Veeky Forums I have a gym membership and want to lift but I don't know where to even begin and I don't want to look...

Veeky Forums I have a gym membership and want to lift but I don't know where to even begin and I don't want to look like a retard that spills weights like spaghetti all over the place. How do you find the courage to go and start lifting when you're the fattest piece of shit in the entire building surrounded by guys (and girls) with 0% fat who could pick you up with one hand? What machines or exercises do you do like if you were just starting out never lifted before? Where do you begin - and more importantly how do you not look like a fucktard doing this for the first time?

Pic is unrelated.

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Read the sticky, retard.

Read the sticky and just go and put that membership to use.

ditch your ego and realize most people will look at you like a piece of shit, but you cant blame them because you know you look like shit, and you caused it, now you have to fix it.

Who is this demon?

You're just wrong. Most people at the gym are chill and supportive. The rest keep their fucktarded comments to themselves.

Sounds like you have some deep-seated issues you need to fix, friend.

Yeah anyone who judges newfags at the gym for trying and putting in effort has some serious issues

Always remember OP nobody will judge you trying but if you quit you deserve all the shit coming to you

It can be intimidating. I was intimidated and I wasn't overweight just way out of shape. Nobody there really cares what you do. Nobody is going to sit there and go "man, look at that fat guy trying over there ha ha". Re-rack whatever weights you use. Be polite.

If you're starting from nothing it might even be difficult to work with a barbell so use some light dumbbells if applicable to that type of exercise.

that is one asymmetric back

I did. I must be retarded because I missed the chapter about not looking like an idiot in front of the alpha male chad with a harem.

I'm looking at the sticky right now. Do I start with machines or actual weights? What kind? What exercise? Which muscles? How many reps? On what days? For how long?

Not saying I'm not considering it but I'm probably less likely to jump into the weight stations knowing that everyone is going to look at me like I'm the alpha loser in a 5 mile radius.

If anything I'm probably going to do what I've been doing and spend an hour on the elliptical in the corner for an hour until I get bored and stop going for a few months.

Dunno. Random Veeky Forums pic.

>Sounds like you have some deep-seated issues you need to fix, friend.

Embarrassment? Shame? Yes, I am ashamed of who I am and how I look.

>
Yeah anyone who judges newfags at the gym for trying and putting in effort has some serious issues

This is what I'm trying to avoid.

I'm not getting to the quit part because I haven't gotten to the starting part, because I don't even know where to begin.

This.

Gym goers are usually supportive and willing to help. I see fatties like you who come in at 8-9pm and care far too much about what others think.

Just lift light and progress slowly.

it's not really, but nearly all of her back pics are taken from that or similar angles.

>I'm looking at the sticky right now. Do I start with machines or actual weights? What kind? What exercise? Which muscles? How many reps? On what days? For how long?
weights, the ones that your program tells you to, all of them, as many as your program tells you to do, any three non-consecutive days, until you're done ya dum

>find courage to start lifting
It's all in your head, retard. Just find a beginner program and do it.

>I'm looking at the sticky right now. Do I start with machines or actual weights? What kind? What exercise? Which muscles? How many reps? On what days? For how long?
You might be looking, but are you actually reading it you dumb shit? Scroll down to
>Lifting weights: example programs
Pick one and just do it.

>Going to the gym to lose weight

Make a meal plan for yourself first and lose some weight if you're feeling self-conscious. Going to the gym will only make you bigger and leaner if you have the right nutrition.

It’s easier if you have a friend who lifts to go with to show you the basics. Off get a PT if you have money.

Whatever you do don’t take advice from anyone here. If you’re not sure why just go check out the Faces of Veeky Forums thread.

Go there 5 times a week
Do everything 3x12

Squats
Deadlift
Bench press
Rows
Incline bench press
Lat pulldown
Shoulder front-side-delt
Bicep curls
Tricep pulldowns

Good luck

MOMMY SPOT ME

What a garbage "routine"

Stop giving fitness advice

Go fuck yourself

lol this guy has a fat butt

Go to the gym at 1am

stronglifts.com/5x5/

Everything you need to know is in this link, OP.