> man is still screaming and says hes gonna kill the fucker
>audibly kek
> he starts banging on my stall
> slam the door in his face and square up to him but naked, covered in soap.
>mates walk into shower room and call me a faggot
>guy starts laughing
>punch guy in the face, he tries to grapple - im to slippery for him to hold.
>deck him onto floor and go into shower to rinse off.
>get out
>he called gym staff saying i assaulted him
>i say he shat in the shower, pointing at the shower I first vacated.
>staff look at him in disgust
>security take him outside in his briefs
>i smile at him as he is taken out.
>get dressed, head off to school and get random grills number on the bus there.

Bump

bamp

reply faggots

Need to sleep in 16 minutes

Since I need to sleep at 2400 as well, I will make it quick.
Your story lacks humoristic tools like “feeling.(datatype)“ or witty short sentences such as “for u“. In general the whole storyline doesn't produce enough compassion towards the author, nor does it provoke real humor. It is almost.a standart storyline, with cliches like the wet fart or the old dairy product. The finish wasn't really fitting either, you pulled it off too quick, throwing in the bus thing. Also, mentioning your a pupil is a no go.
A refreshing part, however, was the grapling covered in soap, you should have elaborated on that, by using short humoristic techniques I mentioned above.
To sum it up, it was a story with some, though few potential, rather poorly written.
5/10, would not post on /r/greentext

>mfw

Animals like you need to be put down

>ordered a mass gain shake from the reception thot
>we talk a bit and I say it tastes great
>it actually didn't taste good at all

>work at uni gym
>closing that night
>don’t rerack any weight bc I’ll have to do it anyway