realized a few days ago that a big part of my motiviation to do things is to impress others.
wether my ex, girls i like, friends and strangers.
for example, yes of course i love lifting but in hard times i like to think like hey, going to the gym now will make me look better which will have positive effects on my social life etc
how can i start doing things to impress myself than proving myself to strangers?
You gotta learn to be indifferent and focus on your purpose
I have yet to answer this for myself user.
For now I set little goals with hopes of a ton of little goals will make a big goal
Nothing wrong with wanting to show off. Just don’t get lost in that desire.
its not like i would need more motivation to do things like lifting, dressing and improving myself but just the thought of the others who would be impressed gives me more motiviation
just want to do things without thinking like this
Nice dubs
Quads of wisdom.
Fpbp
Build confidence/self esteem. Stop being pathetic. The first step to this is realise you are, so good job. I pretty much hate most people anyway so I really dgaf about impressing them, neither there positive or negative reinforcement does anything to me.
Not edgy just realise most people are meaningless and fake
Basically this. The surest way to be the guy that a girl isn’t fucking is to be the one doing things for her. Never forget that all attractive women are hardwired to be manipulative psychopaths.
nothing particularly wrong with that unless it leads to ego lifting
Great advice. Nice and simple
You will never be truly content.
Im there with you op.
i like being strongest in my gym
But most are dyel curlbros here so like my shitty 3pl8 squat and 4.5pl8 diddly is biggest there is.
Tfw got stronger than guys i looked up to in matter of months
I honestly think there is not that much wrong with some external motivation some of the time. as long as you do things that make you happy and which you believe in. Humans are social creatures and the validation of others can help greatly in staying dedicated and working on your goals.
Idk why but I really hate guys like you. It's like the epitome of beta behaviour comparing yourself to others and caring so much what they're doing. It's female behaviour desu
Then get stronger so i can look up to you instead
Being competetive is masculine trait.
bringing others down is feminine /beta
Do you write in a journal? Meditate?
I don't care about you looking up to me. It's neither. It's a psychological phenomenon that deviates from the ideal. Why should you care what someone else is lifting? It has no affect on your own life. It's childish mentality and you should grow out of it as you get older.
Its more the idea of being motivated by whether or not people like you or desire you. That's feminine. If you work hard and are happy and proud of yourself first, then who cares if someone you know talks shit. Being competitive doesnt mean youre only out to beat the other person, its proving to yourself that you are capable. Not winning the approval of some faggots
Just bee urself
Youre retarded just like your assumptions.
I dont care if you are lifting less because you are smaller, lift for less amount of time. If you put in the effort i will respect it, because i know how much fortitude it requires mentally.
But i will keep mogging benchbros who think they are strong,yet when they come up to my loaded bar, and they try to catback it up. Or quarter squat weight that is far beyond their capabilities.
And im pretty sure some of them envy my lifts despite lifting for much longer than me.
But it doesnt matter because i will keep progressing and they will stagnate like they did for past year.
Am i better person than them for lifting more? DOUBT it, but i know i put in the effort and im rewarded with next PR being broken.
Wow. The amount of delusion and insecurity in your post. Let me just tell you for your own mental health that all that mogging and shit is all in your head. You're taking the memes here too seriously.
>mogging is just in your head
Oh it happens brother
whatever you say bucko
keep patting urself on the back while ill be leaving humanity behind
Not denying that "mogging" doesn't exist I mean obviously a guy benching 1 pl8 next to a guy benching 3 is getting mogged. But you're making your experience in the gym sound pretty daunting and depressing. That's all in your head. Just do your own thing and enjoy your lifts. You will be much happier, I guarantee
Lel. Well meme'd sir. Gave me a chuckle
appreciate it
ironically, what you describe isn't focusing on others, it's focusing on yourself.
>going to the gym now will make me look better which will have positive effects on my social life etc
So what does going to the gym accomplish, according to you? It will "make ME look better" and "have a positive effect on MY social life". Whatever you're doing, it's trying to better yourself in some way, not others. You care a lot more about how you look than other people do, let me tell you.
You can say that about absolutely anything you do. I mean obviously everything you do is for you. For example even donating money to a charity. You get a sense like you're helping or making a difference.
This is beta mental gymnastics
Just thanks!!
this. just be careful not to think this is the same advice as
>just dont care what anyone thinks
use other people's opinions as a gauge for your progress. do people think you are muscular, attractive, smart? consider if they are correct or incorrect, judge if you have made good progress based on your answer. do people think you are stupid? look inside and answer truthfully if this is true or false, and study harder or disregard their opinions based on the answer.
obviously people who you respect's opinions will be more valuable. point is don't act like a spazz retard just because "lol i dont care what anyone thinks!"
Good post
Acknowledge others, compare their views to your own, dont be afraid to experiment, but be able to admit your wrongs.
Because in the end nobody knows everything, and what you think is right today, might be proven wrong tomorrow.
I've had the same problem, OP. Here are some things I've done to activate lone wolf mode:
>disconnect from all social media (including Veeky Forums)
Facebook, IG, and Veeky Forums affected my mood and behavior, and it took me a long time to admit that. Configure your phone so all it can do is make calls, or better yet, turn it off/leave it at home when you go out altogether. I started noticing details about the world around me that I've never noticed before. Mundane and banal things became intriguing. I became more sociable and friendly, more likely to make eye contact and talk to strangers. Overall, an improvement on my irl experience.
>dedicate yourself to the gym, if not, find hobbies outside of it
If you're training balls to the wall all day every day, that work should be enough to keep you focused. But if you're scatter-brained like me, I picked up several other hobbies for my own entertainment. Hiking, playing music, cooking, etc. Whatever peaks your interests remotely, try it. You might unlock hidden passions.
>manipulate your perspective
I was angry and depressed for most of my life. At a certain point, I realized I was only angry because I was basically telling myself to be angry. I can't control the actions of people around me, but I can control my outlook on life. I've gotten better at identifying what things in life make me happy, sad, or are a complete waste of time. I'm rambling at this point but you get the picture.
This
Yes! Someone gets it!
Yes, the way you described it seems great to do so but it looks like you Would be totally isolated.
I think you Need at last a Little Bit of others influence
Lift for the fuhrer, that's the best way to stay motivated and focus on becoming the best you can be.
I always tell myself to do this but it can be really hard sometimes. whats some tips to help?
attractive women a hardwired to be beta bottom bitches you're just a bottom bitch.
For me I got depressed and then still didn't give a fuck after I got out of it.
Lift to GET what you WANT. If that's pussy, that's understandable. If what you want is 100% in someone else's head ("They like me!") you're just being irrational though
>use other people's opinions as a gauge for your progress
this. combined with honest introspection you can use this metric to hone yourself into a god amongst men. also being tall helps, sorry manlets
Realize what retarded, useless and evil bags of flesh most other humans are.
Once that realization hits, you'll never give a shit again
Unironically this