How can there be no fph?
/fph/ fat people hate
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It's so nasty...
"I work in a mortuary. It seems more and more common that the people we see coming through are obese and morbidly obese. This is a problem. Let me tell you about SOME of the post mortem bariatric issues:
-Sheer size. They wont fit on stretchers, on mortuary tables, and in some cases through doors. They need special caskets which are massive. You know how normal coffins are, well, coffin shaped? With the narrow head, wider at the shoulders, then tapers down to the feet end? Well the special obese size caskets have two bends, more like a boat. Also more handles on it, because it takes more people to move. They might need two graves side by side, or else not be able to fit inside any cremator.
-Sheer weight. You know how they say a dead weight feels heavier than a live one? Double for big bodies. Moving even limbs to wash or embalm etc is really hard. We have special hoists to help, but you have to get them in place first, and that on its own is bloody hard work.
-Skin. Skin is the worst problem. Its thin and tears easy, meaning the gallons of smelly edema (water retention) which obese people inevitably carry leaks everywhere. Double if they are starting to decompose. Hard to suture, slippery, often massive ulcers which rot crazy fast. Also amazing how many rolls and folds contain fungus and long forgotten items such as towels, sanitary napkins etc."
"-Faster Purification. You know how seals keep warm in the cold with the layer of fat? Well inside an obese body it stays at that juicy warm living temperature for much longer, and refrigeration is much slower to cool the insides. This gives all the gastric bacteria a perfect environment for longer, and rocket the putrification process. Sores on the skin and ulcers also allow more bacteria, fungus and vermin to infiltrate the body faster. Edema on board can also make this worse. End result is a very smelly, bloaty, messy body in a relatively short amount of time.
-Embalming is fricken hard. If the person is going to be embalmed, the embalmer needs to find arteries and veins to distribute preservative fluid. For you medical folks out there, you can appreciate trying to find even large arteries under inches of yellow, greasey adipose. Even if you find a vessel, theres likely to be shitbox distribution thanks to 'beetus and the massive weight of the tissue crushing itself. Not uncommon to actually need a small team of embalmers. One to work and the rest to hold the flab rolls out of the way.
-Purge. This is the euphamistic technical term for a dead body leaking fluids from an oriface. The massive crushing force of the body itself and gasses building up from putrification squeeze the internal organs. Since obese people are usually full from stomach to anus (not exaggerating, I have seen the viscera myself) there is a hell of a lot to potentially squeeze out. There is always purge with obese bodies. Sometimes its blood, sometimes its vomit or feces, or something in between, often all the above. Poorly washed vaginal rolls can lead to some pretty oozey infections as well.
-Age. They are never old. They nearly always have young-ish families. Kids whos biggest worry should be acne are burying their mums and dads. Parents are organising a funeral for their kids before they're even old enough to consider their own funerals."
>using quotation marks instead of may may arrows
Who are you even quoting?
obviously it's pasta and you're retarded
>user has never posted a billion grams of carbs on fph and had every newfag think you're both a girl, a boy, old, and young at the same time
Always kinda felt bad for the person in this pic. If they were some hambeast flaunting some 2 piece bikini going on about how they were beautiful anyway it wouldn't be so bad, but this was just someone at the beach not bothering anyone.
>be at the gym one night
>there’s a new guy sitting at the bench press
>chris, the attendant, says he’s the new janitor
>but he does a lot more than mop floors
>this fat, short, smelly guy goes table to table, making sure everyone is talking about just fitness
>kinda sucks the fun out of the whole place but we try to ignore him
>lift some weights, make gains
>rep is over, talk about our favorite workouts
>eventually the conversation drifts more towards general shit like life
>the janitor comes waddling over, hot pocket in his hand
>what do you think you’re doing?
>uhh, just talking about shit, I don’t believe this is any of your-
>ARE YOU AWARE THAT THIS IS A GYM MEANT FOR FITNESS AND GYM DISCUSSION ONLY
>dude my set is over, I don’t think it’s that bad if we talk-
>NO, he says, lips smacking, THIS IS A GYM AND YOU WILL DISCUSS ONLY GYM SHIT HERE
>dude, you’re spraying hot pockets in my face, please move-
>YOU CANNOT BAD MOUTH A MEMBER OF THE STAFF LIKE THAT
>the only one with a bad mouth here is you
>I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED
>fuck off, you can’t make is do shit
>this guy starts fuming because we’re right. He doesn’t even have any real power
>he has to call the fitness trainer to remove us
>see him stuffing down another hot pocket as we leave
>the fitness trainer tells us we’ve been banned from the free weights area for 72 hours
>demand to see the owner
>he says we can’t because we’ve been banned for 72 hours or less
>what kind of fucking bullshit is that
>ask them how much they pay that bozo janitor
>nothing, he does it for free
>be at university
>have actually come to accept fat people, the one's I had talked to regularly were really nice
>go to university's rockwall will friend
>hambeast goes up to the easiest wall, and you can see her sides bulging out of the harness
>Jesus christ that's gotta be a safety hazzard, hope the rocks don't give way
>she goes up and falls off a fifth of the way
>meanwhile, on the adjacent rock wall this fit hispanic girl rings the bell at the top, her wall was 2nd hardest difficulty with moments where you had to use the creases in the wall
>"Wow, climbing that must be sooo hard when you weigh like 90 lbs"
>fit hispanic girl says that it actually doesn't matter and that she'd just been climbing a long time
>fat girl gets defensive about her weight and went off about how both of her parents were big boned so she got the bad end of the deal
>she goes off on how maybe if she went on a water diet like tinker bell over here the rope would just pull her up automatically
>tell her "How about you pick on someone your own size?"
>fat girl gets flustered and storms off
>girl giggles and thanks me
>All in a days work.jpg
>at Chinese place with fat friends
>she claims to do sit ups and push ups every day, but she keeps getting fatter
>he keeps saying he wants to lose weight, but never does anything about it
>tell them they should work out
>like at a gym. dead-lifts, bench presses, squats
>Oh? squats are exercise? well then I do a lot of exercise, because i make the coffee everyday!
>well, i make at least 20 cups of coffee everyday, and i squat down to get the coffee from under the counter
>and how much sugar do you have in your coffee
>... 40 spoons of sugar a day?
>yeah well, i can't stand coffee without sugar
>in my car at the dog park
>right next to poor person apartment complex
>start backing out
>look behind me
>morbidly obese woman in a sun dress sitting spread eagle on the pavement
>too disgusted to focus on anything else, forget what I'm doing
>back into another car
>at work with obese coworker
>work in IT so theres all sorts of large guys, but this guy takes the cake
>foot shorter than me but at least 50+ heavier
>there is a gym in the basement of the building we work at
>no fees or anything, free to use for the employees
>I've asked if he wants to join me
>he says he wants to lose weight
>keeps eating garbage food
>THE GYM IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE JUST GO DOWNSTAIRS GOD DAMN
Is it bad that I like her tits?
Enbalming is a fucking racket, ohh lets charge a whole bunch of money to make sure aunt patty dosent rot away in the 2 days from death to shoving her in a hole.
user why did you even bother putting in the energy to make this shit up?
This one gets me a little steamed. That poor dog.
she looks like this buzzfeed abomination, just black.
Yes. They look like a couple of drowned racoons stuffed in a pillowcase and left in the sun.
I'm sure I've read this before. It's either him ripping off someone else's story or a genuine oldfag.
Thanks op, lost 17kg, gained 3 in the last few months, need my fix of fat hate to put a stop on it.
I don't believe these stories to be true
>friend's italian mom cooks way too much food and aggressively pushes it on people
>friend's mom is skinny, friend is shreaded
>they get a dog, cute pup
>spend a year or 2 away from their house
>come there from a bar one night
>laugh on the floor like a maniac because the dog is now a fat sausage
If i weighed that much id avoid the horse thats screaming in pain
>hes never told an obese person to pick on somebody their own size
The janitor one is.
Trust me, I was there when it happened.
mirin tricep gains
Do people really not get that you aren't being literal? It's alluding to mods on this website you fools
What’s a creative way to troll a fat girl who lives on the floor above me at uni? She’s the type who would post it on social media and say something like “never in this day and age hate speech blah” so it might as well be a creative method.
no shit, faglord
Also kek at the brainlets who responded to you
You know those little cards that fall out of magazines that you can put your address onto to sign up for them? Sign her up for a few free trials of fitness stuff.
I read somewhere that they cut up obese corpses into pieces to fit into crematoriums because the corpses cant fit inside. Is that true?
Leave shit outside her door from "her secret admirer" like cakes and cookies but packed with mass gainer so it gets to the point to where she has to be cut out of the door frame and she's sobbing wondering why her night in shining amour isnt ther to help her.
For the people who likes to read.
It's an honest living.
well, there's some sense to it. what would you rather see at a funeral with an open casket? aunt patty made up to look somewhat decent? or aunt patty rotting and stinking up the place?
inb4 cremation, closed casket, dont go to funerals, etc
Looks like somebody isn't enough to lie
Jesus Christ what a fucking cuck is the guy who wrote this. Not only does he live with her for like 2 fucking years before they try to get her evicted he listens to his landlord who is just jewing them out of money telling them to clean her room. Then he goed back after the bitch signs the contract... then when she steals his stuff the only reason to get it back would be 'his gf wouldn't get off his back'. If this is really a true story what a sad little pushover this guy was.
empathy has no place here. /fph/ is about projection, first and foremost
can someone please explain to me why americans have such a boner for having open casket funerals?
why do you all ant to look at some dead cunt?
It's supposed to be about closure. I think it's retarded personally.
She could have been absolutely gorgeous.
I still don't understand how it's even possible to get this fucking fat.
that's synthol. there's no way she's natty
el ogro de las americanas
>remembering the >he does it for free stories now qualify you as an oldfag
Yeah, they occasionally have to do it to avoid fires.
have a few FPS stories. not that good probably, my life isn't that exciting. note that i live in a country with a large percentage of overweight/slightly obese people, but you'll rarely ever see morbidly obese people
>have a friend
>used to be the 'fat ass of the class' back in high school
>becomes drug addict
>spends most of his money on drugs so lives off bags of crisps and other cheap unhealthy shit
>as you can guess he just keeps on gaining weight, becoming morbidly obese
>gets sick, doctors blame it on his unhealthy lifestyle. goes into rehab
>notices my weight loss when i visit him later
>'how did you do it?'
>'exercise, eat healthy, cut the carbs'
>'i'd like to but i feel too embarassed to exercise and i just like junk food too much'
>have coworker, not too fat but definitely chubby
>notices my weight loss
>asks me how i did it
>'exercise, eat healthy, cut the carbs'
>says she can't because she's having her menopause
>another coworker, she's definitely in the morbidly obese category
>notices my weight loss
>asks me how i did it
>'exercise, eat healthy, cut the carbs. lost 20kg since i started working here'
>she laughs like yer typical hamplanet, finding it hilarious that she actually GAINED 10kg since she started working here (like 3 months ago)
>look at her a bit disgusted
>she wobbles off
el goblino verde
write "GAS THE FATTIES WEIGHT WAR NOW!" on the elevator doors
how can you hate fat people when action bronson exists?
>somewhere sometime a self hating user unzips trou and beats it to this monstrosity,
I got it, but I also didn't comment.
So is burying people in plots. Both Staples of funerals are retarded
Based on how often these are posted, I'm guessing it's all the time
>how did you do it?
>please show me how to do it too!
>no, ew, not that way
Jesus Christ, I remember studying in Japan for a little over a year and I saw so many mini-documentaries on how fucking fat Americans are. Do these people not realize what a disgrace they are to our country? It is so embarrassing to have to make excuses for them, saying those people are the minority. Not for long, bitch! We’re at a steady climb to one day reach an over 50% fatass rate. Who is allowing this to happen? Who the fuck is going to do something about it? How can we?
>fat shaming doesn't work
Because he's a degenerate manlet who suffers from severe health issues and is only kept going because of his severe ADD?
this guy is so overrated by lazy stoner slobs. He's an ok rapper and a mediocre chef who's made his wealth on a lifestyle of excess that a bunch of unmotivated twenty somethings think they can achieve without effort
Sorry to tell you, but most Americans are already overweight and we're quickly closing in on a majority being obese.
Please tell me charge you the fatty's families extra $
My god, just look at her, she would be a pretty girl if she wasnt a hambeast. She is forever ruined, physically by all that lard and mentally by all the fat acceptance and liberalism shit. Have mercy on her heart and cardiovascular system and just put two in the back of her head.
good spot, newfag
incredibly depressing if true
>nessie in the corner
98% wants me to believe this is true because it lines up so perfectly, but then there's one part of me that's disappointed with the world and believes it could be possible; that, and user didn't come back in with a wig on to use the free weights regardless.
Since when do we let newfags define oldfaggery?
I'll never be an oldfag because I wasn't here early enough; I don't care how much of my life I've wasted away here, I'll never be part of the secret club.
If you aren't overweight by BMI (greater than 25), you are a twink and/or a framelet
>Lyman grounded, begs me to visit her
>Go over to hers and we watch some chickflicks while eating mayo out of jars
>I'm not even eating mayo, having my greek yogurt in a mayo jar kek
>"This tastes disgusting." Lyman smacks her lips, has another heaped spoonful.
>"Well, we could chop some carrots and celery in there."
>"You mean like a salad? ew no way."
>"What about some lays and salsa?"
>Lyman and I go downstairs and add some salsa and crushed lays to our jars of mayo
>Except I got the salsa and she fucking poured nacho cheese in there
>"Teehee this is why I love you user"
>working at a roller skating rink
>tons of stupid little kids, but thats ok cause they're kids
>stupid adults are a lot harder to deal with
>lady walks in easily weighing over 350lbs
>I can clearly see her specially made shoes
>she comes up and asks for a size 6 (about average shoe size for women)
>I know this isn't going to work, but I can't just say "ma'am you're too fat for this"
>fast forward through her sitting down and trying on every sequential size of skate we have until we get to size 13
>size 13 doesn't fit
>its clearly not the length, but the width of the foot that's the issue
>Finally find that she can squeeze into a 15
>all of her weight is centered between the wheels
>goes out onto the skate floor after an hour of trying on shoes
>about 3 minutes in, I hear her scream
>she's fallen, tango down!
>walk out to the floor to see if she needs assistance defeating gravity
>she's broken one of the steel plates the skates use for support
>skate busted, so I have to tell manager
>manager tells her she'll have to pay for the skate (around $100)
>she flips out, saying this is prejudiced
>I tell her this is a special situation, we've never had someone weigh too much for skates
>the look of extreme discomfort comes on her face
>she starts crying amid the hundred or so kids also skating that day
>feel bad for a moment, then her crying becomes screaming
>she's flailing her arms around like an infant
>head arched back, screaming to the roof, and squriming every moveable body part in protest
>me and the manager back away
>every kid in the place looking on
>she goes at it for about five minutes before suddenly stopping, getting up, and walking out as if nothing happened
>she leaves her shoes with us
>work as a student assistant in anatomy lab helping 1st years with dissections
>cadavers are always very old skinny people
>nothing smells bad and I don't even use gloves all the time
>there's a shortage of cadavers this year
>can't be more than 10 people per one body so they started accepting the fats
>I have a very strong stomach, how bad can it be?
Normal procedure to preserve bodies is to pierce some blood vessels and wash the blood out with tissue fixating fluid (formaline + whatever). Then they spend a couple of months in pools of those same chemicals. With regular sized people it looks like pic related
>greyish brown muscles
>all the tissues are very firm
>mostly doesn't smell like anything except chemicals
>easy to dissect everything cause they're skinny
Fat fuck we got this year:
>their arteries are so fucked and there's so much fat that embalming chemicals can't penetrate all the tissues
>muscles are reddish brown and slimy (like spoiled meat) because of the above
>fat is white/translucent and disgustingly mushy
>gloves are so greasy and slimy after touching like I dipped them in frying oil
>you can't see shit
>people have accidentally cut muscles, vessels and nerves because of the fat and because everything's the same color
>he was 40-50 year old unlike everyone else who were 70+
>their intestines actually ARE full of shit like that copypasta on the top of the thread says
>won't be eating meat for a week, just thinking about it makes me gag
Today they opened the abdominal cavity and I got the fuck out after a few minutes. those poor fucks who have to dissect everything. Fuck everything about obesity
btw there aren't american-fat people here, I've never even seen a motorized scooter irl. This guy only had 120kg max and was fairly tall. Now imagine how morbidly obese look
> Be 19 and working on check out window at Mcdonalds, first week of summer and it's afternoon so busy as fuck
> Next guy gives me his order on my headset, dude has a British accent and sounds familiar for some odd reason
> Dude rolls up to my window, it's David Beckham, his kids and some dude in the passenger seat
> Ohshit.jpg and hand him his food
> Don't know if word got out that he was around here or whatever but all of the sudden like 7 cars rush in and 4-5 people come out of the building
> Two landwale teenagers come out, one is making a B-line literately running full speed to his car with a face like an emo teenage girl about to meet Robert Patterson cutting though the parking lot and shit
> Becks looks and goes "Lets get back to the hotel before thunder thighs gets any ideas here" to his friend in the passenger seat
> We both chuckle as I hand him his food and he speeds off
> Landwale teenage girl goes back inside with her friend and orders a 50 piece nugget while talking about how she got a glimpse of him and and she swears that he look back at her in a "romantic" way
> Can't stop laughing for the rest of the afternoon
pic related how normal cadaver looks
>handing out photo tickets
>Screen shows a rocket that hasent shown up yet
>Holy shit the rocket is bring in back planet
>planet skin is so black it looks like an empty shirt in the black background.
>2 tiny white moons near the top of...oh its a person.
>it rolls in.
>AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh is all you hear
>planet is so fat her rolls extend out of the rocket
>rocket comes withing an inch of the floor
>rocket is floor level to the rocket so the top edgeof it/side of the rocket is lvl to the floor.
>Her fat is caught in itbetween rocket and floor
> AHHH LORD HAVE MERCY
>Ride is stopped
>they remove her fat from the wall
>They try to take her oout but she is stuck in the rocket
>she begs them to take her out
>The rocket has to be destroyed in order to bust her out
>Ride is closed for the day while paramedics and firefighters attend to the beached planet
>Finally break the car apart
>peached planet takes a wrong step
>gets stuck int he track she fell through.
>lulz were had
>another 30 min debate on how fat she is and how they are going to get her out
This. Or just print out "how to lose weight/be healthy" articles and leave them in front of her door
i wish i had access to a gym
judging from yall stories gyms are either cheap as fuck or free
>tfw skeletal lanklet forever