Gym Eldritch horror is on the loose again

>gym Eldritch horror is on the loose again

T̸̩̙͎̝̯͙̘̀ò̘̦̦̬̝̤͍̪́ ͇̗̺̘̜̰̝̀i̱̬̥̻͖̞̖̮n͔̕͞v̼͚̗͇͈͕̟̩ọ͍̪̮̘͎ͅͅķ̣̟̝̹e̻̗̰̤͉ ̤̮̹͉͙̪͙͍t̼̟̫̰̬͜h̟͈͕̀̀e̟̘̳͇ ͎̝̣h̬͔̯̗̬͓̠͕͠i̡͓̪̫v̰̗̼̱̥ͅe̠͈-̰̜̥̰̗̺ṃ̴̴̢̤͇i̸̙͇͈̖n̰̖͇͖̙̟ͅḑ̩̙ ̵̹̦͓̬͙̥̻͔͜r̙̮̦͡e̷̛̯͖͈p̘̰͍̤͍̱r̶̩̘̳̹̻͙͢e̴̟̘̹s̷̹̻e̢̫̟͈̙̥͢͝n̷̻̼͍͠t̰͖̭̗͎i̶͓͙n̴̰̣̩̺̰g̶̪͖̯̣͖͜ ̶͚̜͚̙̦̕c̷̝̻̟̺͞ẖ̤̯̤̦̠̫͜a̢͙̗̜̼̹o͙̤̭̮͢s̶͓̺͚̭͉̻̫͡.̶̴̫͙̫̰̤͔͔̹ͅ
͓͇̙̤͙͇̳̳I̡̻̺͔̞̪͈̙̦̕͠n͈̯̱̫͎̮̳̰ṿ̧̪̩̯͇̰̬o̯͖̺͍̝͇̤͢͝͝ḵ̶̤͚̱͞i̵̖̪̪̖̬ͅņ̫͍g̼̹̝͇͕̗̤̰͘ ͍̰̝̳͡ͅt̩͔̙͔̕h̷̺̞͘e̥̖̜͎͇͇̮ ̶̡͔͔̞f̡̳͕̱̼̣̙͡e̠̜̘̟̝e̼̙͙̭̞ͅl̯͍͝i̷͓̪̞͇̟͈̳̭̰n̷͔̰͉g̛̤͎̮ ̴̤͉̤̭͚̖́ǫ̭̩̬̼̠͉f̡̛̝͕͔̬̩̙̳͟ͅ ̵̶͙͉͍̰̯̠́c̛͍̰͇͖͉̪̼͠h̺̜̙̦̮ͅa̸͔̭̕͠o̷̡̟̺̻̯s̴̢̛̻.̨̢͙̩́
̳͚͇W͙̤̺̩í͍̘͙̙̼͉͈͓t̶̻̟̰͕̝̦h̛̟͓͔̕ͅ ͎̹̠o̵̢͙͇ṵ̖͈̣̯͇͍͡͡t̗̦̜͈͈̰̤̹ ̙̬̮̠͕͚͟͞o̭͉̤r̨̢̮̯͔͈͔̠͓d̸͕̹͕̗e͍̞̩͖͉͉̝̘r̫̱̗̱̳͓͝.̠̱̙̪
͇̯̻͚T̵̪͚͚̥̦̳̺̳̙͠h̸̨͓̰e̟̱͔ ̩̣͞͠Ņ̤̹̮́͘e̷̛̠͓͖̟̮̘z̧̥͔̠̞͖̗̝̹͝p̴̞͍͈͜ẹ̦̜͉̬̣̗̟͞r̴̬̻͉̼͔ḑ̵͇̣̖͟ì̳̼̺̝̭̟à̡̝͈̹̖̤͔̤̟͜n̜̖̘ͅ ̮̗̮̼͇͔̕h̶̵̳̻̙̺̠̹̩͔̕i͙̣͇̰͡v̷̸͕͚̪̩̣̗ȩ͕̘̺͝ͅ-̧̘͚͇̖̻̰͕̫̣͟͡m̤̠̼̟̦̀i̺͟n̞d̴̹̣̝̟̱͇ͅ ̶̛͓̖̮̫̰͘ó̷̰̺̳̱̺f̨͇̺̜̠̩̹̣̗̕͝ ̨̨͙͓̬̜͝c̢̖̱̭̰̠̼͠h̢͍͠a̻̘͚͔̼͚͞o̘̻̖̫̘͔̘̤̫͢s̶̞̘͖̼̞̠͚ͅͅ.̵̢͉̘̱̱͙͘ ̨͎̝̬̖̯͕Z̵̴̙̳a̝̠̳͙͓l̘̤̟͉ͅģ̛̩̟̺͔̫o̹̖̯͎͈̙̭.̨̘̮̭͙̜̱͇

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No it’s not

"In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits lifting."

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sorry bout that. can't afford roids, can get spellbooks n shit at the library for free.

>That is not dead
>Which can eternal lift,
>And with strange aeons
>Even death may die.

IÄ! IÄ! DEADLIFT!

>gym bard composed another hurtful verse about my deadlift form
heard him singing it in the body pump class.

>tfw gym orator eloquently incites public uproar at my knee cave when squatting
>tfw ostracised

>gym mummy keeps trying to break out of the old locker with no key

Not even a good arena pick.

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vocaroo.com/i/s1sH5aJxXYLm

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>gym goblin gang carried off my plates and water bottle

>ogre doing leg day again
ffs he takes up the only two cages in the gym, at once!

>attend miskatonic university
>uni gym full of lanklets doing db presses in the squat racks
>recently reanimated cardiobunnies walking way too slow down hallways
>fish people performing sacrafices on the deadlift platforms
>mfw

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>attend miskatonic university’s weight training program
>they don’t even let you read the rippetonicon unless you’re a professor
Should’ve just gone to Dunwich CC

>Enter gym
>Roll for routine
>Eldritch crossfit
>Perform 5 tentacle pullups

>Deep ones take over the pool again

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>go to use bench
>last person to use it didn't wipe off their goo

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i remember you from another thread my dude

>ichtiouslets escaped the pond again

>forgot water bottle
>gym night-gaunt hiding behind the vending machine
>start throwing plates at it to get it to move
>it attacks the manlet trying to escape the pit

>tfw gym vampire converted the gym twink
>he's now twice as thirsty for my gains, and carries twice the amount of bloodborne viruses

>and water bottle

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> Said "Hi!" to the stone gargoyle receptionist
> She didn't react
Am I ever gonna make it?

>fellow gym users keep disappearing
Fine by me, means more free equipment. I wonder what that strange whispering is.

Did the manlets summon it?

> the pit was supposed to contain them
> instead it harnessed their power

What was pic related's routine?

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>tfw unholy dimensional portal opened up in front of the smith machine
>dudebro dyels who are too afraid to squat get pulled in and come back with unnatural gainz
One guy even ran out of smith machine portal, ate some mutant mass, and immediately overhead pressed 3 people with his eyeball tenticles and tongue. He was banned from the gym afterwards for sexually assaulting gym members and digesting them from the inside out, but still, mad gains for the people who least deserve it.
I'd become an Eldritch abomination minion myself, but I wouldn't be caught dead near the smith machine.

> Real men stopped coming to the gym
> Manlets are getting out of the pit, but manlets they are no more, because 6 feet tall they are now.
> All my big boys from before are gone and I'm the only one left.
I hear whispers from the pit

>need protein
>approach gym merchant
>"Whatcha boyin, strangah?"
>been going to this gym for years

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>Feel asleep while resting
>Woke up in unknown Kadath
Goddamnit

I am everywhere.

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>the guy who tentacurls in the squat rack

> Gym troll told me to squat my bodyweight on my first day
> It was a year ago and I'm still in the hospital

>bloatlord Yog-Sothoth takes up half the gym now
Good thing they only feed it manlet souls or I'd be lifting in the other realm

>the gym bard is playing don't stop believing on his lute again

>that guy who reads incantations from the necronomicon between sets

Just a small town maiden
Livin' in a lonely realm
She took the twilight wagon goin' anywhere
Just a city squire
Born and raised in south Helgen
He took the twilight wagon goin' anywhere

A bard in a smoky tavern
A smell of mead and cheap potions
For a smile they can share the eve
It goes on and on, and on, and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the bridleway
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlamps, people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

>Urg is broken again

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>starts levitating 10kg plates from my rack
>'Are you using those?'
>'Nah, man. All yours'
>Get back to trying to rip reality apart with my DLs while he shapeshifts in the mirror

Lazy bastard.

>he doesn't chant incantations between sets for those supernatural supernatty gains

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>be me
>eldritch abomination
>been tormenting the souls of mortals x failure for months now
>getting pretty spooky
>see qt 3.14^-2/0
>flex a c'lexyx'ep
>it laughs
>tentacles spill out my pockets
>mfw

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>ingested forbidden creatine
>my widow's peak has become sentient and mocks my slow OHP progress

kek highly underrated

Is there any real books like this? I would like to read something like this in between sets, do love a bit of gym mind fuckery.

>flex a c'lexyx'ep

unspeakable kek

Cthulhu Fhtagn.

>Gym abomination tells me to do starting strange
>Getting so round I look like a fucking beholder
>Fucking Ch-had"lyxz still gets all the qt mindflayers
>mfw
did I get memed bros?

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kek Should have done strange-lifts x5^5^5
Lmao while I fuck your mindflay-fu
Cursed image related is ripped and huge tentacles ;)

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>Randolph Carter opened the market tomb again

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Nice

Good thread

Severely underrated

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kek

How do i so this fomt?

Excellent

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Is this physique achievable natty? I don't want to sacrifice manlets anymore

> Be me, young Necroman deadlifting cursed books with my zombie minions in my college gym
> Meanwhile, use a complex quadruple curved dimentional portal to watch a braphog Succubus squatting on the other side of the gym
> She's going ass to abyss
Bythesevengatesofhell.forbiddenscroll
> Suddenly she releases the loudest and mightiest BRAP any Eldritch ever heard
> The Almighty One on the plan next door probably heard it
> She is so ashamed her skin turns green
I.have.to.smell.that.dot.Necronomicon
> I lose control over my eight legs and suddenly run through the gym in her direction
> Arrive in front of her and sniff the brap with my middle trunk for extra sensivity
> Smells like sulfur and vanilla whey
Necrobonerengaged
> "What the fuck are you doing you damn creep!?"
> Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, I have to think of something to say, everyone in the gym is watching us
> "Are... Are you an archeologist?"
> Got thrown out by Cerberus and never went back
> Still fap thinking about that smell

magnificent.

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Is Cthulhu natty?

>ass to abyss

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> Dagon keep stealing my water bottles to flush his gills
>everything smells like fish
>its an improvement

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look at those forearms though

how much he can double over hand

>squatting lmao3pl8
>have to pee like a racehorse because I’ve been sipping PWO since 9 AM
>come back to my rack and some girls are using my personal plates

Wtf, I lug those into the gym myself every day, don’t these thots have any respect? I’d rather be caught dead than using the communal plates like a pleb, so I had to wait for the girls to finish five sets before I could get my plates back.

I AM NYARLAHOTEP

THE CRAWLING CHAOS

CRAWLING IS GOOD FOR MOBILITY

>That is not dead
>Which can eternal lift,
>And with strange aeons
>Even user may get a gf

>be glorious half-orc brobarian
>twink elf bard gymbro still gets all the gym thots

>reading The Mad Texan's Strengthonomicon
>hear whispers from the Pit
>something moving in the shadows
They come

Hes challenging you, show your dominance and fuck him in the ass in front of all the gym denizens.

what is the name of this front thing you did always try looking it up when I see it but can never find it

>Gym flutist is playing slower than the rest of the band

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