Greentext stories

chips as In tater chips

Can't lift the autismo away, amarite lads?

Attached: photo.png (296x296, 56K)

underrated

There's no shortcut my dude, tomorrow is not a better day to start, do it now and just keep doing it no matter what. Miss a day? Fine, but make up for it the next day. No magic recipes for success, you're not gonna be someone else another day that can magically accomplish shit with no effort, fucking start now.

>be me today
>at thrift store with my sister just fucking around while she's there
>keep walking around feeling swole from morning's work out
>just looking through some old books
>get bored and look for sis
>get to the counter and there's a girl there, she looks at me and really smiles
>sothisishowmakingitfeels.pdf
>forget how to smile back
>do a 360° and power walk while looking for my sister
Today I got my first mire ever but handled it like a true autist.

Not sure if this counts
>walking through grocery store with a big stupid grin on my face thinking about a simpsons episode
>not really paying attention to where I'm looking, I guess I looked right at some girl for a moment as I walked by her
>she looks at me then looks away, then whips her head back at me and gives me a huge smile like she thinks I was smiling at her
>I walk right by her, realize what just happened, but no, it's too late to go back now
>keep walking down aisle, smile gone

Attached: Symptoms_of_aspergers.png (800x552, 518K)

Can't be fucked greentexting

Gym receptionist always says "you're looking strong!" Or similar

"That colour looks good on you" - girls when I wear a tight shirt

"Fuck you're huge" - people I haven't seen in over a year

Attached: 6C899AEF-A4EE-4E20-930A-46BFFDE4B8A3.jpg (2048x2048, 531K)

Kek, kinda reminds me after loosing some weight a >Girl came up to me after class
>I just put on my old torn to shreds hunting jacket.
>"Oh user, thats my favorite color"
>I take a moment
>"Camouflage is your favorite color?"
>"Oh well, i mean(cant think of the word pattern or style) i just like it alot"
>I finally get a good look at her
-Short
-mixed race
-camouflage purse
-akward face
>"Im just messing with you, nice talking to you i gotta go now."
>I ended taking a sharp right turn and walked around the school so she had enough time to get to her car and leave. I didnt want to hurt her feelings.
She ended trying to talk to me more and more but i wasnt interested in a relationship with her. She started sitting next to me and would occasionally touch while trying to laugh. She may have had a chance but i would sling ding-a-ling at any woman who wears camo.

Women don't approach. You have to do it. Sucks, but its how it is

how do I start a convo with a tinder girl

not true, ive had quite a few females make moves at me from no where. even before i was fit.
>Ive never asked for a foot job but i have received 4 from 4 different women while just hanging out and watching tv.

pick something out of her bio and reference it.
Like
>So you like movies, whats your favorite?
>How long were you a cheerleader
or just ask some simple shit like
>So where are you from
>What do you do for work
The kinda shit you say in the lull of conversation. It brakes ice after that awful "hey" and you just reply "hey" back.
Its better to base something off their bio but once you get them talking it will smooth the akwardness over.

Sometimes that doesn't get a reply. Does it need to be funny

which episode was it

Frank Grimes' funeral

Attached: simpsons-grimes-pic.jpg (1080x720, 145K)

>be me
>Cuts been going well, fixing posture, lifts going up
>Started a new job
>Milf in the office is hot as fuck
>Sit at the lunch table eating and talking with everybody
>She laughs at all of my jokes
>Makes a point to say hi to only me any time she passes by
>Leaving lunch table today
>She yells out "bye user" before whispering something to the receptionist sitting next to her
Pretty sure she wants my dick. I'm one drunken work party away from either fucking a milf or getting caught up in a #metoo

Attached: 1517712281252.png (371x532, 281K)

she looks great in that big but irl she's an 8 because of the teeth. Just a rich 8 whose father can afford her hair

pic*

Looking great user keep it up

>have a fwb
>having sex and her room mate hears us
>she joking suggests a threesome
>fwb gets upset when I say I'm down
>eventually end up banging her room mate a few days later
>fwb doesn't find out for months, her room mate gets off knowing I'm double dipping with her
>eventually I get tired of the deal so I tell my fwb
>her room mate accuses me of rape to avoid criticism
>dip out of that situation because fuck that
>years later she adds me on snapchat out of no where, wants to meet up for drinks to catch up

What should I do lads? The head game was bomb plus she has a rocking bid but she's clearly crazy

Attached: IMG_9221.jpg (640x800, 83K)

>Accuses you of rape to get out of some minor awkwardness
>OMG GUISE SHOULD I HIT IT AGAIN NO WAY THIS COULD GO WRONG

Attached: intelligence below average.jpg (201x251, 11K)

>be me
>orientation for uni
>uni guide makes us play that speed-dating game
>the question is 'do you play any sports'
>Girl I'm coupled with asks me
>I tell her I don't
>'Really!? But you're so buff! Do you workout?'

I was a little flustered because I wouldn't have expected that from a short azn girl

I wouldn't take that risk

Spring Break is here and I finally made it a point to go even though my parents have a fucking 2 story condo like 2 minutes from the beach and never used it.
>self conscious since I don't have the 100% goal body and still feel like I look smol
>wait till it's around like 2pm then get out of the pool and start walking over to the beach trying to not manual walk or feel intimidated
>don't know if I have body dysmorphia but the grills look mad plain and not that attractive, pudgy as fuck
>somehow get integrated with a group of guys and now apparently super friends
>guy in group gives me a beer and I tell him I don't drink
>they seem mad chill and respect it
>the girls in the group seem to start cockblocking me from other girls I try to talk to
>talking to this one girl when all 3 grils from the group get between us tell the girl I don't drink and start ushering me back by butt bumping/grinding me to the group while saying loudly that I shouldn't talk to drunks
>every time I see a girl and smile one of the girls grabs my hand and tries to act like I'm with her
>find out the reason they're doing it is because they think I'm super young due to my babyface and no drinking deal...I'm mid to late 20s.
>due to them thinking I"m young the girls begin dragging me around telling girls to show me their tits since im a 'baby" and my first spring break
It was fun but I expected a lot more to be honest.

Attached: IMG_2390086785760.jpg (540x720, 50K)

Record everything, meet, fuck, leave.

If she tries to pull shit give the cops the recording and counter sue for defamation, character assassination and loss of income.
>We jews now.

Rape her

>Install a rooted Android
>Accept her friend request
>Before meeting up for drinks ask her what the rape stuff was about since you had a consensual relationship
>When she admits she lied to save face, screenshot the entire thing for your records
>Meet up with her and hate fuck her until you're tired of her

Also can we talk about the girls that say they want something with no strings attached but then instantly get all possessive. Like what do you want? A relationship or dick? Pick one.

Attached: 1516409172268.png (900x600, 769K)

no, but it helps.
The best tip to keep them around is to work on your bio.

Why the fuck do you have painters tape on your ass? Is that some kind of gay fetish thing?

Fuck I always had to go home and plow my parents fields for summer veggies during spring breaks in college. And there are girls just showing tits cause they think you're young? Fuckin' hell kids these days.

She appears to be on some sort of Jew vessel judging from the flag and menorah writing on the banner. Search Instagram thots who post in Hebrew

>mfw when this would be the exact exchange if it was me

Veeky Forumsizens are all just carbon copies of one another, aren't we

Attached: wojak_auxiliary_076.png (212x238, 14K)

Hello fatso

why's it matter? You'll never see her in real life, and even if you did you'd be too chickenshit to say a single word to her

this, holy fuck she's beautiful.

>be me
>10 years ago, 18 years old, just transferred to university from community college.
>Get a duplex with my best friend.
>Neighbors house is full of older kids
>Soft of get to know some of them over the year
>Finals week, I'm home alone
>Skinny fat, 6'6", and self conscious virgin
>Two girls from next door show up in panties and bras
>Say they're having a pool party next door
>Tell them they don't have a pool
>They just giggle and say it's a kiddy pool and it's just for fun
>I tell them no thanks
>They come in and make me show them the house, and keep asking me to come over
>I refuse, cause I didn't want to "hang out", and they seemed drunk
>3 years later it hits me what they came over for
>fuck

Yeah, I'm fat. But why do you have painters tape on your body?

Her name is Linoy Sror. Israelite.

>Accused you of rape
>She's clearly crazy

>WHAT
>DOES
>A
>MAN
>DO
>THO?

Don't touch her even with a 400ft pole, moron

Probably so they can download images of her and save them in their meticulously organized underage instagram slut folder so they can post it on Veeky Forums and fap

at least you got laid

Attached: 1517517190911.jpg (2199x2324, 555K)

or maybe the dude just wants to get his rocks off to a literal goddess

Physio put it on for some reason to help with back injury recovery

>new qt at work (retail)
>just my type
>start to notice subtle interest from her
>lots of smiling and strong eye contact
>says hi and tries make small talk
>walks through my area after work even though it’s out of the way
>buying something after work, waits for me even though other co workers are available to help her

She lookin like a snack, boys

Should have told those girls to fuck off

ugh

t. high test

good to know there are other people who like dad humor here on Veeky Forums

Just think about it user. They are acting oblivious to what they want but truly they are getting exactly what they want. They are able to tie a man down just enough to wear he’s probably not having sex with other girls but at the same time she doesn’t have to deal with the commitment of a relationship and can bang other guys or be emotionally distant on days in which she chooses to do so. This all goes back to the principle that women do not know what they want.

Attached: EA804393-CBD9-4467-8B09-A63809DC3633.gif (270x270, 1.7M)

Takes one to know one, user

Attached: C1E8374D-773F-4054-8C81-C7496B0F479A.jpg (332x499, 40K)

I just realized how absolutely redundant that post was but hopefully it has some meaning.

Attached: A196BED2-35A7-4261-B386-62C10F876D85.jpg (733x464, 114K)

The main thing is, people don't know what they want. And even if they know what they want, most people don't know how to obtain what they want.

Think of how many fatties there are who want to be thin but have no idea how and just get fatter.

Think of how frequently we have ">Get fit. Still no GF." type threads.

Think of the hundreds of thousands of people who champion this cause or the other, claiming it will solve all ills, when what they really want is just to lead a happy, fulfilling life.

There's a big movement that "women are like dogs who act on impulse and don't use logic and are slaves to their emotion. That's largely accurate, except that "women" is a stand-in for "humans."

The large portion of people who espouse this view also have views such as "People of races other than me are fucktards."
"Chads are fucktards"
"Normies are fucktards"

The slice of humanity gets progressively more and more fine and defined, while always ever excluding the person doing the observation. These views are not necessarily false, they just fail to recognize it's a common symptom, and one they themselves are afflicted with.

In many ways, all man's ills and hatreds can be revealed to be a lack of self-awareness.

This was the most insightful reply I think I’ve ever gotten on this website and it’s been a good 7 years. Thanks for that user. When I was writing that I initially thought of the word people instead of women but for some reason chose women probably only to appeal to the thread and what seems to be the common opionion of them here. Which speaks negatively on my behalf as all I was trying to do is fit in. Therefor I don’t really know what I want, thus proving your point.

Attached: C6E62E28-8232-4FF0-A561-98D9ED354CC1.jpg (900x1155, 397K)

Good for you. Well done.

Attached: IMG_20171019_123258.jpg (1200x675, 84K)

Couldnt agree more, you can turn it around starting now, there is no better moment

Use corny pickup lines from the misc board at bodybuilding forum

The best we can do is recognize our own failings in ourselves, and in others, and strive to be the best version of ourselves we can. You can't make people's minds and decisions for them, but you can support them in their own quest.

It's my opinion that if there is any goal in life or existence, it's to improve the world. Improving yourself is the best first step, because you are a part of the world. But you must improve yourself in the context of improving the world.

Consider your actions and why you do them. "Will doing this make the world a better place, or a worse one?" The "Iron Pill" type people are on the right track, but they get muddled up in adversarial nonsense, and a lot of the motivations are narcissism and a clinging to nostalgia, ironic in that they have nostalgia for times before even their fathers' fathers were alive.

It's easy to have ideals, but be careful to examine what those ideals mean to you, and what makes those ideals virtuous, and whether you are applying them in a way that embodies them, or in a way that despoils them.

Good luck, Anonymous. You have at least one person rooting for you.

I'm with you my man, after years of searching i eventually found just like you that the closest meaning of this life is to help others, to improve this world of ours. Thanks for posting

Attached: HitlerOnWoman.jpg (1000x664, 249K)

am i alone in not enjoying girls with guys checking me out? i find it repulsive that they're so disloyal and i feel embarrassed to be the object of their sinful desires

>nearly 3 years out of high school
>at a bar in my college town, 15 miles from where I went to high school
>drinking with a few guys from high school
>hear that we're gonna meet up with two sluts I haven't seen since I got my diploma
>get there
>they don't recognize me at first
>then they notice me and start whispering to each other and giggling
>try talking to me
>give a few one word answers until they leave me alone
Never really cared for them much, and there was a hockey game on.

Excellent fucking point.

Nice anterior pelvic tilt you got going there.

>t. ugly

Attached: 7e9dbbe68977fbcc0a56e8037a33086e.jpg (500x625, 34K)

Not him, but I really needed to see this. Thanks man.

>first spring break ever south padre island
>go with roommate from college and his friends
>one day go to coca cola beach
>tits and ass everywhere
>even GGW crew is there
>2 9/10 sorority girls stops me and ask for some beads
>tell them they know what they have to do
>they start to lift their tops
>stop
>"can I just have them?"
>give them both beads
>they laugh and walk away

Attached: 1519980089837.jpg (949x1024, 62K)

jesus h christ

Attached: 1498171778015 (1).jpg (427x427, 21K)

Oh boy user you're bready cool xDD

Attached: 1520732786675.png (366x405, 46K)

This.

Unloyalty of any kind pisses me off.

Thanks. I do it all for your approval.

kek

Are you retarded?

Well done saving the honor of these women.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa you fag

use the mike pence strategy, never be alone with her. if you smash her, bring a bro to document for purely legal purposes.

Wishing you luck

It's not as crazy as it use to be spring break at SPI. When I went in 06 it was just a fucking sea of people the entire beach. This year it's like little sections of people. I think the beach scene is dying to be honest.

The new crazy shit is the biker fest , those whores are fucking crazy

>home for christmas
>girl i used to like tells me im a "14/10" now
>other hot girl tells me "you're really good looking now, like really good looking" when she's drunk
its not much but it makes me feel good when i think about it

>be with girl last Saturday night
>she sees my body
>"oh my god, how are you not having sex all the time?!?!?"

Attached: 1519484404162.jpg (236x199, 10K)

Bullshit.
My current as well as all of my ex gfs made the first move on me.

>be me
>first day in gym
>no lifting shoes yet, so wear sandals
>load the bar with my body weight
>2ez
>add 2pl8
>wakeupinhospital

Attached: IMG_20180303_133742.jpg (3036x4048, 1.8M)

>Spilled spaghetti to this girl who used to come into my job all the time. Now she stopped showing up.

>Women's sandals

Attached: IMG_20180303_134325.jpg (3036x4048, 1.67M)

I sometimes forget just how human people using Veeky Forums are. I'm not the one you were replying to, but thank you for this post user, genuinely brought a smile to my face.

>be me
>skinny fag 21yo
>first day in gym
>get scold bc I didn't have a towel and I use "outside" shoe
>start doing OHP, can't add weight, the bar is already heavy, can only lift it
>imaembarassement.jpg
>go squat, this time I can add 5kg to the bar..
>can only squat just lower than parallel, I just need to know if I have the butt wink or no
>chin up time, even negative one are difficult..

Mixed feelings, I feel like only the OHP made me work, I don't feel any "works pain" in my legs after squat, but I couldn't add more weight since it provoked pain in my scapula's spine region. I feel like this session was useless...

Attached: 1520110067-stick5.png (136x102, 19K)

Why aren't you, user? If not getting laid bothers you, go get some fuck. Clearly you're attractive.

It wasn't useless. Start a thread and ask for a good routine to get a few ideas of what you could do. As for diet, you want to go over your TDEE by about 500 calories, and get 1g of protein per pound of bodyweight. Learn recommended values for Carbohydrates, Fats, and Sugars as well.

>>"Camouflage is your favorite color?"
based autisticposter

Attached: 1358092442929.png (429x410, 13K)

It wasn't useless. Your first couple of sessions should be used to work on your form, and maybe not even had any weight at all. Once you get your form down you will be able to add more weight and you will start to feel it more. Look on YouTube at some form videos and keep in mind some cues for next time

hello jidf

>get together with a chick who accuses you of rape just to avoid criticism

I've never been so autistic as to post or even laugh at 'to inteligent to X' posts but how the fuck do people like you even manage to get sex with the level of intelligence you have?

Attached: 1512861207174.jpg (750x750, 58K)

user.....

Attached: 1492106848753s.jpg (250x240, 10K)