The one side affect of getting Veeky Forums that I wasnt prepared for: heartbreak

...

What did she hide from you? Was it mostly about the fact she hid something or was her past something that would have made you not interested in her from.the start had she been open about it?

/thread

OP, user is right. If she’s not honest about that then you’re fucked.
You did the right thing. It’s so hard at the beginning, then it gets easier, then a little harder, then you’ll fuck her a few times and realise you’re over her. And the circle of life is complete.

My biggest hurdle

She had sex with this dude she used to talk to and told me she never even touched him
found out today she also sent him nude pics and all that shit
It's mostly just because we have had multiple conversations about it over the span of our relationship and she would swear up and down she never did anything. She lied to my face up until I just told her that ive seen proof and stuff.
I could have gotten over it if she had just come clean when he originally came up a year ago.

fuck you for posting this tbqh senpai

jesus christ, do you have any idea how pitiful it is to be torn up over a WOMAN?

are you a MAN or a little boy? a fuckin WOMAN was your best friend? holy hell man, grow some fuckin balls and quit obsessing over the lesser gender.

the worst part is that she was never meant to be my best friend
In all my other relationships I viewed my gf as a sort of accessory to my life
Somehow she and I just clicked so well and had so much fun together that she became the person that I could and would tell everything too. She knew everything about me and I thought I knew everything about her.
The first woman I've ever thought about marrying when the time is right

Hah.

Never trust women god damn it. Rookie mistake.

I highly recommend gayness

maybe you should try dating a guy next, because you're talking like a total faggot. man the fuck up, girlie girl.

I went through something similar OP

Built a wonderful relationship with a girl who turned out to be lying to me about her ex.

I was crushed. I thought I had lost two things: the girl I loved, and all the memories I had built with her. I felt like if I could just have her back, I'd be happy. I felt like that memory I had of us waking up on a lazy morning and going outside to enjoy the fog was tarnished forever, knowing that in that moment the lie was still between us, that she was keeping something from me while we were doing that, and that I'd never be happy again.

But I was wrong. I didn't lose "her," I lost my comfortable illusion of her. That whole time, she was not the person I thought she was. She was similar in almost every way, but with one key difference: she was someone who would hurt me, who would lie to me. Now ask yourself, would you ever want to get in a relationship with someone who would hurt you and lie to you? Of course not. But that's who she was, all along.

As for the memories, those were harder to lose. The associations were harder to shake. The TV show we were watching together that we never finished, the songs that made me think of her... those were tough. But as I've gotten in another relationship I realized that the happiness was more inwardly focused than I realized. It's a selfish thing, so it's hard to admit to yourself, or even notice at the time, because your brain likes to fool you into thinking you're more altruistic than you are, but it wasn't her that was the cause of the happiness. It was me. It was me feeling at peace, me thinking that the person who was next to me was some sort of missing piece of a puzzle. But really it's just nice to have SOMEone to share things with. Doesn't terribly matter who.

The only thing that heals this is a powerful cocktail of time and new pussy.

I feel you.. it's worse that she's trying to lie to your face about stuff than her actually sleeping with someone (ofc not in case of cheating). It just means she lost her trust, good on you for making the decision to break up. It would have probably come back to you sooner or later if you stayed together and other issues would've come up.

Jesus Christ you type like a faggot.

this is actually grade A advice

believing that cynicism and naivete are mutually exclusive is a sure sign that you're mentally under developed

just a thought

Did they fuck while you were dating? If not, who fucking cares. If she's not 14 she will have a sexual history. Don't let your insecurity ruin love. But if she cheated, splay that cheating thot's guts all over the floor.

I've never been able to understand these sorts of threads. You guys need to live with the mentality that everyone is going to let you down, manipulate and betray you, not in a sad "nothing is going to work out" way but in the "I'll not trust you in the first place" way.

All human social interactions are subterfuge and manipulation, it is evolutionary for us to trick each other so that we can ensure our own happiness and prosperity. You think humans being kind to each other is because they are kind creatures? Fuck no, humans are kind because kindness is a mask that ensures they get along with other humans. They aren't kind because you're such a swell guy or even because they are such a swell guy, they're kind because they are manipulating you and others in to being kind to them in return.

You shouldn't play social interaction games unless you actually understand the rules, you're basically playing blind and that is only going to lead to you being used by others as a happiness dispenser and leave you a depressed sad sack trying to understand why you're being used as a tampon.

You'll recover, then it'll happen again, then you'll recover, then it'll happen again, then you'll recover, then you'll get married, then it'll happen again, then you'll recover, then you'll die. Welcome.

Some of us just want peace, love, friendship and understanding.

If it helps you, i've broke up with mine 2 weeks ago, 9 months together but there was a lot of drama, fights and headaches over meaningless things

At the end this wasn't good for either, even if there are feels, those problems will never end and will pain even more

After a time not hitting the gym, come back starting from zero getting to what i did before and working on me on my body, mind is something you have to get together by yourself, or with help by someone else, like some anons

Get yourself a point where you want to be, what will be the goal and why, not just sex or thots, that eventually comes if you care about it, i've just had sex with 3 and that's ok for me, but at the end
Different strokes for different folks, remind you always that someone is always there and shit's hard, but you gotta keep doing it till it works

No she never cheated.
Its because she lied to my face numerous times and now I cant trust her

All women are pathological liars with almost zero introspection, you just have to find the one that lies the least to you.

>But if I can't trust her, what good is she?
Keep fucking her and keep her happy so she won't need to lie. Otherwise, get a dog.

Are you sure it's about the lie? Really contemplate if it's about the lie or past partner jealously.

honestly... probably both

Just read through the thread.
You'll recover, its not really as big a deal as it seems right now, just keep yourself busy with self-improvement besides only lifting and spend as much time as you can with your buddies.
Although, I was in a similar situation as yours. When the time came I decided being with her was worth moving on from her past. It eventually stopped bugging me, and this April will be our 5th anniversary and I'm thinking about proposing fellas

Thanks user, a very insightful perspective

A waste of perfectly good happiness to destroy a relationship over petty jealously. Accept an apology for her dumbass lie and move on.

that was beautiful

Simpleton, that's what you get for being stupid, go get some bitches on your dick you pathetic excuse for a man. What are you? a boy or a man,

To everyone else who reads this. This thought process is the key to being unhappy and alone in life. This type of thinking will make you miserable.

There are bad people in the world but the majority are good. Don't let one bad apple spoil the whole harvest. A positive mindset and life outlook is the most important quality to develop in yourself. Godspeed user

Do deadlifts

>current year
>dating white women

Pretty much this. OP, you sound young and naive. I’d guess you’re no older than 23.

Don't listen to this faggot OP.

You were in the wrong for being jealous true but being jealous isn't the same as lying to a person for an extended period of time. If you can't trust a person to be honest, or at the very least if you can't spot a person when they lie to you then you shouldn't associate with people you know to be liars. She will lie to you again, she has already has a history of doing it.

Liars will take advantage of your trust and you'll be too foolish to spot their lies. I suggest doing some research in how to spot a lie, it will help you in future.

We all go through this, time will heal everything.

Just rmember to stay strong. This is definite.

>be with girl
>perfect match
>can't get over the the fact that she fucked someone before you
>can't forgive her for lying about something she was probably afraid would end the relationship once the truth came out
>prove her right by ending the relationship
GOD BLESS YOU OP I hope you're less autistic for your next gf

>I want my gf to be a perfect virgin who didn't send any nude pics to anyone in her life but me
It's 2018 wake up, stop having unrealistic expectations

You played yourself. Should have left her past alone and been with her in the present then maybe you would have had a future.
Briht side is now youi have more money for protein and more time for lifts.
Get shredded. Girls will come

Yo I'm sorta like OP. My gf is the first girl I had sex with and I'm her third. I don't care about her past but I want to get with more girls you know? Feels bad man when I think about missed opportunities. I'm 18

>gf can't have had any other men
>but I can beat my dick raw to porn and waste the prime of my life on 4chin
Get a grip

That's a stupid af reason to break up wow. Is she your first gf orsomething? She lied for a reason, she lied because she knew you'd overreact and guess what? You did exactly what she thought you'd do.

Everyone fucking lies. This sperg is making her out to be a sociopath. She probably knows you're overly jealous and didn't want to deal with you getting upset over her past fling.

OP is simultaneously a pussy for expecting her to be
>muh pure gurlfrend
while having a commendable spine

Is this your first heartbreak.

believe it or not getting rekt in a relationship is basically the same as muscles tearing during weight training.. You will grow back stronger.

Stronger and a complete emotionally void person.

She lied because she cared about him otherwise she would've just told him like it is.

I split up with my ex for this reason. I miss her to this day, dumbest fucking choice of my life.
Get that thot mindset out of your head you dumb fuckin buffoon

I agree with this. It is never just a "small lie" then someone changes their mind to never do it again. It would have continued to happen over and over again. She obviously isn't marriage material and you would be wasting your time.

This

>t. never had a genuine relationship

>genuine relatonship
>lies to him over and over again
>pick one

>t. will contribute to the 50% divorce statistic

to be fair I don't think I would admit of fucking other girls in the past to a gf.
I mean,saying i'm not a virgin sure, but it's not something she needs to know, especially if it's new relationship and we're still developing our confidence for each other.

How is this related to getting Veeky Forums?

>I know my bf is a jealous sperg that hates lying
>Instead of coming clean as soon as possible I'll lie to him for years
>I'll also not delete my messages I lied about not sending

She is both stupid and incompetent on top of being a liar. Lets be honest here, she is capable of lying once she is fully capable of doing it again. No one should be in a relationship built on lies, both OP and her and in the wrong and should avoid one another.

>lie about one thing in her past
>WOW EVERYTHING IS LIES NOW

What's the fucking reason for her to tell himhe fucked a specific guy OP probably didn't like too much to begin with?
I bet OP insisted every other week if she had sex with him or something until she just gave up and told him she did.

I mean, if that happened in the past why would she say it to him? Maybe she was insecure he would hate her for doing that fag.

One lie is an indicator of more lies or at the very least a willingness to lie again to get what they want and manipulate.

t. very successful liar that can spot lies other people tell easily

Relationships are fucked today because a basic human trait like honesty (which relationships are built on) is being debated how it should be used.

I love reading how all these guys say:man up, she's just a girl...these ones are getting it the worst when their first relationship will end..best of luck OP

>She lied for a reason.

Because she is a liar, this isnt an omission of truth, or skirting around the topic, or changing the truth to better suit the context.

she lied multiple times, pretty bluntly it seems, and it also seems pretty easily. \
Trust is gone because she was proven to be a liar, not because she lied. no trust is a pretty good reason to break up even though it may have been worked out.

i dont think he cared if she fucked others, he cared that she lied about it.

You literally sound retarded when you bag OP out for allegedly being upset that she fucked someone else,
then defend his GF by saying she cared about fucking other dudes and she had good reason too.

Everyone is capable of lying. In fact, you probably dont know anyone in your life that hasnt lied to you before.
Breaking up with someone for the reason OP did is pretty retarded since the thing she was lying about has no effect on their relationship. Now if she lied about being infertile and baby trapped him or gave him HIV or cheated or some shit, that's pretty understandable. While its kind of shitty that she was dishonest, if she didnt want to talk about her past, OP shouldn't have pestered her about it

This has to be a woman or troll

i'm alone, but far from nhappy. as soon as you come to terms with the fact that there's not a single person on earth who wold not do everything in their power to see you ruined the better off you'll be. this goes double for women, as their sole purpose is to fuck you to the point where they extract what they want, then fuck you over like no one else can. pro tip: dont ever let a woman get into the position where you're vulnerable to her, she will use it to destroy you emotionally, financially, physically; any way she can.

dont listen to this guy user follow your dick, it sounds like the smartest thing about you

Then she should have told the truth, she lied because she knew it would placate OP, that is manipulation. If a person is willing to lie to you to manipulate you then they are not the sort of person a healthy relationship is built on. Honesty is harder but being honest strengthens a relationship, lies are easy and only make a relationship a snake pit of manipulation and control built of glass.

Lying itself has an effect on a relationship. Honesty is a major part of relationships, if she had come forward and admitted her lie she would have admitted her mistake and if OP was serious about the relationship he would forgive her. If you think it is okay to lie to your partner about something they care deeply about (no matter how stupid or petty) then you need a morality check and I feel bad for whoever you're in a relationship with.

She lied to my face multiple times and would then try and act like shes the victim because I was suspicious. I was honest about not being a virgin when she asked me. She tried to tell me she was a virgin because she bled when we banged the first time.
I'm not saying that I care about what she did in the past. I cant change any of that.
Its a giant punch in the gut when you find out the person you've been with for years has been lying to your face for years as well.

>Continues typing like a faggot about a baseless interpretation of what I said.
Who is mentally underdeveloped again?

Best reply. You need to come to this realisation to get over someone. What you miss is an idea of someone based on all the good memories/feelings but you need to accept that you can have those same memories/feelings with someone else and that your life isn't over just because one person has left it.

This is fucking retarded. OP, you cannot for the life of you trust this whore on anything she says. She'll lie to you about anything just to save face. You did the right thing by breaking up with her, and you should never take her back for any reason in the world.
And for the record, never consider your partner your best friend. Confide in her, share with her, but don't you ever give her the mantle of best friend. Honor is not a concept any woman can grasp. They can emulate it at best, but they'll never fully understand it. And it's this mistake that makes it all the more painful. The main thing that made me able to get over past relationships relatively quick and well was the fact that my best friend came by with beers, snacks, and an ear to listen with each and every time I needed it. And I do the same for him.

You sound like a sheltered 18 yo white kid from the suburbs that has next to no experience with women or handling people. People lie, everyone does. Op just sounds like a kid who'se world got shattered and he's overreacting badly about it. It's pretty obvious he made such a big deal out of it that she didn't dare to say the truth out of fear of losing him. It's his own fault for putting her on a pedestal to standards she can't measure up to.

How old are you op?

>>dating girl for a year and a half
Do people normally feel love that quick?
I'm on year two and a half and would be fine if they got nuked

you didn't "say" anything, you just made noise. it's obvious.

Picture this:
You're in an amazing relationship, you really love her and she's smart, beatiful and funny.
Before her you only fucked a couple of skanks and whores for fun
One day she asks you if you ever had something with stacey, the person she hates the most.
Because you know she hates her, you don't want to risk her leaving you or getting mad at you for fucking her.
"nah"
And you both live happily ever after

You're bitter and you will feel lonely your entire life if that's what you truly believe.
Lots of people lead happy lives and are honest, loyal and trusteable. It's all about finding the right person and not letting yourself get discouraged by past failures. Everyone has some things they won't immediately talk about or keep to themselves. But there is a whole difference about not immediately bringing up something in a relationship and flat out swearing that something didn't happen that actually did.

...

And then she finds out and she feels betrayed and suddenly you sleeping with Stacy is a thousand times worse.

The correct answer is "Yes, shes a dead fish in bed and her pussy is loose"

Then you tell her all the ways she is so much better than Stacy and she not only gets over it but suddenly feels better than Stacy because you are fucking her not and not Stacy.

Lie about Stacy, don't lie to your partner. OPs gf should have just said "Yeah, hes dick is tiny."

How the fuck is this fitness in any way shape or form?

One of the things you must come to grips with is the anima/animus. This is why relationships do not last, because each person wants to fall in love with their opposite. For men, it is the anima, for women it is the animus. The anima is a rather tricky thing for men, for women the animus is easier to deal with and substitute (the animus is more of broad strokes rather than the concrete traits that men can easily describe). What a man wants as his anima varies. You may be familiar with waifus. The waifu is very much a personification of a man's anima. She will embody certain characteristics that a man instinctively knows to cherish. While it is not unhealthy to search for the same traits your anima possesses in women, it is entirely delusional to assume that the first girl you come across will be the fulfillment of your anima. The way to go is to understand that you will not find your anima, but you will find close enough. Expecting a 100% resemblance to your anima is impossible. A chasing of the wind.

Another thing to keep in mind is infatuation. Most relationships will not last more than 6 months. Sometimes it can be as long as a couple of years. This is because you were not in love, but in infatuation. Or you might be in love and she was just in infatuation. Or you were in infatuation and she loved you. Or perhaps both were in infatuation. Love is a very tricky thing. It is a mark of personal growth to be able to tell infatuation apart from love.

>t. very successful liar
What do you do for a living?

Similar story for me. The relationship was 7 years long though.

I feel suicidal a fair bit.

>ITT: People that depend on others for their happiness

Pathetic

I broke up with her last August and I still feel this way. Still though, not a day has passed that I haven't thought about her or hoped to see her car next to mine again in the parking lot.
I wish I could stop missing her.

Close; 26 yr old white dude from the suburbs. But alot of experience handling people and women. The idea that youre going to bag this guy out for breaking up with a lying gf is stupid.

Im in the strongest relationship ive had and its based on a level of communication and honesty. we are honest because we can communicate, empathise and eventually get over any problem. What OP had is clearly not that. She was afraid to tell the truth. which is a red flag, maybe on part of OP not the gf. she then lied multiple times. again another red flag. In my assumptions i believe OP has given her many chances to come clean. It was then and there an opportunity for her to build communication and trust. SHE chose not to and lie instead.

IF the Gf came here and said, 'my bf broke up to me because i came clean about seeing this guy in the past' id be more sympathetic to your view. But she didnt, she lied continuously, so either the relationship has a lack of communication and trust to begin with on both ends, in which case it was the right thing to break up with her because its unlikely the relationship isnt going last

OR OP had given trust and communication on his end, and she didnt instead choosing to lie, in which case she's a liar, trust is broken on OP's end and breaking up with her was the right thing to do.

either way framing OP's decision to break up with the GF based on jealousy, or overreaction completely misses the point.

This. Get over her ASAP and make yourself happy OP.

yeah they lie a lot don't they?

how do i know you are 20 or less?
grow the fuck up

this, if you can't trust her.
how will trust her to help you raise your children