How do I buy a gym membership

Do I just walk up to the receptionist and say "Hey, I would like to buy a gym membership?"

Yes

Yes. They give you a tour of the facility and then sit down with you to discuss deals/rates/plans theyll try to screw you so pay attention.

It’s best to pay the largest beginners fee so your annual will be cheaper if you plan on staying for awhile.

No, I don't want that. I just want my card. I'll just run away when I get it.

If you're that spaghetti, you might just want to consider a home workout.

after that they’ll take you to the locker room and make sure you’re above 6’0 to either sign you up for the regular gym or the manlet pit, the take you to the squat rack and make sure you’re 1/2/3/4 before you’re allowed to sign up, but otherwise yeah that’s it

Well after that they bring you in a back room for mandatory penis inspection. Make sure to scrub your cock and don't get a homer senpai

Not that simple. You will have to pass some hard fitness tests.

you need to beat the gym jester in arm wrestling,
they also might ask to check your peanor or height, but that's normal,

I bought my first gym membership 2 months ago
Literally just walked up and asked for a membership, took 2 mins top
Been training 3-4 times a week since
Feels great man, I recommend doing it

Mandatory checks if you’re

>tfwgf

Most gyms only have a

>tfw no gf

Policy

This and I would recommend not going in the evening when all the big guys are there staring at you while the guy shows you around.

this + penis inspection

>email their contact address ahead of time
>say "Hello, I would like to sign up for a membership." They'll schedule a time for you
>go to said gym
>one of the trainers will give you a tour
>ask to only see what you want to see (barbell area, free weights, freeballing sauna room)
>they'll sit you down to discuss it
>tell them you're a student. if they ask for ID and you're not, say you can bring it in when you sign in the first time
>get the lower rate
>sign the papers
>go to gym

It's like $50 less per month, it's unreal.

Do you really get a lower student rate anywhere?

At most private, uppity gyms you do. I literally told the trainer I was part-time MBA and she was like, "well, that doesn't really count but I'll do it for you anyway," and the rate is literally $40 versus the $90 I would normally pay as a non-student.

jesus christ this thread

kekek. wtf
Would it work at an anytime fitness?

I got a student rate at my Anytime Fitness in Canada. Mind you it's only 10% off, not the ridiculous savings the last guy said.

this so much, dont forget this

Yeah, go for it bro you'll like working out and you get to work on those social gains.

Do you really want to be a meek faggot like this forever, user? That’s no life to live.

Don't forget to tip her

No, you have to first go through the seven gym trials and prove yourself worthy to the barbell elders.
What the fuck do you think user?

Yes, but ONLY the tip.

you mean to tip the fedora right?

No, that's reserved for when you need to work in with someone doing The Press

No, random no-name in Boston.

>mfw i got a homer

when I first went I didn't even know it cost money...hehe $35 a month. Went back to the free base gym

No, you have to beat both the gym master AND Chad with your own fists.

T. Cheap Tipper

At snap fitness as a student I pay $16 per week instead of $18.50 per week

It’s not that much better but it’s still decent

i went with my mom last year

im 24

Hello I would like to sign up here

Remember to wash before though, because she WILL have to do a penis inspection.

When I was 28 I signed up but didn't pay and told them my mum would come the next morning to put it on the credit card so they'd charge her monthly

I don't have a credit card and I gave her the cash every month, why should I pay it all at once?

>i went with my mom last year

Had the same problem a couple weeks ago because social anxiety just go up to the receptionist and say "hey what kind of plans do you offer" and go from there EZ

There are several gym chains in my town where you can just sign up via the internet, get a code, and use it to get in through airlock doors.

It has decent equipment, and I don't have to tip the receptionist.

>not tipping the receptionist

But user, that’s the second best part!

>Ooh user, look! They have the barbells!
>Watchout boys, here comes Mr.Muscles!

THIS IS AWESOME

Oh wait. Can more than one person be in the gym simultaneously? If so, that still sucks.

lol this is so wack

haha i love my mommy

>33 now, first time off the family plan since like high school
>routinely played racketball with my mom at the gym for a couple years after college while i couldn't find work.

no shame bro. mom's looking out.

I assume you aren't from some backward shithole country that doesn't have 24hr franchises, so here's what ya do:

1. Apply online: if you are too much of a NEET faggot this is the option for you. search around. find a good franchise in your area and sign up for fuck sake.

2. Wait: most likely someone will call you and book you in for an info session the next day where they show you around the gym. You will get some card or door opening button thing.

3. Wait till 10pm and go for the first time if you are a coward. Don't forget a towel.

Remember most people at the gym don't give a fuck and just want to do their workout. Anyone who gives you shit is a sad little gym goblin. Also don't eye-bang any chicks while there it is creepy and sad.

Fucking fuck you.

I would like to add something regarding the penis inspection.

If you know for a fact you're gonna fail ,then wrap a 20-dollars bill around it.
Most inspectors will consider it a reasonable amount, but in case it's not enough, she/he will simply grab the money and tell you
>"Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?"
In such a case, you have to hand him another 20 bill from your pocket while saying
>"Well, they call me the joker"

There's a fucking lame ass bitch gym near me that has a sign that says "no agrees I've lifting" not a free weight in the place. More fag than this place.