The Dwarf King has a cake sent to you

But not to be sliced by waiter's knife, oh no.
The cake comes with a special serving table, that's actually a portable trap.
Once cake is placed on the serving table, trap will spring and cut it to pieces in fraction of a second.

Yours aren't?

Oh, let me guess, you're one of those field grazers to the middle-west.

I shall send him a better cake in return, as a subtle way of indicating the poor quality of the cake he has sent.

>This is a +Cake+
>The cake is crafted in the shape of a porcupine in chocolate
>The porcupine is surprised
>The item menaces with spikes of chocolate

Forgot my cake. I am a poor dwarf indeed.

At least it menaces with spikes of--
Seems that we already have all bases covered. Good work!

How about this?

Ooooh no, I've seen the kind of work dwarves do.

>The elves have baked a number of cakes

not posting the literal dragon dildo? for shame user.

>Dwarven salt

It's a fitting ingredient.