Your party is sitting in a tavern, when you hear a commotion outside

>The whole party turns towards the paladin
>Why have you ordered yourself arrested, wtf Fal
>"By the order of WHICH king, sergeant?"
>"Go tell my brother we've just saved the kingdom again, and that it's high treason for him to call himself king - and that all that obey his orders are accomplices"
>"Bartender, give this man and his accomplices a round, put it on the royal tab! They just avoided the executor's axe, give them something to brace themselves!"

Considering that my current character in WHFRPG 2nd Edition is hyper lethal Grail Knight?

Give them a chance to back down and apologize for not only insulting a high ranking noble, but also threatening one of the Lady's chosen warriors. If they don't, kill 'em all with the rest of the party, which includes another Grail Knight (there were originally six as questing knights, that number eventually was whittled down to 2).

>He is not your enemy, guardsman, nor am I.
>Were he guilty as you say, would not the gods have retracted their blessing from him?
>Surely you are mistaken. To be fair, he is of common complexion, I understand the mistake.

>implying other games have players

I'll take them down, 33 against one, with my unmatched fencing skills and blazing speed

Why is the king sitting around in a common tavern?

>Were he guilty as you say, would not the gods have retracted their blessing from him?
tfw when he's paladin of evil gods

Set the tavern on fire, that should cause enough panic and chaos for us to slip through.

this

Because the One True King (TM) is an adventurer, his group uses a well known adventurer's tavern as a base to catch all those rumors of threats to the kingdom before they grow so big they get to the palace.
Also, his halfling companion might or might not have been banned from the palace grounds for gluttony and thieving of the royal pies, and the party can't really celebrate their victories without him. A new royal pardon would fix it, but it won't be a week before an other is needed, why even bother?

>paladin
>banditry

This is clearly a setup of some kind. I ask the guard to explain the exact charges, then calmly explain that we happen to work at the king's orders ourselves, producing all necessary paperwork and seals to prove this. Meaning that someone in the guardman's chain of command is feeding him erroneous information. The party then joins the guardsman in an investigation of this conundrum.

The Paladin would probably convince the guards that there's been an error.

Or we fight our way out since the "king" of the country we're is either a vampire puppet or a vampire himself.

an act of pure goodness

"Sorry, wrong guy."
Then I ignore them.
If they continue to be annoying I'll just cast invisibility and leave.

"Banditry? well I'm not a big fan of his problem solving skills but I assure you good Sir ,Fal Ginniver here is a good, holy and just man nonetheless. I am curious as to what proof do you have for this bermishment on his name, I am sure the Gods themselves have proof that what I say is nothing but the truth"

Then the rest of the party would use my distraction to slit the guard's throat. Good Ol'Ginniver, yep, Good Ol'Ginniver, how I hate him...

Rolled 15 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

I distance myself from the group claiming I was just drinking with them and I take no moral standing with the rest of them.

Finds a corner and spams burning hands or and equivalent.

>all these talkers in a situation that you clearly won't talk yourself out of

it would be a waste of 3 feats to at least not attempt to bullshit my way out.

I roll Charisma to start getting all of them to waver in their faith
I then roll Persuasion then Diplomacy to force them to yield and give away all the information.
We then hang whoever ordered this shit, or pillage the city state

Ongar begins to RIP AND TEAR

I tell them I'm the Thane of whiterun. Then, I gran a bucket, put it on the guard's head, sneak behind him and steal every single object he's carrying.

true heroes. admiring songs will be sung of your names for centuries to come.

I point somewhere behind the guard and scream "WHAT'S THAT!?" and quickly hide under the table.

>Decide to go outside quietly, maybe we can escape from the dungeon later
>Go outside, see masses of guardsmen, including captain of the guard holding a covered package
>Captain of the guard, who we thought was a good friend of the paladin, is struggling not to grin
>what'sgoingon.jpg
>suddenly all the guardsmen shout "surprise!"
>captain pulls cover off package, revealing a cake
>guardsmen start singing happy birthday
>GM produces a cake from under the table, gives it to paladin's player whose actual birthday it is that day
>good end

10/10

Detonate the charges.

>still slaughter the guards though 'cos loot and exp won't earn themselves

>All these corrupt agents of evil turning against a good, honest paladin
AHAHA
TIME FOR JUSTICE

Burn the innkeeper, kill the guards, rape the tavern to the ground

Fuck the king

LN monk/rogue stunns the paladin and asks for information regarding said crimes since this man here identified him self under another identity and it would be appropriate to confirm if his identity is false or not before they make the arrest.

>got observant, expertise in insight etc. and scholar background going full on lawyer on them.

>rape the tavern
that's brutal

>What does your character do?
He grins and says "I surrender, suckers".

The party's slut begins to create a distraction by humping the table while the rogue sneaks behind the bar to make a cocktail. The ranger goes upstairs and shoots at the guards outside with her crossbow. The paladin, taking advantage of the distracted guard, runs to the door and barricades it before going upstairs to help the ranger take care of the guards outside. When they're all dead, the rogue will offer a cocktail to the guard and politely point him to the door before stabbing him in the back 46 times. Then we thank the innkeeper and leave a gold piece each in the counter before going outside to grab our loot.

"haha you puny mortals, you think you can contain the rage of darkshadow"

*unseathe my katana and teleport behind the guard*

Now *grins* die

The katana snaps in half for the fifth time because it's so shit, whole party facepalms and guard throws me to the ground

Remind him that im an agent of the lord above, protected by the authority of the pope and purify him and his men in a blaze of holy fire

>In my defence, the kids were all orcs, guard-captain sir!

Finish my meal slowly, then offer my hands to get handcuffed and follow the guard.

>assuming the guards won't just slaughter everyone who runs out
you can only use civilians as a shield/distraction if your enemy actually gives a damn about civilians

Since nobody in my party is named Fal and neither am I, I just shrug and let the guardsmen see our papers. Clearly there's a misunderstanding.

My knigga.
Somone fucks with the paladin, they fuck with GOD.

"It seems like everything is in order. Thank you and sorry for bothering you sir. Good bye."

>"Oh no you don't! Those forgeries aren't going to save you this time!"

I carefully peel away my face to reveal, to the astonishment of my party and the villagers, that I'm actually Fal Ginniver, the infamous Lich Trickster and BBEG of our campaign. Every suspicious action of my character is explained in that moment, and the GM grins and says "Roll initiative."

>Guards slaughtering civilians
What the fuck? I guess that's a thing in some settings but considering they're putting someone in house arrest I'd guess the setting isn't all grimdark with town guard slaughtering the population

...

"Well, now I feel rather silly." I reply and peel of my face to reveal that I'm the Stone-faced Priest, the legendary musician that has caused the moral erosion in the youth of the kingdom.
"Come, mortals! Bend before the ways of heavy metal!"

>turns out the entire party have been pretending and are all BBEG of different campaigns

/thread

user I need a bigger version of this image.

>players actually acting as befitting their rank

I like your style. Way too often players just play it off as they're generic adventurers. If you have weight, throw it around.

I pretty much exploit the rule that Sigmarites are bound to aid Dwarf folks and the empire in general keep them in high favour compared to other places.

...

Yeah it's one thing if they're noble born, in which case a Bretonnian would not jump to spill blood. But peasant scum, threatening a motherfucking Grail Knight? There aren't enough "oh shit nigga" memes out there to justify just how big of a fuckup that guard got himself into unless he immediately apologizes and backs off.

Mass suggestion to make them realise the error of their ways.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

I bluff.

"...And I have you surrounded by twenty sellswords, and your men outside surrounded by a town sized mob of people who very much like Sir Paladin here. Surrender. We're ready to cut you all down if you try to run."

>The party's slut

Tell us more, user

and I! using GM FIAT have the guard say:
"Well we knew about the town, so we had the 21st legion of mages set up defensive spells and runes as well as casting sleep over the entire town."
Party wipe
Spend 3 hours rolling up another character.

Congratulations, you lost your players to shit DMing.

>Spend 3 hours describe ever increasing and ever more implausible legions of legions surrounding small rural town undetected to catch one lousy bandit

fix'd that for ya

Thirty three men to arrest two men, a boy and a whore.

Fuck it, I'll go with the guards just to see what I've done that has them so terrified.

For fuck's sake, not the Wyld Hunt again. All right, we surren - SOLAR HERO STYLE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

>The Lich peels his old dry skin away to reveal that he's in fact Mr. Skeltal, bringer of calcium and Herald of the kingdom of Femuria!

>The all-female party stares at the guard and the paladin, clueless.

>Why is the female paladin wearing such a large codpiece?

>be servant of her mistress dender the night serpent
>have learned the secrets of the mortal mind

I snap my fingers and watch them fall asleep

2 min before
>"If we don't leave in 5 minutes and there's no sound of struggle, fire explosive crossbow bolts into the tavern."

>Taking 33 men on a mission
>Leaving the town undefended
>Risking the lives of what has to be a majority of the guard
>Arresting a feared, infamous bandit
>Not waiting until they're drunk and leaving or sleep to kill them
>Not taking advantage of their corrupt legal system to avoid risking lives

Kill the idiot commander, leave town and get the paladin a mustache

Kill their idiot commander

That town watch is fucking hardcore.

Well, there is also "swordsman kills them all" and "how exactly your measly thirty men expect to get alive out of the middle of hundreds of our followers all across the town?" With our current party we can basically roll the dice to see which option to pick.

have you just accused Commissioner Gordon of being stupid?

>only 33 men protect the town

Kys.

>spellcaster gets lit up by bowman the second he does anything

get fucked, casterfags

I stand up, walk outside, and detonate the magical explosives I have tattooed all over my body while my party kills anyone trying to stop them inside and walk out the back
I then go after them a day or so later when my body reforms in the place I popped

>implying Spellcaster ain't keeping up mage armour on himself at all times and casting Silent Protection from Arrows while all attention is turned to the paladin. and then Stoneskin and Shield for good measure once the things go south

Didn't say it was only 33 men, but taking 33 away from duty is incredibly stupid.

>spellcaster
>not behind 7 protection spells all the time
Pick 1

Is slut, does slutty things.

The paladin has See the Supernatural, notices the guards aren't actually human, and begins the systematic process of bitchslapping them back to the wake, with the help of the Double Light/Chronomancy Wizard Mentalist, and the lunatic Technician who DEFINES overkill.
If things go bad for them, the entire town(and everything else in a three-mile radius) is likely getting Ki Nuked.

>Implying the archers don't have purging instant death arrows that dispels all spells on the target and getting damage boost and increased save DC for each spell dispelled from the target.

If only there was a low level spell that makes the caster completely immune to non-magical ranged attacks.

Meant to quote OP.

/thread

Richard Rhal plz go

Plz stay go

>You seem to have confused me with someone else.
>Let us return to your watch post and we may clear the issue up.

At which point the paladin provides some evidence of his identify, such as his signet ring, correspondence with members of the clergy, testimony from the party or some well respected local NPC we helped.

We could also ask the paladin to cast any magic spell, with a trained spellcaster to identify the type. Maybe cast Detect Alignment on him.

If somehow all of the above isn't available or unconvincing, we send a magic message to the paladin's monastery/mentor for help. We pay for the message spell, and two teleports.

>Zone of Truth
>Run that one by me again. Why exactly am I being arrested? And who is paying you to do this?

And a tavern full of people know. Gossip spreads fast, mate.

>"Yes-yes, your friends identity is confirmed. Paladin in good standing, smiter of evils, etcetera, etcetera. But might I remind you we're an evil nation called Evillainia and your paladin has killed (and looted) many of our subjects and is a wanted as a serial murder in our unfair city?"

>Oh! My apologies, this seems to have slipped my mind.
>Very well, since you admit to to serving evil knowingly, and are prepared to use lethal force if not complied with, it seems we are forced to respond in kind.
And then the caster kills them all.

see? could've just attacked in the tavern.
also
>"Let me remind you though, that Grand Lord High King Emperor Duke Torturus Evilmurderington the Six Hundred Sixty Sixth is the lawful ruler of this land and so you fall for resisting the law, however evil it is."

>The Paladin calls your bluff